The Children of Sanchez (53 page)

My mother-in-law pampered Crispín, who was the youngest. He was the type of man who was always taking sides and who didn’t like to be left behind in a discussion. He quarreled a lot with his older brother Ángel and when his mother intervened, Crispín would say foul things to her.

This brother, Ángel, was married by church and civil law, to a woman named Natalia. They separated and got together a few times and being so Catholic, they really carried the cross. Ángel got a job in Acapulco and took her there to live. His work kept him away from home a lot, and once, when he came home early, he found her in bed with another man, a fruit vendor. He beat them both, although to my way of thinking, he was to blame for leaving his wife alone. Ángel spent three days in jail, and then he brought Natalia back to Mexico City.

My mother-in-law wanted Ángel to kick Natalia out, but he kept her for revenge. At night, I could hear her crying and begging to be allowed to go home. Then came a slap or a blow and more howls. This went on for fifteen days, night after night. Crispín, too, let her have it. He was a great admirer of the fair sex, but when he heard of a woman betraying a man, he wanted to wipe her off the map.

During the day, Natalia was not allowed out alone, not even to the
bathhouse. When she went to see her mother, they accompanied her. She was just like a prisoner. I asked her why she didn’t leave, once and for all, and she said they had threatened to take away her son, her only child. She and Ángel are still together and have two more children.

Crispín’s eldest brother, Valentín, also had trouble with his wife. At sixteen, when the family still lived in Puebla, he had married a woman much older than himself. They were married by both laws and had two children, but that didn’t mean a thing because when they came to Mexico City she took up with another man. She finally went off with him leaving her children with Valentín, which was unusual, because most women who go off with another man leave their children with their own parents. So Valentín took the children to his mother-in-law and got a divorce.

Crispín’s family never liked me because I didn’t know how to do a thing. I helped my mother-in-law very little. She was one of those exaggeratedly clean housekeepers who changed the bedsheets every eight days and was always scrubbing and dusting.

I found it hard to attend Crispín properly. He was very fussy about his clothes and his meals. When I washed his pants, my hands blistered and my mother-in-law had to finish the job. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t wash and iron his shirts the way she did. No wonder she was annoyed with me! But I tried and it is not true that I spent all my time in the street, as she said.

Crispín wanted to continue living with his mother, but I couldn’t stand it. After two weeks, we set up a place of our own. We had one small room and a kitchen, in a
vecindad
of about fifteen families. Crispín bought a bed and his mother gave us a table and two chairs and some pots and pans.

At first I liked it. I admit our life was disorderly. I realize I was useless and not fit to be a housewife. I kept the house as best I could; it was not perfect but at least it was not too dirty.

I didn’t become pregnant for about nine months and Crispín was angry about the delay. He would follow me to the toilet to see if I was taking douches. Then he took me to a woman doctor to check whether I had taken anything to keep from having a child. After that he suspected the doctor of having made me sterile! But the very next month I became pregnant with Concepción.

For three months I felt nauseated and kept vomiting. I couldn’t
take anything but liquids. Everything bothered me—my breasts, my belly, the baby moving … until I got used to it. I thought Crispín would be pleased about the pregnancy, but it was then that he showed me what he was really like. Do you know what kind of a man he turned out to be? One of those who like to have a wife and children, but without being responsible for them! While I was pregnant, he began to go out with other girls, and I learned that he had a child with another woman.

Now that I had a husband, I had a presentiment that I should not trust my girl friends. I noticed that Irela and Ema would talk to Crispín about their problems and ask him for advice. I was waiting for Ema to do me dirty but my bullet missed its mark because it turned out to be Irela. She was my best friend and already married and I just didn’t expect her to fool around with Crispín.

Crispín had always chased women. He was without morals. One day he invited Irela for a soda, then to the movies, then to the fair. He was out enjoying himself, while I was shut up with my mother-in-law. I noticed how he changed even before I knew about Irela, because a woman can sense these things. He’d come home and dress up. If I didn’t have a clean shirt for him, he’d bawl me out right in front of his mother. I tried to have one always ready for him. No sooner did he take off his dirty shirt when I’d have the water full of suds to wash it.

When he went out, he never said anything to me, but to his mother he’d say, “
Mamacita
, I’ll be right back.” He’d come home at midnight and instead of using his key, he’d make me get up and unlock the door for him. I really think he began to hate me. He’d get mad and say I was incapable and that only his parents knew how to take care of him. He didn’t drink, but he hit me anyway, like a drunkard, over insignificant things. I couldn’t find any way to please him.

Crispín had forbidden me to go home, but I would rather die than not see my father, so I went secretly almost every day. My husband didn’t like the way my
papá
helped me with money and food. Crispín gave me only twenty-five
pesos
a week and for a woman who was beginning to run a house and who didn’t know where to buy things, it wasn’t nearly enough. So my
papá
would give me fifteen or thirty
pesos
in cash and would send milk, sugar and other things. But Crispín didn’t care whether I had enough or not and he wanted me to cut myself off completely from my family.

It was during one of my visits home that Antonia told me Crispín was fooling around with Irela. I didn’t want to believe it, but one day, as I was leaving my mother-in-law’s to buy kerosene, I surprised the two of them. I was passing through the alley when I saw Crispín making signals to Irela about what time to meet her. Irela saw me and realized that I knew what was going on. I just kept walking.

The next day Crispín took me to the movies. As we were going home, we saw Irela and Ema talking together. They caught sight of us and began to laugh. Crispín said, cynically, “Are they laughing with you or at you?” That made me very angry and I said to myself, “I’m going to get hold of that bitch, Irela.”

When I went for bread, I met her in the entrance of the Casa Grande. Right away I said, “Listen, Irela, what are you trying to do, fooling around with Crispín?”

Instead of keeping quiet, or denying it, the way any married woman would, she said nervously, “It’s Crispín’s fault. He insisted on taking me to the movies and I had to go so that my husband wouldn’t come home and find him there.”

“Do you expect me to believe that?” I asked. “And what were you and Ema laughing at?”

Then she had the nerve to say, “Well, it was very funny because Crispín had asked me to go to the movies with him, and when I couldn’t go he took you.”

I began to shout, without caring who heard. “Watch out, Irela. All you do is fool around with married men. I don’t intend to make a fool of myself every time Crispín goes after some skirt, but I’m giving you warning. If you don’t leave him alone, there’ll be trouble!”

Then I noticed a silver slave bracelet on her arm. It was one my brother had given me. Crispín had taken it and then said he had lost it. So that was what he did with my bracelet! I ripped it off her and ran to look for that cynical bastard husband of mine. I told him to marry Irela and let me have my baby in peace. I also told my mother-in-law so that if we did separate she wouldn’t blame me. But Crispín denied everything, and his family believed him. We didn’t separate that time and things went back to normal.

When my sister Antonia first told me about Crispín’s wanderings, she had advised me to pray to the
Santa Muerte
at midnight for nine nights, with Crispín’s picture and a candle made of suet in front of me. She promised that before the ninth night, my husband would
forget all about the other woman. I bought the
novena
prayer from a man who sold these things in the
vecindad
and memorized it. It went like this:

I learned the prayer, but never used it. If he came back to me it would have to be because he wanted to. I didn’t want him by force.

The majority of women I knew prayed at noon to the soul of Juan Minero, with a votive candle and a glass of water behind a door, knocking three times with each Our Father. San Antonio is also very good for bringing back husbands or lovers. Julia, my aunt’s neighbor, who knew about these things, said that the saint loved his child very much and if you covered the picture of the child with a ribbon, the saint quickly fulfilled what you asked, so that he might see the child again. It is even more effective if you cover the saint with a piece of clothing owned by the wanderer.

San Benito also brought back husbands, but he did it by beating them while they were with the other woman. I was afraid to pray to this saint. In all probability it would turn out worse for me because Crispín would come back angry!

My mistake was that I never made my husband jealous. I couldn’t be like other women, Irela, for example, who was completely without shame. The great respect I had for my father was like a wall, separating me and the decent life from a life of sin. Besides, in that neighborhood it was impossible to meet a good man. It is rare to find one who is responsible and who dedicates himself to his wife and children. The one who doesn’t stand on the street corner all day, goes to dances or gets drunk. What could I hope for from one of them, except to have more children? I couldn’t get anything else out of them!

In spite of the fact I am too short and not pretty, there was no lack of men after me. It made no difference to them that I had a husband. When Crispín and I set up our first apartment, one of our neighbors,
Señor
Ruperto, let us connect our wire to his electricity. That was nice of him, no? But then he spoke to me and wanted to collect for it in his own way. I told Crispín not to take electricity from him any more … that it would be better to use candlelight.

The truth is, I was not interested in having other men. If I couldn’t get along with one, wouldn’t it be worse with two? But Crispín kept bringing home his friends and there was always one who propositioned me.

Once we went to a baptismal party with some of Crispín’s friends from the carpentry shop. They began to drink and one of them asked me to dance. I didn’t want to, although Crispín was dancing with another girl. But my husband was one of those men who have the terrible habit of making their wife dance with anyone who asks, and so I had to dance. This fellow held me closer and closer and put his face next to mine. He pulled me over to a dark corner, and tried to kiss me, but I left him standing alone, because my mother-in-law was on the other side of the courtyard, watching.

Then the
compadre
of my sister-in-law asked me to dance. He was just my height and good-looking, with curly hair, blue eyes and light skin. He kept looking at me, and asked me my name. I’ve always been pretty forward, so I told him.

“Marta! What a lovely name,” he said. “You are the girl of my dreams.” His wife was at the party, but it didn’t matter. He took me to the darkest corner and danced cheek to cheek. He told me how nice I was and asked for us to meet somewhere. You see what traitors men are? He was like the cat who, with the rat in the house, went out looking for meat.

He kept talking: “I like you. Why don’t we live together? We’d get along swell. You are my ideal woman.” I tried to joke it off, but he really wanted to make an arrangement with me. I began to see that there were lots of opportunities if I wanted them and if my in-laws didn’t find out. But I thought better of it and refused to dance with him again. With Crispín right there that fellow followed me about like a dog all evening!

Crispín’s family and friends continued to spy on me. His mother said I was never in the house and that I had too many friends. The
sister-in-law who didn’t say I was lazy said I was dirty. No sooner did I do something or go somewhere, when Crispín knew. They caused a lot of trouble for me.

Once my brother Roberto visited me. He was sitting on the bed when my sister-in-law Sofía came in to ask about my health, for I was ill. She left right away, and Roberto did too. Sofía must have told Crispín because he came home in a rage, saying, “How is it you get angry when my nephews climb on the bed, but you let your brother lie down whenever he wants to?”

Just think of that! Sofía had told him that Roberto was eating and sleeping there, which was not true. Crispín shouted that he had set up the apartment for his family, not for mine, and he wasn’t going to be supporting my relatives.

I was angry and said, “If the house is for your family, let them come and live here instead of me.” That was when he punched me hard for the first time.

I didn’t go to see my father until the swelling went down. My brother hardly ever came to see me after that. He must have understood. I was really afraid of Crispín. Just to see him angry made me tremble. If I had raised a hand to him it would have been worse. When I was three months pregnant, I tried to hit him back and he socked me. I couldn’t stand that life any longer, so one day I told him I was going to the toilet (the toilets were outside in the courtyard) and, instead, I went home.