The Cowboy's Gamble: Destined For Love Series (21 page)

She was spitting mad, furious, and it showed in the way she struggled out of his grasp. He was stronger, and wasn’t about to let go just yet.

“
I’m
trying to be honest here.” His low voice vibrated with barely suppressed hostility.

“So am I,” she fumed, and tossed her head back. “It’s awfully noble of you to assuage your guilt about your revenge scheme, but I have absolutely
nothing
to feel guilty about!”

“Josie . . .” His tone was gritted with a dangerous warning.

She chose to ignore it. “Let go of me, Seth.” Tears welled in her eyes, and he realized how close she was to falling apart on him. But with a mutinous lift of her chin, she was as formidable as his worst enemy. “In fact, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t touch me at all.”

Her insinuation was unmistakable, and he released her. After two weeks of wedded bliss, they were back to angry adversaries.

Josie turned onto her side on the narrow bed in the guest bedroom and drew the extra pillow to her chest, hugging it tightly in attempt to keep herself from falling apart. Physically, the soft cushion did the trick and kept her body from trembling too badly. Emotionally, a mere pillow wasn’t much of an anchor when everything within her was fragmenting into a million pieces.

Seth didn’t believe her. Not eleven years ago, and not now.

He hadn’t said those exact words, but she didn’t need a verbal confirmation to validate the disbelief she’d seen glaring in his eyes. And in that moment, she hated him all over for breaking the fragile heart that had grown to love him again.

She’d all but screamed the truth in his face, offering him her most treasured secret for him to grasp, presenting him with the opportunity to realize that what was hers, also belonged to him. That Kellie was
his
daughter, too.

Instead, he’d opted to believe the worst, that she’d been unscrupulous during their brief affair eleven years ago. He believed the rumors and gossip, and there was nothing left that she could say or do to change Seth’s low opinion of her. The knowledge that her husband would always harbor some kind of resentment toward her hurt, way down deep inside. It was the same misery she’d kept tucked away for eleven long, lonely years.

He’d lied. His admission brought her little comfort, considering how long she’d lived with the pain of believing he’d used her for his own personal revenge on a McAllister, then tossed her aside when she’d needed him the most. She was tired of defending herself, tired of trying to explain the rumors that had ruined her life, and decided she no longer would. She had absolutely nothing to prove to the man she’d been forced to marry.

And that, she realized, was the crux of it all. If it hadn’t been for the Golden M, Seth never would have given her a second glance. He didn’t want a wife, but had been saddled with one anyway. He didn’t want
her
, but was bound to her by the marriage vows they’d both spoken. They would be together, until death did they part, or divorce forced one of them out.

Both of them wanted the Golden M too much to give it up so easily to the other. That thought brought on a spurt of anger. Dammit, this was
her
home, not his! If her father hadn’t so foolishly gambled away the Golden M, she could have been spared this awful degradation Seth was putting her through!

A quick, rapping knock on the door made her heart kick against her ribs. She didn’t respond, didn’t say anything, knowing this late at night it was Seth, not Kellie, who’d come to seek her out. She’d been waiting for him to come back to the main house and discover that she was no longer going to play the submissive wife to his barbarian demands.

“Josie?” he called in a low voice so as not to wake Kellie, who slept in the next room.

She huddled deeper under the covers and didn’t answer, hoping he’d take the hint and leave.

She heard him sigh. A deep, heavy release of breath. “You’re a light sleeper and I know you’re awake. I want you to come back to our room.”

Oh, she just bet he did, the arrogant boar! “No.” Too late, she realized she’d broken the silence, therefore inviting him to respond.

The knob turned, but the door didn’t open. She reveled in a moment of satisfaction; she’d secured the lock before climbing into bed.

“You can’t sleep in there forever.” Frustration edged his voice.

“Don’t bet the ranch on that, cowboy,” she said smugly. “You’d lose. This bed is just the right size for
one
.”

“Josie, you’re being irrational.”

“
I’m
being irrational?” Finding it difficult to be appropriately huffy and indignant lying down, she sat upright in bed and tossed off the covers, glaring at the closed door. “What does that make you? After all but branding me a whore this evening for something you
heard
eleven years ago, you still want me in your bed. How rational is that?”

“I
never
said you were a . . . a whore!”

“It was what you
didn’t
say.”

She heard a soft
thunk
and guessed he was resting his forehead on the wooden door. “Josie, we had a disagreement. All married couples argue. It’s normal, and we can’t resolve things if you shut me out.”

It had been a far more personal issue than a disagreement, not that she’d ever expect him to understand how deeply her pain ran. “According to you, there’s nothing to resolve.” He was right, and she was wrong.

“Dammit, Josie!” he growled in exasperation. “You belong in our bed!”

“Whatever for?” She affected her sweetest voice, just to annoy him further. “Our marriage is consummated, my duty is done, and my half of the ranch secure, so there’s no need for any further intimate relations between us.”

“You’re my
wife
,” he bit out irritably.

She squeezed her eyes shut, refusing to give into the prickling sensation behind her eyes.
She would not cry over Seth O’Connor!
Not ever again.

“You’ve got yourself a business partner, Seth, not a wife,” she said flatly. “That’s the way it should have been from the beginning.”

“Josie, please . . .” A desperate quality touched his voice.

Feeling tired and weary, she sank back onto the mattress. “Go away and leave me alone.”

He must have realized he’d lost that round because he stomped away, cursing under his breath.

Josie just felt lost, period. At the rate she and Seth were going, it was very likely the feud between their families would never end.

Seth slid from Lexi’s saddle, untied the knapsack that held his mid-day meal, and tossed the reins aside so the horse could graze while he took his break. He headed to a shady tree away from the rest of his men, who’d opted for a cooler spot near the creek. Seth glared at Mac as he approached on his own mare, and wondered what the foreman wanted. Couldn’t the old man see that he wasn’t in the mood for company and he was intruding on his brooding time?

From atop his horse, Mac eyed him with an annoying combination of amusement and concern. “You okay, boss?”

“I’m fine,” Seth snapped, bringing out of his knapsack the same boring lunch he’d packed himself for the past week. Two bologna and cheese sandwiches, a can of juice, and an apple. Josie had informed him a business partner wasn’t responsible for his meals, and he was on his own. He scowled at Mac as if his bland lunch was all his fault. “And why do you keep asking me if I’m okay?”

Mac smothered a grin. “Because you’ve been barking orders at everyone for the past five days. The men are just about ready to hog tie you and leave you out on the range for the buzzards to pick at. But before they did that, I told them I’d come on over and see if I couldn’t remove that burr you got stuck under your saddle.”

“Don’t waste your time, old man.” Josie wasn’t your ordinary burr.

Typical of Mac, Seth’s words had no effect on him. The foreman dismounted, grabbed his own lunch and joined Seth beneath the tree. He began unpacking his meal, bringing out a barbeque chicken sandwich, potato salad, and a bowl of fresh mixed fruit. Seth’s mouth watered, and his appetite for his own lunch waned.

Mac ate half of his barbeque chicken before finally breaking the silence with his personal opinion on the matter. “I’m guessing your problem is with Josie.”

Seth forced himself to take a bite of greasy bologna and processed cheese. “That woman is nothing but a thorn in my side.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“No.” What he wanted was Mac’s lunch. “She’s stubborn, mule-headed, and I’m just about at my wits end with her. She blows everything I say out of proportion, puts words in my mouth, and generally hates my guts and is making my life miserable. Maybe I ought to just give her the divorce she wants.” He tossed his half-eaten sandwich onto his knapsack in disgust. So much for not wanting to talk about his problems with Josie.

“You’d give up that easily?” Mac asked neutrally.

“It’s what she wants.” Grabbing his can of juice, he popped the top and chugged the warm liquid in one drink.

“You sure about that?”

Seth caught the delicious scent of homemade potato salad and his stomach growled demandingly. “She’d be the first in line to wave good-bye as I head out the driveway.”

Mac’s easy grin reached his eyes. “She’d miss you.”

Seth’s answer was a disbelieving snort. Bracing his back against the tree trunk, he lowered his Stetson over his eyes, dismissing the foreman, and their discussion, with the promise of a quick nap.

“You obviously don’t see the way the girl looks at you.” Mac rudely ignored his attempts to rest peacefully. “She’s heartsick over you.”

“You’re crazy, old man,” he muttered. If Josie was heartsick, then she had a helluva way of showing it with her brash, I-don’t-give-a-damn attitude.

“All this sun does tend to take its toll,” Mac agreed about the possibility of being mentally unbalanced. “But I’ve known Josie her entire life, and there’s only one other time when she’s looked the way she does now.”

“Please, enlighten me,” he drawled wryly from beneath the brim of his hat. “And tell me when that was.”

“When the two of you broke things off the first time all those years ago.”

Everything within Seth tensed. Slowly, he tipped his hat back and narrowed his gaze on Mac. The man knew entirely too much for his own good. “What happened eleven years ago is different from now.”

He frowned, as if the contrasts eluded him. “You had a fight, didn’t you?”

“Yes.” Frustration steamed in Seth when he recalled his argument with Josie. A wave of anger prompted him to blurt out, “She’s holding things against me that I have no control over!”

Mac savored a succulent slice of peach before asking, “Such as?”

“Rumors,” Seth said, summing up the situation with the word Josie had used repeatedly. “About her.”

“Ahh,” Mac said, as if he had a total comprehension of the situation.

Thing was, Seth had the strange feeling that the wily old man
did
understand.

Silenced passed as Mac leisurely ate a juicy wedge of watermelon. Stomach growling more fiercely than before, Seth rummaged through his knapsack for his own fruit and bit a chunk from his apple. It was dry in comparison to Mac’s fresh selection of fruit.

“You know, I never was one to believe rumors,” Mac said, finally breaking the quiet spell between them.

“I heard the
facts
with my own ears.” He’d told Josie the same thing, but that detail hadn’t seemed to matter to her.

“What kind of facts?”

Seth chose his words carefully, not wanting to be crude, or offend Mac. “That Josie was, well, promiscuous, and I was just an added fling. A father to claim for her unborn child.”

A thoughtful look flickered across Mac’s weathered face as he finished off his fruit. He packed away the remains of his lunch, stretched out on his side on the soft grass, and regarded Seth curiously. “Every wonder who might be at the source of such nastiness?”

Seth’s brows snapped together. “What do you mean?”

Mac slowly shook his head. “For someone who is so smart, you sure don’t know much about women.”

Feeling appropriately insulted, Seth clenched his jaw in indignation. “Get to your point, old man, and fast.”