The Chocolate Falcon Fraud (12 page)

For a moment I thought I was losing my mind. Or that it had already gone.

“You're kidding,” I said. “You don't remember the package?”

“What package?”

“The one Captain Jacobs was holding when I opened the door.”

“All I saw was this dark figure falling over backward.”

“Joe! The package clunked.”

“I don't remember hearing a clunk. More of a thud. Then his hat fell off, and I saw who it was.”

I sat up in bed and held my head in my hands. “This isn't one of those times when you and Hogan decide you're not going to tell me something, is it?”

“Lee, if I knew what the heck you were talking about, I'd tell you.”

“You're not pretending you didn't see the package because you want to keep it for surprise evidence sometime in the future?”

“No. I admit there have been times when Hogan asked me
not to tell anyone something—and he specifically included you—but this is not one of them. I did not see a package.”

I began to crawl for the foot of the bed. “Then we need to get up, get flashlights, and start searching for that package.”

“At four a.m.?”

“There's a cop outside, right? He can help us.”

“Lee, that whole area—the front porch, the yard, the driveway—they've all been searched by the crime scene technicians. We're not going to find anything they didn't. And I still don't understand what this package was and why you think it's missing.”

“Okay, Joe. Just before Captain Jacobs came, you and Tess and I were in the living room. She was over near the door to the stairs. I was close to the front door. You were somewhere in the middle.”

“I remember.”

“Someone knocked on the front door.”

“Right. You girls—I mean, you two attractive young women—both looked scared out of your gourds.”

“We were surprised. And you looked pretty startled yourself, big guy. None of us was expecting a caller. Then we all laughed, and you said something—I
think
you were joking—about how Tess and I could hide under the beds, and you would answer the door.”

“Agreed. That's just the way I remember it.”

“That made me ashamed of acting so scared about someone knocking at the door, so I flipped on the porch light and then opened the door. And there was someone standing outside.”

Joe nodded. “Captain Jacobs was ducking his head, probably because the light had just come on and blinded him.”

“Yes. And he was holding a package in his hands.”

“I don't remember that.”

“You didn't see the package?”

“I don't remember it. What did it look like?”

“It looked like a lumpy brown paper thing. Something odd-shaped and wrapped in a paper sack. The man on the porch shoved the package forward, toward me. Then he fell over backward.”

“All I looked at was Captain Jacobs.”

“That does you credit for your concern for your fellow man, Joe. But we've got to find that package.”

“Don't you think Hogan found it?”

“Oh!” I sat back. “Oh. He might have.”

“Despite your belief that Hogan and I have no secrets from each other—we do. He certainly doesn't tell me everything he thinks, knows, or discovers.”

Joe sounded a little annoyed. Which I guessed he had a right to be, since I'd roused him in the dawn's early light to ask about something he didn't even know existed.

“I'm sorry, Joe.”

“You're forgiven.” He waved an arm at me, and I snuggled beside him again. “But let's try to get a little bit of sleep before a new group of cops shows up and starts tromping around on the porch. Just outside our windows.”

That time I had nearly dozed off when Joe asked me a question.

“In the Hammett book,” he said, “when the captain falls in the door dead . . .”

“Yeah?”

“Is he holding a package?”

“Yes.”

“What's in it?”

I was awake enough to get up on one elbow and make my answer dramatic. “Joe! He hands Sam Spade . . . the Maltese Falcon!”

Joe laughed. “Go to sleep,” he said.

I laughed, too. “Okay, but I'm calling Hogan no later than eight o'clock. And some of those detectives and technicians had better have found that package last night.”

I didn't get to the phone by eight, but I made it by nine. Then, of course, it took quite a while for the receptionist at the police station to track Hogan down. She finally told me Hogan would be by our house as soon as possible.

At ten o'clock he knocked at the back door. When I opened it, he spoke. “I'm too old for these all-night sessions.”

“Me, too. And Joe's barely up. I made a large pot of coffee.”

“If that's an offer, I accept.”

Neither of us spoke until we were seated in the living room holding mugs filled with wonderful black stuff.

“Now, what was this important question you had?” Hogan asked.

I outlined my recollection of the package that Captain Jacobs had held when he came to our door. “Nobody ever mentioned it,” I said. “Sometime around daybreak I started to worry that it hadn't been found.”

Hogan stared at me a few seconds; then he swore.

That was so unusual for him that I didn't know what to make of it. I had to ask, “Are you saying that it hasn't been found? Or that my question is too stupid to answer in plain English?”

Hogan pulled his cell phone out of his shirt pocket and made a phone call. Apparently to the lab. He identified his
whereabouts, then asked, “Was a brown paper package found out here last night? Any kind of package?”

The answer was apparently negative.

While Hogan was on the phone, Joe joined us, his hair still damp from the shower, and in an undertone I explained what was going on. He poured his own coffee and stayed quiet, even when Hogan got off the phone.

“Okay, Lee,” Hogan said. “I'm not doubting that you saw this package.”

“I'm beginning to doubt it, Hogan. It can't have simply walked off. But after the captain just fell over that way—well, right at that moment getting help for him seemed much more important than the package.”

Hogan nodded and turned to Joe. “Nobody else came out on the porch, I guess.”

“I don't think that a stranger wandered over to the porch and climbed the steps,” Joe said. “Of course, I was more concerned with Jacobs. I suppose somebody could have walked up behind me.”

“What direction were you facing?”

The three of us went out on the porch and reenacted the scene from the previous night. Hogan took the part of Captain Jacobs, knocking on the door, then falling backward—actually, of course, he laid himself down in a leisurely manner. Joe went outside and knelt beside him, calling, “Stay inside!” to me.

I stayed inside, then hobbled into the kitchen to get to the phone.

Joe pantomimed checking for Jacobs' pulse and making other checks. “I hadn't done any of that stuff since I had lifeguard training when I was eighteen,” he said.

Then I came out again and said inanely, “Oh, I'll get some towels.” And Joe replied that he thought Jacobs was dead.

“That was it,” Joe said. “I tried CPR until the ambulance came, but there was no response.”

“Well, you told me to go back inside,” I said.

“But you didn't,” Joe said. “I appreciated the company. Actually I was more concerned about keeping Tess inside and—well, away from the body. I know she's a grown woman, but she seems like a little kid.”

He paused, then went on. “Actually Tess did come out on the porch at one point.”

“What for?” Hogan asked.

“Just natural concern and curiosity, I guess. I was still kneeling over Jacobs. All I remember is that she was standing behind me. She said something like ‘Can I help?' I said no, and I told her she should go back inside. I guess she did.”

We all stood there, thinking. Joe finally spoke. “I guess it's not inconceivable that someone came up behind me while I was kneeling down. That person could have taken the package.”

Hogan shook his head. “That doesn't make sense, Joe. Besides the fact that you're generally an alert sort of person—well, if I had just shot someone to death, I don't think I'd have the nerve to do that.”

We all thought again. This time I spoke. “We need to ask Tess about this. Actually she's not a little kid—she's just the size of one. She's a college graduate, so I guess she's at least twenty-one or twenty-two. And she's certainly extremely interested in this whole thing. I'll call her down.”

“I haven't heard her moving around this morning,” Joe said.

Hogan frowned a frown that was almost a glare. “I thought she'd already left for the hospital. Her car's not here.”

Her car wasn't there?

“I can't believe that!” I said. I stumped my way into the dining room, where the windows had a view of our driveway. Tess' small red Ford was gone. I turned to Joe. “Hogan's right.”

Joe went upstairs, yelling out her name. Then he called down the stairs, “She's not here!”

I stomped my boot in anger. “That little brat! She must have the package. And she's taken off.”

Chocolate Chat

Nearly every summer I pay a visit to the Mystery Readers Book Club at the Herrick Public Library in Holland, Michigan. At one of the meetings, member Carrie Stroh mentioned that she always used a recipe for fudge that called for Velveeta cheese. It came from her mother. Intrigued, I had to try it.

Velveeta Cheese Fudge

Melt together: 1 pound oleo or butter and 1 pound Velveeta.

Sift together: 1 cup cocoa and 4 pounds of powdered sugar. (That's a lot of powdered sugar. Use the biggest bowl in the kitchen.)

Mix the sifted cocoa and powdered sugar thoroughly, then add the melted butter and cheese. Add 1 tablespoon vanilla. (I added the vanilla to the melted butter and cheese first.)

Carrie says: “Stir, stir, stir until your hand cramps! Spread evenly in a buttered nine-by-thirteen-inch pan. Cool and cut into squares.”

I interpreted “stir, stir, stir” as meaning beat, as with traditional fudge. But when I tried the recipe, I discovered that mixing the cheese-butter mixture with the sugar-cocoa mixture is a Job with a capital
J
. It's extremely stiff. Beating this would be impossible. But the resulting fudge is perfectly smooth and absolutely delicious.

Of course, I immediately tried to call Tess' cell phone. And of course, there was no answer.

I was so mad I considered throwing a tantrum, but Hogan simply pulled out his own cell phone. Within a few seconds he was talking to a guy he called “Bob.”

“Any sign of that little bitty girl who's been hanging around up there?” Pause. “Yeah, the dark-haired one.”

Another pause and a frown. “When did she leave?”

Deep sigh. “If she shows up again, keep her there.” Another pause. “No, don't say anything. I'll be up there in half an hour to talk to him. I think it'll be better to see him face-to-face.”

From that I gathered that Hogan had talked to the guard watching over Jeff. Tess had come to see Jeff, but had left again. And Hogan was headed up there to see if Jeff could tell him where she'd gone.

I was able to speak calmly by then. “So Tess has split.”

Hogan nodded. “She got to the hospital about eight o'clock. Of course, she may be on her way back here.”

“I guess the hospital is the place to start. Let me get some shoes on, and I'll head up there with you.”

“Uh, Lee . . .” Joe was frowning. “Hogan might want to do his own investigation.”

“Listen! For five years I watched Jeff try to lie his way out of things! I'm as good as a lie detector where that kid is concerned. And this could well be a situation when he tries to snow us all.”

I folded my arms and looked at Hogan defiantly. Hogan wasn't one of these guys who rushed into things. His face was deadpan as he looked back at me. Then he grinned. “You might as well come along,” he said. “I'll tell the patrolman here to hang around in case Tess comes back. But there's no telling what those two kids are up to.”

So less than half an hour later Joe and I pulled into the hospital parking lot. That half hour included the time we took to finish dressing. We'd followed Hogan's car, and he hadn't cut the siren off for one moment.

It was the fastest trip I'd ever expect to make from Warner Pier to Holland. It was also the fastest trip I ever had any desire to make anywhere. The longest stop we had was when we had to wait for the elevator in the hospital. We were definitely in J. R. Ewing's room in record time.

And Jeff was asleep.

I reminded myself that the doctors and nurses had said to let him rest. Don't push him to remember. Let him recover from his head injury at his own pace. Keep him quiet. But I sure wanted to shake him until his teeth rattled. What were he and Tess up to?

Hogan went out and came back with the nurse. “Has he been like this all morning?” he asked.

“Well, he seemed to eat a good breakfast. He took a shower. His girlfriend brought him more clean underwear.”

Hogan leaned over the bed. He spoke softly. “Jeff? Jeff?”

No response.

Hogan looked at me quizzically.

Jeff's left eyelid had flickered. I knew that sign, and I joined Hogan beside the bed.

“I guess we can wait until he wakes up,” I said. I winked at Hogan. “Of course, one person has died over this package already. If Tess is the next victim, I—I'll never forgive myself.”

Jeff's eyes flew open. “Who died?” he said. “What's going on?”

“That,” Hogan said, “is what I want to know. And I'd better learn it in the next five minutes, or you're going to be in a cell. And the beds aren't nearly as comfortable there as they are in this hospital room.”

“Where's Tess?”

“That's what we're asking you, young man.”

“Hogan—Chief Jones—we're not doing anything illegal. We're just trying to win that prize at the museum.”

“The guy on duty at Lee and Joe's house says Tess left there about seven thirty.”

I interrupted. “Hogan! Why didn't the patrolman out there stop her?”

“None of you were prisoners, Lee. He was there to keep people away from the crime scene, not to keep the residents of the house cooped up.”

“But who died?” Jeff was getting pretty excited.

Hogan calmed him down and started talking.

Naturally Jeff interrupted. “The captain of
La Poloma
? The captain?” he said at one point. “The package?”

It didn't really take long for Hogan to tell the story. “So you can see why we're worried about Tess,” he said.

By then Jeff was sitting up in his bed, frowning. “I need to get out of here,” he said.

“Do you remember why you're here, Jeff?”

“Everybody tells me I got hit in the head. I don't remember what happened.”

Hogan nodded. “We need to know that. Until you remember, you're staying here or somewhere else quiet.”

“But yesterday the doctor said that I may never remember! He said not to worry about it!”

“I'm sure that's right in a medical sense, Jeff. I doubt it would help your recovery if you could remember why on earth you broke into Lee and Joe's house and hid in their attic.”

Jeff hung his head.

Hogan spoke again. “But as a law officer, I'd sure like to know.”

“I wish I could tell you, Chief Jones. Believe me, I do. All I can remember is being really scared. And a lot of tree limbs thrashing around. I guess that was the car wreck. But I apparently got out of the car, and then—well, I don't know why on earth I would go to Lee and Joe's house and hide.”

Hogan looked firm. “Why did Tess come here this morning?”

Jeff hung his head and sighed again.

“Jeff, she may be in danger,” I said. “We— I mean, Hogan needs to know everything you can tell him.”

“But I don't know everything, Lee!”

“Did she have a package?”

“A package?”

I took Jeff's hand. “Do you have any idea where she's gone?”

“No, I don't. She refused to tell me. She said she might keep her phone turned off.”

“I doubt she would have gone back to the Holiday Inn.”

“No, she hasn't gone there, I'm sure.”

“Does she have any friends in Michigan?”

“Not really . . .”

Had Jeff hesitated before he said that? I looked at him closely. He closed his eyes and lay back on his pillows.

Hogan and I asked a few more questions, but Jeff seemed to be out of answers. He seemed lethargic.

I finally turned to Joe. As a defense attorney he'd spent a lot of time questioning witnesses.

“What have we missed?” I asked.

He shook his head. “I can't suggest any more avenues of inquiry,” he said. “Jeff's an adult. He can see how serious the risk to Tess is.”

Jeff's eyes popped open, and he sat up suddenly. “Listen, I understand! But I can't help you. Tess didn't tell me where she was going. She said she would take care of the package. And she said it was better if I didn't know anything more.”

“Then why did she come here?”

“I can't tell you.” He lay back.

He didn't say he didn't know. He said he couldn't tell us. Hmmm. I was surprised that Hogan didn't follow up on that one.

Joe, Hogan, and I left then. Or at least we went as far as the hall. Then we conferred.

“I guess I'll stay here,” I said. “The doctor will show up
sometime, and I'd like to talk to him, even if I have to act like a wicked stepmother. Joe, if the hospital dismisses Jeff—I mean, discharges him—I guess I'll have to bring him out to the house. I hope that's okay with you.”

“Sure. We can't let him go to a motel, and I can't see shipping him back to Dallas.”

“I'll check in with Alicia.”

“And I'll head to the office for an hour or so. Then I'll be back to give you a break.”

Hogan nodded. “Right. I don't think Jeff should be left alone at this point. For one thing, Tess might call him.”

We split up then. I peeked in at Jeff, then asked the nurse when the doctor was likely to make an appearance. She thought that just after lunch was likely.

Then I went to the waiting room across the hall. At that hour of the morning, it was empty except for the off-duty cop, and I told him this might be a good time to take a break. I pulled out my cell phone and punched in Alicia's number.

After I gave her a report on Jeff—leaving out Tess' escapade with the mysterious package—I took a deep breath. “Alicia, I seem to remember that Tess had been working for you.”

“Right. She's real good help, Lee. Gives great telephone. Accurate with the forms. And always pleasant.”

“We've lost her again.”

“Drat the girl! I'm sure she thinks she's helping Jeff.”

“I'm sure she does, too, but she's not. Alicia, did she have any close friends in the office?”

There was a long silence before Alicia answered, “Maybe.”

“I wondered if she told anybody anything about this trip.”

“Let me ask around. I'll call you back.”

I paced the floor for half an hour. I tried to sit patiently in the waiting room; then I'd go across the hall to check on Jeff. Back to the waiting room. Across the hall. I nearly put a hole in the tile.

When my phone rang I jumped. “Alicia?”

“Right.”

“Did you find anyone who knew anything?”

“Yes and no. Last spring we got in sort of a hole for a receptionist, and Tess found someone in her dorm who could fill in. Patricia Parker.”

“Can I talk to her?”

“She's not here, Lee. She's gone for the summer.”

“Darn!”

Alicia kept talking. “Lee, she's gone to
Michigan
. Summer job.”

“Alicia! Wow! That's fantastic! You're a marvel. I don't suppose you have an address for her.”

“Not a Michigan one, I'm afraid. Have you got a pen?”

When I heard the address, my “Wow!” turned to “Ow.” It was a Dallas apartment complex near SMU.

“Dadgum!” I said. “I bet she let her apartment go for the summer. Does anybody know where she is in Michigan right now?”

“Nobody in the office does. But they think it was a job in summer theater.”

“Oh?”

“She's a drama major. Her main talent is voices.”

“Voices?”

“Yes, she used to do stuff for us in the break room. She can imitate anybody. Ellen DeGeneres. Tina Fey. Even guys. Her
Eddie Murphy is a hoot. And, yes, ma'am, she can do me. I didn't know I was so funny.”

“Thanks, Alicia. If you find out any more, let me know.”

“Surely she won't be hard to find.” She could tell that I was let down. “How many summer theaters are there in Michigan?”

I chuckled, though I didn't think there was much humor in my effort. “Not more than a hundred, Alicia. This is a big tourist state.”

“Oh. One at every crossroads, huh?”

“Not quite, but almost.”

Alicia and I said good-bye, with her repeating her pledge to keep looking for information on Patricia Parker. In turn I said I'd quiz Jeff.

Or, maybe, a miracle would happen and Tess would call one of us.

I first asked Jeff if he knew Patricia Parker and had any idea of where she was. He said he knew who she was but had no idea where she was working. Then I called Hogan and passed on the information about Patricia Parker.

“If I had a directory of Michigan theaters, I guess I could make some calls,” I said. “Or maybe someone could contact the SMU drama department.” I didn't feel enthusiastic about that, and I was sure I didn't sound enthusiastic either.

Hogan chuckled. “No, Lee. If you get away from the hospital, you need to concentrate on chocolate, or my name's mud with Nettie. I'll find somebody else to call all the theaters. And SMU.”

I breathed a sigh of relief and went back into the waiting area. The guard had returned, so I went down to the coffee shop to get some caffeine.

It was when I reached into my purse for money to pay for the coffee that I found the little falcon with glittering rhinestone eyes. It was mine, the one Grossman had given me. Hogan had taken the one with green eyes, the one we found in Jeff's pants pocket.

Yesterday Jeff had muttered something about getting one for Tess. But he hadn't been in a state to tell us where he got it.

“Now maybe Jeff can give me some answers,” I said.

But he said he couldn't.

In fact, Jeff claimed he had never seen such a falcon before.