“Goodnight dear.”
When Sara left the room, Helen’s mind stayed in the past.
***
Joshua drove around for a long time before heading home, thinking about what a great day it had been. He had to keep telling himself that this was
his
car. He couldn’t believe he was actually dating a beautiful woman like Sara. He could still smell the scent of her hair and the way she felt in his arms. The only thing that marred the day was the dull headache that seemed to be a part of his life now. When the pain suddenly increased, the throbbing blurred his vision and forced him to go home and go to bed.
Even after taking aspirin, i
t kept him awake most of the night. However, by morning, he felt better. Getting dressed, Joshua wondered whether the stone had anything to do with the headaches. Picking up the crystal as usual to put in his pocket, he rotated it in his hands trying to decide whether to take it or leave it at home. Suddenly the air around him constricted, pressing in on him on all sides. Everything in the room shimmered and began to fade. He flung out both hands to steady himself. The stone slipped from his fingers. The pressure faded and the room returned to normal. He stood there wondering what had just happened. Maybe just a dizzy spell like when you get up too quickly, he thought.
Still, Joshua was almost afraid to pick up the crystal. When he did, nothing happened. Still shaken, he tucked the crystal in a drawer, deciding to leave it at home to see if he felt any different. By lunchtime, he noticed that it was the first day that he hadn’t had a headache. However, that feeling of confidence had left as well. He noticed people looking at him for the first time. Did he look that different? He worried that Sara would notice. What if he really looked as different as he felt?
* * *
Sara hadn’t been able to keep her mind on the lecture. She would have to borrow someone else’s notes for the first time. Hers had large gaps when she wasn‘t listening, lost in reliving Joshua’s kisses, the feel of his arms around her and the way he looked at her. She thought about him all night and couldn’t wait to see him again. The intensity of her feelings scared her. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Joshua waiting for her outside the classroom
, leaning against the wall. He wore Levis and a powder blue pullover that showed off his broad shoulders and flat abs. While she watched, several girls walked by and tried to catch his eye.
Great she thought, he looks terrific and I look like a drowned rat
. Her hair refused to behave in the steady rain, so she had pulled it into a ponytail. The sides kept escaping. Running late, she’d grabbed the first clothes she could reach, old jeans, a baggy sweater, and an old raincoat she found hanging on a hook beside the door. Now looking down at herself, she felt like a bag lady. What if he took one look at her and decided he didn’t feel the same way about her?
However, when she met him outside the classroom, he took her hand as usual and gave her a tentative smile. All through lunch, he kept looking at her. One time he leaned over to push a stray lock of hair back behind her ears.
He must think I look awful
. Maybe he’s sorry about last night and wondering how to dump me, she thought.
Joshua watched Sara to see if her feelings had changed. He thought she looked even more beautiful today. She had a lock of hair that fell in her eyes. When he reached over and tucked it back behind her ear so he could look at her, she looked down and frowned. Was his touch so different today? He made up his mind. A headache seemed a small price to pay, if it meant holding on to Sara.
Sara picked at her lunch and worried. She needed to know how he felt. It was Friday. She knew she could not live through the weekend not knowing. She’d waited all through lunch, hoping he’d mention another date. Now as they gathered their things to go back to glass, she made a decision. If she invited him to come over tonight and meet her grandmother, and he made an excuse, she would know.
“Joshua, my grandmother should be home early today. I’d like you to come over and meet her.”
Joshua hesitated. It was a good sign that she wanted to see him again, but he wasn’t going to take any chances. He wanted time to go home and get the crystal. He wondered how long it would take before the crystal would restore him. “What time?”
He doesn’t seem too eager. However, he didn’t say no. Let’s see, I need time to do something with this hair and find something to wear that says sexy but not desperate.
“How about seven?”
“Okay.” That should give me enough time, he thought.
***
Sara washed her hair and let it dry naturally into soft curls. Then she changed into a tan skirt and cream silk blouse. She decided that her three-inch stiletto heels would provide just the right amount of sex appeal. Her grandmother came in five minutes before seven o’clock and went to her bedroom to change out of her work clothes. Before Sara had a chance to tell her that Joshua was coming over, the doorbell rang.
By seven o’clock Joshua’s headache was back, but he felt confident and sure of himself again. He arrived right on time. Silhouetted in the doorway, the light from behind shining on her, he thought Sara looked like an angel. She even smelled heavenly. He gave her a big smile.
“Come in. My grandmother just got home. She’s upstairs changing. She should be down in a minute.”
She led him into the front room. It wasn’t a large room, but it was cozy and comfortable. A sofa sat on one side of the fireplace. Two comfortable chairs separated by a small round end table faced the sofa. An old upright piano stood angled in one corner.
He caught her and pulled her to him for a quick kiss.
She responded warmly, smiled, and then asked, “Can I get you a drink while we’re waiting?”
“Sure, a coke would be good.”
When Sara went to the kitchen, Joshua wandered over to the piano. Seeing familiar sheet music displayed, he sat down at and played.
Helen came down the stairs. “Sara, are you playing the piano?” Coming into the room, and seeing Joshua, she stopped and drew in a quick breath.
Joshua looked up and smiled.
Helen eyes widened. She put one hand to her throat gasping, and then collapsed in a heap on the floor.
Joshua stood up shouting for Sara. He rushed to Helen’s side, and felt for a pulse. Since she was breathing and he couldn’t find any injuries, he gently picked her up, and set her on the sofa. Behind him, Sara hurried in.
“What happened?” She
asked, rushing to her grandmother side.
“I don’t know. She walked in and collapsed. Should we call an ambulance?”
Sara shook her head. “She’s breathing and she has a steady pulse. Let’s wait a minute and see if she comes around.” Patting Helen’s hand she said, “Grandma?”
Helen began to stir. When she opened her eyes, Joshua was leaning over her.
“Harry?”
Sara moved in front of Joshua, and he backed away. “Grandma, are you all right?”
Trying to get up, Helen asked, “Sara, what happened?”
Sara placed h
er hand on her shoulder and pushed her back. “Stay down. I think you fainted. Maybe we should get you to a doctor.”
“No, I’m all right.” Helen insisted on getting up, so Sara helped her to a sitting position on the couch. Helen looked over at Joshua, who was now sitting on the chair across from her. Her quick intake of breath brought Sara hovering over her again. Starring at Joshua, Helen asked, “Who are you?”
Sara sat down next to her grandmother. “Gran, this is Joshua, the young man I told you about. I’m sorry if he scared you. I didn’t have a chance to tell you I invited him over to meet you.”
Helen studied the young man. The room was quiet. Her heartbeat sounded loud in her ears. She took a deep breath to calm herself and clear her head.
Sara was patting her hand and looking worried.
Joshua sat back in the chair and looked thoughtful. No one said anything for a few minutes. Finally, apparently reaching a decision, Joshua looked at Helen and said, “You knew my uncle, Harry Carson, didn’t you?”
“You’re Harry Carson’s nephew?” Helen asked breathlessly.
“Well, great nephew to be exact,” Joshua clarified. To Sara he explained, “Apparently I look just like my uncle Harry did when he disappeared 40 years ago. My grandfather was startled when he saw me recently as well.”
Helen took a deep breath. She stared at him for another long moment before saying, “You look so much like him it’s uncanny. Now that I see you up close, I can see differences. Your nose is a little different, and his hair was wavy where yours is straight. Your voice is different too, no Bostonian accent, but the resemblance is still startling. You say he disappeared 40 years ago?” Helen asked.
“That’s what my grandfather told me.”
Sara, glad to see that her grandmother’s color was coming back, asked, “Are you sure you’re all right? “
“Yes, dear I’m fine now. It was just a shock seeing him there playing the piano,” she replied.
Sara began to understand. “Harry Carson was your first love, wasn’t he?”
Helen looked at Sara for a long moment without saying anything, and then turned to Joshua. “I’m sorry about fainting like that. I’m not being a very good hostess, am I? Sara, did you offer Joshua a drink?”
Sara studied her grandmother. She was still a little pale, but otherwise seemed normal. “I was in the kitchen getting them when you . . . came in. I’ll get them now. What can I get for you, Gran?”
“Just some water will be fine, dear. Joshua, tell me about your family,” Helen said calmly as if nothing had happened.
When Sara returned with the sodas for her and Joshua, and the water for her grandmother, Joshua was telling Helen about his mom and dad on the dig in Guatemala.
“I believe Sara told me you were staying with your grandfather?” Helen prompted.
“Yes, Joseph Carson, he’s President of the First National Bank of Boston. My family traveled a great deal, so I haven’t spent much time with him. I never even knew my grandfather had a brother until I came to live here. I hadn’t seen my grandfather for a couple of years and his reaction when he saw me was pretty much the same as yours.”
“I’d like to meet him sometime.”
Handing the water to her grandmother Sara added, “As a matter of fact, when I met him last night, he expressed a desire to meet you as well. He said he had heard about your work.”
“You were playing the piano when I came in. Do you want to be a musician?” Helen asked.
“I love music, but I haven’t made up my mind about a career choice yet.”
“Play something for Gran, maybe that unnamed piece that you played for me last night.”
Helen held up her hand to stop him. “Not tonight, dear. If you will excuse me, I really am tired. I think I’ll go up and lie down for a while. It was nice meeting you Joshua.”
Sara rose with her and walked with her to the foot of the staircase.
“Are you sure you’re all right?” Sara asked.
“Yes, dear, you two enjoy your evening. I am fine. Just a little tired. It’s been a long week.”
Helen made it slowly up the steps to her room. She sunk down on the bed, still trying to understand. Could Sara’s boyfriend really be Harry’s nephew? She still couldn’t get over the resemblance. If Joshua’s uncle was her Harry, then he had disappeared not just from her life, but from his family as well. Flooded by memories long kept at bay, she closed her eyes and let it all come back.
Chapter Ten
Harry didn’t see Helen when she walked in. He was standing with his back to her, looking out the windows of the common room. One hand was in his pocket, the other fingered the rock he always kept with him. He’d told her it was his good luck charm because without it, he would never have met her. Helen hadn’t seen him for over a week this time. She watched as he put the rock in his pocket and reached up with both hands to massage his temples. He must have another one of those headaches, she thought. He turned and saw her then and gave her the smile that always melted her heart.
“Helen, my love, you look more beautiful every time I see you.” He held out both arms and she walked into them, wrapping her arms around his waist and laying her head on his chest. He lifted her chin and kissed her lightly.
“I missed you,” she said.
“I know. I shouldn’t be here now. But I couldn’t stay away.”
“Why, Harry? What’s keeping you from being with me all the time?” She knew she sounded desperate and whinny, but she couldn’t help it. “Is there someone else?” she whispered.
He laughed and then tilted her face up with one finger
to look into her eyes. “You are the only woman I have ever loved.” The smile faded from his lips. He got a faraway look in his eyes. “Helen, someday I won’t be able to come back. I try staying away so I won’t hurt you anymore, but I am not strong enough.”
“I don’t understand.”
He closed his eyes. “I know. I wish I could explain it to you.” He held her tightly. He gave himself a slight shake and when he opened his eyes, the twinkle was back. “Enough of this feeling sorry for myself. I refuse to waste this time with you by wishing for what cannot be. I want your memories of me to be happy ones. We’re going horseback riding on the beach.”