The Catastrophic History of You And Me (19 page)

My necklace? What could she want with my necklace?

“It would probably look better on me, anyway,” she said, giggling. “Gold’s not really your color.”

The tone of her voice was really starting to bug me. It was too sweet, and trying a little too hard, sort of like a Butterfinger dipped in vanilla frosting. Just one bite and your taste buds might explode.

“Ooh.” Larkin’s eyes grew wide, like some kind of eternally happy woodland creature. A bunny, maybe. Or a fawn.

Oh my god, she’s Bambi,
I thought, momentarily distracted.
Her Disney character is totally Bambi.

“Or what about the night of the dance? How good would that be? You could totally reject Jacob right on the dance floor and embarrass the hell out of him!”

That one pushed me over the edge. I didn’t want her talking about all my best moments like she owned a piece of them, almost like she knew me better than I knew myself. This was
my
life we were talking about. NOT hers.

“I’ve already
been
back,” I snapped.

Her Bambi eyes sparkled. “Not like this, you haven’t.”

The world suddenly felt off kilter. Off balance, like maybe I was going to throw up. “Stop it,” I said. “I don’t want to play anymore.”

“It’s not a game, Brie. We can make a deal, right here, right now.” She smiled. “It’s easier than you could ever imagine. And once you’ve had your fun at home, you’ll come right back, and we’ll party ’til forever. Just you and me. What do you think?”

What did I think? I could hardly
see
straight. “An entire day to relive?” I whispered. “Any day I want?” My body began to shake as memories of home flooded into me—the boringly wonderful everyday memories that only I could know. My friends singing to Lady Gaga on the way to school. My mom making me birthday pancakes while Dad serenaded her with Bob Dylan. The sound of Jack’s laughter when he used to chase me through the sprinklers during summer vacation. The electric warmth of Jacob’s lips on mine.

“You’re for real?” I whispered. “I can really go back? No strings attached?”

“Well . . .” Larkin giggled, pointing again to my necklace. “Just the one small string.” She did another cartwheel. “It’s a pretty good deal, if you really think about it.”

I brought my hand up and lightly touched the soft, delicate chain around my neck. Reached back and felt for the small metal clasp, buried somewhere beneath my hair. But when I tried to undo it, small prickles of heat began to snap-crackle-pop across my skin like invisible rubber bands. Tiny blue flames stung at the corners of my eyes.

In an instant, another memory flashed before me.

And when I looked up, the city was gone.

CHAPTER 33

you must be my lucky star

T
he glass was crystal clear and smooth, and it smudged a little as I ran my finger over it, nice and slow.

He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me not.

“Please don’t touch the display, dear,” said the woman behind the counter, her hair tied back in a low, loose-fitting ponytail. “It’s just been cleaned.”

I snapped out of my lovey-dovey dream world. “Oh. Sorry.”

Across the room, I heard the sound of muffled laughter. Felt my face redden and shuffled over to where Emma and Tess were standing, by the antique hat rack. “Thanks a lot,” I said.

Tess held up a pair of big black sunglasses, slipping them on. “Well?”

“Love them,” said Emma. “Very Audrey. I am in full support of that purchase.”

“OMG, you guys, Rabbit Hole is the best!” Sadie came bounding out of the fitting room in a deep purple strapless dress. “We are coming here every weekend from now on.” She grabbed Tess’s sunglasses off the top of her head and put them on.

“Hey!” Tess protested. “Don’t get any ideas, Sadie.”

“Ooh.” Sadie struck a pose in the nearest mirror. “These look really good on me.”

“What?!” Tess exclaimed. “No way, you look like a grasshopper. Your face is too small for those.” She held out her hand and tapped her foot. “Give them.”

Sadie laughed as she handed them over. “Fine, fine, fine. But I’ve just cut you out of my Oscar acceptance speech, for your information.”

“I’ll take my chances.” Tess slipped the sunglasses back on.

“Ooh, guys, come here!” Emma waved us over to a little corner nook, where she was holding a small, faded ebony music box, with hand-painted daisies on each side.

“So pretty!” Sadie rushed over, still in the dress.

“But look what I found inside.” Emma lifted her chin. A delicate silver chain hung around her neck, with a tiny hummingbird dangling from its center.

“Ems, that’s so perfect!” I leaned in for a closer look.

“Right?” She grinned. “And look, there’s more.” She opened the box and we all peered in, greeted by a mixed-up assortment of silver and gold.

Charm necklaces
.

All of them sparkly. And all of them begging to be tried on.

“Wait, guys, how much do you love this?” said Tess. She reached in and carefully pulled out a tiny copper mermaid, which, when it glimmered, was nearly the same color as her hair. “I’m
totes
getting this.” She handed it to me. “Can you put it on for me, pretty please?”

I undid the clasp and fastened it around her neck. The chain was just the right length; not too long, not too short.

“
Perfect
.” Tess beamed, looking more Ariel-ish than ever.

Sadie pushed a stray piece of dark hair from her eyes. “Me next.” She spent a minute or two poking around at the necklaces and looked disappointed. “Aw, you guys, I don’t really see one I like.”

“What about this one?” I reached over and pulled out a gold chain with a cute, slightly uneven star.

“Brie!” Sadie threw her arms around me. “This is
perfect
. I love it!” She rooted through the jewelry box. “What about this one for you?” She lifted a charm from the box and held it up for me to see. It glimmered at me from the palm of her hand, and when I picked it up, it was like the necklace had chosen me.

A heart.

Sadie moved behind me and brushed my hair back, so I could lock the clasp. Then she put her arm around me and kissed my cheek. “Love it!”

“Hey, I know,” Tess said. “Let’s always wear these. Let’s always wear these and always be there for each other, no matter what.”

“Oh
all right
.” Sadie sighed dramatically. “I will put you back into the Oscar speech.”

We all stared at each other for a second, and then completely broke down laughing.

“Always,” I said.

“Forever.” Sadie looked at me and smiled. Her brown eyes sparkled and I could see how much she loved me.

Oh, Sadie. I miss you so much
.

All of a sudden, I felt the cool brush of gold against my skin. I smelled the salty-sour mix of polluted city air as the shop melted away and the Macaulay Park playground faded back into view.

Larkin was right back in front of me, her hand outstretched. “Hellooo? Earth to Brie . . .”

A feeling reached up from somewhere in my stomach.

No. She can’t have it.

“Here.” She reached into the back pocket of her jeans and pulled out a rusty pocketknife.

Where’d she get that?

She took a step toward me. “Let me help you take it off.”

Hamloaf must’ve read my mind again, because he started to growl from across the playground, deep and low.

I watched Larkin carefully. “Why do you need a pocket-knife?”

“Don’t be afraid,” she said. “It won’t hurt or anything. You’ll get what you want, I’ll get what I want. And then”—she smiled sweetly—“we’ll be best friends forever.”

Okay, stalker, talk about taking things a bit too literally.
Suddenly, I was completely creeped out of my mind.

“Listen,” I said, backing up. “I don’t think I’m feeling up for this—” But before I knew what was happening, I felt my limbs move out of my own control. Felt myself kneeling in the sand before her, like some kind of sacrificial lamb chop.

What?!

I watched in fear as she flicked the pocketknife blade up and marched toward me.

Hold on a second. What the hell sort of trade are we talking about?

I was just a girl. Just a girl made of smoke and dust and faded memories. What could she possibly want from me?

Salvation
, I thought I heard Patrick whisper.
She wants your eternal salvation
.

“My eternal WHAT?” My forehead broke into an icy sweat.

“I’ll just cut the chain and you’re home.” Larkin brought the blade toward my neck. “As easy as snapping a photo. So say
cheese
.”

I felt my nonexistent pulse begin to race as I tried to make sense out of what she was saying. Was she telling the truth or not?

“Home?” I said. “You really mean it?”

She nodded. “Really and truly.”

Shaking, I reached for the clasp, even as my tiny golden heart began to scorch and smolder against my skin. This time, it burned hotter and fiercer and wilder than before, and I cried out as the pain intensified.

Suddenly, I became worried that I wouldn’t be able to get the chain off before it burned a hole right through my skin. But when I looked up into Larkin’s eyes, I saw something that terrified me even more.

Her eyes were cold. They were hollow. They were
dead
.

Run, Brie. Run NOW.

Imaginary voice or not, I wasn’t about to take any chances.

So I whistled for Hamloaf. I leaped to my feet. And I ran.

CHAPTER 34

to die by your side, is such a heavenly way to die

W
e touched down in Jacob’s backyard and went flying into the bushes, a tangled mass of ghost girl and hound.
“Ugh,”
I said, spitting out a big mouthful of leaves and twigs. “I think I sprained my butt.”

Speaking of butts, Hamloaf’s was right in my face. “Oh gross, Ham, get off!” He pulled himself to his feet with a grunt and shook himself off, collar jangling.

“I’m getting too old for this,” I groaned, rising to my feet. My back let out a loud
crack
when I stood up, and I vowed to sign up for a Zooming Ed class just as soon as I got some free time. I tiptoed across the yard over to the Fischers’ sunroom, and peeked in through the blinds. Once my eyes adjusted to the light, I realized I was staring at the back of Mr. Fischer’s head—a giant bald spot, to be precise—while he and Jacob’s mom watched
American Idol
.

“Oh, he’s awful,” Mrs. Fischer said, commenting on some dude’s screechy rendition of “Hooked on a Feeling.”

“Not as bad as the last one,” said Mr. Fischer, flipping through the newspaper. “Did you call the school again this afternoon?”

Mrs. Fischer sat up, and I could see she looked a little weary. “I did.”

“And?”

“They’re not making any promises. The coach feels terrible, but with Jacob sitting out the rest of the season, there’s really nothing they can do. He said they’d revisit the issue this summer, once he’s had more time to heal.” She paused and took a long, slow sip of tea. “The best thing he can do for now is focus on keeping his GPA up, and staying with the physical therapy—”

“My son is going to Princeton!” Mr. Fischer slammed his hand down on the table, reminding me that I’d never really liked him. He’d had a bad temper for as long as I could remember, and had always been way too tough on Jacob and Maya. Total military dad: strict, orderly, a little old-fashioned. He’d caught the two of us making out on the couch once and I’d thought he was literally going to go through the roof.

“That boy has worked too hard and come too far, Mary. I’ll be damned if one little injury is going to get in the way.”

“Lower your voice,” she said. “You know how upset he is. You know how tough this year has been on him, first with Brie . . .” She paused for a moment. “And now this injury. If we push him too hard now, he may decide to quit track altogether.”

“Over my dead body he’ll quit.” Mr. Fischer threw down the paper. “He’ll just have to work harder. Quitting is not an option.” Then he stormed out of the room.

Suddenly, I was overcome with guilt. What kind of trouble had I gotten Jacob into? I’d only meant to shake things up a little. Not to ruin his whole life. I knew now that I’d been wrong to punish him. I’d been wrong to sneak around and steal Sadie’s phone and spy on their private conversations.

I’d even been wrong to hate them.

Sure, I’d had my reasons. But I had also let my anger get the best of me. Sadie had been a good friend—
my best friend
—once upon a time. And Jacob had been an amazing boyfriend. But we were only sixteen. What had I really expected would happen? That he would be the only person I would ever love? That someday the two of us would ride off together into the after-high-school-sunset?

The truth was, when I really thought about it, our relationship had never been perfect. It had never been the exact right fit. Jacob was hilarious and cute and smart and sensitive—more than any guy I’d ever known. But he could also be distant. Moody. Too hard on himself when things didn’t go his way. There had been a few times when—as much as I hated to admit it—I hadn’t liked kissing him as much as I’d wanted to. We’d had some epic kisses, for sure, but there had also been kisses where I’d felt something missing.

Even though I had never really understood what.

Watching my parents fall apart had made me rethink a couple of things. Like maybe,
just maybe,
Jacob had never been the boy of my dreams.

And maybe it wasn’t fair to keep punishing him for it.

If Sadie and Jacob had found that thing everyone in heaven and on earth was searching for, who was I to stand in their way? I might not have a magic wand to fix all the things I’d broken, but I could try. Besides, life was long, but death was longer. I didn’t want to end up like Crossword Lady, plunking away at crossword puzzle after crossword puzzle for the next fifteen eons. I knew what I had to do.

It was time to make peace with Jacob Fischer.

I made my way across the backyard, around the pool, and over to the big sequoia tree on the left side of the house. I tried to zoom, but the trip from the city had left me totally exhausted and I didn’t have the full amount of energy that zooming required. My best option—my
only
option—was to climb.

Hamloaf stayed right at my heels and gave me a curious look when I grabbed hold of the highest branch I could reach and threw one leg over and up. “I’ll be back in a sec,” I said. “You stay.”

He whined, long and low. Opened his mouth like he was about to let loose.

“Don’t you dare bark, Hamloaf Eagan,” I whispered, “or Jacob’s parents will send you
straight
home.”

I reached for the next branch, hoisting myself higher. I’d hoped to channel my inner spider monkey, but was pretty sure I was only channeling my inner Chihuahua. I’m not sure why I’d thought being dead would make me some kind of expert tree climber.

“Wow, I
suck
at this,” I grumbled. The ribbon on my dress—now tattered from all kinds of bridge jumping and bay swimming and crash landings—caught momentarily on a sharp edge of one of the branches. I managed to pull it free, but in the process got a quick visual of the ground below. Hamloaf was now about as big as my pinky toe.

“What the heck have they been feeding this thing?” I said. “This tree is
way
higher than it used to be.” But there was no turning back now. I climbed higher and higher through the branches until I was just about level with the third floor. I leaned back against the trunk to catch my breath, and blew the hair out of my eyes. Then I counted to three, held my arms out like a tightrope walker, and slowly began to walk the branch—one step at a time—toward the glowing bedroom window fifteen feet in front of me.

Don’t fall, don’t fall, do NO
T fall.

Once I’d made it to the end of the branch, there was only one thing left to do.

Jump
.

I took another deep breath, and threw myself across five feet of open air until I landed with a giant
thud,
my face smashed in the ivy.

Hamloaf began to growl from somewhere way below. “Don’t you do it,” I said. “Don’t you make me come down there.” I curled my fingers around the ivy-covered trellis and imagined Patrick laughing at the sight.

Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other siiiiiide. . . . it’s the climb,
I could almost hear him doing an intentionally bad impression of Miley Cyrus.

Then I felt a pang of sadness.

Silly outfit or not, I had really started to miss him.

I made my way to Jacob’s window and slowly peeked in. I saw him almost immediately, sitting at his desk with his back to me. He was hunched over, head down, his books and papers spread all around him. But as I peered in closer, I realized something else.

He was crying.