The Circle (51 page)

She sinks on to a chair and Gustaf is immediately wolfing down his food. Minoo picks cautiously at her tuna. She wonders where Vanessa has positioned herself in the kitchen. Has she already poured the serum over Gustaf’s food? Will he be able to taste it? How will it affect him? Is there a non-human part of him that will realise and react? Does he already know what they’re planning?

Minoo aims at a lettuce leaf. She folds it laboriously with her knife and fork, then stabs the fork through the little green package. She raises it to her mouth, opens and then, as she’d known it would, the lettuce leaf unravels and vinaigrette dribbles down her chin.

She’s sure she hears Vanessa stifle a giggle, and Gustaf grins at her. ‘I always do that,’ Minoo says.

‘I’m the same,’ Gustaf says. ‘You should see me eating tacos.’

She wonders if he’s lying to make her feel better. She’s never seen Gustaf do anything clumsy. ‘But tacos don’t count,’ she says. ‘That’s a dish with built-in humiliation.’

Gustaf laughs. ‘Rebecka said you were funny.’

And then she sees an ever so faint ripple appear on Gustaf’s cola. Vanessa has poured in the serum.

‘I was so happy when you said you wanted to meet,’ Gustaf says. ‘You and I knew Rebecka better than anyone. It somehow feels important that we keep in touch. You know what I mean?’

‘Yes,’ Minoo answers. She has to force herself not to stare at Gustaf’s glass.

‘She often talked about you,’ he says.

He raises his glass to his mouth and takes a few sips. Minoo forces herself to drink a little from her own. Don’t stare, she thinks. Don’t give yourself away by staring.

‘Do you think the cola tastes strange?’ Gustaf says.

Here it comes. Here it comes.

‘No.’ Minoo shakes her head firmly and takes a few extra sips for good measure.

‘I’ve only just opened it,’ he says thoughtfully. Then he shrugs his shoulders. ‘I hope I’m not coming down with flu. Everything tastes strange when I’m getting ill.’ And with that he knocks back the whole glass.

Holy shit! Minoo almost blurts. It’s as if she’s paralysed, expecting Gustaf to fall off his chair, clawing at his throat. ‘I feel a bit dizzy,’ he says.

Minoo swallows. ‘Maybe we should go to your room,’ she suggests.

Gustaf looks confused. ‘So you can lie down for a bit,’ she says.

‘Maybe you’re right.’

His voice is toneless, but he gets up.

My God, Minoo thinks. Ida didn’t react like that. What if we’ve given him too much?

She hears footsteps coming up the basement steps, heavy and quick. Minoo’s thoughts run wild. Where does Gustaf keep his doppelganger hidden all day –and what better place to put a doppelganger than in your basement? Maybe his
dad
is in on it, or maybe he’s even masterminded the whole thing –or else it’s just a big mistake and both Gustaf and his father are innocent but Minoo has given Gustaf a fatal dose of a magic potion.

Minoo flies out of her chair and puts her arm around Gustaf, who looks as if he’s about to faint.

The basement door opens and Gustaf’s father steps out.

‘I was going to ask if you’d made enough food for me …’ Lage starts, but then he catches sight of Gustaf. ‘Are you all right, Gurra? You look pale.’

‘I felt dizzy but now I’m fine.’

Lage walks over and lays a hand on Gustaf’s forehead. ‘You’re not warm anyway.’

‘Minoo thinks I should lie down for a bit,’ Gustaf says.

‘Maybe he overdid it at practice.’ Minoo turns to Gustaf. ‘Come on, let’s go up to your room.’

Lage looks at Gustaf with concern. ‘Come and fetch me if he gets any worse. I’ll be down here.’

‘Yes, you will,’ Gustaf says.

‘My mother’s a doctor,’ Minoo jabbers. ‘The flu going around is pretty nasty. It hits you out of nowhere and you’re as sick as dog.’ Minoo takes Gustaf’s arm and lets him show her the way to his room on the second floor.

‘Can you turn on the light?’ she asks, as they enter the darkened room.

‘Yes,’ he answers, and collapses on to his bed with a heavy thud.

It takes Minoo a second to pick up on it – it’s like when
little
kids are trying to be funny and answer exactly what you ask them, no more.

‘Where’s the switch?’ Minoo asks.

‘To the right of the door.’

She turns on the ceiling light. The bed that Gustaf is lying on is unmade. Otherwise the room is tidy.

On the wall beside the bed there’s a photo of Rebecka and Gustaf. Their faces fill the frame so it’s impossible to determine where it was taken. You can only tell from the light that it was shot outside. They look happy. At that particular hundredth of a second that the camera captured, they had no idea of what was in store for them.

Gustaf may have known, she reminds herself. Far from depicting a happy couple, it may be of a murderer and his victim.

She feels a gentle shove. It’s not hard to interpret. Vanessa thinks Minoo should get a move on – and she’s right. Who knows how long the serum will last. A drop lasted about a minute with Ida. Minoo has worked out that they ought to have at least ten minutes but they’ve already lost some time. And Gustaf is bigger than Ida.

Minoo sits on the edge of the bed. The list of questions she’s prepared is in her jeans pocket. She leaves it there. ‘Did you love Rebecka?’

‘Yes,’ Gustaf answers, without hesitation. ‘More than anything else in the world.’

‘When you were at her grave, you asked for her forgiveness.’

Gustaf nods and a tear trickles from the corner of his eye,
continues
along his temple and disappears into his blond hair. He’s lying completely still, looking at Minoo with a frightened expression.

‘Did you have anything to do with her death?’

‘Yes,’ he answers.

Minoo’s blood runs cold. ‘Tell me about it,’ she forces herself to say.

‘It was my fault. Everyone said Rebecka had an eating disorder, but I was too much of a coward to ask her straight out. I didn’t want to upset her, and I didn’t want her to think I was hassling her. I never realised how serious it was. I should have spoken to her about it.’

He continues looking at Minoo with big, frightened eyes.

‘You think Rebecka killed herself, don’t you?’ she says.

The question seems to confuse him. ‘Yes,’ he says. ‘She jumped from the roof of the school. It was my fault. If I had been a better boyfriend, it would never have happened.’

Minoo glances at the photo and wonders if Rebecka can see them. She hopes not because she feels so ashamed of what she’s doing.

‘Were you up on the roof with her?’ she asks.

‘I was waiting for her downstairs. She was having her meeting with the principal.’

He lays a hand on Minoo’s arm. His fingers are cold. ‘I hoped the principal would talk to her about her eating disorder. Maybe get her to open up about it, so I wouldn’t have to. I was such a coward.’

‘Have you done anything special this autumn? Have you contacted anyone?’

‘What do you mean?’

Minoo feels another impatient shove, a reminder that time is running out. ‘Have you been in contact with any demons?’

He looks confused. Like a child who’s been asked a far too grown-up question.

‘Have you engaged in any supernatural activities?’ Minoo continues.

‘No.’

It’s clear he has no idea what she’s talking about.

‘You may not even know about it. Think for a second. Has anything strange happened?’

He shakes his head.

‘Do you ever hear a voice inside your head telling you to do things?’

He shakes his head again.

‘What’s the first thing that comes into your mind when I say “blood-red moon”?’

‘Blood orange.’

‘Do you have a doppelganger?’

‘No,’ he says weakly. ‘I don’t think so.’

‘I can’t handle this,’ Vanessa says.

Minoo understands how she feels. To see Gustaf so afraid and vulnerable is almost more than she can bear. It’s like something out of the Spanish inquisition. But she has another question, and she can only hope Gustaf won’t say anything about the kiss because, unlike him, Vanessa won’t forget everything afterwards.

‘Did you follow me into town one day and then meet me by the viaduct?’

‘No.’

‘I met you there, and we … spoke. Do you remember that?’

‘No.’

‘And yet you were at the cemetery. That was when you visited Rebecka’s grave for the first time. You were in two places at once. How was that possible?’

Gustaf shakes his head. ‘I don’t understand,’ he says. ‘Your questions are so strange.’

Minoo can’t take it any more. She tries to coax his fingers from her arm, but he’s holding it in an iron grip. She strokes them gently, hoping that will calm him.

It works. His grip loosens and she gets up.

‘I’m sorry,’ she says.

‘What are you saying sorry about?’

‘All of this.’

‘I like you, Minoo,’ he says.

‘I like you, too,’ she says, and discovers she means it. ‘I wish I could tell you how Rebecka died, but it wasn’t your fault.’

‘Minoo, what are you doing?’ Vanessa whispers.

But Minoo ignores her. It’s very easy to ignore someone who’s invisible. ‘I want to ask you to try to remember one thing.’ Minoo says. ‘Try to remember it somewhere deep inside you. Can you promise you’ll try?’

‘I promise I’ll try,’ Gustaf says.

‘It wasn’t your fault. Rebecka loved you.’

Fresh tears well in Gustaf’s eyes and Minoo nods, trying to ingrain it into his subconscious. ‘She would never have left you of her own accord,’ she says.

Gustaf smiles cautiously. ‘I’m tired,’ he says.

‘You should sleep for a while.’

Gustaf shuts his eyes and Minoo and Vanessa stay in the room until he’s dropped off. Then they sneak out, careful not to wake him.

51

VANESSA HAS HAD
a long shower, and she still doesn’t feel clean. When she and Minoo had separated, they had agreed that they would never reveal what Gustaf had said to anyone. They texted the others that they were sure Gustaf wasn’t the killer, and that he didn’t know about his doppelganger. Nothing more. The rest is nobody else’s business. Not even theirs. That’s why she feels so dirty. She never wants to rummage around in someone’s innermost thoughts again.

Now she’ almost inhaling the sausage stew Sirpa has made for dinner. Vanessa is on her second helping, but her hunger shows no signs of abating. As always when she’s been invisible, her body craves nourishment. And lots of it.

‘Slow down, Nessa,’ Wille says, and has a hard time not laughing.

‘Mind your own business,’ she says, her mouth full of rice drenched in tomato sauce.

‘You’ll end up weighing a tonne if you go on like that.’

‘And I’ll still be better-looking than you.’ She pours more milk and downs it in three gulps.

Sirpa watches them nervously.

‘Sorry I’m gobbling it,’ Vanessa says. ‘It’s just so delicious. As usual.’

‘Good,’ Sirpa replies.

She looks as if she means it, but Vanessa knows it must be difficult for her to have another mouth to feed. Especially such an unusually voracious one. Of course Vanessa gives Sirpa half of her student allowance each month, but it won’t cover much. ‘Thanks so much for dinner,’ she says, and swallows a last piece of sausage.

She starts clearing the table. She’s too restless to sit still. When Sirpa stands up, Vanessa tells her to go and watch TV. Sirpa smiles gratefully and disappears into the living room. Wille stays where he is, rocking back on his chair as he sticks a bag of tobacco under his lip.

Vanessa piles the dirty dishes on the counter and fills the sink with water. Then she starts to scrub the plates with the brush. The water is so hot that beads of sweat pop out on her forehead. It’s good to concentrate on something mundane.

Suddenly she feels a pair of hands slide around her waist.

‘You know,’ Wille says, kissing her neck. ‘I saw an ad for a cheap trip to Thailand in a few weeks.’

‘I’ll still be at school.’

Thailand, Thailand, Thailand. He’s been harping on about Thailand for months.

‘Fuck school,’ Wille mumbles. ‘Let’s go. I think I can get some money from Jonte.’

She sidesteps to escape his hands. But they’re on her again and she shakes them off, more firmly this time.

‘What’s the matter?’ he asks.

‘Can’t you leave me alone for one second?’

‘Why are you so grumpy?’

‘And why are you stuck to me like a frigging Band Aid all the time?’

He remains behind her. She feels his irritation radiating out from him.

‘I just want a cuddle,’ he says.

‘And I want to be left alone. Is that so difficult to understand?’