The Dance (56 page)

She secured a Band-Aid over the area and gathered up her supplies. “The test only takes a few minutes. The doctor will be back when he has the results. Can I get either of you anything, coffee, a soda . . .? We also have snacks in the lounge.”

For the third time I shook my head at her sweet offer as Will answered, “No thanks. I think we’re both good right now.”

After Jennie left us alone the room fell silent except for the crackling sound whenever Will inhaled a breath. I realized this was due to the cancer in his lungs, and a knot twisted in my stomach. And with each second that passed Will’s fate slapped me in the face.

Without looking at me, Will placed his hand over mine and said in a low voice, “Thank you, Bryson.”

“For what?”

“For not acting like you hate me.”

“I don’t want to hate you, Will. I don’t want to hate anyone.”

“But you have every right to because of what I’ve done.” He gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

I concentrated on the blank wall in front of me. If I allowed my thoughts to drift to anything besides that plain empty white wall, I’d end up a puddle on the floor. Each time thoughts of Mom, Dad, Ryan, Sophie, or Hart pushed through to my consciousness, I pushed back hard until they disappeared. The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt the most important people in my life. And even though this situation was beyond my control the thought of causing those I loved pain was more than I could handle at the moment.

Both Will and I jumped when the door swung open and Dr. Rudolph appeared holding a piece of paper. He didn’t bother to sit down. Instead, he stood in front of us and looked into my panicked eyes.

“The rapid test came back negative,” he announced.

An audible sigh of relief gushed out of Will. I sat still as a statue, stunned and grateful. The sound of Dr. Rudolph’s deep voice jarred me to attention.

“To be on the safe side, I’m still going to send a sample off to the lab.”

“If the first test is negative then why bother to do that?” Will asked.

“Just as a precaution. The lab is equipped to conduct more extensive testing. Those results will take a little longer to get.”

My ability to think and speak was gradually returning. “How much longer?”

“A few days to a week. Don’t worry, young lady. Today’s test is great news.”

I nodded with tears filling my eyes.

“I’ll call you with the other results.” He extended his hand to me. “It’s going to be okay.” The doctor then shook Will’s hand. “I’ll see you for our regularly scheduled visit next week unless you need me before hand.”

“Thank you . . . uh . . . so much for . . . uh . . . seeing us on such short notice, sir,” Will stammered.

“Not a problem.”

The second Dr. Rudolph left the room, Will doubled over. With his elbows resting on his knees, his head hanging low, sobs quietly seeped out of him.

“Thank God you’re okay,” he choked out.

This man who belittled me during our marriage, who cheated on me, who exposed me to a deadly disease was completely broken and my heart hurt for him. What Will said was true, I had every right to hate him but I couldn’t. I wasn’t going to allow the pain he’d caused to change the person I was. Biting my lower lip, I attempted to stay composed as I placed my hand on his back and slowly rubbed. Will and I stayed like this until he shed his last tear and my heart forgave him.

The ride home was just as quiet as the ride to the doctor’s office, only this time I think it was more from pure exhaustion than anything else. We pulled into the driveway and Will walked me to the front door.

“Thank you for taking me today,” I said, focusing my gaze down.

“Don’t thank me for that.”

I glanced up in time to witness a visible shiver run through his body. “It’s getting pretty cold. You should go get warm.”

“Bryson, I know it’s already been a long day . . .” He chuckled. “God, it’s only 3 p.m.”

My eyebrows knitted together in disbelief. “It feels like midnight.”

He chewed on his bottom lip, struggling with whether or not to say his next words. “Can I come in?”

“Will, I’m exhausted and I’m meeting Hart in a few hours. I have to tell him.”

“I know but I really need to discuss something with you.” There was a pleading in his tone and his eyes.

“Something else?”

“Yeah. It’s pretty important.”

I hesitated for a minute before giving in. “Okay.”

I headed inside, thinking Will was behind me but when I turned around to close the door the foyer was empty. I put my purse down, took off my jacket, and went into the kitchen. As I was heating water for tea, Will entered and placed the black bag he always used for work on the counter. He shrugged off his coat and draped it on the back of one of the stools.

“Tea?” I asked.

Pulling several folders out of his bag, he lined them up along the counter. “Yes, please.”

I was in hopes that the divorce papers he still hadn’t signed were in one of the folders. “What’s all that?”

Sitting down, he answered, “The thing I need to discuss with you.”

I placed the two mugs of tea on the counter and sat on the stool beside Will.

“I apologize for dumping all of this on you in one day. It’s just I don’t have a lot of time to waste.”

I couldn’t tell if Will had accepted his fate or was terrified of its fast approach. Maybe a little of both.

His gaze lowered. “Bryson . . . um . . . I’m not sure exactly how to ease into this.”

Fidgeting, I slid my mug back and forth between my hands. “It’s okay, just start.”

He glanced up at me for a brief second before his gaze dropped again. “When I told my family about my diagnosis . . . let’s just say they’ve been less than supportive.”

“I’m sorry.”

“My parents have basically disowned me and my brother won’t even take my calls. Can you believe that? He’s been a loser all his life and he won’t talk to me anymore.”

I wasn’t that surprised by the reaction of Will’s parents. Appearances meant everything to them. You would think the fact that your child was dying would override any moral, ethical, or social issues you had. Alex, on the other hand, was a different story. I would have thought he’d at least be more empathetic to Will’s situation.

“And my so-called friends have disappeared.”

“All of them?”

I knew that at one time people distanced themselves from those with AIDS but I thought that was a thing of the past now.

“Yeah. So, I’m pretty much riding solo these days.” The fingers of his left hand nervously tapped one of the folders in front of him before he pushed it toward me. “After the reaction I got from my parents, I left the construction company. But before I quit, I took half of my stock options and my 401K and rolled it into an individual retirement fund. The cash value of it right now is enough to live very comfortably for years.”

I had no idea why Will was telling me all of this.

Folder number two.

“The other half of my stocks, I cashed in and opened up a checking account to pay for my medical bills.”

Folder number three.

“I’ve already made and paid for my final arrangements.”

Folder number four.

“Here’s all the info on the checking and savings accounts.”

Folder number five.

“This is an insurance policy. There’s enough money to pay off the mortgage, both cars, and tuition for culinary school.”

“Culinary school?”

“I’ve listed you as the sole beneficiary on everything.”

My brain was in information overload. “I don’t understand.”

His dark eyes watered. “I don’t have anybody, Bryson.” He paused trying to keep his emotions in check. “My lawyer has drawn up all the necessary documents, like do not resuscitate. But as I get sicker, I may not be capable of making decisions.” Will choked back a sob. “I know I deserve to be alone but I don’t want to be when I die. It’s asking a lot and god knows you don’t owe me shit. But please, would you consider staying with me until . . .?”

I stared at Will completely dumbfounded by his request. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say yes to any of it. Nothing will change as far as my will. You’ll still get everything.”

My brain began to function again and all the information that had been thrown at me began to make sense. “This is why you didn’t sign the divorce papers.”

“No one can challenge you on any of this if we’re still legally married.”

“And by no one you mean your parents.”

He simply nodded.

I couldn’t believe what he’d done. Even when things were good between me and Will, he was never that thoughtful. I was floored by his generosity and that not only was he providing for me but protecting me as well. All he wanted was what anyone would want, comfort and connection with someone who cared. I wasn’t sure what the details of this arrangement would be but my answer was clear.

I placed my hand on top of his. “You won’t be alone, Will.”

His body visibly relaxed.

“How exactly do we do this?”

His hand flipped over so that our palms were touching. “I was hoping I could move back home.”

Jerking my hand from his, I slid off the stool and headed toward the sink. “I don’t think that’ll work out.”

“Bryson, I don’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I’m sorry for the . . . um . . . thing with the hand. It’s just I haven’t had a compassionate touch in a long time. I accept that we’re over.”

I turned to face him. “As far as you moving back in here, I have to think about it and talk to . . .”

“The guy?”

“Hart.” I corrected his generic term.

“Hart . . . so y’all are that serious?”

“Yes, I told you earlier.”

“I guess it didn’t sink in. I don’t want to cause any trouble between the two of you.”

“I need to talk to him before I can agree to let you come back here.”

Will’s hand curled into a fist on the countertop. “Fair enough. I understand.”

I had no intention of letting Will die alone but having him back under the same roof was essentially like being back together. Hart was my priority and I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize us. I promised Will I’d call within the next two days, once I’d had time to digest everything. I needed to feel Hart’s presence and touch, but I was physically and emotionally depleted. My head needed some room to clear in order to process everything and decide how to tell Hart.

Once Will left I changed into my black leggings and Hart’s long-sleeve gray T-shirt that I wore the first night I stayed at his place. He caught me eyeing it one morning and when I got home, I found it in my overnight bag. I curled up on the sofa with a glass of wine, grabbed my phone, and pressed his number. He picked up on the first ring.

“Hey.” His raspy voice sent a shiver through my body.

“Hey.”

“Where are you?”

“At home.”

“You standing me up?”

“I need your strong arms wrapped around me.”

“That can be arranged. You okay?”

“Yes.” I choked back a sob.

“Why are you crying?” When I didn’t answer, he continued. “I’m going to see if Colin and Doug can meet me at your place.”

“I’m fine . . . really. I’m just exhausted. Can I take a raincheck on dinner and your lap?” I managed a slight chuckle.

“I’ll hold you to it. You wanna talk about today?”

Tears trickled down my cheeks. “Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow it is. Go get some rest.”

“Don’t leave me. I need to hear your voice.”

“Okay.”

“I love you so much, Hart.”

“You’re making me a little nervous and I don’t get nervous.”

“I don’t mean to.”

“I can be by your side in a flash. Even if the guys can’t get me up those steps, I figure out a way.”

“You are the most important thing in my life.”

“Ditto.”

I tugged the fleece blanket from the back of the sofa and snuggled underneath it. “Tell me about your day.”

“It was a very exciting day.”

I adored how Hart and I read each other, being patient and taking cues as to what the other needed at the time. He wanted answers and deserved them but trusted me enough to wait until I could tell him everything. I closed my eyes and pictured him by my side.

His soothing rasp washed over me. “Mrs. Swenson . . .”

“The lady who always flirts with you?”

“Yes, the ninety-eight-year-old lady who always flirts with me. She tried to set me up with her daughter.”

“Is she hot?”

“She’s sixty-five.” He paused while I laughed. “Although, she is pretty hot.”

“Hart!”

I fell asleep to the sound of Hart’s voice swirling in my ear and calming each frayed nerve.

The next thing I knew the sun was beaming through the double French doors warming my face. Sitting up, I shook the sleep from my head and walked to the kitchen for my morning brew. Waiting for the Keurig to finish I stared out the window, piecing together the events of yesterday. It was almost unbelievable to me that for the second time in a little more than two years my life drastically changed in just a matter of hours. This was another defining moment. Just as my marriage ending and reconnecting with Hart pushed me toward being the person I always wanted to be, when I walked out of my house today, it was time to show everyone the person I’d become.