The Dance of the Dissident Daughter

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated

to my daughter, Ann,

who is also my friend,

and Berry and Terry,

friends who became

my sisters, with love

and gratitude.

EPIGRAPH

Women will starve in silence until new stories are created which confer on them the power of naming themselves.

Sarah Gilbert

Susan Guber

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

This book is rooted in my relationships and interactions with many people.

I want to begin with the outstanding women whose sharing, presence, and support have enriched my life and therefore these pages. To Betty Blackerby, Terry Helwig, Anita Stenz Chapman, Ramona McLeland, Terri Castillo, Kathleen Bohn, Djohariah Toor, Robin Williams, Melanie Britt, Lisa Isenhower, Betty Cockrell, Mary Page Sims, Mitzi Winesett, and Elizabeth Canham, deep thanks and love.

I also want to mention the fourteen women who were my companions during the pilgrimage through Crete: Carol Christ, Terry Helwig, Karen McFarland, Marian Nuckolls, Patricia Silbert, Jana Ruble, Carol Wilken, Jaime Shvey, Jan McCormick, Cathleen Peterson, Deborah Howard, Jane Steed, Robin Sotire, and Martha Ann. The impact they had on my life as we journeyed together urged me on, and ultimately their presence is part of this work.

I owe much to the people at HarperSanFrancisco who have stuck with me now through three books. Kandace Hawkinson, my editor for this book, provided the kind of insight, availability, support, and encouragement every author wishes for. Her knowledge about the subject and her wisdom about communicating the material have made this a better book. Her able assistant, Erica Smith, was also helpful and appreciated. My new editor, Barbara Moulton, guided this book through the final stages with wonderful suggestions and gifted hands, and I am grateful for her considerable gifts and experience. It also could not have been done without associate editor Lisa Bach, who provided continuous help and encouragement. And to Tom Grady, my publisher, who has given me
enormous support and room to grow, I offer deepest thanks. I also offer my sincere appreciation to Mary Peelen and Steve Hanselman in the marketing department, whose openness and expertise have never failed to impress me, to Mimi Kusch, my able production editor, and to Priscilla Stuckey for her brilliant copyediting.

Three friends and colleagues gave generously of their time to read the entire manuscript, offering their considerable gifts to this work. Anita Stenz Chapman offered not only creative insights and clarity, but also ongoing nurture as I wrote. Roy M. Carlisle provided expert advice and comments and solid belief in this work. Karen McFarland also made many valuable suggestions, opened up new ideas, and was a source of sisterly encouragement.

Dr. Beatrice Bruteau, philosopher of great measure and a long-time mentor, discussed portions of the manuscript with me, and I'm grateful for her presence in my life and work. My friend Lois McAfee went an extra mile in gathering material. Another friend, Nancy Hardesty, offered helpful ideas. And computer genius Chris Goforth helped me with the rigors of technology throughout the writing.

I want to especially acknowledge Springbank Retreat Center, a beautiful and uniquely sacred place, and all the women who make it so. Its impact on me at a crucial time was transformative.

Portions of this work in progress were presented at Journey into Wholeness, Anderson Lay School of Theology, and the Academy of Spiritual Formation. I am grateful for those opportunities and the feedback they provided as I wrote.

I want to acknowledge the generations of women in my family, particularly my mother and grandmother, whose lives are part of me and whose love I constantly feel. To my children, Bob and Ann, I offer thanks and love for their blessing on this work. And most important is my husband, Sandy, whose support for me, for my journey, and for this book indicates the kind of sensitive, enlightened, and extraordinary man he is.