The Color of Jade (Jade Series Book 1) (17 page)

“Dizzy…” I said as I sat down. I scanned the wide openness of the meadow below. Full of long golden and green grass, with delicate white, purple and blue flowers. He sat next to me.

“I was coming back, I would have helped you,” he said. I searched and found the trailhead that lead up to the cabin, a difficult hike for anyone to make, and I thought of how he had to carry me up here. Then, if that wasn’t enough, he stayed up all night and the whole next day to make sure I was okay before he got any rest.

“I know,” I said then glanced at him. If there was anything I discovered about Gage, it was his selflessness, and I could see it still in his eyes. I smiled. “I’m okay.”

“You hit your head pretty hard… You have a bad concussion,” he said, he glanced at the bruises on my face as if studying them, assessing the damage. “It’s going to take a while for you to get back to normal again.”

“Are you saying I’m not normal?”

“I don’t know,” he paused as his eyes flicked up to mine. He gave me an honest smile as he chuckled under his breath. “I’m still trying to figure you out.”

I pulled at a sprig of grass that grew next to me and twisted it around the tip of my finger. “I’m sorry you had to lug me up here,” I said, as I tried to make light of it. “You should have just left me by the rock.” I wished I hadn’t said that because immediately he looked at me offended.

“I hardly had to lug you anywhere. There isn’t much to you, ya know… I wasn’t going to just leave you there.”

“I’m sorry... I know... It’s just that, well… I feel stupid. You hardly know me and I'm embarrassed that you
had to carry me
. It makes me feel weak.”

“Jade you were hurt, you’re
still
hurt, so don’t feel stupid. It doesn’t show weakness by letting someone help you. Besides, I do know you… I know you’re not weak. You don’t have to prove to me how tough you are,” he teased. His sarcastic tone and mischievous grin pulled at his lip and left me to wonder what he really thought about me. His expression softened. I glared at him, still embarrassed, even though he said not to be.

“What if I was drooling or something?”

“You weren’t,” he laughed. For a second he watched me. “Okay… I’m sorry I carried you the rest of the way.” His hands went up in surrender. He moved a hand slowly, as if to avoid injury from me. I giggled as he leaned over and pulled a delicate blue wildflower out of the grass that matched the color of his eyes. He handed it to me. “A peace offering… just don’t kick my butt for wanting to.”

I gasped then smiled warily back at him as he joked and I took the flower from his hand. I brought the velvet petals inches from my nose and smelled the fragrant scent.

“Thank you, Gage, for helping me.” I looked down at the flower in my hands. I’d never been given flowers before. This one was the first. A subtle smile curled into my cheeks and I bit my lip to contain it.

“You’re welcome,” he said. The soft feel of his eyes settled on me. I glanced up at him and he didn’t look away. This wasn’t the first time I caught him looking at me and I felt myself hesitate.

“What are you doing?”

“Watching you…”

“Why?”

His shoulders shrugged. “Sorry, I can’t help it.”

He smiled at me, somewhat awkward, but yet still confident. I still held the little blue flower to my nose.

“Your green eyes… They’re beautiful… I don’t want to stop looking at them,” he paused and looked into them deeply, as if to read my every thought, “ ever… so if you catch me again… You’ll know why.”

A soft smile grew slowly on my face. Who was he? The mysteriousness of him left me eager to know him, I wondered what went on in his mind, what he felt in his heart. Not just about me, but about life, about everything.

I felt something stir inside of me and I had to pull my gaze away. I looked down into the openness of the valley. Not because I didn’t want to look at him longer, but because I felt he could see right through me, like he stole my thoughts, thoughts about him. I suddenly felt self-conscious and I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to know how strongly he pulled at me.

He finally broke the silence and saved me from the intensity of my feelings. It was the least he could do since he was the one who put me at risk of silently divulging them. A leap I wasn’t quite ready to take yet.

“From here we can see if anyone is coming with enough time to leave if we need to. You should be safe here for now.”

He reminded me of why we were here. For some reason, I wasn’t scared. We would definitely be able to see from here, if anyone came. You could see all of Little Creek from where we sat and it was hard to believe that it wasn’t as peaceful as it looked from where we sat.

Gage leaned over the side of the rock where we sat and picked something up. “I found an old bow with some arrows outside in the wood box wrapped in a shirt. I think I’ll try it out tomorrow, maybe we can eat rabbit or mountain quail for dinner.”

He handed me the bow and I looked it over closely. “It looks so old. How many arrows?”

“Twenty.”

“Can you shoot a bow?”

“Maybe you’ll have to teach me.”

I held the bow in my hands and looked into his teasing eyes. “Well, you pull back on this thing here and…” I pulled back and stretched the string tight.

“I know how to use a bow,” he grinned and nudged me gently with his shoulder. “It’s a lot older than mine at home but I’m sure I can figure it out.”

He took it from me, his glance warm and comforting, and his already soft eyes softened more. He eyed the bow and one of the arrows, probably for straightness. His face had a shadow from missing his daily shave over the last few mornings. It probably itched because he absently rubbed his cheek with his fingers.

“I think there’s a razor in the backpack.”

“What, you don’t like it?” he asked, as he consciously rubbed the scruff on his cheek a little harder.

“No… I mean… I don’t mind it,” I said. I felt a little flustered and he laughed. “I like it…”

On impulse, I touched his cheek softly and felt the short dark hairs prickling my fingertips. I smiled as I let my hand fall.

“So… Do you hunt?” I asked.

“What?”

“With your bow… Do you hunt?”

“Oh… Yeah, I used to hunt a lot with my dad. I haven’t gone for a while. I’m probably a little rusty,” he replied, seemingly, a little distracted.

“Do I need to worry about starving up here?” I joked with him.

“It might take me all twenty arrows, but I’ll get us something to eat.” He shook his head. I rested my head back against the rock. He gave me a sideways glance as his smile faded.

“You look pale… Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”  I lied. I really didn’t feel very well.

“Lay down if you want.”

“I just got out here.  I don’t want to go back inside yet.”

“There’s grass.”

I stiffened from the ache over my body as I eased off the rock and melted into the sweet smelling grass. Content to be outside in the fresh air, I turned my head towards him. With my hand over my forehead, I shielded my eyes from the sun as I watched Gage walk towards me and sit in the tall grass next to my side. After a minute, he rested back onto his elbows. He tipped his head back, closed his eyes and soaked up the sun.

A rustle in the bushes drew my attention to three deer and a baby fawn not even fifteen feet away from us just past the cabin. I felt the firmness and strength in the muscles of his arm as I touched him with the tips of my fingers and gave a light squeeze.

“Shh, look over there,” I whispered to him softly.

Gage turned and rolled slowly onto his side. He looked past me as he leaned on his elbow, his body close to mine. “I’m surprised they’re still here,” he said, as he turned his gaze to me. To have him so close made my heart skip.

I wasn’t sure if the deer didn’t see us or if they just didn’t feel threatened because they stayed and we watched them eat. Then slowly, they barely made a sound as they jumped over logs and bounded off through the trees out of the meadow.

“Have you ever had a concussion?” Gage asked, as he stood next to the stove. He had left earlier for about an hour and returned with fish for dinner. How he managed to catch three good sized river trout I wasn’t sure, but grateful just the same.

“No,” I said, my voice shaky as I shivered from the cold. The chair legs scraped against the floorboards as I pulled it out to sit next to the warm stove. I leaned against the table on my elbow and propped my head with my fist as I fought the buzzing surge of pain in my head.

I watched him cook under ribbons of light that streamed in through the window. The brightness of the setting sun reflected in through the glass and settled on him casting a golden aura around his body. My insides tingled with warmth as I visually took him in, and then as if he felt me watch him, he looked my way with a crooked, shy smile.

My heart pounded and my breath stilled in my chest as he took a step towards me. The wooden planked floor creaked as his weight shifted. I sat upright and pressed my back into the curves of the log wall as he towered over me. He reached behind me, close enough I could hear his steady breaths and smell the sappy pine on his shirt.

I finally breathed as he pulled the wooden stoker from the corner and with the stick in his hand, knelt in front of the stove and stirred the dying coals. The tip, charred ashen from frequent use left a black mark on the floor. He used it to support his weight as he stared into the growing fire deep in thought about something. A gentle billowing of smoke escaped through the open door as he set the stick down, picked a few pieces of wood off the pile and placed them on the emerging flame.

A hushed silence filled the tiny room, disturbed only by the gentle roll of water as it heated in the teapot and the subtle whistle that churned out of the spout. He plucked the tin cup off the shelf and filled it. Steam billowed then disappeared into the air.

“Here, drink some tea, it should help your headache,” he said, and then handed me the cup as he set the teapot on the table. How did he know? I took the tea, and then watched him carry the pan of fried fish to the table and set it between us.

I picked up a piece with my fingers and dropped it in my mouth. The tender flakey fish almost melted on my tongue. We continued to eat. I looked up as I licked my fingers and paused. An inquisitive look in his eyes as he watched me. Hungrier than I realized, my stomach growled. I tensed and hoped he didn’t hear. My cheeks flushed. I couldn’t contain my grin so I took another bite to hide it with my hand.

“Here,” he said, then slid the pan towards me. My smile vanished and I looked at him stunned. “You finish it.”

“Aren’t you hungry?”

“Nah… and I’m not really a fan of fish.”

I watched him, studied him. His expression unreadable. “You’re lying,” I said and slid the pan back between us. His brows peaked, probing me further. “Anyone who can debone perfect fillets has to be a fan of fish.”

“Pretty good, girl,” he chuckled, then divided the remaining fillet and gave me the bigger half. “Pretty good…Are you getting enough?”

“Yeah…” I finished it off then moved cautiously to the bed. My heavy eyes drifted closed and my head met the pillow as I said, “thank you for dinner.”I told myself would let them close, only a few minutes…

When I opened my eyes, darkness enveloped the cabin. The only light, the orange glow from the fire.

“Hey,” Gage said, next to me on the bed, stretched out and propped on one elbow with a concerned look on his face. “Let me see your eyes…do you feel okay?”

I gave him a weak smile as he turned my face into the firelight and studied my eyes close as his shifted from one pupil to the other to compare the two. “You keep asking me that.”

“Well, I don’t know if you are falling asleep or passing out… You go out so quickly.”

“I’m okay, I think whatever’s in that tea makes me sleepy,” I paused, not completely convinced that was the only reason why. “Do my pupils look okay?”

The worry in his eyes softened as he backed up slightly, content with his assessment of my condition.

“Yeah… I think it's from your moms’ garden, the label on the bag says it has chamomile, catnip, and mint.”

“That’s why I keep falling asleep. That will knock out a horse...”

My mom spent years studying about all of the natural medicines that grew wild and she taught me about them. She would grow most of them in her garden so they were on hand and had natural remedies for just about every ailment you could have. She studied books about them, harvested, drew out their oils and dried them throughout the year, so she had a constant supply and many people came to her for treatment of their various illnesses.

“What time do you think it is?”

“Maybe nine... It’s been dark for about a half hour,” he said, as he moved to the table and reached for the lantern.

“Sorry I’ve been sleeping so much. You must be bored out of your mind.”

“Nah...”

The dim glow of the kerosene lantern grew as he lit the wick and replaced the glass chimney. With his face partially shaded, the dim lighting hid half of his face, further darkening the roughness of his stubbly jaw line. He moved around the table into the glow of the golden flame, his face now fully visible as the shadows faded into the worn wooden logs of the cabin.

“Do you remember that day I saw you at Marge’s?” I asked.

Gage’s blue eyes glanced up and met mine with an all-knowing smile, an eyebrow raised as if he enjoyed it, which made my heart jump. His deep penetrating voice filled the small room. “I remember and you can bump into me any time.”

I laughed, at the memory of that day and how flustered I felt from his touch. I was embarrassed all over again and I couldn’t contain my grin.

“Yeah… That day, sorry about that…”

“No need to apologize.”

“I didn’t recognize you.”

“I know,” he paused, “I knew you would eventually.”

“Trey told me later that you guys were back. Where did you go?”

“We moved when I was eight. My dad stationed in Texas for four years and then Florida for another four. I was a sophomore when we moved back.”

“I remember you from when we were kids... Did you know it was me?”

“Yeah, right away... I’ve never forgotten about you, Jade,” he said, and then he grew quiet for a moment. “Do you remember… a year before the virus, you and Trey played on a comp soccer team that went to state?”

Perplexed, I slowly said, “yeah?”

“Your team won, I was there and saw you play. That day was the first time I saw you after I returned.”

“You were at that game?”

“Yeah, I was there,” he said. “We had just moved back, maybe four months and lived in an apartment in the city until our house was built.”

“That team was so tough, we almost didn’t win.” I smiled as I remembered when we beat them.

“Yeah, that was a good game... You kicked the winning goal.”

I turned and looked at him. “Yeah I did… How can you possibly remember that?”

“I played on the other team.”

I laughed nervously as my jaw dropped. Why didn’t I notice him then? I tried to think back, I wanted to picture him there.

“You did?”

“I caught your eye once in the game. I remember thinking then, you had the most beautiful green eyes. I guess that is part of how I recognized you… that and I knew Trey… That’s what I remembered most about you when we were younger, your eyes.”

“Why didn’t you ever say hi at school?”

“I wanted to… I guess I was a little intimidated.”

I looked at him puzzled. “You knew me once... Why, would I intimidate
you
?”

“I didn’t think you would remember me and you just don’t walk up to Jade Kennington, and say hi… Star player on the soccer team, the girl every guy wants to be lucky enough to meet. Everyone knew you and everyone wanted to be your friend.  You always had friends with you.”

“School wasn’t like that.”

“You have that kind of effect on people, Jade…  I wanted to… I was going to… Then I lost my chance, I had no idea that a day would come that I wouldn’t be able to… Maybe I was afraid of being rejected.”

I didn’t remember my limited days at high school being anything like that. I was only there two weeks before the virus hit. Me reject him. I thought it would’ve been the other way around. Gage seemed to be a confident, take-charge kind of guy, and I found it hard to believe.

“Your rejections don’t come easy you know.”

A sliver of vulnerability escaped with his words, visible only because I’d felt the same way and I recognized it in his eyes. Suddenly, I was reminded about how he wanted to talk to me and I wouldn’t because Kane had embarrassed me. Then, when he took me home from the assembly, he could have just sent me on my way by myself, but he didn’t. I wanted to say something but couldn’t.

“I’m sorry, Jade. At the assembly, it wasn’t my intension to upset you. I just… I needed to get you home before something bad happened… When you wouldn’t go… I just couldn’t let you win that one,” he said, as an intriguing smile curled his lip. “You are pretty head strong when you want to be.”

I looked at Gage confused, still unsure of what to say, unsure of how I felt. I remembered that day at the assembly, the way Gage insisted I leave, the way he took me home, the forcefulness in his words and actions. I was sure his actions were deliberate, to let me know he wasn’t interested, that I was nothing more than Kane’s little sister and he was there to make sure I got home, the way my brother would have wanted. When really, he did whatever it took to protect me from Damian and Rubin, even if it meant offending my stubborn pride. Damian had been so bold before, how he came to my house to get to me, to get to Kane. There was no saying what he would do on his territory with the Militia to back him up. I wondered why I read Gage’s intensions so wrong that day.

“I hoped to finally talk to you. Too many years had gone by,” he paused, as it all suddenly became clear. “I saw you at Zach’s funeral with your dad… That was the last time I saw you before we moved away.”  My eyes followed him as he moved next to me on the bed. “Zach used to talk about you all the time… I know we knew each other before, but that accident changed something in me, when I saw you there… At his funeral, for some reason, after that I never forgot you, Jade.”

I remembered the death of my young friend as I my gaze drifted from Gage to the mesmerizing flicker of the fire. “Zach,” I smiled half-heartedly, “if he hadn’t pushed me ... I was only six when he died, I think he was eight.”

“Yeah, he was five months younger than me.”

“He died because of me.”

I closed my eyes and pulled my knees up to my chest, reliving the horrific events of how he died. The pain from that day, the burden that I’d carried why Zach really died, still cut sharp like a knife. Hit by a car, headed right for me. Even though he was far enough away, he put himself in front of the car so he could push me out of the way.

“No he didn’t. He died because a drunk driver that shouldn’t have been on the road was,” he said, then poured the last of the already steeped tea into a cup. The steam curled into the air.

“Is that what they
said
happened?”

“That
is
what happened, Jade.”

“The car wasn’t going to hit him. He pushed me out of the way. It was supposed to be me… How does an eight-year-old boy react like that? I mean… Was he able to understand what he was doing? Everything happened so fast.”

“He knew what he was doing,” he said, and handed me a cup of tea. I drank from it, not really registering what I held in my hand, too encroached in our conversation.

“How do you know?”

“I just do.”

“How?” I asked, as I brought the cup to my lips and sipped slow.

Gage shrugged his shoulders. The softness in his eyes told me he understood my need to know why Zach would have done such a thing and how hard it was for me to accept it as it was. “He cared about you… I would have done the same,” he said. The sincerity in his eyes held my gaze and the seriousness of his words hit me in waves, as if he caught me with a powerful, churning turbulence that caused my head to spin.

I remembered the day of his funeral. I couldn’t see over the top of the casket so my dad picked me up and I stared at Zach. I couldn’t believe it was him. It didn’t look like him at all. He was a dusky color under the makeup, applied to cover up all the marks. He was bruised and swollen; especially his eyelids and he had cuts on his face. I heard people say he looked good. I didn’t think he looked good at all and saying so didn’t make him any less dead. I could tell, even as young as I was the comments were made as an attempt to comfort his mom.

Dressed in his Sunday clothes, he looked less like himself as well. He had some of his favorite things in the casket next to him, his favorite hat, his glove and his baseball. He loved to play baseball and we would spend hours playing out in the fields.

Tears had rolled down my little round cheeks still too young to fully understand. Heavy with a plaster cast, I put my arm around my dad’s neck. I unfolded a piece of paper and asked Zach’s mom if I could give it to him. As I tilted the paper so she could see it, tears flooded her already wet eyes. It was a picture I drew of us playing in the field, I had wrote,
“I love you, Zach. Thanks for being my friend, love Jade.”  
I set it in the casket and said goodbye to Zach.