The Cowboy Rescues a Bride (Cowboys of Chance Creek) (5 page)

An idiot.

Ned dropped her hands and backed away until he felt the handle of the door at his back. He was always blowing it. He was good for nothing. Hell, he’d scared the woman he loved. Filled with self-loathing, he yanked the door open, rushed through it and slammed it behind him. Outside, he paced in circles on the sidewalk, his anger only spiraling higher. He was such an idiot—a goddamned idiot. How could he make such a mistake?

The door opened behind him and Jake strode out. “It isn’t your fault and it’s not over,” he said.

“The hell it isn’t. You saw her!”

“I saw a girl who’s trying to put her life back together. I saw someone who’s overwhelmed in the moment, but like you always say, she’s a fighter. She’ll pull through. Give her time to get used to the idea and she’ll come to love it.”

“I wanted her to love it now.”
I wanted her to love me now
. He kept that last thought to himself. Jake wouldn’t understand.

“She’ll never love it if you don’t get back in there and show her why she should.”

Ned came to a halt. What the hell did that mean?

“Get back inside,” Jake told him, pulling the door open again. “Get yourself under control and give her the grand tour.”

Fila used every
trick she’d ever learned to stop her tears and bring her emotions back under control. She imagined herself a pillar of stone. Impassive. Enduring. Untouched by even the winds that scoured the mountains in the worst of storms.

Stones don’t cry.

How often had she told herself that during the years she was away? Stones don’t cry. They can’t be hurt. They can be weathered, but never changed. She had become stone during those years. She had remained standing no matter what they’d thrown at her.

She could do it again today.

She had to do it again today; she couldn’t let these people who loved her down.

As Autumn and Morgan crowded around her, she rubbed her sleeve across her eyes and forced a smile to her lips. “It’s beautiful,” she said, pressing down against the swirl of terror that threatened to overwhelm her. “I can’t believe you did all this for me.” Her fake smiles elicited real smiles of relief as all her friends relaxed again.

The front door opened and Jake came back in, followed by a subdued Ned. As he approached, she made herself smile up at him too, knowing he had tried to help, no matter how far he’d gone astray.

This is a good man
, she told herself.
This is a man who cares
. But she found herself wishing for her burka again, wanting to slip into a crowd of blue-clad bodies and disappear.

“I’m sorry if I pushed you. You don’t have to run a restaurant.” He stood with his fists shoved in his pockets.

Fila shook her head vehemently. “It’s wonderful.” Her voice was strained, but as clear as she could make it. “I am so grateful.”

“I don’t want your gratitude, I want—” He cut off. “I want you to be happy. I want you to feel like this is your home. Here in Chance Creek.”

Tears pricked her eyes again, but this time there was joy mixed in with her sorrow. Somehow this cowboy cared for her—a warped, battered woman who was so far from whole as to be barely functional. What could he possibly see in her to make her worth his while? Whatever it was, she had to live up to it.

“We’ll all keep helping you,” Mia said. “Everyone wants to help you be a success.”

Fila just nodded. What could she say?

“Grab a table, everyone.” Morgan took charge. “Let’s show her what it will look like when it’s up and running.”

“I’ll man the cash register,” Mia called out and nearly bounced to take her place at the till.

The rest of her friends found places at the tables and in the booths as Fila watched them, clutching her hands tightly together. When there was someone at almost every table they turned to her. Their expressions were hopeful—like children waiting for praise.

“Well? What do you think?” Jake said, grinning widely.

For one brief second Fila could picture it. The tables crowded with talking, laughing patrons, music filling the air, the aroma of Afghan cooking wafting from the kitchen, Mia chatting up a customer at the till.

The vision rang so real and so true that for one moment she thought she could do it. Her heart surged. She could be a part of this. She could feed these people. She could stir her love and thankfulness and gratitude into every bite she put on their plates. She took in Ned’s hopeful expression, the worry and hope warring in his eyes. She could do this, with his help. With everyone’s help.

“Yes,” she said. “It’s wonderful.”

As the room erupted in cheers and whoops, Ned swooped her into his arms, lifted her off her feet and twirled her around. “I knew you’d love it!” He pulled her close and kissed her on the mouth.

The cheering cut off abruptly. Fila’s breath caught. Ned pulled back, seemed to realize what he’d done, and let go.

Fila staggered back until Hannah caught her. The room tilted under her feet, as the rest of their friends broke into an excited chatter.

“Fila?” Ned leaned toward her again. “Fila? Are you all right?”

She tried to nod, but her head spun too much to manage it. She saw him bend down, saw the floor come up to meet her.

Then everything went dark.

‡
Chapter 6

“I
’ve never seen
a man knock a woman out cold with a kiss before,” Jake said to Ned. They were sitting in the living room of his cabin while Hannah tucked Fila into her bed. She’d revived quickly at the restaurant, but it was apparent to everyone the party was over for the night. He’d brought her straight home while the others had closed up the place. Jake, Hannah, Luke and Mia had followed right after him to help.

“I thought the kiss was supposed to wake the girl up,” Luke drawled. “Fila’s like a reverse Sleeping Beauty. Or maybe you’re just not the right prince.”

“Luke!” Mia elbowed him.

Ned surged to his feet and paced the cramped room. He wanted to be Fila’s prince, but Jake and Luke were right—it wasn’t going so well.

“She’ll be fine. We should have known that surprising her wasn’t very smart,” Jake said.

They all looked up as Hannah came down the stairs.

“She’s resting.” Hannah sat by Jake and leaned against him. He twined his fingers with hers and Ned squashed a rush of jealousy. Jake and Rob both had wives who loved them. Luke would win Mia over sooner or later by the looks of things. Why was he the one life never worked out for?

“Give her time,” Jake said.

Hannah smiled up at him. “That was some kiss.”

With an impatient sound, he strode to the kitchen, trying to shut out Hannah and Mia’s giggles. Why, oh why had he kissed Fila in front of everyone? Bad enough that she didn’t want him—now everyone knew all about it.

“We’ll keep gathering pots and pans and dishes for the restaurant,” Hannah called after him. “I still think it’s a great idea, Ned. You just have to be patient.”

Sure. He could be patient. Ned opened the refrigerator and grabbed a beer. Struggled with an urge to dash it onto the floor.

Maybe.

Fila was up
before Ned the next morning. She slipped downstairs on silent feet, showered, dressed, checked her reflection in the mirror until she was sure all was right.

Ned had kissed her.

He’d kissed her.

Autumn was right; the tall, wonderful cowboy was sweet on her. And what had she done to show her appreciation for the fact that he took her to dinner, leased her a restaurant, renovated it—and kissed her?

She’d fainted dead on the floor.

Probably not the reaction he’d hoped for.

She’d tossed and turned all night thinking about that kiss, about the brush of his lips against hers, the heat and desire behind it. In that instant she’d gotten a flash of what it could be like with Ned—the passion he could show her, the spark that could kindle between them.

It scared her to death.

It set her on fire.

He had already grown to be special in her eyes. She knew he showed her a side of himself he showed to few others. That was fitting since he saw things about her no one else knew. Who else brought out her shy sense of humor? Who else knew how much she loved music?

Who else would look at her and see something worth caring for?

She’d given him a shoddy return for all his efforts. This morning she meant to show him that she knew what he’d tried to do and that she appreciated it.

She’d cooked an omelette, toast and sausage for breakfast by the time Ned got to the table. She could see by the rings under his eyes that he hadn’t slept well, either. A pang of self-blame struck her at the realization that it was due to her.

“Morning,” he said when he took in the table set with two places, the pitcher of fresh orange juice and plate fixed with his breakfast.

“Good morning,” she said clearly. “Would you like some toast?” She was determined to live up to the courage he saw in her. She’d begin by speaking up instead of mincing her words like a frightened child.

“Sure thing.”

As she passed him the plate, she took her own seat and faced him boldly across the table. It was still hard to look anyone in the eye, let alone a man, but she knew this was important. “I am sorry about last night. I was so surprised.”

“I’m the one who should say I’m sorry. It was stupid. All of it. I see that now and I’ll do what I can to get rid of the place.”

Fila stilled. “Get rid of it?”

“You’re not ready to run a restaurant and I don’t ever want to make you uncomfortable. You’ll always have a home here. You know that, right? I won’t force you to work and I sure as hell won’t force you to—you know.”

She stared at him until comprehension came. He was talking about the kiss. He wasn’t going to do that again? Loss struck her like a punch to the gut. “I want to run a restaurant.” The words blurted out of her mouth on their own accord.

Ned put down his fork. “I mean it, Fila. You don’t have to work. You don’t owe me anything.”

“I want to,” she said. And suddenly she realized it was true. She did want to. She wanted to earn an income. She wanted to stand on her own two feet.

She wanted to be the kind of woman Ned wanted to kiss.

“Are you sure?” His brow furrowed. He didn’t believe her.

“I’m sure. It—it will be hard,” she confessed. “But I want to.”

“Okay.” He bent over his meal again as if content to leave things there. It wasn’t enough for Fila, though. That wasn’t all she wanted, but she didn’t know how to say the rest. Couldn’t say it to a man.

Instead, she reached out and touched Ned—just a finger to the back of his hand. She pulled her hand back almost as soon as they connected.

He froze. Looked at her. Put his utensils down.

Slowly reached out and took her hand.

And held it.

Fila thought her
heart would thump right out of her chest. He was touching her. Holding her hand.

She was letting him.

Her breathing had gone ragged. Tears pricked her eyes for a reason she barely understood. If he moved or tried anything she would have to break and run, but he didn’t move. Not a millimeter. She was beginning to think he understood her better than she understood herself.

“You can still say no.” Ned’s gaze was direct, but not frightening.

Did he mean to the restaurant? Or to what was happening between them now?

“I don’t want to say no.” She couldn’t pinpoint what changed in his expression at her answer. Not a muscle moved in his face, but she felt his satisfaction. A moment later he let go of her hand and they resumed eating their breakfasts, but Fila knew that everything had changed between them. She had taken his challenge—to reenter the world, to meet him halfway. Now there was no going back.

“Where do you want to spend the morning? Here? Or at the restaurant?” Fila swallowed hard at his questions. “I could drop you at the restaurant with your laptop. I got an internet connection hooked up for you. You could take notes on everything you want to do. Start thinking about a menu, maybe? Morgan said something about you needing to take a food safety course or two. She thinks you can do it online. You could research that, too. What do you think? Should I drive you to the restaurant and come back to pick you up at noon?”

A familiar feeling of panic surged within her. Somehow she’d thought she’d have several days to get used to the idea before anything else new happened. Now she was supposed to spend the entire morning at the restaurant?

“It’ll be just like being here.” Ned stabbed a forkful of sausage. “You can go into the restaurant, lock the door and you’ll be alone until I come to get you. You’ll have your phone with you and there’s music there. Rob got it all set up. You’ll be fine.”

“Okay.” Might as well start now as anytime else.

‡
Chapter 7