The Cottage (32 page)

“The saga continues,” he said, sounding almost flip, and she wanted to shake him. Didn't he understand that a man's life was hanging in the balance? What part of this was he missing? All of it, apparently. The realities of Jimmy's situation were too much for Coop.

She said something to Taryn about it later on when she saw her in the trauma unit again. Mark and Valerie were in with him.

“I don't think he relates to difficult situations,” Taryn said honestly. She'd been a little startled by his reaction too, and he'd said something to her about resisting “negative energy” over breakfast, that it was a very dangerous thing to let into your experience. But Taryn had the suspicion that he felt guilty about it. No matter how natural his avoidant reaction was to him,
he knew it wasn't the right thing, whether he admitted it or not. But what bothered Alex was how he could allow himself to avoid the situation entirely. As a result of his denial, he offered no one any support. And as a result, she felt cheated by him. What she had to accept finally was that it was the best he could do. But it worried her to think about what would happen if something “negative” happened to her one day. Would he deal with it, or go to the movies? It was scary to observe him doing everything he could to run away. It was distressing to watch, and none of what he was doing felt good to her.

She went to The Cottage after work that day, although the others were at the hospital with Valerie. But she didn't want to push Coop too far. He was pleasant and easy when she got home, and had ordered a delicious dinner for them from Spago. It was his way of making up to her for what he didn't do. Coop didn't “do” unpleasant. He did pretty. And easy. And fun. And elegant. And gracious. He had somehow managed to weed out of his life the things he didn't like or that frightened him, and only acknowledged the things he found “amusing,” and fun to do. The trouble was, Alex reminded herself, real life wasn't like that. And there was generally a lot more “unpleasant” than “amusing” in life. But not in Coop's world. He wouldn't allow the bad stuff in. He just pretended to himself and everyone else that the bad stuff didn't exist. It made for some very odd perceptions and experiences. And he didn't “do” broke either. He did it, but he didn't acknowledge it. He just went on living, and spending, and playing. And in spite of
everything, they had a lovely, relaxing evening. In Alex's eyes, it was more than a little surreal.

She called the hospital to check on Jimmy's condition, but she didn't mention it to Coop. There was no change. And hope was beginning to dwindle. He had been in the coma for nearly forty-eight hours. And with each passing day, the possibility of a full recovery would diminish. He had about another day to come around, maybe two, before his possibility for full recovery would be gone forever. He might survive, but not as they had known him. All she could do was pray now. And she had a heavy heart when she went to bed with Coop that night, not just because of Jimmy, but because of the piece of Coop she saw that was missing. She found it depressing. In her mind, the missing piece was huge.

She had a day off the next day, but went to the hospital anyway, to sit with Valerie and visit with Jimmy. She wore her scrubs even though she was off duty, so she'd have easy access to the inner sanctum.

“Thank you for being with me,” Valerie said to her gratefully. She and Alex were alone all day. Mark had gone back to work. And Coop was doing a commercial for a national pharmaceutical company, and had insisted on taking Taryn with him.

Valerie and Alex sat for hours in the waiting room, and took turns keeping Jimmy company. They both talked to him endlessly, as though he could hear them. And it seemed fitting that Valerie was standing near his head and talking to him, while Alex stood near his foot and saw a toe move. At first, she thought it was a reflex. And then the whole foot moved. Alex glanced
at the monitor, and then the nurse. She had seen it too. And then, very quietly, he reached for his mother's hand and held it. There were tears streaming down her cheeks, and Alex's, as Valerie continued talking. Very calmly, very surely, she told him how much she loved him and how happy she was that he was feeling better, although in truth there was no sign of it yet, but she acted as though it had already happened. It took another half hour for his eyes to open, and when they did, he looked at his mother.

“Hi, Mom,” he whispered.

“Hi, Jimmy,” she smiled down at him through her tears, and Alex had to fight back a sob that nearly choked her.

“What happened?” His voice was a croak from when they'd intubated him when he was first admitted. The tube had been taken out that morning, because he was able to breathe on his own, even though he was unconscious.

“You're a lousy driver,” his mother said in answer to his question, and even the nurse laughed.

“How's my car?”

“In worse shape than you are. I'll be happy to buy you a new one.”

“Okay,” he said, and then his eyes closed, and he opened them again and saw Alex. “What are you doing here?”

“I'm off duty, so I dropped by to visit.”

“Thanks, Alex,” he said and drifted off to sleep. The attending came only minutes later to check on him.

“Bingo!” he said, grinning at Alex. “We made it.” It was a real victory for the whole team, and while they
checked him, Valerie sobbed in Alex's arms in the hallway. She had thought he would die, and she was so relieved, she was completely unglued from the stress she'd been through.

“It's okay… it's going to be okay now….” Alex comforted her and held her. It had been a terrible ordeal for her, and a huge relief that he had made it.

Alex finally convinced Valerie to leave him later that night, and drove her to the gatehouse. She found a spare key at Coop's, and let her in. Coop was still on the set of the commercial when they got there. And Alex checked to see she had everything she needed.

“You've been so wonderful to me,” Valerie said, with tears in her eyes again. Everything made her cry now. It had been an agonizing two days, and she was starting to feel seriously shaken. “I wish I had a daughter like you.”

“I wish I had a mother like you,” Alex said honestly, smiling at her, before she left her. Alex was feeling greatly relieved when she went back to the main house. And she'd had a bath and washed her hair by the time Coop came in at eleven, looking tired too. It had been an endless day for him as well.

“Oh my God, I'm exhausted,” he complained, as he poured himself, Alex, and Taryn champagne. “I've done plays on Broadway in less time than it took to shoot that dreadful commercial.” But at least they had paid him well, and Taryn had found it interesting. It had kept her mind off Jimmy, and she had called at regular intervals all day to see how Jimmy was. “How was your day, darling?” he asked Alex blithely.

“Excellent.” She smiled at Taryn, who already knew.
“Jimmy woke up today. He's going to be fine, eventually. He's going to be in the hospital for quite a while, but he's going to make it.” Her voice shook as she said it. It had been an emotional experience for everyone, except Coop.

“And they all lived happily after,” Coop added, and smiled at her somewhat patronizingly. “You see, my darling, if you simply don't focus on those things, they take care of themselves in time. It's much easier to let God handle it, and go about your business.” What he said denied entirely what she did for a living. God was in control undoubtedly, but she did her share of the work too.

“That's one way to look at it,” she said quietly. But Taryn was smiling with relief.

“How's his mother?” she asked, looking concerned.

“Collapsing, but fine. I took her to the gatehouse.”

“You'd think she'd rather stay at a hotel, with some service, at her age,” Coop said grandly. As always, he looked as immaculate and as elegant as he had that morning, when he left to do the commercial.

“Maybe she can't afford it,” Alex said practically, “and she's not as old as we expected.”

Coop seemed surprised though not particularly interested in the entire drama. He'd had enough of it. “How old is she?”

“I don't know. She looks about forty-two, forty-three, forty-five tops maybe… but she must be in her early fifties.”

“She's fifty-three,” Taryn supplied. “I asked her. She looks amazing. She looks more like his sister.”

“Well, at least we don't have to worry about her
falling and breaking a hip at the gatehouse,” Coop teased. He was happy the entire story was over, and relieved for Jimmy of course, but he disliked melodrama. Now they could all go back to normal. “Well, what are we all doing tomorrow?” he asked happily. He had made some money, and he was in fine spirits. And now Jimmy was going to be fine too. Even Coop was pleased for him, and Alex was relieved to see that he cared.

“I'm working,” Alex said, laughing.

“Again?” He looked disappointed. “How boring. I think you should take a day off and we'll go shopping on Rodeo.”

“I'd love that,” Alex smiled at him, he was so loving and boyish at times, it was hard to stay angry at him. She had been upset with him over the whole incident with Jimmy. It was a side of him that had surprised her, and recognizing what he couldn't handle and didn't feel really hurt. “I think the hospital would be a little upset if I didn't show up for work because I went shopping. That would be a tough one to explain.”

“Tell them you have a headache. Tell them you think there's asbestos in the place and you're going to sue.”

“Maybe I'll just go to work,” Alex laughed at him. And at midnight they all went to bed. She and Coop made love, and she kissed him as he slept when she left for work the next morning. She had forgiven him his lack of sympathy for Jimmy. Some people just couldn't handle emergencies or medical problems. They were so familiar to her that it was hard for her to understand it. But not everyone could do what she
did, she told herself. She felt a powerful need to make excuses for him. She was willing to give him a break on this one. In fact, for her own sanity, she needed to. Love, in her eyes at least, was about compassion, compromise, and forgiveness. Coop's definition might have been a little different. It was about beauty, elegance, and romance. And it had to be easy. Therein lay the problem. In Alex's mind, love wasn't always easy. But it had to be for Coop. It was a serious glitch.

She stopped in to see Jimmy during lunch that day. His mother had just gone to the cafeteria for a sandwich, and they chatted for a minute about how great she was. Alex said she loved her, and Jimmy agreed with her. He was lying quietly on his bed, and they were going to move him out of the ICU by the next morning.

“Thanks for hanging around while I was out cold. Mom says you were with her all day yesterday. That was nice of you, Alex. Thank you.”

“I didn't want her to be alone here. That's pretty scary for anyone,” she said, looking at him, and then decided to brave it. He was well enough for her to ask the question that had been tormenting her since it had happened. “So what was with the accident? I assume you hadn't been drinking.” She was sitting very close to him, and he took her hand in his without thinking.

“No, I hadn't… I don't know, I guess the car got out of control. Old tires… old brakes… old something…”

“Is that what you wanted?” she asked softly. “Did you make it happen or did you let it?” Her voice was almost a whisper as he paused for a long moment and looked at her.

“To be honest with you, Alex, I'm not sure I've asked myself the same question. I was in a daze… I was thinking about her…it was her birthday on Sunday…. I think for just a fraction of a second, I let it happen. I think I started to skid, and I just let it go, and when I tried to stop it, I couldn't, and then it was all over, and I woke up here.” It was exactly what she suspected. And he looked as horrified as she felt as she listened. “It's a hell of an admission. I wouldn't ever do it again, but for that one second, I just threw it to the Fates… and fortunately, they threw it right back at me.”

“You took a hell of a chance,” she said sadly. It hurt her to think that he was in that much pain, and had been for a long time. It was a terrible way to learn a lesson. He had confronted all his own miseries and terrors, and lived to tell it. “I think some good therapy is in order.”

“Yeah. So do I. I'd been thinking that lately anyway. I can't stand feeling like this anymore. I felt like I was drowning, and I couldn't come back up to the surface. It sounds crazy to say it,” he said as he looked at his casts and the monitors, “I actually feel better now.” And he looked it.

“I'm glad to hear it,” Alex said with relief, “I'm going to keep an eye on you now. I'm going to ride your ass till I see you jumping for joy all the way down the drive from the gatehouse.”

He laughed at the vision she'd created. “I don't think I'm going to be doing a lot of jumping.” He was going to be in a wheelchair for a while, and then on crutches. His mother had already volunteered to stay
and take care of him for the duration. The doctors thought that in six or eight weeks he'd be walking. He was already fretting about going back to work as soon as he could manage, which was a good sign. “Alex,” he said cautiously, “thanks for caring. How did you know what happened?” he asked, impressed that she had figured out the part he himself had played in the accident. She was a very caring person.

“I'm a doctor, remember?”

“Oh yeah, that. But preemies don't drive cars off cliffs, generally speaking.”

“I just figured. I don't know why, but I knew the minute Mark told me. I think I felt it.”

“You're a smart woman.”

“I care about you a lot,” she said seriously, and he nodded. He cared about her too, but he was afraid to say it.

Alex went back to work when his mother returned with her sandwich, and she sang Alex's praises to Jimmy. Valerie was curious about her.

“Mark says she's Cooper Winslow's girlfriend. Isn't he a little old for her?” his mother asked with interest. She hadn't met Coop yet, but she knew who he was, and had heard a lot about him from both his tenants and Alex.

“Apparently, she doesn't think so,” Jimmy answered.

“What's he like?” his mother asked, munching turkey on whole wheat. Jimmy was still on a soft diet, and watching her made him hungry. It was the first time in a long time that he actually remembered being hungry. Maybe what he had said was right, he thought
to himself, maybe he had finally exorcised his demons. He had gone right to the edge and jumped off, and, no thanks to himself, had landed safely. Maybe in a crazy way, the accident would prove to be a blessing in the end.