The Colours of Love (41 page)

‘I love you.’ He lifted her chin with the tip of his finger so that he could gaze into the depths of her chocolate-brown eyes. ‘I always will – in this world and the one to come. I promise you that, sweetheart.’

For a moment the memory of the evening Joy was conceived was vivid; Monty had said much the same thing, after they had made love for the first time. He had promised her the forever kind of love.
But Caleb meant it
.

She looked into the rough-hewn face, every feature of which declared his roots, and she smiled. They would never have much money, and life wouldn’t be a bed of roses, but they would have love pressed down and spilling over. That was riches indeed.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Much to Esther’s surprise and relief, she found that Mr Dimple had kept her job open for her, when she went to the hotel the day after she’d arrived back in Sunderland. Within a short while she’d slipped into the previous routine, and the nightmare of the preceding weeks faded as the busyness of her working life took over. Until, that was, she discovered Theobald hadn’t been lying about making her the sole beneficiary of his will.

She hadn’t given his declaration a second thought, sure that it was just some clever ruse to keep her under his thumb. But no; according to Theobald’s solicitor, as Theobald’s daughter and sole heir she was entitled to the proceeds of the estate, his many enterprises and any monies, bonds and shares that he’d accrued.

‘It’s all yours, m’dear,’ the solicitor had assured her, when she and Caleb had visited his offices in answer to a letter she’d received. ‘Lock, stock and barrel. And may I say there are plenty of barrels, in this case.’

He smiled an oily smile, and Esther thought she quite understood why this particular individual had suited Theobald.

‘And because, I understand, you are in the throes of a divorce, your husband, Mr Montgomery Grant, has informed me that he wants to make it plain he relinquishes any claim to your late father’s estate.’

The solicitor kept his voice expressionless and did not glance at Caleb at this point. This lady was a very wealthy woman now. He did not wish to offend her by letting his avid interest in her private life show.

Esther and Caleb left the plush offices in Chester-le-Street with their heads whirling, a short time later. Eliza was taking care of Joy, and so they went for a meal in a nearby hotel before they caught the train to Sunderland. Once the waiter had taken their order for drinks, he left them with the menu, with a promise to return shortly.

It was Caleb who spoke first, raising his eyes from the embossed card as he murmured, ‘Life with you is never dull, that’s for sure.’

Esther had been unable to determine what he was thinking, when they had been talking to the solicitor, and now she said, ‘Are you upset? About the inheritance?’

‘Truthfully?’

She nodded.

‘It’s going to take a bit of getting used to, and I’m damned glad we met before I knew I’d bagged myself a rich heiress.’ He smiled. ‘Don’t look so tragic. You’ve just been told you’re a very wealthy woman.’

‘I’ll say I don’t want a penny, if it’s going to cause a problem between us.’

His smile widened. ‘I believe you would.’

‘Nothing is more important than us, Caleb.’ She reached forward and took his hand across the table. ‘And I think Theobald was trying to use this as a form of blackmail, to keep me and Joy with him. He would probably have changed the will as soon as he had got what he wanted. Who knows?’

‘Who knows indeed.’ He squeezed her fingers. ‘What are you going to do?’

‘We’ll decide together.’ The waiter was returning and, as she disengaged her hand, Esther glanced down at her menu, saying, ‘Look at the price of the chicken.’ Poultry, which had been almost unobtainable for town-dwellers during the war years, had become more available in recent months, but the price had increased in the shops to an unbelievably high two shillings and sixpence a pound, and the menu reflected this. ‘Who on earth can afford these prices?’

‘You, for one,’ said Caleb drily.

Esther glanced quickly at him, but he was smiling again. She smiled back, relieved he was taking it so well. She had been among his kind long enough to understand that the working man was quite different from the gentry and upper-class, when it came to marrying a woman better off than he was. The working man saw himself as the provider, and until the war many wouldn’t have dreamed of letting their wives work outside the home – Stanley being one of them. And he wasn’t alone. Ida, Caleb’s sister, had recently had an almighty row with her husband shortly after he’d returned from the war, simply because she wanted to continue working as a conductress on the buses.

The time of women having to ‘do their bit’, because the men had been called up, was over, he’d told Ida. He was home now. Things could get back to normal. When Ida had declared she had no intention of returning to what he called ‘normal’, they hadn’t spoken for a week, according to Eliza.

It was the same everywhere. There’d been an expectation by the male sex that women would leave their war jobs to make way for the home-coming soldiers, but although some had been happy to comply, others – like Ida – weren’t willing to sacrifice their new status. Working-class women had tasted independence, and for many there was no going back.

They ate the mediocre meal quickly, when it came. While Caleb settled the bill, Esther went to the ladies’ room. She had no wish to use the facilities, but she needed a few moments to herself. Entering one of the two cubicles, she stood with her back pressed against the door and her eyes shut.

This inheritance was going to change everything. She had watched Caleb’s face when the solicitor had been speaking and, whatever he said to the contrary, he hadn’t liked it. She pressed her hands against her cheeks. He definitely hadn’t liked it. While he might be a little more liberated than his father, with regard to a woman’s role in life and marriage, Caleb was a man of the people. In his world, the man was
always
the breadwinner – simple as that. In certain circumstances it might be permissible for a woman to marry into money, although even then she didn’t doubt that those less charitable would attach certain labels to the unfortunate girl. But for a man to do so?

Opening her eyes, she shook her head slowly. What was she going to do? Even if she gave everything away, it wouldn’t help now. If they found themselves struggling in the next years and things were tough, Caleb would blame himself that she was in that position, when she didn’t need to be. If she kept her inheritance, it would drive a wedge between them, she knew it. And she didn’t want to live in her old home and play the lady of the manor; she was as far removed from that Esther as the man-in-the-moon. And there was Monty too. In spite of everything, she couldn’t see him penniless. She didn’t want him in her life, or Joy’s for that matter; but he needed help to start a new life of his own and, now she was in a position to provide that help, she couldn’t pass by on the other side of the road. But Caleb wouldn’t see it that way, and she couldn’t blame him.

Leaving the cubicle, she washed her hands at the small basin in the outside area and then looked at her reflection in the long, spotted mirror attached to the cloakroom wall. She was wearing a Utility dress that she had bought with her coupons in the last year of the war. The square-shouldered frock was serviceable at best, and her brown wartime coat was cut without fastenings, to be wrapped around the body and held in place by a tie belt. Economy, and making do. And Eliza and Caleb’s sisters wore similar clothes, like all working-class folk. This was her world now and she had adapted to it, and in the last three years she had come to know that Joy didn’t need fancy schools and a nanny, and servants and beautiful clothes, to grow into a happy little girl – just love. Queuing at the baker’s shop, now that bread was on ration, along with cakes and flour and oatmeal; asking Caleb to resole her shoes, because she couldn’t afford new ones; making a penny stretch to two – this was normal life. And she liked it. She liked it because it was Caleb’s world, and she wanted to be part of it with him.

He was waiting for her in the foyer when she left the cloakroom, slipping her arm through his as they left the hotel, as though there was nothing wrong. But there was. And they both knew it.

The train ride was a short one and they were in a carriage with other folk, so it wasn’t until they were back in Sunderland and making their way to Bright Street that Esther said, ‘What shall we tell your parents? About the will, I mean.’

‘The truth, of course.’

They had just turned into the back lane of Bright Street and now, in the middle of a hot July, the privies in the back yards were stinking to high heaven in one or two of the houses, where the occupants were less than particular. As they passed one yard two small children, as naked as the day they were born, were playing in an old tin bath that their mother had filled with water, while an elderly dog snoozed at their side in the late-afternoon sunshine. Esther glanced at their little faces; they were alight with the joy of the moment. Stopping, she said, ‘Caleb? If we tell them, it becomes real.’

‘What?’ He walked on a step and now he turned to face her.

Softly she whispered, ‘I’m frightened. We’re happy, and I don’t want it all to go wrong. I don’t want to lose you.’

‘You couldn’t lose me if you tried.’ He took her in his arms and kissed her, before saying softly, ‘Hey, sweetheart, there’s nothing to cry about. Look, from the moment I met you, I knew you were unique – a one-off – and that’s part of why I love you, I suppose. And let’s face it, we were never going to be your average family, were we?’ He lifted her chin and smiled into her tear-drenched eyes. ‘Even before you open your mouth, it’s obvious you’re a cut above. That’s just the way it is. And I’m’ – he shrugged – ‘as working-class as old boots. Then there’s Joy, and any children we might have, to be added to the mix. We were always going to stick out like a sore thumb and be the subject of speculation. I came to terms with that a long time ago, and I don’t give a damn what people say or think; it doesn’t matter, as long as we’re together. The thing is, love: the way I see it, we make our own world, a new world, like a good many others will have to do. Wherever it is – be it here in a house in one of these streets, or somewhere else – once we shut the door at night, it’ll be us and our family, and the rest of them can go to hell as far as I’m concerned.’

With a sigh that swept the tenseness from her body, Esther relaxed against him. He meant it, she could tell. It probably wasn’t the moment to say what she was going to say, but she needed to say it nonetheless. Quietly she said, ‘I was thinking on the train, and I want to sell everything, Caleb: the house, the businesses, and the rest. I couldn’t bear to live in that house now, not knowing what I do about Theobald. And . . . and once things are settled and we know how we stand financially, I’d like to settle an amount on Monty. Enough for him to make a new start somewhere.’

Grimly Caleb said, ‘He doesn’t deserve such generosity.’

‘He is who he is; a product of his parents, as much as I am of mine. His father was a weak man too. I used to feel sorry for him, having a wife like Clarissa, but I think, looking back, that Hubert liked being led by the nose. He was somewhat helpless.’

His voice was stiff when he muttered, ‘And you think Monty is helpless too? Do you still care for him?’

‘Not in the way you mean.’

‘He’s a spineless excuse of a man, and I don’t want him in our lives.’

‘He won’t be, but he is still Joy’s father, Caleb.’ He didn’t reply, and she went on, ‘She might want to contact him when she’s older, because I can’t keep the fact that he’s her father a secret. There have been enough secrets and enough damage done, as it is. But believe me when I say I know Monty, and he won’t want visiting rights or anything like that. At the bottom of him, he’s still embarrassed by her.’ She swallowed hard. It was difficult to say. ‘By her colour.’

‘Oh, my love.’ Again Caleb gathered her to him, and for some moments they stood entwined, oblivious of the mean little lane with its smells and poverty. Sometimes, because he didn’t see Joy’s colour, just the enchanting little girl she was, he forgot Esther worried about how her daughter was going to fare in a world where children, as well as adults, could be horribly cruel. But he would make sure Joy had a childhood filled with love and happiness, where home was a sanctuary and family was everything. The child might not have come from him in a biological sense, but he was her father in every way that mattered, and Joy would grow up sure of that. ‘Do whatever you want about Monty,’ he murmured into the silk of her hair. ‘I don’t mind.’

Eliza and Stanley sat staring at Esther and Caleb, who had just finished telling them what the solicitor had said. Their faces were a picture. Stanley’s mouth had fallen open in a gape, and Eliza was pop-eyed. It was Caleb who said, ‘Well, say something. Don’t just sit there.’

‘I . . . We . . . ’ Eliza took a steadying breath. ‘We thought it was likely something to do with the divorce.’ She glanced at her husband, who was still clearly in shock. ‘I can’t believe it. Are you sure this solicitor fellow has got it right?’

‘It’s a will, Mam.’

‘Aye, I know – I know it’s a will, you said, but he could still have made a mistake.’

‘There’s no mistake, Mrs McGuigan,’ said Esther softly. ‘At least not as far as the will is concerned. Whether Theobald ever intended it to be permanent, I don’t know. He had an obsession about his name being carried on, and I think he thought he could persuade me to resume my position as his daughter and Monty’s wife, by the bribe of his fortune.’

‘Did he indeed? Didn’t know you that well then, did he, in spite of bringing you up?’ Eliza shook her head. ‘Well, I never; you don’t know what a day’s going to bring, do you? So it’s a lot, is it? What you’re getting?’

Esther nodded.

‘Well, lass, we’re pleased for you. Aren’t we?’ she added to Stanley. ‘To my mind, you had a raw deal from that so-an’-so when the bab was born, and this makes up for it.’ She shook her head again. ‘This’ll change things, though, won’t it?’ Her gaze moved to Caleb, as she realized it perhaps wasn’t the most tactful thing to say, and then back to Esther. ‘I mean, you won’t have to stay in that room now,’ she added hastily. ‘You’ll be able to please yourself where you live, and what you do.’