The Cowboy's Holiday Blessing (6 page)

Now how was peace and quiet such a bad thing?

“I really don't need one.” Madeline had already spotted one. He knew it the minute she smiled.

“That one, right there. The small one?”

She nodded and smiled at him. “Please.”

“You got it, Maddie.”

She didn't correct him this time.

He left the chain saw on the ground and picked up the handsaw he'd brought. It would take about five minutes to cut through the trunk of a little bitty cedar. The part he'd forgotten about was the kneeling down part. That meant him on the ground, cracked ribs and all, pushing a saw back and forth. Through one of the toughest little cedars he'd ever seen.

By the time he finished the second tree, standing up just about wasn't an option.

He backed up, on his hands and knees, inhaling through the sharp pain. Jade had hold of her tree and started dragging it toward the wagon. Madeline stood in front of him.

“Need help?” She didn't smile.

“I'm afraid to admit that I do.” He sat back up, moving into a squatting position that proved to be pretty overrated.

She stood there a long moment and then she reached for his hands. He made it to his feet, holding on to her
as he stretched and the muscles in his back relaxed. Briefly.

“Phew, that was fun.”

She was still holding his hands. She looked up, her eyes wide and deep-down hurt, the kind that took years to heal. Inside those dark eyes of hers he saw the little girl she'd been. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and protect her. He wanted to promise no one would ever hurt her again.

He let go of her hands because he wouldn't be the guy that broke her heart. She needed someone safe and dependable. How was that for being the grown-up, responsible guy? He'd have to share this moment with his dad.

The day Jackson Cooper used self-control.

What in the world had happened to him? Had he grown a conscience? Changed? Maybe all of those prayers uttered at Dawson Community Church on his behalf were suddenly being answered.

He chuckled.

“What?” Madeline had backed away, as if she'd suddenly come to her senses.

“Nothing, just thinking about prayers said on my behalf.”

“What does that mean?”

“Are you going to say you haven't heard my mother or grandmother stand up in church and spill their guts about my life and how I need to come back to God?”

“That isn't really something to joke about.” Madeline's eyes narrowed and he felt very chastised, for a second.

“I'm not joking. I know what they say. I grew up in church.”

“They don't gossip about you, if that's what you think. They love you and worry about you.”

He smiled at her ruffled feathers. “I know. But I'm not so far from God as they all think. I pray. I read my Bible. I'm not dating a different woman every night of the week. I've hardly dated at all in the last six months.” As if she really needed all this information.

They walked side by side back to the wagon. Jackson had pulled on his gloves and he dragged the bigger tree behind him. Madeline stopped him a short distance from the wagon. She put a hand on his arm.

“Why don't you go to church?”

He shrugged. “Got out of the habit, I guess. Years of running around, rodeoing, sowing those wild oats. God and I are working it out.”

“I see. So when they ask for prayers for you on Sunday, should I tell them you're good?”

He grinned. “One of these days I'll show up and prove it myself.”

“That would be nice. You know it breaks your mother's heart that you're not in church.”

“I'm not the only one.”

“I know. She wants all of her children in church with her.”

“Have you always gone to church?” He lifted the cedar tree and tossed it into the back of the wagon. Jade had a stick and she tossed it for Bud to fetch. He watched her for a minute, wondering how much of her story was true. She didn't seem to be a heartbroken kid. Instead she acted as if she might be on the adventure of a lifetime.

“She's a cute kid.”

“Yeah, she is.” What in the world should he do with her? He couldn't just move a kid into his house and be
her dad. He hadn't been sitting around his house thinking he wanted a kid cluttering up his bathroom, leaving dirty clothes on the floor and asking for money to go to the movies.

He watched her hug his dog when the heeler jumped up, front paws on her stomach. Truth time. He'd been thinking a lot lately about how empty his life had become.

“She's just looking for a family.” Madeline's voice sounded wistful to him.

“I know.”

“She admitted she researched your family when she found the birth certificate. A real family, that's what she wanted.”

“So where is her mom?”

Madeline looked from the girl to him. “Try Oklahoma City.”

“Gotcha.” He whistled, and Bud came running back. Jade loped after him, her cheeks red from running and playing in the cold.

“Time to go?” She looked in the back of the wagon. “Where do I ride?”

“Up here with us.”

She grinned big and climbed into the seat. He stood behind Madeline and waited for her to get situated and then he climbed up, sitting next to her. They were pushed together by Jade on the end of the bench seat.

Madeline swallowed, he saw her throat bob, saw a flicker of a pulse in her neck. If ever a woman needed a man who would make her feel safe, it was this one.

She needed a Prince Charming, someone like his brother Blake. Yeah, Blake wouldn't hurt a woman. He'd set her up in a nice house at the edge of Dawson. He'd buy her a pretty diamond ring and bring her flow
ers. Blake was a cold fish, though. For good reasons, Jackson figured, but still, his big brother needed to learn how to let go.

He'd have to do one better than that for Madeline. She needed someone. He smiled down at her. But not him.

T
he horses picked up the pace on the way back to the barn. Their easy trot jangled the harness. Madeline sat sandwiched between Jade and Jackson. She shivered, not because of the cold, but because of him. She closed her eyes and breathed in the cold air.

Jackson drove the team past the barn and to the front door of the house. “I'll unload the tree and take the horses back to the barn.”

“Where are your decorations?” Jade nearly bounced from the seat as they pulled up to the house and the team came to a jarring halt.

Madeline grabbed the girl and held her in the seat.

Next to her, Jackson pushed his hat back a notch. “Well now, that's a good question. I guess I hadn't thought about decorations.”

“You have to have decorations,” Jade insisted, hopping down from the wagon and joining the dog who had already done the same.

“No, not really. I haven't put a tree up in years. Let's take it inside and when I go to the barn I'll look in the storage shed.”

Jackson eased himself down from the wagon, not as
quickly as before. Madeline filed away that information about him, because it changed who he was in her mind. Jackson Cooper, selfless? Willing to put himself through all kinds of agony in order to ensure a child had a Christmas tree?

He was the man holding his hand out, offering help getting down from the wagon. She could refuse and do it herself, looking stubborn and a little silly. Or rude. She could take his hand and risk everything.

Risk what? She bit down on her bottom lip and his hand still reached for hers. She nodded and stepped over the side of the wagon. His hand touched her waist, her arm. She landed gently on the ground. When she looked up it was into hazel eyes that danced with laughter.

Smile, she told herself, make it easy. Jackson Cooper dated tall, leggy blondes and polished brunettes. He didn't date mousy schoolteachers. She knew the drill. She would always fit the role of person most likely to help. She had always been the one a guy called if he thought she could help him hook up with someone else. And she had always liked filling that spot, because it didn't hurt so much if expectations were low. It didn't hurt if you didn't get too close.

As she stood there gathering herself, he opened his mouth as if he meant to say something. But he didn't.

“We'll make hot chocolate.” She stepped away, turning to go inside.

“I'll be right back.” He walked to the front of the wagon and took hold of the first horse in the team. “If you want hot chocolate there's a mix in the cabinet. Mom makes it every winter.”

“Thank you.”
Say something smart and witty,
she pushed herself. But she'd never been the smart, witty
type. She'd never been the flirty one, batting her eyelids or saying cute things. She'd been the bookworm, hiding behind glasses and her studies.

She'd been the one hiding from life, protecting herself.

How in the world had this become her life? Laughter and a barking dog reminded her. A mix-up had dropped a child in her life and somehow tied her to Jackson Cooper. She could have dropped Jade off yesterday and driven away, not looking back, not thinking she had an obligation of any kind. Somewhere out there Jade, more than likely, had a mother who wanted her back.

“Let's go inside.” She motioned for Jade as she walked up the steps.

As she walked through the front door of the house she did what she knew to do. She put all of her crazy emotions in a box and shoved them to the back of her mind.

“Do you think he has any cookies?” Jade followed behind her with the dog, who left muddy paw prints on the wood floor.

“I think the dog should stay outside.” Madeline pointed to the paw prints.

Jade had already moved on. “Where should we put the tree?”

“It isn't my tree or my house so I'm not going to make that decision.”

Jade glanced at her but didn't seem to be too bothered. “He wouldn't have a tree if it wasn't for us.”

“I'm not even sure why I'm here,” Madeline said out loud.

That got Jade's attention. The girl turned quickly, her eyes widening and her smile dissolving. “I'm sorry. I mean, I guess you probably have other things to do?”

“No, not really.” She would have been at home knitting another scarf. She might have been cleaning her kitchen or reorganizing her cabinets. “Jade, where's your mom?”

Deflecting. Always safe. Not always fair.

Jade's eyes got huge and the color drained from her face. She walked away, the dog right on her heels.

“Jade?”

“It's none of your business. Remember, you're the person who got stuck with me. I came here looking for my dad and instead I'm staying with a lady who sleeps with every light in the house on.”

The front door closed. “Problem here?”

Jackson walked into the living room, carrying a rubber tub with a lid. He'd shed his jacket and was dressed in jeans and a button-up shirt. If he felt the tension, he didn't show it. He took off his hat and hung it on a hook.

“No, there's no problem.” She offered Jade an apologetic smile but the girl walked away.

“Let her go.” Jackson said it in an easy, relaxed voice. “She'll get over it. She's too excited about the tree to stay mad for long.”

“I asked where her mother is,” Madeline admitted. “I thought she might talk to me.”

“Talking isn't always easy.”

“No, it isn't.”

He pulled the lid off the box. “We could get you a dog.”

“Excuse me?”

“It can't be cheap to have all of your lights on all the time.”

She pulled out a string of lights that looked as if they
were from the last century. “What do you know about my lights?”

“I've driven by a few times and wondered.”

“I'm fine.”

He looked up, his hazel eyes asking questions she didn't want to answer.

“Are you really?”

The question made her wonder. Then she answered, and it didn't hurt, it wasn't a lie. “I really am.”

Of course she had doubts. She did sleep with the lights on. But she'd come so far and she'd grown so much. But why did he ask? What did he know about her fear?

She didn't want his sympathy.

“We should go check on Jade.” She backed away from him, but not fast enough. His hand shot out, stopping her escape.

“Jade's fine. She's rummaging through my cabinets and snooping through the kitchen. I'm getting you a dog.”

She shook her head. “I don't need a dog.”

“I'm either going to teach you to shoot a gun, or I'm getting you a dog.”

“I don't really want either.”

His hand still held her arm but he hadn't moved closer. “I know, but trust me on this. There's something kind of nice about coming home to a dog. It makes a house less lonely.”

“I can get my own dog.” It was her last attempt to hold on to independence and to take a stand against a man who had stormed her life as easily as Jade stormed his.

“I owe you for helping me out with Jade.”

“I didn't have to help.”

“No, you didn't.” His hand slid down her arm to her hand. “But I'm glad you did.”

“Jade,” she whispered and glanced back over her shoulder.

“Right, Jade.”

 

Jackson watched Madeline's retreat. He walked a little slower, giving her space, giving himself time to get his head together. What in the world was he thinking?

So she slept with the lights on. When had that become his problem? She'd been his neighbor for over a year. He said hello to her when they passed on the street or bumped into one another walking into the Mad Cow. He'd seen her lights on late at night, and he'd wondered about it. So now he knew and he thought he needed to buy her a dog to make her feel safe?

He needed his head examined.

Bachelor pad. That's what his house had been designed as. He walked into the kitchen and nearly groaned. The two females who had invaded his life were standing shoulder to shoulder mixing milk with his mother's cocoa mix. A plate of cookies had been set out on the counter. It smelled and looked like Sally Homemaker had moved in.

It smelled kind of nice, the combination of hot chocolate, cookies, popcorn and…Madeline's perfume. He leaned against the counter and watched the two of them have what looked like a mother-daughter moment.

“Did you find decorations?” Jade turned, a spoon in her hand. Her eyes sparkled and she smiled. Happy. And she wore it like new clothes, something she'd wanted and never had.

“Not much. I did find a couple of old tree stands.
One for mine, one for the tree you're taking to Madeline's.”

Madeline looked at her watch. “I have to go soon.”

“We have to decorate his tree.” Jade stirred the cocoa and then lifted the spoon to take a sip. Madeline took the spoon from her hand and tossed it in the sink. Jade's mouth opened. “Why'd you do that?”

“I don't want to share germs.”

“Fine.” Jade grabbed another spoon and turned to Jackson again. “We can string the popcorn if you have a sewing kit around here. And maybe make some snowflakes.”

“Sure, why not,” he grumbled as he pulled cups from the cabinet. “Would you like to crochet doilies for my tables?”

Jade laughed and pointed to Madeline. “She can do that.”

Madeline looked away, her cheeks turning crimson. The hot chocolate steamed and she ladled the liquid into the cups he'd set next to the stove.

“I bet she can.” He grinned at Madeline's back because she had turned away from him and was pretending to be busy with the cocoa.

“We need to hurry,” she finally said. “I have practice tonight.”

“Cool. Can I go?” Jade leaned close to Madeline.

“I tell you what, we'll go do something this evening. Madeline has to practice for her part in the nativity. We'll let her do that and you and I will go somewhere.”

“Together?” Jade's eyes lit up and her smile radiated.

“Yeah, together.”

Madeline turned with a cup in her hand. She held it out to him and said nothing. She didn't need to. She needed a break from Jade. She needed a break from
him. He got that. Sometimes he needed a break from himself.

They migrated to the living room with a tray of hot chocolate and cookies. Jade carried the popcorn and the miniature sewing kit he'd found in the cabinet. As they settled down to the task of making decorations, Jackson pushed the tree into the stand and picked up the string of lights.

He unfolded the ladder and headed to the top with lights and a pulled muscle in his back. Madeline looked up from cutting into folded paper to make a snowflake for his tree.

“You okay?” she asked, her eyes narrowing as she watched him.

He looked at the scene below him. A woman and a child making Christmas decorations. His floor strewn with craft paper and ornaments. It looked like a picture from a Christmas card, not a picture from his life. Maybe the life he could have had?

“Yeah, I'm good.”

Thirty minutes later, with the creative talents of Jade and Madeline, the tree changed from the sad Charlie Brown tree they'd dragged in from the field into a real Christmas tree. Jade had even found a prize: a tiny bird's nest leftover from last year. She'd moved it from the inner branches and placed it front and center, filling it with tiny eggs made of colored paper.

“It looks good.” He hadn't contributed much, just a star for the top and the string of lights. But it was a decent-looking tree, even with the big empty space on the side they'd pushed close to the wall.

“Now we have to decorate Madeline's tree,” Jade proclaimed as she hung the last foil star. “She has real decorations.”

“Hey, don't diss my tree.” Jackson plugged in the lights. The strand of multicolored lights flickered and came on.

“I'm just saying.” Jade smiled a cute kid smile. “Anyway, this is a good tree.”

A knock on the door and they all froze. Madeline looked at him, then at Jade. Jackson shrugged and pointed at the dog who had decided to bark his fool head off. Bud sat down, tail wagging, but a menacing snarl still curled his lips.

“I'll be right back.” Jackson touched Jade's head on the way to the door. “Stay in here.”

When he opened the door a police officer stood on his front porch. Jackson stepped out the door and closed it behind him.

“Jackson, Douglas Clark called about the kid you have staying with you.”

“She's not staying here. She's staying with Madeline Patton.”

“I see. Can you tell me who she is and how she came to be here?”

“Well—” he paused because the only thing he had was Jade's birth certificate and her side of the story “—she's my daughter.”

“Jackson, we need to clear this up. You have a minor who could be a runaway. That's not something we can turn our back on.”

“I get that, Lance, but if she's my kid…”

“If she's not?”

“My name is on her birth certificate.”

The officer started to get a grim look on his face. “Jackson, we need to try to contact her mother.”

“Gotcha. What if I promise I'm trying to do that?
Look, I don't want the kid in state custody. Not this close to the holidays.”

“Find her mom.”

“I will.” Jackson stood his ground in the door but Lance didn't turn to leave.

“Jackson, I have to talk to her.”

“We're decorating the Christmas tree.”

Lance laughed at that. Why did everyone find it so amusing when he did anything slightly different? “That's pretty domestic.”

Jackson motioned Lance inside. They'd met on occasion, usually at a fire or an accident that volunteer first responders were called to. That was the thing about a small town, a rural county; people knew each other. They knew stories. They knew where to find someone without getting a map or directions.