The Christmas Hope (11 page)
Read The Christmas Hope Online
Authors: Donna VanLiere
“Then she’ll stay,” I finally said. “But aren’t you working on Christmas Day?”
His back was still to me. “No. I rearranged my schedule yesterday.” He continued to straighten the sweater.
I wanted to say something, I wanted to touch Mark, I wanted to help him with that stupid sweater or do anything that would keep us talking but I didn’t know what to do so I walked into the hallway, closed the laundry room door, and went downstairs.
There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.
—Leonard Cohen
E
mily was asleep on the sofa. Girl lifted her head when I walked into the living room. “Shh,” I said, motioning for her to lie back down. The phone rang and I ran for it. “Hello?”
mily was asleep on the sofa. Girl lifted her head when I walked into the living room. “Shh,” I said, motioning for her to lie back down. The phone rang and I ran for it. “Hello?”
“You never answered my question,” Roy said.
“What question?”
“Do you want to come over here for Christmas dinner?”
I paused before I answered. “I can’t.”
“Why not?” It sounded like he was eating.
“Because Mark’s going to be home.” The chewing stopped.
“Well, that’s good because we weren’t going to have enough food anyway.”
I laughed.
“Do you still have your little one?”
I told him I did and that we planned to keep her through Christmas. If Roy thought that was a bad idea he kept it to himself.
“I’m going to watch Jasmine tonight so my daughter and son-in-law can get some shopping done. Do you think your clan would be up for pizza?”
“I’ll need to ask Emily but she’s sleeping right now. It’d just be Emily and me tonight. Mark’s working.” If Emily was up for it, we agreed to meet after I took her to the hospital to visit Mia. I peeked in on Emily. She had to be exhausted. So much had happened in one day.
Find a home for her
, I prayed, watching her sleep.
Please find a home where parents will love her
. Mark was right. Everybody needed a break. I sat down in the den and picked up a magazine. I was asleep before I finished the first sentence.
Find a home for her
, I prayed, watching her sleep.
Please find a home where parents will love her
. Mark was right. Everybody needed a break. I sat down in the den and picked up a magazine. I was asleep before I finished the first sentence.
An hour later I jumped awake. Emily and Girl were staring at me. “Girl was dreaming and she woke me up,” Emily said. “She was growling and whining because she was chasing another dog.”
“She was?”
“Yeah. She was chasing another dog because he was taking away her bone.”
I smiled at her. Her hair was a mess and her sweatshirt was bunched up over her belly button. Somewhere along the way her sweatpants had been lost and all that was left was her pink Winnie the Pooh panties.
I reached out and held her hand between both of mine. “Emily, would you like to stay with us through Christmas?”
“Can I?” Her voice sounded relieved.
“Yes.”
“Can Greta and Hal come, too?”
“That would be great.”
She lifted onto her toes and Girl nudged her with her nose. “Are we going to the hospital now?”
“Yes.”
She pulled on my hand and I got up from the chair. The doorbell rang.
It was Mom. I walked to the back door and heard her before I saw her. She was wearing a red cardigan covered with tiny bells so she jingled when she walked. “I tried calling several times but there wasn’t an answer,” Mom said, leading Dad inside. She saw Emily and raised her hand to wave. “Hi, there. I’m Charlotte. Patricia’s mom.” She leaned down toward Emily. “What’s your name?”
“Emily.”
Mom threw her head back. “Oh, what a pretty name! You know, Emily was one of the names I had picked out for Patricia. Isn’t that funny? And you know what? You’re just as pretty as your name. Isn’t she, Les?”
Dad moved in next to Mom and smiled. “Prettier,” he said. “How old are you?”
Emily held up five fingers.
“Five! That’s the best age of all.” Mom and Dad knew enough about my work not to ask Emily any personal questions beyond that.
“We took Mia to the hospital because she’s sick,” Emily said.
“Oh?” Mom looked at me.
“One of my cases,” I said.
“And we’re going to see her now,” she said, pulling on the pair of cotton sweatpants she had abandoned in the living room. She hoisted them over the sweatshirt and I smiled. She looked like a little old man.
“We won’t keep you,” Mom said. “I was just wondering if you’ve thought about going to see the living Nativity.” I didn’t do it but I wanted to roll my eyes. I thought I’d made it clear that Mark and I wouldn’t go to that.
“I don’t think we’ll do that,” I said.
“Can I go?” Emily asked.
I knew I’d been beaten. “Yes, you can go with us,” I said. I tried to usher Mom and Dad to the door.
“Do you want to see the tree?” Emily asked. Mom looked toward our backyard assuming the tree Emily spoke of was back there. Emily took her hand and led her to the living room. I could see by the look on Mom and Dad’s face that they were surprised, to say the least.
Emily ran to plug in the lights. “Now my mom can see it.”
Mom looked at me and understood why I had Emily. “What a beautiful tree,” she said, clapping her hands together. “Did you decorate it all by yourself?”
“Nope. Patricia helped and Mark did the branches way up high.”
Mom was even more surprised now that she knew Mark had helped us. She didn’t know what to think.
“There will be all sorts of gifts under here for Christmas and me and Mark and Patricia and Greta and Hal will open them.” She looked up at my mom. “You can come, too.”
I nodded. There. It was settled. Christmas would be at our house this year. Mom contained her excitement but I knew she was about to burst because the bells on her sweater practically rang out a tune as she bounced toward the door. She and Dad left and I tried to imagine the conversation they were having in the car.
Nathan Andrews leaned down and whispered into the sleeping ear of his tiny patient. “You did great, Mia,” he said, stroking her arm. “What a strong girl you are.” The procedure was over and with the exception of a few cries before it began, everything went as planned. Once Dr. Andrews ran catheters to Mia’s heart he performed an ablation, selecting one of the catheters to deliver a series of short impulses to the tissue of the heart to rid it of the irregular beat. “Thanks for your help,” Dr. Andrews said to the staff assisting him. He ran his finger over Mia’s cheek. “She thanks you, too.”
We found Sandra in the waiting room. “Has anybody given you an update or anything?” I asked.
“A nurse came out an hour ago and said they finished. She said it went well and asked me to wait for the doctor.” So that’s what we did. We waited, three people who really didn’t know Mia but would do anything for her. It was several minutes before Dr. Andrews appeared. He smiled and Sandra and I felt relief.
“She’s doing great,” he said. “Strong heartbeat, great pulse. She’s feisty.”
“She’s had to be,” I said.
“Well, hello, Emily,” he said, kneeling in front of her. “Mia will be very happy to see you.”
Emily smiled and squeezed my hand. “Did you fix her heart?” she asked.
“I think so. In a little while she’ll be just as big and strong and pretty as you.”
Emily beamed. I think she was having her first crush.
“How long will she need to be here?” Sandra asked.
“A few days. We’ll need to keep an eye on her.”
“We’ll watch her, too,” Emily said.
“Well, I’ll make sure that the staff knows to give you anything you need,” Dr. Andrews said. “Lollipops, balloons, you name it.”
A nurse at the desk called for Dr. Andrews. “It’s your wife,” she said.
“Excuse me,” he said. “She’s pregnant so I never know! I’ll have one of the nurses show you where Mia is sleeping.” We followed the nurse as Dr. Andrews took his call.
“Was that Patricia Addison?” a nurse asked when Dr. Andrews hung up the phone.
“Yes,” he said.
“I haven’t seen her since her son’s funeral.”
Dr. Andrews put a clipboard on top of the desk. “When did her son die?”
“Four or five years ago. He was driving home from college for Christmas and fell asleep at the wheel.” A physician interrupted before Dr. Andrews could hear the rest of the story. He picked up his paperwork and walked toward his office. It had been a long day; he was ready to go home.
We walked into the room where Mia was sleeping. Her tiny body was dwarfed among a tangle of tubes and wires. Emily gasped when she saw her. “She’s all right, Emily,” I said. “All that stuff just makes it look worse than it is.”
A nurse stood at the side of the bed and smiled. “You can come closer,” she said to Emily.
Emily stepped toward the bed and looked at Mia. “Can I hold her hand?”
The nurse nodded. “Just be very gentle so you don’t move her.” It wasn’t a comfortable reach, the bed was slightly taller than Emily, but she slid two fingers into Mia’s palm and stood still, watching her breathe.
“How long will she sleep?” Sandra said.
“It wouldn’t be unusual if she slept throughout the night,” the nurse said. “This was a big day for her,” she said, patting Mia’s leg.
“We should go so Mia can rest,” I said to Emily.
She nodded and looked at Mia’s face as if she was searching for something. She held her gaze and then squeezed her fingers around Mia’s hand.
“Okay, we can go now,” she said.
“I’ll come back first thing in the morning,” Sandra said.
“We will, too,” Emily said. We said good bye in the parking lot and I helped Emily into the backseat. I buckled her in and moved her hair out of her face.
“You’ve had a busy day,” I said. “Are you sure you want to go out for pizza tonight?”
She nodded.
I kissed her forehead and got behind the wheel of the car. I watched in the mirror as she looked out the window toward the sky. Was she straining to see her mother? Was she hoping she’d catch a glimpse of her through the clouds? I wondered what she was thinking but didn’t ask. I had grown to hate all the questions I was asked after Sean’s death.
I saw Roy’s car as I pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. I parked beside it and laughed to myself. His car hadn’t been clean since he’d become a grandfather. The backseat was littered with coloring books, Legos, toy soldiers, ground Cheerios, and a naked baby doll. I held Emily’s hand and walked through the front door looking for Roy and Barbara. I spotted Roy trying to throw a small red ball into a configuration of rings twenty feet in front of him. The smallest and most difficult ring to throw into was worth fifty points. After four pitches he managed to win a measly forty points, not enough for a prize. Six-year-old Jasmine threw a ball and it fell through the hole of the secondbiggest ring, earning her twenty points. She jumped and squealed and braids all over her head bounced up and down. Roy high-fived her and saw us watching at the door. He waved us over and stretched out his hand toward Emily.
“You must be Emily,” he said. “I’m Roy and this is my granddaughter, Jasmine, and this is my friend, Barbara.” He took out a handful of gold tokens from his pocket and handed them to Emily. “Would you like to throw the balls, too?”
She nodded.
He slid a coin into a slot and four balls rolled toward Emily. “You can keep these tokens and play whatever you want.”
Emily threw a ball and missed the rings. She threw another one and missed again. Jasmine stepped in to give pointers and when Emily threw again she earned ten points. She turned to look at me and I cheered. Roy and Barbara and I sat at a nearby table.
“She’s a doll,” Barbara said, watching Emily. Barbara was a tall, striking woman with high cheekbones and gray streaked hair. She and Roy had been dating for so long that his grandkids called her Grandma and she loved it. “So Mark is home this year, Patti?” she asked.
I swirled a napkin on the table in front of me. “Yes. For the first time in years we’ll be having Christmas at our house.” I put my face in my hands and shook my head.
Barbara leaned over the table and patted my arm. “Everything will go fine. Trust me, nobody remembers flat dinner rolls or greasy gravy. They just remember being together.”
I nodded. “Our problem is we’re not so good at being together anymore.”
“Emily doesn’t know that,” Barbara said.
Emily came to the table and I smiled. “Can I go play that game over there?” she said, pointing to a small basketball hoop. I told her she could and Jasmine grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the other side of the restaurant.
“She’s a sweet girl,” Barbara said. “Do you have a foster home for her yet?”
“After Christmas,” I said. “Mark said that everybody needs a break once in a while.”
“Mark’s right,” Roy said. It made me feel better knowing that Roy was on my side. “We’ll have Greta over, the lady who watched her quite a bit, and try to let her have a normal Christmas.” Jasmine yelled for Barbara and Barbara ducked as if being struck from behind.
“Lord, that child has a set of lungs on her,” she said, getting up from the table. Jasmine yelled again and Barbara held onto her head as if it would blow away. “Yell one more time. I don’t think Canada heard you,” she said, walking toward the girls. The waitress came and Roy ordered a large and small pizza and a pitcher of Sprite.
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