The Crown (The Selection) (15 page)

Dad sipped his coffee. “I’ve listened to it for years. I applaud you for trying.”

“Henri’s very sweet,” Mom commented. “Not the direction I was expecting you to go in, but he’ll certainly make you smile.”

“
Pfft
.” Dad turned to her. “What do you know about picking husbands? Last time you tried that, you got stuck with me.”

She smiled and hit his arm.

“You two are so gross, you ruin everything.” I spun and headed toward the door.

“Have a great day, honey,” Mom called after me, and I raised a hand in acknowledgment before pausing by Henri.

“Umm.
Lähteä
?”

He beamed. “Yes! Good, good!” He dropped his napkin by his plate and took my arm.

“Wait up!” Fox called, and Kile was right behind him. “I’m looking forward to this. I think I did pretty well last time.”

“Erik’s such an encouraging teacher. Though you could just be stringing together random sounds, he’d tell you ‘nice try,’” Kile said with a laugh.

I nodded. “Maybe it’s a Swendish thing? Poor Henri was stuck helping me last time, and he had to grab my face because I was making the shapes wrong.” I mimicked the action, and Henri caught on, smiling at us. “But was he bothered? Nope.”

A second after I brought it up, I remembered that Henri and I might have been on the verge of a kiss in that moment. And while I was relieved to see neither of them seemed to have noticed it, I was struck by the fact that I hadn’t thought about that almost kiss at all.

When we got to the library, Erik was already in there, writing on the board.

“Good morning, Professor,” I greeted, walking over him.

“Your Highness. Or do we say Majesty, now?”

“Not yet!” I exclaimed. “Just thinking about that gives me the shivers.”

“Well, I’m thrilled for you. We all are. I mean,
they
all are,” he corrected, nodding toward the Elite, including Hale and Ean, who were walking in behind everyone. “I didn’t intend to lump myself in with them. I just get to see everyone’s reactions up close.”

“Don’t be silly. You’re part of the gang.” I laughed, looking around the room. “Sometimes this feels more like a weird little club than a competition.”

“You’re right. But that doesn’t change the fact that it is.”

His somber tone drew my eyes back to his face, though he was avoiding my gaze. Instead he picked up a handful of papers and gave them to me.

“And how lucky am I to be able to say I got to help the new queen learn Finnish?” His eyes glowed with pride.

I peeked over at the others, watching them choose seats, and stepped a little closer to keep my words between the two of us.

“I’ll miss you, too, you know. When it’s all over. You mean as much as the others. More than some.”

He shook his head. “You shouldn’t say that. I’m not like them.”

“You are exactly like them. As common and as elevated, Eikko.”

He stilled at the sound of his given name, and, just barely, the corners of his lips hitched up into a smile.

“Hey, Eady,” Kile called. “Want to be my partner?”

“Sure.” I walked over to him, and Erik followed.

“We’ll spend a few minutes going over what we learned last week,” Erik began. “Then we’ll move on to some basic conversational questions and answers. I know a few of you were studying other things, and I’m happy to help with any of that, too. For now, let’s go back to the numbers.”

“Okay, here we go.
Yksi
,
kaksi
,
kolme
,
neljä
,
viisi
,” Kile recited proudly.

“How do you do that? I’m so jealous.”

“Practice. What, you don’t have a spare hour to devote to counting in Finnish?”

I laughed. “I’m taking showers at a breakneck speed these days. I miss my time. But it’ll be worth it, getting Mom and Dad a chance to breathe.”

“I feel weird saying I’m proud of you, but I am.” He tried to suppress his grin and failed. “It’s like this lets me know that I’m not falling for some figment of my imagination, that you’re really as smart and selfless and determined as I’ve started thinking you are.”

“As opposed to Eadlyn circa this time last year?” I said slyly.

“Don’t get me wrong, she was a fun girl. Knew how to party, knew how to light up a room. This girl does that and a hundred things more. And I like her. But you already know that.”

“I like you, too,” I whispered. I caught sight of Erik out of the corner of my eye and turned back to the paper. “Eight and nine trip me up because they’re similar but really different at the same time.”

“Okay. Let’s look at those again then.”

Erik walked away, and I felt guilty for wasting this class time when it was something I genuinely wanted to learn.

“Speaking of liking you, I’m sorry I haven’t been able to make much time.”

Kile shrugged. “Don’t worry about me, Eady. I’m still here.” With that he pointed to the paper in front of me, forcing me to focus on the syllables. I watched him exaggerate the shapes of the words with his mouth, all the while feeling grateful for language and time and everything waiting on my horizon.

I pushed open the office door to find Lady Brice on the phone. She waved at me as she continued speaking.

“Yes … yes … one week from today. Thank you!” She plunked down the receiver. “Sorry. Your desk is the biggest, and with the coronation in a week, there’s a lot to take care of. Flowers are ready, the church is booked, we have three designers working on dress options; and if you want Neena to oversee any of that, I’m sure she’d be thrilled.”

I stared at the piles of folders she’d set out. “Did you do all this in a day?”

“More or less.”

I made a face at her, and she grinned before confessing the truth.

“I had a feeling it was coming, so I had a few things hammered out just in case.”

I shook my head. “You know me better than I know myself.”

“Part of the job. Side note,” she said. “I got a call this morning from Marid. He thanked you for his family’s invitation to the coronation but wasn’t sure his parents would be completely welcome.”

“I spoke with Dad. He knew that, right?”

“He did.”

I sighed. “But Marid’s coming?”

“Yes. And once this has all passed and you’re settled in as queen, you can keep reaching out to them if you want.”

I nodded. “If that’s a bridge that can be mended, I want it done.”

“That seems very wise.”

I took a deep breath, basking in the praise. I’d need to keep the kind words I received close to me, like armor, if I was going to survive.

“I’m ready to work. Hit me with it.”

“Actually, I think the best use of your time might be to speak with some of the Elite, or go on a date or something.”

“I was just with them,” I protested. “They’re all fine.”

“I mean more in the one-on-one sense. Besides the coronation details, which you shouldn’t even be bothered with, there’s nothing that can’t wait until Monday. Your professional life is moving forward, and you were the one who said that it went hand in hand with your private life.” She raised her eyebrows at me.

“Okay.”

“Why so glum? If I remember correctly, you think all five of them are front-runners.”

“It’s complicated. The one I most need to talk to might not even want to speak to me.” I sighed. “Wish me luck.”

“You don’t need it.”

I
SAT IN MY ROOM,
waiting for Hale to arrive. I wanted to have this conversation in a place that was intimate and comfortable. My palms were sweating, and I realized rather abruptly I was getting down to the boys I really didn’t want to send home. I knew only one would stay in the end, but I almost wished the others could call the palace home, too, or maybe promise to visit on holidays.

I snapped my head up at the knock on the door and went to answer it myself. I didn’t want Eloise around for this.

Hale bowed. “Your Highness.”

“Come in. Are you hungry? Thirsty?”

“No, I’m good.” He rubbed his hands together, looking as nervous as I was.

I sat at the table, and he joined me.

When I couldn’t bear the silence any longer, I spoke. “I need you to tell me what’s going on.”

He swallowed. “And I want to tell you. But I don’t know what I’ll do if you end up hating me because of it.”

Despite the warmth, I felt a chill. “Why would I hate you, Hale? What did you do?”

“It’s not something I did. It’s something I can’t do.”

“Which is?”

“Marry you.”

Though I’d been expecting as much, though my heart had never really, fully been his, it was still a painful blow.

“What—” I had to stop and breathe. This was my worst fear coming to life. I was unlovable. I knew it. All it had taken was a few weeks by my side for him to figure it out. “What suddenly made you so certain you couldn’t marry me?”

He paused, looking pained, and I took some consolation in the fact that he didn’t seem to
want
to hurt me. “When I found I had feelings for someone else.”

At least that was easier to handle than my initial worry. “Carrie?”

He shook his head. “Ean.”

I was driven to absolute silence. Ean? Like,
Ean
Ean?

I didn’t see that coming. Hale had been so tender, so romantic. But instantly everything about Ean became clear.

When the castes had been in place, it was law that every family fell into the caste of the husband. Because of that, there could only ever be one male head of the household. The same went for women: no married couple, no legitimate household. Some people lived together without bothering with marriage, calling their lovers roommates, but it was frowned on. Mom told me about a same-sex couple back in Carolina who’d been shunned to the point that they were driven out of town.

I’d never cared for that story. It sounded to me like way too many people had it hard when she was growing up. Why would anyone go out of their way to make someone’s life any harder?

Regardless, same-sex couples tended to live in the shadows, on the outskirts of society, and unfortunately that was still the case today. This made Ean’s acceptance of not finding love in his life much more understandable.

But Hale?

“How … how did you even …?”

“We started talking one night in the Men’s Parlor. I hadn’t been able to sleep and decided to go there to read. I found him writing in his journal.” Hale smiled to himself. “You wouldn’t think it to look at him, but he’s actually very poetic.

“Anyway, we just talked. And, I don’t know how we even got to the point where we were sitting beside each other, but then he kissed me, and … I knew why I never had a crush on Carrie. I knew why, even though you are the smartest, funniest, bravest girl I know, I couldn’t marry you.”

I closed my eyes, taking this in. And I felt absolutely horrified, because all that came to my mind was how badly this might affect me. Forget that Hale was going to have to explain this discovery about himself to his family, forget that Ean might finally be forced to come clean. What would the press say when they eventually learned that not one but two of my suitors would rather be with each other than with me?

Sometimes I was a really terrible person.

“I know that a Selected being in a relationship with someone else is treason,” Hale breathed. I raised my eyes, having forgotten that detail. “But I also know that a short, honest life is better than a long, deceitful one.”

“Hale,” I urged, leaning across the table to take his hand. “What makes you think I could even punish you?”

“I know the rules.”

I sighed. “We live our lives bound by them, don’t we?”

He nodded.

“Perhaps you and I could make a deal?”

“What kind of deal?”

I pulled my hands back, rubbing them together. “If you would do me the favor of staying until after the coronation and letting me dismiss you and Ean a few weeks, or maybe even days, apart, then I will allow you to leave the palace without any sort of repercussions.”

He stared at me. “Really?”

“I admit, I’m worried about the fallout from all this. But if it looks like you two fell for each other after you were eliminated, then no one could accuse you of treason. And, I’m sorry, but if the press found out, they’d tear me apart over this.”

“I really didn’t want to make things harder for you. I’m not in love with you, but I love you enough to tell you the truth.”

Standing, I bridged the space between us. He stood, too, and I flung my arms around him, resting my head on his shoulder. “I know. And I love you, too. I wouldn’t wish you a lifetime shackled to me when it would make you miserable.”

“Is there anything I can do for you? Leaving here with your blessing was more than I hoped for. How can I help you?”

I stepped back. “Just be an exemplary Selection candidate for a few more days. I realize that’s asking a lot, but getting me past the coronation would mean the world to me.”

“It’s not asking a lot, Eadlyn. It’s hardly asking anything.”

I put a hand on his cheek. Something every day.

“So, is he the one or what?”

Hale laughed, the relief finally hitting him. “I don’t know. I mean, I’ve never felt like this before.”