The Commitment (The Unrestrained #2) (8 page)

I couldn't hold back my smile. "We're really a very vanilla couple," I said while he positioned himself above me.

"We are. We'd be booed out of the dungeon. Now, be quiet Ms. Bennet. You talk far too much, like your namesake." He silenced me with a kiss and that was the end of our playful banter.

He stood up and pulled me to the edge of the bed so that my feet rested on the side. He took my hips in his hands and began to thrust, watching as his cock slid inside of me as he thrust. He reached up to squeeze a breast, then leaned down to suck my nipple, his hands running over my body as if he was hungry to touch me. He took my feet in his hands and held them, spreading my thighs wide, all the time watching himself as he fucked me, his face flushed red, his lips parted. A flush spread over his chest as his thrusts increased in tempo and I watched as his orgasm started, a grimace of pleasure spreading on his face, his teeth clenched, and then his face slackened as he began to ejaculate.

"Oh, fuck, oh,
fuck
…" He thrust slow and deep, his eyes closed, his face a mask of pleasure.

When he was done, he collapsed onto me and I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer.

Drake dressed quickly after we finished washing up and left the apartment with a promise to return later after several meetings he had at the hospital, wrapping up his work before we left.

After I dressed, I peeked into his kitchen and examined his fridge contents. All healthy food – slightly wilted greens, a drawer full of fruits, almond milk, cream for coffee, condiments. There was some whole grain cereal in a cupboard and multigrain bread in a breadbox. I had toast with unpasteurized honey, tea and an orange. I walked through Drake's apartment, touching the piano keys, examining the photos his father had taken of various bands in the 70s and 80s.

I went to Drake's bondage cabinet and looked at the cuffs and leather straps, the rope and assorted sex toys. Would I become this kinky little thing, like he thought I was?

I had the sense that Drake knew what he was doing. He said I'd enjoy it, if I let myself. Where would he take me?

If he had been more sadistic, if he really had wanted to hurt me, would I still be here or would I have run?

Then my cell trilled. I rifled through my bag and found it. It was Lara. I answered and her voice sounded pleased to talk to me.

"Hiya, Kate. Drake asked me to call you."

"He already spoke to you about this?"

"You bet he did. He's concerned that you'll get the wrong idea about Sunita."

"My friend
Dawn
—"

"How can you call her a friend? She tried her best to break you two up and almost succeeded."

"We go back a long way. I owe her a lot."

"Well, whatever. I think you're far too forgiving." She sighed on the other end of the connection. "So, what do you need to know about
Sunita
…"

"I told Drake I didn't need to call you."

"He wanted me to call. Hold for a moment. I have to close my door."

I waited and heard rustling of papers before she came back on the line.

"So, when I first met Drake, we took a course on abnormal psychology together. We studied sexual deviance that semester and read up on BDSM, debating whether it was a sign of deviance or just a normal human sexual variant. He was fascinated by sadism and masochism. I thought it was because he was into it, either as a masochist or sadist. Sometimes really high-achieving men like to submit in the bedroom. It's a stress release."

She paused for a moment and I heard her take a sip of a drink. "I was already active in the lifestyle, but he was this bright-eyed junior and had no familiarity with kink outside of porn with a bit of spanking or hair pulling. You know, the usual vanilla stuff. So I thought he was really
into
it. I didn’t realize at the time that it was the scientist in him. The future-physician, the hopeful psychoanalyst. He was curious, but more because he was interested in the mind. Not because it was a kink."

I tried to imagine Drake in a classroom, sitting beside the impeccably dressed Lara and a stab of jealousy went through me.

"When I realized Drake wasn’t a sub," she said, continuing. "I thought Drake was like me – a Dom with a bit of sadism in him, so after his marriage broke up, he contacted me and told me what happened. I told him he was a Dom and that he had to learn how to top a submissive. He became my submissive so I could teach him."

"So you tied him up and
spanked
him?"

"Oh, yes. And a
lot
more."

"What do you mean, a lot more?"

"Exactly what I said. Everything that Drake does to you? I've done to him. Bondage. Discipline."

I screwed up my face, thinking of his desire for anal. "Did you use a…" I hesitated. 

"A strap on?" Lara said, amusement in her voice. "I did. He had to learn how to do anal properly. He and I have done
everything
, Kate. So you don't have to worry. I know Drake Morgan and he is
not
a sadist."

I felt white hot jealousy fill me to think of Lara with Drake, but I tried to squelch that by repeating to myself that they were both Dominants and so could never satisfy each other.

"Did you ever do," I said, biting my bottom lip. "
Vanilla
sex?"

"We had a go when we were first taking classes together but didn't mesh," she said, and I could hear the smile in her voice. "Don't be jealous. I don't do Vanilla as a rule, although Drake does. He's very mild, which was why I paired you with him. Don't get me wrong – there was a part of me that wished he was a sub, because if so, I would have grabbed onto him and not let go. But I knew he was Dominant. I just wasn't sure where he fell in the S&M spectrum."

"You exposed him to pain to see if he liked it? Did you hurt him?"

"Yes, but it did nothing for him sexually. I also tried him out with a few women who liked pain to see if he liked to give it. Sunita was one of the ones I fixed him up with. It didn’t end well."

I swallowed, a sense of darkness settling over me. "Tell me what happened."

"She wanted Drake. He didn’t want her. It's that simple." She took a slurp of her coffee. "He didn’t get off on what she needed. She was jealous when he moved on and she raised a stink, stalking him a bit. He tried really hard to humor her but he met a sub that he clicked with and Sunita was not happy. I did my best to find her a new Dom and finally, she gave up, but she was always angry with him for not trying to make it work. She thought he could do it. Or, she convinced herself that he was denying his inner sadist."

"So he tried with her? He did do some painful things?"

"Yes. Floggers. Canes. Riding crops. Nipple clamps. That kind of thing. She has pictures of her bruises and video of them playing together, but you can't tell for sure it's him. Drake was very careful about that, given his position. She wanted to get into knife play and edge play, but for Drake as a surgeon, that would be betraying his oath. If he
had
done anything like that, she could have really fucked him up with the College of Physicians and Surgeons if she wanted. But it would have exposed her as well and so, thankfully, she didn't do anything. I found her someone who was more in sync with her needs, but I think she felt embarrassed that he found her too kinky."

I tried to imagine Drake using a cane with Sunita. Flogging her until she was bruised. I tried to understand why someone would want to be cut and to have a knife as part of their sex play. I didn't understand it, but I
did
understand how the forbidden and slightly dangerous was appealing sexually. Edge play was just taking it to the extreme.

"I'm glad he never did any edge play."

"It could have ruined his career if anyone found out that he cut someone as part of sex play. A surgeon? He knew he had to end it with her when she brought it up."

"It's a good thing he did. He's meant to be a surgeon. He's amazing."

"Drake
is
amazing. I thought when I met you that first time that the two of you were a pair. He likes his subs younger, petite, and pretty. And since you were a grad student, I figured you'd be smart enough for him, if things developed. I'm so glad they did. Tell Drake what you need, Kate. He understands, and believe me, he wants to give you every thing you need. It's his thing. Besides, he's in love with you, Kate. He'd do
anything
for you."

"He's been really good at explaining everything about the lifestyle and D/s, but I'm still not sure how much of a submissive I am."

"Drake's the one to help you learn. Trust him. Tell him what you need. It's so important for a Dominant to know what his submissive is feeling and thinking. Perfect honesty and openness. That's the beauty of BDSM – we have unique needs and we're notorious for spelling everything out, in detail, and agreeing to it. Many lovers thrash around in the darkness, afraid to be honest with their lovers about their needs and what they like. Or they don't have a clue what they really like. Those of us in the lifestyle are open. We know what we need."

I sighed and switched my cell into my other hand. "Thanks for calling me, Lara. And thanks once again for introducing me to Drake. If you hadn't, I wonder where I’d be."

"Probably working your way through a second or third Dominant by now, trying to find one you click with. I had a feeling about you and Drake from the start."

I heard rustling of papers and knew that my conversation with Lara had come to a close.

"Sorry," she said, her voice soft. "But I have to prepare for a case. Call me if you need anything while you're away. I'm always here for you and Drake."

"Thanks, Lara. I really appreciate everything you've done for me. For Drake."

The call ended and I sat staring at the phone for a moment, thinking about Sunita and the potential harm she could still do to Drake, if she was vindictive. I had to hope that she found her own happiness and wouldn't want to show those videos to anyone.

With that thought in my mind, a sense of unease settled over me, despite being happy about life in general, especially my life with Drake. Dawn was still a problem, and despite everything Lara said about Sunita, she was still a threat to Drake.

CHAPTER SIX

The next few days passed quickly while Drake and I finished sorting through things we wanted shipped to Nairobi, and put some of the remaining items from my apartment in storage. While Drake was busy wrapping things up at the hospital and foundation, I was finishing paperwork for my leave of absence.

On the last Thursday before we were scheduled to leave, I dropped by Columbia on my way to my father's and checked in with the Graduate Registrar's office to sign forms. Then, I met with Professor Conrad, my advisor, and we chatted about Africa and how I was going to spend the time seeing the other side of the continent from what I saw while volunteering.

An older man with a balding head and long grey hair, he was the department's senior professor.  He really liked my writing on Africa, and on Mangaize, so I was afraid I'd disappoint him because I was going there without any plans to write about the political situation.

He didn't seem to mind.

"Go on safari," he said, his face bright. "The kind with cameras, of course. You'll see amazing wildlife in Kenya. It's really exciting."

"I can't wait," I said. "I hope my time there will be completely different from the first time I was there."

"Don't do anything but enjoy yourself. Think of nothing academic, don't worry about your coursework. You had a rough time after Niger."

"I did."

"Soak up the landscapes and people," he said, patting my hand. "Columbia will always be here. Remember, no refugee camps, no death and no war."

I nodded and took in a deep breath. "Sounds like heaven."

I walked most of the way to my fathers, enjoying the exercise and the crisp January air. Snow had fallen and the carpet of white seemed to muffle the street noises as I walked along Central Park. I thought about the song Drake played that night on 8
^th
Avenue about the two old men sitting on park benches like bookends. That was the night I'd really fallen for Drake. Before, I'd been infatuated, but that night it was as if he let me see inside of him and I knew his heart was good. I knew he could love, if he let himself. He had so much emotion all tightly controlled and compartmentalized. Since we'd been together, he appeared to be letting those emotions seep into all the different parts.

I smiled to myself and breathed in deeply. I'd miss Manhattan, but I looked forward to seeing a real night sky when I went on safari. I expected Nairobi had as much light pollution as Manhattan so it wouldn't be until I went outside of the city that I'd see the magnificent night skies I remembered from when I was in Africa before.

By the time I got to the apartment on Park Avenue, I was a bit chilled and was glad to be inside the warmth. After I hung up my coat and removed my snowy boots, I searched the apartment for my father. He was in his office, as usual, his reading glasses perched on the end of his nose, a cordless phone to his ear. His iMac screen showed an open video conference window and the face of several people in small boxes. He was in the middle of a videoconference. I covered my mouth and ducked out, but he didn't care.