The Choosing (21 page)

Jerath listens to them talk and plan and wonders, not for the first time, why Meren’s father has agreed to help them. He could very well lose some of his people in the fight, and although Jerath is beyond grateful for all their help, he doesn’t really understand why they’ve offered.

Malek is in deep discussion with Caleb and some of the other shifters, and so Jerath takes the opportunity to ask Meren. “Why is your father doing all this?” he whispers.

Meren turns to look at him and frowns. “What do you mean?”

“Why is he helping us when it could get some of your people killed?”

“Because it’s the right thing to do, Jerath. And you asked for our help.” He sighs and scratches at the back of his neck. “I’m not really sure of all the details, but I think our villages made some sort of agreement five years ago. But regardless of that, we would have helped you anyway.”

“Thank you.” Jerath wants to touch him, so very badly, but he slips his hands under his thighs instead. Meren nods and smiles. His gaze flicks to Jerath’s mouth, and for a split second Jerath thinks he’s going to lean forward and kiss him, but then Meren abruptly stands up and smoothes out his clothes.

He gives Jerath a rueful smile. “I’m going to go and sort out some things for tomorrow, before I give everyone here something to talk about.”

Jerath watches him walk over to his father, who is now speaking with his own men. The shifters are off to one side, talking among themselves. Everyone looks on edge as they prepare for battle, and as Jerath looks around at the assembled people, he can’t help but wonder who might not make it back tomorrow. It’s a horrible thought.

Jerath swallows and chances a glance over at Serim. She looks fiercely determined as she grips Mahli’s hand and listens to Caleb talk. His stomach churns with the realization that it could be any of them.

T
HEY
talked strategy for most of the morning and well into the afternoon. The shifters will all be in their animal forms—they’re more dangerous that way—and will each accompany a group of Malek’s people. Jerath is with Meren and a group of ten others, some of them from the hunting party. They’ve been over their roles again and again, until everyone knows exactly what they need to do.

Serim is with Torek, and Jerath is relieved she’s with someone they know and trust. Mahli seems to be happy with her group too, so Jerath just has to believe she’ll be okay. He can’t afford to think otherwise.

They need to be up before the sun tomorrow, so as soon as the sky begins to darken, people start to leave the fire to try to get some sleep. Jerath suspects it will be a restless night for all of them.

“We’re going back to the tent to rest.” Serim bumps him with her shoulder as she and Mahli stand up. “We’ll see you in a few hours.”

Jerath is up and has them both wrapped in his arms before Serim finishes speaking. They hug him back just as hard. “Promise me you’ll be careful tomorrow.” He whispers it into Serim’s hair, but loud enough for Mahli to hear too.

“Same goes for you, Jerath.” Mahli squeezes him tight. “I don’t want to have to tell your mother that I let you get hurt.”

Jerath laughs and some of the tension leaves his body. He drops his arms and steps back a little. “See you in the morning.”

He watches them head toward their tent and then looks around to see if he can spot Meren. He sees him talking to his father and Torek. Jerath doesn’t want to interrupt them. He can’t say what he needs to in front of them anyway, so he sits back down and waits for them to finish.

Eventually Meren catches his eye and smiles. Jerath tracks his movements as he turns back to talk to his father, pats him on the arm, and walks over to where Jerath sits waiting for him.

“Hey.” He nudges Jerath’s boot with his foot. “Waiting for me?”

Jerath smiles up at him. “Yes.”

Meren glances back over at his father and Torek. “Give me a moment to collect what I need for tomorrow, and then I’ll come to your tent. Is that okay?”

“Yeah.” Jerath stands up and they just look at each other. His fingers twitch with the urge to pull Meren closer, so he makes it easier on both of them and walks away.

J
ERATH
’
S
not exactly sure how long he’s been waiting for Meren, but it seems like ages. He paces across the small floor space in the tent, unable to think of anything but what might happen tomorrow. He’s never had to fight before. He’s only hunted small animals as his jaguar; never
people
.

He’s not ashamed to admit that he’s scared, and not just for himself either. He can’t bear the idea of anything happening to Serim or Mahli, or any of them for that matter. And then there’s Meren.

If Meren is hurt or… Jerath can’t even think the word. If he’s injured at all, Jerath will kill whoever is responsible. He feels it deep in his bones, the need to protect is so strong. He won’t want to let Meren out of his sight for even a moment. Jerath also knows if they’re successful tomorrow, then he’ll be heading back to Eladir. And that’s what scares him most of all.

There’s a noise outside his tent, and Jerath turns to see what it is just as Meren ducks inside. Jerath’s on him before he even takes two steps forward. He fists his hands in Meren’s shirt and pulls him into a kiss. It’s hard and desperate. All Jerath’s fears about tomorrow pour into it as he clings to this moment as long as possible.

All too soon, Jerath has to stop because his lungs are burning. He breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against Meren’s.

“What’s wrong?” Meren cups Jerath’s face and strokes along the edge of his jaw. “Not that I object to being greeted like that, but….”

“I just….” Jerath draws in a deep, shuddering breath. “It’s going to be dangerous tomorrow. People could get hurt.
You
might get hurt. I can’t… if anything happened… I….” Jerath buries his head in Meren’s neck.

Strong hands rub up and down his spine, and Jerath tries to calm himself.

“It’s going to be okay,” Meren murmurs against his hair.

“You don’t know that.”

“I’ll have you there to protect me, what could possibly go wrong?” Meren’s tone is light as he attempts to ease the tension, and Jerath’s head snaps up to glare at him.

“Don’t joke about this, Meren. I need you to promise that you’ll be careful and not get hurt, because it would kill me if anything happened to you.” The words sound strange as they come out, and Jerath licks over his teeth to feel the sharp edges of his elongated fangs. His claws press into Meren’s clothing and he quickly snatches his hands away.

“Hey.” Meren reaches for him, but Jerath backs away.

“It’s the bond.” Jerath feels it pulsing around him, urging him to take, to claim. If they complete the bond, Jerath will be calmer and stronger and better able to protect Meren tomorrow, but he refuses to say any of this. Meren made his feelings clear.

“It’s okay.” Meren moves closer and Jerath lets him. The magic hums contentedly as Meren’s arms wrap around him and hold him close. “It’s okay. I feel it too.” Meren kisses up the side of Jerath’s throat, and his skin burns with each press of Meren’s lips. “I don’t know how, but I feel it.”

Jerath lets Meren walk him backward toward the bed. When it hits the back of his knees, Jerath climbs onto it and pulls Meren with him. They’re clumsy with their kisses, Jerath shuffling back up to the top of the bed and Meren scrambling after him. Jerath doesn’t care, though; he feels the weight and warmth of Meren’s body as it covers him, and the magic of the bond curls around them both.

“You need to promise me too,” Meren says. He lifts himself up onto his elbows and presses a chaste kiss to the side of Jerath’s mouth. “I know you want to get your people out of there, Jerath.” He stops for another kiss. “But please don’t do anything rash.”

He looks more serious than Jerath has ever seen him. “It would kill
me
if anything happened to
you
.” He dips his head and kisses Jerath properly this time, and they cling to each other as if this is the last time they’ll get to. That thought alone makes Jerath flip them over, shimmy down Meren’s body, and tug at the laces on his breeches.

“Jerath… you don’t have to.” Meren’s hand rests on Jerath’s shoulder as though he’s going to push him off, so Jerath bats it away.

The laces come undone easily, parting to allow him access to Meren’s already hard length. It springs free, and Jerath slides his hand around the base and brings it toward his mouth.

“Teeth?” Meren mutters it like a question, and Jerath runs his tongue across his teeth to check, but they’re thankfully back to normal. He looks up and flashes them at Meren, grinning when Meren grunts and pushes him back down.

Jerath strokes his thumb over the smooth skin and elicits a throaty moan from Meren when he leans forward and licks at the head. He circles it with his tongue, collecting the precome and savoring the way Meren tastes. He wants more, wants to have Meren fill his mouth and then swallow him down until he’s gasping Jerath’s name. He knows it’s the bond magic pushing him on and making him bold, but he doesn’t care.

Jerath opens his mouth. His lips are wet and slippery as he takes as much of Meren’s cock as he can manage. Meren is thick and long, and Jerath feels the stretch as he slides down until his lips meet the edge of his fist. He sucks and strokes, swirling his tongue as he moves up and down.

Meren’s hips push up off the bed, and Jerath is quick to pin him down with his free hand. He holds Meren in place, loving the way Meren squirms and tugs on his hair. When Meren gets impossibly harder and his legs tense, Jerath moans around him, and then Meren is coming. Jerath’s name falls from his lips as he releases into Jerath’s mouth.

Jerath rests his head on Meren’s thigh, breathing deeply as he lets Meren recover. He’s surrounded by Meren’s scent, but it’s strongest here. Insistent fingers pull at his hair again, this time trying to get him to look up.

“Come here.” Meren smiles lazily and Jerath crawls back up the bed to lie alongside him. “That’s better.” He slips his hand over the front of Jerath’s breeches and palms his erection. Jerath hisses and arches into his touch.

“I heard that shifter mates can sense each other’s feelings, is that true?” He rubs his hand back and forth, and it takes Jerath a moment or two to answer.

“Yes… well, sort of.” Jerath closes his eyes and lets the magic wash over him. He imagines what it would be like if he and Meren were fully bonded. “They can feel base emotions, like fear and happiness.”

“What about if they get separated? Can they find each other using the bond?”

“I don’t think it’s true in all cases, but it can happen. With some bond mates, if they’re separated they can sense their mate’s exact location, if close enough.”

“I want that.” Meren’s voice is soft but firm. Jerath’s eyes snap open and he stares at Meren long and hard. “With you, Jerath. I want that with you.”

“But after—”

“I don’t care about
after
. We’ll work something out… somehow.” Meren’s eyes are wide and pleading and Jerath’s heart stutters in his chest. “When we fight tomorrow, I need to know that you’re okay at all times, and if you’re not, then I need to know how to find you.”

“The bond is for
life
, Meren. Life. It won’t ever go away.” Jerath closes his eyes and forces himself to be the voice of reason, even though he wants to drag Meren close and complete the bond right now. “We hardly know each other.”

“I know what I feel, Jerath.” He reaches for Jerath’s hand and pulls it to his chest. “I may only have just met you, but you’re all I think about, all I want.” He presses their palms flat over his heart. “I know this is right, Jerath, because I can feel it
here
.”

Jerath is lost for words. If they do this, then he will be mated to Meren for the rest of his life, and Jerath never thought he’d find that. By rights, a mated pair should have their union blessed by the elders of their village, but Jerath doubts the elders of Eladir would even allow it. The fact that Meren isn’t a shifter is bad enough, and coupled with the fact he’s a man… well, Jerath can just imagine how it would go down. He knows he should say no, make Meren understand all the reasons why this is such a bad idea, but he doesn’t want to. Anything could happen tomorrow, and Jerath wants to live in the now. They can face the consequences later. Together.

“Okay.”

Meren’s smile is blinding, and Jerath knows without a doubt, despite what others may say, this thing between them is
right
. He smiles back, curls his hands in the front of Meren’s shirt, and reels him in for a kiss. Meren slips his hand between them again, massaging Jerath’s crotch, and his cock strains against the material.

“We’re wearing far too many clothes, then.” Jerath looks down his body and raises an eyebrow. Meren just laughs at him and starts to undo his shirt.

Their clothes come off in a flurry of movements, arms and elbows everywhere as they hurry to get naked. Meren scrambles under the thick furs and holds the end up for Jerath to slide in after him. Jerath has been hard for what seems like forever, and he can’t help the low rumble that escapes when Meren wraps his hand around him. He surges forward, capturing Meren’s mouth in a hard and desperate kiss. He can’t help it; now they’ve decided to do this, Jerath’s instincts are in overdrive with the need to make Meren his.

He pushes Meren onto his back and wastes no time reaching down and feeling him. Meren is half hard already, and Jerath smiles against his shoulder. He licks and mouths at the skin there, barely resisting the urge to bite. He needs to be inside Meren before he does that.

Meren spreads his legs wide and Jerath slots himself between them. They brush against each other and it’s too much but perfect all at the same time. Jerath trails his hand down between Meren’s legs and passes over his hole, the pads of his fingertips rubbing over the sensitive skin.

“The oil… from the lamp.” Meren gestures in the vague direction of the lamp at the side of the makeshift bed, and Jerath nods in understanding. He may not have done this before, but Jerath knows how things work. Although he and Balent never went any further than using their hands, they talked about it sometimes. Balent liked to experiment, and Jerath was eager to hear all about it. He tried fingering himself once and quickly learnt that nothing was going in there without a little help. He leans over the side and collects some of the oil on his fingers, and quickly brings them back to Meren’s entrance before it drips off.