The Color of Hope (The Color of Heaven Series) (24 page)

I took another deep breath and counted to ten. “Dr. Reynolds is just as good, and they’ll work together as a team.”

“Didn’t you hear me? I said
no
.”

My head drew back at the firm note of command in her voice. She was a guest in my home. I was doing everything humanly possible to help her, despite the fact that she had betrayed me and broken up my last relationship. Now she had the nerve to tell me I wasn’t permitted to see a man I was falling in love with?

“Are you forgetting that I’m the one who found Dr. Peterson in the first place?” I asked. “I made all the calls and all the arrangements. I paid for your travel to come here to Boston. I could just as easily have chosen Dr. Reynolds for you, and you would have been perfectly fine with that. You’re only digging your heels in now because you don’t want me to have any more advantages. Any more happiness. You think I’ve had more than my share, and that anything good from now on should go to
you
.”

“What if I said
yes,
it should be my turn now,” she replied.

I honestly didn’t know what to say to that.

She shook her head at me. “You have everything, Diana, and I’ve had nothing – or whatever I did have was taken away. I lost my dad, my mom, Rick, and I even lost you. The only truly good thing that’s happened to me is this baby, so I’m not going to apologize for getting pregnant. I don’t care if you were hurt by it. I want this child. She’s all I’ve got, and if I’m going to survive long enough to raise her, I need a damn good doctor.”

For a long moment, I stood there in shock, staring at her. Then I slowly began to back out of her room. “You’ll have one,” I said, gripping the doorknob to gently close the door behind me. “And his name is Dr. Reynolds.”

M
Y ALARM WENT
off at 4:30, well before sunrise. At least I thought it was my alarm when my eyes fluttered open and I sat up groggily in bed.

In actuality it was only 3:00 a.m. I must have been dreaming.

I pushed my hair away from my face and listened through the silence. Then I heard it again –
the sound of Nadia’s voice, calling my name.

Tossing the covers aside, I leaped out of bed and ran barefoot to her room. “What is it?”

Her lamp was on, and she was sitting up against a pile of pillows. “It’s happening again,” she said. “I woke up because I couldn’t breathe.”

I was still half asleep, and it took me a second to comprehend what she was saying.

“Can you call Dr. Peterson? she asked. “I think it’s my heart again. You said he lives in our neighborhood.”

“Maybe I should call 911,” I replied, thinking we were going to need an ambulance.

“No, please call Dr. Peterson. He can get here faster, right?”

Warning bells went off in my brain. She knew I was supposed to go fishing with Jacob at dawn. Was this an act? Was she just trying to prevent me from going? Or was I crazy to think so?

She was pasty white and perspiring, so I ran back to my room to grab my phone. With trembling fingers, I found Jacob’s home number and called it. He answered after two rings.

“Jacob? It’s Diana.”

“Hey. Is something wrong?”

“Yes, it’s Nadia. She can’t breathe very well and she thinks she might be in heart failure.”

“Hang up and call 911 right away,” he said. “Then unlock your front door. I’ll be there in three minutes.”

True to his word, Jacob made it to our house in three minutes flat and came bounding up the stairs. “Where are you?”

“In here!” I called out to him. I was sitting on the edge of Nadia’s bed, holding her hand when he appeared in the doorway wearing black pyjama bottoms and a gray sweatshirt. He carried a black canvas backpack.

I quickly got out of his way so he could take my place at Nadia’s side.

“How are you doing?” he asked in a friendly, relaxed manner – as if everything was completely under control. I could have hugged him.

Nadia put her hand over her chest. “Not good. I can’t breathe. It feels just like last time.”

He looked up at me. “Did you call 911?”

“Yes, they’re on their way.”

He reached into his medical bag and withdrew a stethoscope and a blood pressure cuff, which he wrapped around Nadia’s upper arm. “Everything’s going to be fine,” he said as he placed the ear buds in his ears. “Just try to relax.”

He squeezed the rubber ball a number of times in quick succession to inflate the cuff. Nadia and I were very quiet while he listened to the pulse in the crook of her arm and watched the dial.

The Velcro on the cuff ripped noisily when he removed it.

“My baby,” Nadia said. “Is she all right? I haven’t felt her move or kick since this started.”

Jacob placed the stethoscope on top of her belly. Closing his eyes to listen, he moved it from one spot to another. The tension was thick in the room while we waited forever for him to say something.

At last his eyes opened. “Everything’s fine. She must be sleeping. It’s the middle of the night, you know,” he said to Nadia with a hint of humor, which helped her to relax.

“Do you mind if I check your legs?” He rose to his feet and pulled the covers aside.

I was surprised to see how swollen Nadia’s legs were. I didn’t think that was normal, not even for a pregnant woman. Jacob made no comment. He simply covered Nadia back up and sat down beside her. “The ambulance will be here any minute.”

Just then, I saw the glow of flashing lights through the window. I ran downstairs to open the front door.

N
ATURALLY
, I
BLAMED
myself for Nadia’s heart troubles that night. It was the stress of our argument that caused it, I believed. I wished I could take it back, but all I could do was sit in the hospital waiting area, whispering quiet prayers that everything would be okay.

It had been almost two hours since the paramedics wheeled Nadia out of my house on a stretcher. I followed the ambulance in my car, while Jacob rode in the back with her. When we arrived at the hospital, he promised to keep me updated about her condition, but he hadn’t come out to see me yet, and I was growing anxious.

Slouching down in the chair, I tipped my head back against the wall and closed my eyes.

Maybe I dozed off. I’m not sure.

“Diana...”

I jumped, startled by a hand on my shoulder, shaking me. I opened my eyes to discover Jacob, dressed in a pair of OR greens, standing over me.

Instantly alert, I sat up. “How is she?”

“Not well, I’m afraid.” He took a seat. “She’s in intensive care right now because she went into cardiac failure again. There’s a lot of extra fluid in her lungs and we’re trying to get rid of that. We’re doing everything we can to stabilize her.”

“What about the baby?”

“I’ve been talking to the obstetrician,” he explained, “and the baby’s heart has deep decelerations, which means it’s slowing down for long periods of time, and we’re worried about that. Bottom line is the baby has to come out. Nadia needs a section as soon as possible, but she also needs to be stable. It’s a balancing act.”

I buried my face in my hands. “Oh, God. This my all fault. We had an argument tonight.”

“It’s not your fault,” he assured me, squeezing my shoulder. “Her heart’s in bad shape. Anything could have brought this on. The good news is, the baby’s at thirty-two weeks now, so she has a good chance.”

“But what about Nadia?” I asked. “How can she survive the surgery if her heart is that weak?”

A nurse came through a set of double doors and hurried toward us. She looked panicked.

“Dr. Peterson, we need you.”

He stood up to go, but stopped and turned back briefly to say, “If there are any friends or family you feel should be here, you should call them now.”

I stared at him in shock. Then he started running, and disappeared through the double doors to the ICU.

F
IRST
I
SAID
a prayer. I ran to the hospital chapel, got down on my knees, and pleaded with God to help Nadia through this. I made promises and bargains.

Then I called my parents in Washington and asked them to call Becky and Adam. Finally, I scrolled through my list of contacts and found Rick’s number. I wasn’t sure if Nadia would want me to call him, but he was the baby’s father, and I felt he deserved to know what was going on.

“Hello?” he answered, sounding half asleep.

“Hi Rick. It’s Diana.” When he didn’t say anything for a few seconds, I added, “Diana
Moore
.”

God, was this really necessary
?

“Yeah... yeah,” he mumbled. “I know. I’m sorry, it’s the middle of the night here. What’s going on?”

I stood up and paced slowly around the waiting room. “I wasn’t sure if I should call you or not,” I said, “but Nadia’s not doing well. Did you know she’s been having heart troubles?”

“No,” he replied. “What kind of troubles?”

Feeling exhausted suddenly, I covered my forehead with a hand and pushed my hair away from my face. “She caught a virus which caused damage to her heart. The condition is called myocarditis, and things are pretty serious right now. I’m calling from Mass General, and they’re about to do a C-section to get the baby out, but Nadia’s in bad shape.”

“Will she be all right?” he asked.

I hesitated. “I don’t know. It’s not looking good, but I don’t want to lose hope.”

He was quiet for a long time. “Should I come out there?”

I thought about it. Carefully.

“No,” I replied. “That’s not necessary. Unless you want to. I just thought you should know what was happening.”

If he had insisted on coming, I certainly wouldn’t have stopped him, but he merely said, “Okay. I appreciate the call. I hope she’ll be all right. Will you let me know?”

“Yes.”

I was about to end the call, but he wouldn’t let me go.

“
Wait
, Diana...” There was a note of desperation in his voice. “What about the baby? I mean, if anything happens to Nadia...”

I knew in that moment that he was not concerned for Nadia’s welfare, or the baby’s. He was worried about his own personal freedom and what responsibilities might fall to him if Nadia didn’t make it through the C-section.

“Relax,” I said. “I’ve already agreed to become the child’s legal guardian in the event of Nadia’s death. She signed a new will a number of weeks ago.”

I could just picture him letting out a huge breath of relief.

“I suppose you took care of that for her,” he mentioned.

“Yes.”

I had nothing more to say to him.

“That was good of you. You’re a good sister.” He paused. “Look, I’m sorry about everything.”

I wondered if there was a new woman in the bed beside him, listening to the conversation, and was comforted by the fact that I genuinely didn’t care.

“I know,” I replied, “but that’s all in the past now. I really need to go.”

“Okay. Take care, Diana.”

“You too.”

I ended the call and sat in silence for a long while, staring at the wall.

About a half an hour later, Jacob emerged from a different set of double doors and walked toward me. He looked exhausted and shaken, and there was blood splattered on his OR greens. I stood up and immediately burst into tears.

J
ACOB PUT HIS
arms around me. He held me tight, and stroked my hair while I wept on his shoulder.

When I finally pulled myself together, he took me by the hand and led me to a chair away from the other people in the waiting area. “We did the section,” he said, “and the baby’s doing fine. I can take you to see her in a little bit.”

I wiped my nose with the back of my hand. “Thank God. What about Nadia?”

“She’s back in the ICU,” he said, “so she’s hanging on, but it was rough. When they came to get me earlier, she was arresting, and the baby was in distress, so we had to do an emergency section, even though Nadia wasn’t stable. A few minutes after we got the baby out, we lost her, and it took a while to get her back. I had to shock her a number of times. She’s a fighter, that one.”

Thank you, God
.

“Has she woken up yet?”

“No, and she’s not out of the woods yet. But I promise you, we’re doing everything we can.”

“Will she recover?”

He hesitated. “I won’t lie to you, Diana. Her heart function is very poor. That virus hit her hard, and the pregnancy didn’t help. If she can make it through the next twenty-four hours there’s a chance, but she’s definitely going to need a new heart. I’ve got my team working to get her on the transplant list right now.”

“How long will it take to get her a new heart?” I asked.

“It’s impossible to predict.” Then he touched my knee. “I’d like to take you to see the baby now, if that’s all right with you.”

I nodded, and he offered his hand to help me rise.