The Chandelier Ballroom (23 page)

‘I love you too,’ he murmured back and had her cuddle even closer, no longer caring who noticed.

Arriving at their stop, she said quietly as they stood together for a moment, ‘I think I should go straight home.’

It was uttered with a certain amount of significance and he knew immediately what she meant. His hand on her thigh had disturbed her, but in a way that he now knew had made her frightened to trust herself. He had to honour that.

‘Maybe it’s best,’ he said. ‘I’ll just walk you back.’

The last thing he wanted was to push her and have her loathe herself because of it. Once they were married, he knew she would give him all the love a man could want, but for now he must allow her time to take things at her own pace. That was how it should be. But time wasn’t being kind to him.

Panic would make itself felt every time it came to mind that any day the whole unit could be ordered out. The first sign of course would be being given embarkation leave, and he vowed not to waste all of it going home to see his parents, but to spend part of it taking her somewhere nice for a few days, with only one day to visit his parents and introduce her to them.

Off alone together, how would it be? That was if her parents would let her go off alone with him. How would she react if they tried to stop her? Knowing he might be sent away from her for God knows how long, surely she’d want to spend what time there was with him, rather than bend to their will like some child. If she did, what chance was there for them?

Even if she did defy them, come away with him, would she let herself behave like a married couple? He would have looked forward to finding out if it wasn’t that at the conclusion of their time together he was to be taken away from her for God knows how long. So much could happen in that time. He could be killed. He could be wounded, to return broken and crippled. Could he ask her to spend the rest of her life nursing him? Or maybe in his absence someone else would come along to sweep her off her feet … God! That would be unbearable. It was this that plagued him as he kissed her goodnight on her doorstep, refusing to come in. To do that would have been to break the spell of their being alone at this moment, kissing her ardently before leaving, she standing waving until he was out of sight.

It was still only eleven o’clock as he passed the Baker’s Arms, hearing the faint music of the jukebox from inside. He felt less like going in there than jumping into that lake hidden by the small circle of trees some way off – the lake, it occurred to him, where Valerie had said some previous owner of the big house had drowned himself. Neither did he feel like going back to his Nissen hut or the NAAFI. Instead he wandered across to the outbuilding where he and Valerie had lain in each other’s arms in the cool darkness.

The memory was sweet but he wished now that he hadn’t shown her that chandelier. To his mind it had spoiled everything. Why the hell had he been so enamoured by it? It no longer mattered, yet he wanted to go inside the building just once more to relive the moment he’d held her close and had begun to fondle her. She’d been almost on the verge of letting it happen, he’d been sure. If only he hadn’t made that one silly move.

One more look inside to recapture the moment, then he’d never go in there ever again. Taking the key that still lay in his pocket he inserted it in the padlock. To his surprise it didn’t turn. He tried again before realising the padlock had been changed; his key was useless. Perhaps it was just as well. He shrugged and turned away. Lifting his arm he swung it like a fast bowler, in the dark imagining the key describing a wide arch to land … God knows where, but he didn’t care. He wouldn’t need it again.

He was walking away when a movement caught the corner of his eye. Faintly he heard his name called, or so it seemed. Turning, he could just make out the slender figure of a woman standing by the door of the building in the darkness. For a second he froze then found his voice, keeping it to a whisper lest he alert other ears.

‘Valerie?’ Surely it couldn’t be her. How had she got here so quickly? ‘Valerie!’

What was she doing here? He started towards her but she had already moved away to the edge of the building. As he went after her she turned the corner of the building. It was her. He knew it. But reaching the corner there was now no sign of her.

Where had she gone so quickly? Racing along to the back of the building he called her name again and again. There was nowhere she could hide. It was open ground from here all the way to a clump of shrubbery half a field away. She could never have made it that quick. What on earth was she up to? After a complete circuit of the building, ending up where he had started, he turned slowly round on the spot, his eyes trying to pierce the night, completely at a loss.

It was then he saw her again, a shape rather than a figure, shadowy in the darkness, about thirty feet from him, now well away from the building and to one side, but so indistinct that he could hardly make her out.

He felt suddenly furious with her. ‘What the hell do you think you’re playing at, Val, coming here …’

A raised hand cut him short, but the voice didn’t sound like hers, unless she was disguising it,
playing games. But what he heard wasn’t funny at all. In fact it made him feel all the more angry.

‘The lady you love is playing you false.’

‘What?’

Instead of repeating what she’d said, she turned and began to walk towards two officers who were now approaching along one of the footpaths. In moments she would be directly in front of them, unavoidable. He glanced quickly towards them then back at her to warn her, but there was no sign of her.

The two officers were almost upon him. Seeing him, they stopped, instantly aware of his tense posture as he stared at them.

‘What’s the matter, Corporal?’ demanded one, his tone sharp and suspicious. ‘What are you doing here?’

Recovering himself, he came to attention and saluted. ‘Sorry, sir, I thought I saw a civilian.’ Why had he said that? If they searched, Valerie could be in trouble – if it was her. But who else could it have been?

The officer, a captain by his three pips, gave a frown. ‘I saw no one.’ He turned to the lieutenant, his tone almost flippant. ‘Did you see anyone?’

‘Not until this man hove into view,’ was the reply.

The captain cast Norman a look of controlled amusement. ‘Well, there doesn’t seem to be anyone here now, Corporal. Had a few drinks, have we?’

‘No sir!’ Norman said smartly, with an inner sigh of relief that she must have got away, yet he was puzzled. Why hadn’t they seen her? Just yards away, in plain sight, they couldn’t have missed her. Obviously they had and he thanked the Lord for that. But he’d have to have a serious word with her, creeping into camp like that. What on earth had possessed her?

‘It must have been some trick of the light. Me coming straight out of the canteen – some shadow or other. Very sorry … sir!’ he added hastily, recovering himself enough to remember the man’s rank.

The two regarded him with unsettling gazes for a moment, then the senior officer gave a crooked grin, although it didn’t exude friendliness or any deal of indulgence.

‘Very well, Corporal, I suggest you go and get some sleep.’

It was more an order than a suggestion. He might as well have said ‘sleep it off’, and as Norman saluted, they moved on, picking up the conversation they’d been having before coming upon him.

The rest of his week he spent pondering on the incident, slowly becoming convinced that it could only have been Valerie he’d seen, yet not knowing what to make of it.

He’d have to tackle her on the stupidity of going down that dark, lonely lane all on her own, to clamber into camp through that broken part in the perimeter fence. She must have realised the trouble she would have been in had she been discovered. So why had she done it?

When he was finally able to meet her, he hardly kissed her before bursting out, ‘You know, darling, you scared the living daylights out of me the other night. What made you do such a thing?’

He was trying not to sound angry. He loved her too much for that, yet he
was
angry, and frightened and deeply concerned by such odd behaviour on her part.

‘What other night?’ she asked easily, smiling as she tucked her arm tightly through his, obviously anticipating them walking on slowly as they normally did. But he stood stock still, staring her in the face, his expression grim.

‘You know what other night, when I took you home after we’d been to the pictures. I said goodnight to you. I thought you’d gone indoors. But you hadn’t. What on earth did you think you were up to, sneaking into the camp like that?’

Her smile had become puzzled. ‘What are you talking about, Norman? We said goodnight and I went indoors and straight to bed. Why would I want to sneak out again – and into your camp without you? It was scary enough that last time when you were with me. I wouldn’t want to do it again in a hurry and certainly not on my own.’ She too was beginning to sound huffy. ‘I don’t understand!’

‘But I saw you. You were standing by that outbuilding I took you to.’

‘No I wasn’t.’ Even with the blackout he could see she was looking annoyed. ‘I don’t know what you are talking about, Norman. You took me home and we said goodnight. Why would I want to go out again that time of night and on my own? Why should I? Honestly, I don’t understand you, Norman!’

Her tone had grown so sharp that he feared a full-scale quarrel, their first one ever. She began walking away from him, her pace quickening. For a second or two he watched her, unsure what to do. Then he started after her, in a few steps catching her up to swing her round by her arm to face him.

‘Stop for just a minute!’ he demanded, his voice raised.

‘Don’t shout at me, Norman!’ she cried back at him.

Even in the stygian darkness of the main road, silent but for the faint music issuing from the Baker’s Arms just along the way, he knew she was glaring at him. This was threatening to become a real row. He couldn’t let that happen.

‘Look, I really am sorry,’ he said quickly. ‘But I had such a strange experience the other night after I left you at your door.’

Hastily he explained going back to camp with an idea of taking a peek into the outbuilding where the chandelier was stored for a last look at it. But as he mentioned the thing he felt her shudder and hurried on to explain that he hadn’t, that he’d thrown the key away. That was at least half true. ‘That was when I saw this figure, this woman, just standing there. I don’t know why I should have thought it was you. Obviously it wasn’t.’

‘Then who was it?’ It was a relief to see she had calmed.

‘I don’t know.’ All he wanted now was to have the subject drop. ‘Probably another bloke’s girl, but for a moment I really thought it was you. Please don’t ask me why and please, my darling, forgive me. It was silly of me and I suppose I should have known you wouldn’t … It was dark and—’

‘Did she say anything when you saw her?’ Valerie cut in.

‘No, she didn’t.’ It was a lie. Whoever she was she’d said something so odd that he still didn’t know what to make of it, only that it had sent a shiver down his spine and did so even now as he recalled the words. But the last thing he intended was to relay them to Valerie.

‘She didn’t say anything,’ he continued the lie, ‘and when I called out to her she vanished round the side of the building. I went after her, still thinking it was you. I didn’t want you to get into trouble.’

Even as he spoke a strange sensation rippled through him at the recollection of those brief words that at the time he had almost put aside during his uncomfortable brush with the two officers. Now they came back, so starkly vivid that it made him shudder: ‘
The lady you love is playing you false.
’

It was like some bad dream that persists into the next day to spoil the waking hours. But who was she, the woman? What had she been doing there? Had he really seen her or merely imagined he had? Yet he was sure she’d been real, that he wasn’t going off his head.

Her words had become imprinted on his brain. All this week they’d been dancing inside his head like tiny invisible wraiths, but he wasn’t about to repeat them to Valerie, not now or ever.

‘She ran off when two officers came along,’ he said instead, wanting only to have done with this awkward subject. ‘I’m really sorry to have upset you. It was stupid of me to think …’

He broke off, aware that he could be digging an even deeper hole for himself. He gave her as bright a smile as he could manage, hoping it would help to make her relax a little.

‘Look, darling, I was just being a bit silly. Let’s forget it, shall we? Do you fancy a drink?’

He heard her give a huff, but at least she had taken his arm, the huff turning to a subdued, slightly begrudging, ‘Yes, if you like.’

Relieved, he gave her hand a loving squeeze, totally overjoyed to have her respond with her own squeeze as they turned toward the pub, a loving couple once more.

Something was in the air – more than something. It was the middle of May and men began to find themselves in line for seven days’ leave, which could only be interpreted in one way – embarkation leave, or as Mac exclaimed excitedly, ‘This is it!’

Norman ignored his lance corporal’s enthusiastic prediction, even though he recognised the truth in it. His main concern, that his parents would automatically expect him to spend most if not all of his embarkation leave with them. How could he not, they as parents needing to squeeze as much of their one and only son’s time out of him as possible.

Sent overseas, when would they see him again, if ever? He refused to think about that last bit. Of course they’d see him again, no question about it, he told himself.

Even so, he had no option but to spend time with them, when what he really wanted was to spend the entire time with Valerie. She was the one who mattered most. He had written to them all about her, had sent them a snapshot of her, one which she’d given him for that purpose – a rather distant shot amid a huge area of countryside that failed to show her in full light. He knew why she’d chosen it, so that any faults she harboured about her appearance wouldn’t show up, though that was silly. She was a lovely looking girl. Her only fault was a tendency to have a low opinion of herself and her looks, no matter how many times he’d told her she was wonderful and beautiful.