Authors: Brenda Minton
He’d built a house on the Circle M a few years ago. It was a decent house, big enough for two guys—himself and Caleb.
Mia put a cup of water in the microwave. They didn’t talk. She leaned against the counter, sighing once. Ignoring him, definitely. In all the years he’d known her, they’d never had a moment like this. Their relationship had always been easy, comfortable.
Not that he had been blind. He’d always known she was beautiful. But she’d always been more like a little sister to him. It had been a code of sorts. A guy didn’t mess with little sisters, even the gorgeous ones.
“Mia?”
“I’ve thought about selling my place and moving here, to this apartment.” She opened the microwave, took out the cup of water, and dunked a tea bag in it. She continued without looking at him. “I don’t know, maybe this would be too close to everyone.”
“Maybe.”
“Do you want coffee?” she offered. He shook his head. Together they walked through the apartment and out the back door to the small, privacy-fenced yard. They sat next to each other on a glider bench that rocked a little beneath their weight.
“When I think of the future, I think of Dawson. I don’t even think about myself on the job. Tomorrow I should know more.”
After her doctor’s appointment.
“There’s always...”
With a look she stopped him. “Do
not
say desk work. I’m a field officer. Undercover is what I do, Slade.”
“I know. But it’s a hard life.”
“I think I know that better than anyone.”
He sometimes wondered who she had been forced to become when she lived undercover. He wondered how undercover officers shrugged it off and went back to their real life, their real identity. If he had to guess, he would say with a lot of counseling and help from the people who loved them.
“Mom is making spaghetti. Do you want to stay for dinner?”
Her offer surprised him. But he couldn’t stay. “I told my sister Eve that I’d bring home dinner from Vera’s.”
Silence again. Slade watched as Mia toyed with her cup, her thoughts somewhere other than there with him.
“What will you do?” he asked.
“Good question. I guess I’ll say goodbye to a degree and a career. Maybe I’ll raise a few horses.”
“Settle down?”
“That’s funny, Slade. What, me get married, cook pot roast and raise a few kids? You know me better than that.”
“Yes, I know you.” And even he could hear the change in his voice. She looked up, questions in her dark eyes, a spark of humor there, too.
She reached for his hand and lifted it, surprising him with a swift kiss on his knuckles. “Don’t stop being my friend.”
“I think you know I won’t.”
“I’ve never had a real relationship. When have I ever dated? High school, too busy with horses. College, too busy studying. After college? I guess I have a portfolio of on-the-job relationships, most of whom I could never bring home to meet the family.” She laughed a little and he smiled. “I did date one agent who, I came to find out, had a hard time dealing with a female agent. He didn’t like that I carried a gun and could shoot better than he did.”
“His loss.”
“Very true. Who wouldn’t want a woman who could protect him in a tough situation?”
The mood had lightened and he breathed a little easier. “I know I’d be glad to have a woman who could keep me safe.”
“I’m going to remember that.” She pushed herself to her feet. “I should go up to the house.”
He picked up her cup and followed her inside. A few minutes later they walked out of the now-quiet barn. The lights had all been dimmed.
Mia stopped at his truck. “The other day Caleb mentioned a party at school. He needs cupcakes.”
“Thanks for reminding me. I tend to forget those things. I’ll get some from the store.”
Her hand rested on his arm and she stared at the ground, not at him. “I’ll bake them. Or maybe I’ll have mom bake them. My cooking skills are limited and more so right now.”
“You don’t have to do this.”
“What, be a part of his life or bake the cupcakes? I want both, Slade. I know I’ve been missing in action for a few years, but for now, I’m home. And if you want, I can go to the party, too.”
“No, that’s okay. I can drop the cupcakes off.”
She sighed and her hand moved down his arm to his hand. Her fingers laced through his. “Slade, he asked me to go to the party.”
“He asked you?” Slade needed a minute to process this.
“He wants someone at the party because the other kids have... Slade, I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be. It’s just that...” He didn’t want to admit it, but sometimes grown men cried. Or at least teared up a little. And his son needing a mom at a school party had to be one of those moments. “Mia, I should have thought...”
Her hand squeezed his. “You can’t think of everything, Slade. You’re doing a great job with him. You’re there in his life, loving him. He’s a little boy and he sees everyone else at school, and...”
Slade took off his hat and drew in a deep breath. “I should go to the party. I should have thought about this.”
“I don’t mind going. I’d actually love to go.”
“I don’t want him to get the wrong idea.”
“He won’t. I’ll make sure he knows that I’m doing this because I’m his friend.”
He pulled the keys out of his pocket and opened the door of his truck. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re home.”
She stepped back and he got in the truck.
Friends. He tried to put her in that category as he drove away from the barn. She’d been his friend for years. Now she was Caleb’s friend.
That ought to make him feel good, but when he tied it together with the memory of kissing her, it just didn’t quite match up.
Because he wanted to kiss her again.
Chapter Eight
S
lade glanced at the clock on the dining room wall. Mia had called last night after he left Cooper Creek to tell him she’d meet him at his place this morning. To make it easier.
“Caleb, buddy, the bus is going to be here soon.” Slade buttoned his shirt as he walked down the hall. He peeked in Caleb’s room. “What are you doing?”
“I gotta take something to school for show-and-tell.” Caleb slipped something in his pocket but his cheeks turned red and his blue eyes darted, not making contact.
“What have you got in there, a lizard or something?”
Caleb shook his head fast and grabbed his backpack. “The bus is going to be here.”
“Right. And you aren’t going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on.”
“Mia’s going to be here.”
“Caleb, hand it over. I’ll have Aunt Eve take you to school if you don’t ’fess up now.”
He glanced at his watch. They had ten minutes before the bus got there.
Caleb put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a photograph. Slade didn’t have to see it to know who was in the picture. He sat down on the bed next to his son and Caleb handed it over with a frown.
“Show-and-tell, Caleb?”
“One of the kids said I didn’t have a mom. That I hatched from an egg.”
“Who said that?” Somehow he kept his voice from shaking as his temper spiked. He didn’t know if he was mad at some kid or mad at himself for messing things up.
“I don’t want to get him in trouble.” Caleb’s voice wobbled. He didn’t look at Slade. He sat on the bed and rubbed his finger over the red car on his backpack.
“Okay, don’t tell me who. But you had a mom and she loved you a lot, Cay. You were everything to her, to us.”
“I guess.”
But he wanted to be like the other kids, with more than pictures. Slade got that. Vicki had been gone before Caleb could even have memories. Slade wrapped an arm around his son and held him tight.
“You take the picture to school if that’s what you need to do. But promise me you’ll talk to me next time. Anytime you have questions about anything, I’m here.” He didn’t want his son to think he had to hide things. But he kind of guessed he hadn’t been an open book. “Cay, I’m sorry if I’ve let you down.”
Caleb looked up, his blue eyes intent, but he didn’t say anything. Slade held out the picture and his son took it and shoved it into the small pocket on the front of the backpack.
“Remember, I won’t be here when you get home.”
Caleb nodded. “’Cause you’re going to the doctor with Mia. Is she okay?”
“Yes, she’s good. And when you have the party at school, she’s going to be there and bring cupcakes.” There, he’d said it and now he couldn’t back out.
“Cool!” Caleb jumped up, then turned quick to hug Slade. “Thanks, Dad. The guys will think it’s cool because she has a gun and got shot!”
“Whoa, Caleb, that’s not exactly the way you need to introduce Mia, okay? She isn’t something you bring to show-and-tell.”
“But she’s cool.”
“Yeah, she’s cool but I don’t think she wants you to talk about what happened to her.”
“Okay, I won’t.”
“Thank you.” Slade cleared his throat. “I hear the bus.”
He followed Caleb down the hall to the front door. The bus stopped at the end of the drive. Caleb ran out, backpack flapping against his side. He stopped at the edge of the drive, waved and then climbed the steps of the big yellow bus. He was in kindergarten. When had that happened? Slade stood in the door, watching until the bus disappeared from sight. Still no sign of Mia.
He walked back into the house, needing a few minutes to finish getting ready. In his room, his gaze landed on the one picture of Vicki he hadn’t boxed up—their wedding picture. He picked it up, staring into the open face of a woman who had kept him smiling. She’d been nineteen, he’d been almost twenty-one when they said their “I dos.”
Mia had been the one and only bridesmaid. Reese had been his best man.
A truck came down the road. He spotted it through the open curtains. Mia’s truck. He walked into the bathroom and ran a washcloth over his face to get rid of the last of the shaving cream he hadn’t washed off before he’d had to get Caleb moving.
“Anyone here?” Mia’s voice, muffled by walls.
“Be there in a second.”
He splashed aftershave on his cheeks, wincing when it hit a nick. He found Mia in the dining room, standing in front of the French doors that looked out on the back deck he’d never really done much with. No shrubs, no flowers and only a few folding chairs.
“You could use some patio furniture out there.”
“Yeah, one of the things I never get around to.” He poured coffee into a travel mug. Mia moved away from the door. She was wearing a long skirt that swished around tanned legs and a dark blue top that fell to her hips. He took a sip of coffee and looked away.
“I have to go by the field office.”
He picked up his keys and cell phone. “No problem.”
“They have questions about Butch, about Nolan Jacobs’s claim that money is missing.”
“Mia, this is going to work out. They’ll figure out who took it.”
“I hope so.”
They walked out the front door and he locked it behind them. He hadn’t always locked the doors but with the economy the way it was, sometimes people got desperate. He’d been on too many calls lately to be careless.
“I can drive my truck,” he offered.
“No, drive mine. It needs to be driven and I filled up the gas tank on the way over.”
He opened the passenger-side door for her. She gave him a look but got in with a quiet “Thank you” and no real grief over his being a gentleman. If she said anything, he’d have to tell her that he’d open the door every time because he was more scared of his mother than he was of her.
They drove in silence for a long time. Mia had closed her eyes. Slade turned the radio to a country station that played more music, less news. Or so they said. The first song out was something by Keith Urban. A new song about being willing to give up his life for the one he loved.
“Turn it off.” Mia spoke into the quiet, only the radio playing.
Slade agreed, turned off the station. The words to the song probably brought up too many memories for both of them.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice still soft.
“I get it.” He glanced her way and reached for her hand.
An hour later they were pulling into the parking lot of the medical clinic. Mia sighed and reached for her fringed purse.
“I can take it from here.”
“I’m going in with you.” Slade pulled the keys out of the ignition. “Did you think I meant to drive you into town and drop you off?”
“I don’t know.”
They met at the front of the truck. Slade had left his white hat in the truck. He brushed his hand through his hair, smoothing the ridges left by the hat. Mia smiled up at him.
“You look fine.”
He could have told her the same thing. He didn’t.
“I told Caleb this morning—” he walked next to her “—that you’re going to the party with him. I told him you’d be there.”
“Oh.”
They stopped at the doors of the clinic. An older man walked out, pushing his wife in a wheelchair. The wife smiled and waved at them.
“Honeymoon accident.” The woman giggled and indicated her casted foot.
Slade smiled at the lady and her announcement.
“Um, congratulations?” Mia smiled at the couple and the husband winked.
“Been married a month. She slipped on the deck of our sailboat.”
The conversation ended, the newlyweds continued toward a sedan in the handicapped parking space. Mia looked at Slade and he had to laugh.
“Sometimes lightning strikes twice,” he offered.
“I’ve heard if a person is hit once, they’re more likely to get hit again.”
“I don’t know.” And then they were at the reception window and he had serious doubts. He’d loved Vicki with his whole being. How could he love that way again when he’d already given all of his heart to the woman he thought he’d spend his life with? How did a guy get that lucky twice?
* * *
Mia walked out of the doctor’s office an hour later with a sling, no splint and an arm that was pale and starting to atrophy from lack of use. Slade stood when she walked through the doors of the waiting room.
“How’s it feel?”
She wiggled her fingers and blinked when tears stung her eyes. “Let’s go.”
“Okay.” His hand touched her back and he guided her from the building into bright September sunshine. “Mia?”
“I can’t talk.” She walked away from him, wiping at her eyes, angry with herself for crying.
“Mia.”
Slade walked up behind her, catching her and holding her tight against the solid wall of his chest. She turned into his embrace and his arms circled her, strong, reassuring, comforting. That might have made her angry, too, that she needed comforting.
She wanted to stomp her foot and get mad at the situation, not give in to it.
She didn’t cry, though. She rested her cheek on the soft cotton of his shirt, heard his steady heartbeat close to her ear. And called herself a cheat.
She backed out of his embrace. “I’m fine.”
“Of course you are. You’re Mia and you’re always fine.”
“When have you ever known me to not be fine?”
“Well, if we’re being honest...”
“Stop. I’m fine.”
“What did the doctor say?”
“Well, for starters, I’m probably going to have to get a truck that’s an automatic because I’m not going to be able to shift.” She swallowed fast as tears threatened again. “And I’ll probably need to perfect this left-handedness.”
“I see.” He opened the truck door.
She climbed in and reached across to grab the seat belt and when she tried to shove it in the buckle the tears released. “I can’t...”
“Let me.”
“No.”
She shoved it into the buckle as Slade held the metal steady.
“You can let me help you. Tell me what the doctor said.”
“The nerve damage is severe. With time and physical therapy, maybe more surgery, I’ll regain some strength and mobility.” She repeated what she’d been told and looked away, at the city that had been her home away from home for the past few years.
“That’s a start. And I know you. You’re going to fight this.”
“I’m so tired.”
“I know.”
She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I haven’t slept in weeks. When it wasn’t hurting, I was having nightmares.”
“We’ll have to fix that.”
“How?” She looked at him, waiting for some brilliant suggestion. She thought of some sarcastic replies that even she wouldn’t appreciate.
“I’ll think of something.”
“Okay, so now we have to go to the office. I’m not ready for this. I’m exhausted.”
“When we’re finished we’ll get lunch.”
She nodded, but she didn’t want to think about lunch, about the interview or about the counseling session.
A short drive later they parked and got out of the truck again. Mia approached Slade slowly, afraid of being weak and needing him, afraid she was confusing her emotions. Maybe she did need counseling.
Once upon a time, they’d both been young, free from scars, thinking the world couldn’t hurt them. They stood facing each other now and she wanted to touch the fine lines at the corners of his eyes that crinkled when he smiled. She wanted to trace her fingers through the subtle gray in his hair.
She had a strange urge to put her hand on his heart, to know if it beat unevenly when broken. She turned and headed toward the office.
“I’m not sure how long this will take.” They were in the elevator going up.
“It’s okay.”
“You don’t have to wait here.”
“I don’t mind. I’m sure they have somewhere I can wait.”
The elevator doors opened. Tina stood there, one of her two children close to her side, her pregnant belly very obvious in the light yellow sundress. She was young and pretty. Her smile dissolved when she saw Mia.
“Tina, how are you?”
Tina looked down at the little boy who was probably too young to know what was happening. “I’m good. I had to come in. They’re asking a lot of questions. Mia, I don’t know what to tell them.”
“The truth, Tina.”
“I told them everything I know.” Her hand rested on her belly. “I have to go.”
“Do you have family here to help you when the baby comes?”
Tina shook her head. “No, but I’m good.”
“I can be here for you. Please, I want to be here.”
Tina touched her arm. “Mia, it wasn’t your fault.”
Mia couldn’t respond to that. She struggled every day, feeling guilty for being alive, guilty for not acting faster. If she could have saved Butch...
“Mia, Butch wouldn’t want you to feel this way.”
“But I do. And I want to be there for you. Anything at all, just let me know.”
“Okay, I will.”
A door opened. She glanced to the right, saw her supervisor and he wasn’t smiling. “I have to go. But, Tina, I’ll call you. If you need anything, I’m here.”
Mia left Slade and walked down the hall to her supervisor’s office. He motioned her in, not smiling, not giving anything away. Dread tightened as if a clamp had been attached to her heart, to her lungs.
“Mia, take a seat.”
She did.
“How’s the arm?”
She shrugged. “It’s been better.”
“And you?”
“I’m getting better, too. I’m not sure if I can come back. Jay, I’m not sure.”
“Mia, take your time. We need to discuss how this operation got compromised. Did you ever leave the op and meet with a civilian?”
She shook her head. “No, why?”
“Mia, did you know that Butch had met with Tina?”
She closed her eyes and shook her head again. Her temples throbbed and she wished she could escape all this. “No. He wouldn’t have.”
“He did. We’re doing a full investigation, but we’re having a hard time finding our guy on the inside. We think he has the money and somehow made it look like Butch took the cash,” her supervisor explained.
The man he spoke of, the one on the inside, had been one of Nolan Jacobs’s men they’d baited and caught. They’d been using him for information.
“We knew he was a liability from the beginning.” Mia hadn’t trusted the whole situation.