The Christmas Heiress (26 page)

She and Edward shared an irrevocable, unavoidable attraction. He affected her as no other ever
had; he aroused and thrilled and enchanted her.
She had never felt this way with any other man.

And lately she had been wondering if she even
wanted to, but a part of her held back. "Marriage is
such a final step," she said quietly.

"But necessary. What's done is done. "

"Oh, Lord, now you are quoting Shakespeare.
Macbeth, is it not?"

"Yes, Macbeth and true nonetheless." He raked his
hand though his hair. "There is something else,
something important we must consider. The possibility that you are breeding."

Charlotte blanched. "From one time?"

"Yes, a man's seed can take hold from only one
coupling. Though as I recall, it was more than one
time," he concluded smugly. "But that is beside the point. Even if you are not carrying my child, your
virginity is gone, and so are your chances of making
a good marriage."
--- - --- - - - -- -- - - -

Charlotte blinked and rubbed her hand over her
brow. "I am sure there is someone who would
accept me in spite of my lack of virginity."

The earl smirked. "Someone without honor."

"Would you marry a woman who was not a virgin?"

"Obviously, since I want to marry you."

"You were the man who took that prize, so it hardly
counts." She felt impelled to ask again. "Would you
consider marrying a woman who was not a virgin?"

Edward let out his breath on a slow sigh. "I suppose it would depend on the circumstances. A
young widow, for instance."

Charlotte frowned in perplexity. "Her virginity
would have presumably been lost to her deceased
husband, a conventional, acceptable situation.
What if she had never been married and was not a
virgin?"

He paused, giving her a look of bewilderment. "I
would not reject a woman simply on that one fact."

"Thank you for your candor. Your answer proves
my point. I am not totally ruined for all gentlemen.
Therefore, I'd like a bit more time to consider our
situation."

"How much time?"

"A few weeks." His face clouded with displeasure
and Charlotte hastily continued. "We began this
conversation with such civility. Please, let us end it
in the same manner. There is no need to carry on
as though this is a Shakespeare tragedy, though I'm
sure if you think hard enough you can find the appropriate lines and sentiment."

"Now is the winter of our discontent?"He sighed, his
expression still conveying befuddlement. "We must
be sensible, Charlotte."

"Waiting does make sense. If we married now, we
would both be doing so out of a sense of obligation.
I only want to marry a man who truly wants me,
who desires me above all others. It seems so many
of our class spend the majority of their married
lives living apart. I do not wish to join their ranks."

"I am not suggesting that kind of marriage." The
sound of his steps resounded on the carpet as he
moved toward her. "I do not take what happened
between us lightly. I have feelings for you, special
deep feelings."

"Love?"

His face stiffened. "Falling in love has never been
something I have thought about with any serious
consideration. Until now." He bent his head, his
brow pleating in a thoughtful frown. When he raised
his chin and looked again at her, his expression was
solemn. "In the spirit of being honest I admit that I
have far less of a romantic nature than you do. I have
never told any woman that I love her."

"Not even your fiancee?"

"Obviously not." He favored her with a selfdeprecating smile. "She left me and followed her
own heart, marrying a man who was able to give
her what she craved."

"I am sorry."

He looked surprised by her sympathy. "Don't be.
Henrietta made the right choice. I am not even
positive I know what being in love really means."

"A conveniently obtuse answer."

"But honestly given. Far better than a lie told
simply to gain what I want."

Though not surprised by his answer, Charlotte
felt the sting of disappointment. She would settle
for no less than his love, with the declaration freely
given.

"Then our path is very clear. For now we wait and
make no decision about marriage."

"But we continue with our courtship," Edward
stipulated. "You must not run or hide from me as
you did today."

"And you will not enter my bedchamber unless
you are invited."

"Agreed." He stepped closer and curled a hand
over her bare shoulder. `But as long as I am here. . . His voice trailed off seductively.

"You are not being fair when you look at me like
that," she whispered, as a thrill of sexual awareness
shot through her body.

He smiled confidently. "Does that mean you are
saying that I can stay?"

All day Charlotte had been dwelling upon the
enormity of what she had done last night. How she
had changed herself forever. How incredible it had
been and how amazing that when she was with
Edward, everything else just melted away and it was
only the two of them. How she now knew with certainty what she would be missing for the rest of her
life if she never married.

The exquisite sensual delights, the intense emotional connection, the sense of something greater
than herself. The sheer joy, the sheer fun of it all.

Here now was a chance to experience it all again.
Did she dare to be so reckless a second time?

Especially when there was something she had not
thought about last night, which was very much on
her mind right now. Continuing a physical relationship could very well result in her becoming with
child. If that occurred, she would no longer have
any control over her destiny. Her fate would be decided. She would marry the earl.

Would that be so terrible? Marrying Edward made sense.

But maybe that was the problem. People who
were truly in love acted with reckless emotion, not
prudent sensibility. Or was it desire that drowned
out a sensible response?

Edward said nothing. He simply watched her,
gently caressing her shoulder, almost as if he knew
she was struggling with her decision, weighing all the
arguments in her head. Yet oddly, by doing nothing
at all, he was tempting her beyond measure.

They stood in silence for a long moment. "If you
insist that I leave, I shall," he said huskily, "yet I
harbor a fantasy that a lascivious scheme is lurking
in your mind at this exact minute that will soon
become a pleasurable reality for us both."

Charlotte found herself smiling. "I fear you
spend far too much of your time thinking about
sex, my lord."

"Making love, Charlotte," he corrected. "There is
a significant difference." His lashes lowered as he
looked at her mouth.

Charlotte drew in a sharp breath. She brought
her palm up between them and pressed it flat
against his chest to prevent him from leaning forward and kissing her, for her mind turned to pure
sensation and her wits scattered to the winds whenever that happened.

"I trust that you are telling me the truth about the
difference between sex and making love," she said.

"I am." His eyes crinkled with concern. "If I felt it
were necessary, warranted, then I might omit the
entire truth on occasion. But I will never lie to you,
Charlotte."

"The sin of omission is as great a sin as a lie."

His eyebrow arched. "Twisting the truth is a sin.

Withholding information to spare and protect the
feelings of someone you care for is the duty of a
gentleman. Given the choice, I will always endeavor
to protect you."

She believed him. In light of their past, it was a
big step, she realized, to take him at his word, to acknowledge that his heart was true. It was also an
alarming as well as enthralling occurrence. "I appreciate your honesty, Edward."

"May I stay?"

She could hear the naked longing in his voice,
but more important, she saw a reassuring hint of
emotion on his face. He did care for her, perhaps
with the same level of caution and restraint she
cared for him.

Hardly ideal, but far more than she had shared with
any other man. Her lips curled into a sultry smile
worthy of a courtesan. Blood was pounding hotly
through her veins, but her mind was still functioning.

"There is still the risk of creating a child," she
said, hardly believing she had the courage to discuss such an incredibly indelicate subject with him.

He nodded. "There are ways to prevent such
things from occurring."

"Devices?" she queried, having once overheard
bits of a conversation between two married women
that had raised far more questions in Charlotte's
mind than they had answered.

"Yes." It took him a moment to recover his voice.
"However, I do not have any of those with me."

"Can you get them?"

He cleared his throat again. "They are hardly the
items one asks for as a Christmas present."

"Edward! "

"I'm sorry. 'Tis just that you look so solemn."

"This is a serious conversation," she insisted.

"It is," he agreed. "'Tis also highly unusual."

Her face flamed, though she agreed with his observation. "Then perhaps it is best if we simply
forget the matter entirely." She turned, but he
grabbed her hand, stopping her from walking away.

"There are other ways to prevent conception," he
said. "I can withdraw. There is still risk, but it is far
less if the man pulls out before his seed is released.
Do you understand?"

The blush on her face deepened as disjointed
thoughts about the mechanics of it all flew through
her mind. "I think so, though I am unsure exactly
how it would work."

He bent his head and placed his cheek against
hers. "Leave that to me, all right?"

Charlotte sighed. The feelings were starting
again, where her breath was tight and her heartbeat quickened and her skin tingled all over. She
let her eyes flutter shut and bowed her head until
it rested against his chest, taking two steps closer
when she felt his strong arms embrace her.

She was a fortunate person who had been given
many material blessings, had received parental love
from a kindly grandfather who adored her. But
losing her parents at an early age had taught her a
very important lesson.

Life was fleeting, joy could be stripped from you
without warning, leaving you to regret those moments when you allowed those opportunities for
sheer pleasure to slip away.

"I enjoy making love with you, Edward," Charlotte confessed, just before she wrapped her arms around his neck, lifted her head and gave him a
hungry, openmouthed kiss.

He made a sound of surprise against her mouth,
but then his arms tightened their embrace and he
angled his head and deepened the kiss, his tongue
teasing hers. His hands shifted, one splaying over
her back below her waist, the other dropping lower
to cup her buttocks and pull her closer.

The excitement Charlotte felt increased as her
body heated. She lifted herself higher so that his
erection rested against the top of her thighs, sliding
her body up and down, mimicking the act of love.

She clutched at the lapels of his evening coat, fists
clenching tight. Driven by the urge to get closer, she
pressed herself against him. It felt so right. Everything
else faded to insignificance. Once again, nothing else
in the world mattered, except the two of them.

His fingers found the buttons at the back of her
gown and with impressive dexterity he unfastened
her bodice and pushed the top of her gown from
her shoulders. He muttered a few choice words beneath his breath as he struggled with the laces of
her corset, but eventually they too were freed and
the undergarment thrown carelessly to the floor.

She stood shivering in the cool of the room, covered only by the thin silk of her chemise. He made
a sound of appreciation deep in his throat and
Charlotte smiled, no longer aware of the cold.

She eased his evening coat from his broad shoulders, attacked the knot of his cravat, gleefully
pulling the starched white linen free. She unbuttoned the top of his shirt and saw the pulse beat at
the base of his neck moving furiously, a mirror of
her own frantically beating heart.

Charlotte bent forward and kissed the spot, then
flicked it with the tip of her tongue. Edward responded hotly to her advance, cradling her head
with the palm of one hand, holding her steady so
he could ravish her with his mouth. He kissed her,
fiercely and passionately, thrusting his tongue into
her mouth in a pulsating rhythm while his other
hand traced the line of her waist, down to her hip
and beyond to her upper thigh.

jolts of sensations coursed through her. Charlotte's body throbbed with a heated urgency that
made her eager for his searching hands. His fingertips touched her breasts through the thin fabric of
her chemise, brushing back and forth over the
hardened nipples. Pleasure flared wherever he
stroked, pleasure that made her gasp and shiver
with excitement. She caught her lip between her
teeth to repress a strangled moan.

"Don't hold back," he gasped. "I want to hear
every sound."
-- - --- - - - - - - - -

He lowered his head and caught her nipple in his
mouth and suckled it. Charlotte's hands grasped his
hair and pulled him closer. Understanding her
need, he tugged harder with his mouth and then his
hand came up to embrace her other breast, teasing
the rigid tip between his thumb and forefinger.

The
sensations
were
overwhelming.
She
was
throbbing inside her body, but he seemed to know exactly
what she was feeling, exactly what she needed. His
hands moved between her thighs and he lifted her
thin silk chemise. He stroked between the folds of
her most sensitive flesh, and Charlotte pulled in a
deep breath, then pushed against his fingers.