The Dark Vampire: Last True Vampire 3 (24 page)

Jenner couldn’t be in a room with Bria for more than an hour before his desires drove him from her presence. His thoughts centered on his need to fuck her or take her vein and he didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to hold out before he stripped her bare and dove into her slick heat. Bria was so delicate. So very breakable in comparison to his harsh bulk. Last week in the gym he’d taken her vein with a ferocity that caused him worry, and afterward it had taken every ounce of his self-control to pleasure her without losing himself to his own desire. Given leave to enjoy her body, Jenner feared that the meager hold on his control would snap once and for all.

“Seriously, you’ve got to snap the fuck out of this maudlin bullshit attitude, man.”

Jenner looked up to find Ronan regarding him with a scowl. Obviously, the male had been talking to him, but as usual, Jenner was too wrapped up in his own gods-damned thoughts to pay an ounce of attention. He couldn’t think straight. Could barely function since the night he’d rushed up Mikhail’s staircase to find Bria sitting, legs tucked beneath her, in the guest room. His mind was too full of her, his soul too aware of hers. He was losing his fucking mind and he didn’t see an end to his madness in sight.

“I’m just going to give you guys a minute.” Naya cast
a cautious glance from Ronan to Jenner and once again to her mate. She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek before leaving them alone in the room.

“Maudlin bullshit?” Jenner pushed the words from between clenched teeth. “If Naya was in danger, you’d move mountains to protect her. So don’t fucking get up in my grill when I want to do the same for my—” The sentence cut off on an intake of air. Jenner rarely said the word out loud. Had never allowed himself to actually believe it.

“What?” Ronan challenged. His irises flashed silver and his tone escalated. “Your
what,
Jenner?”

“My mate!” His chest ached with the word. Burned as though he’d been run through with a stake. The truth of it blazed through him. Damn near brought him to his knees. The distance he continued to put between them was slowly killing him. Gods, he was a train wreck. “What sort of fucking male am I if I can’t even protect the one thing that’s been entrusted to me?” Jenner’s breath heaved in his chest as his frustration mounted. “She’s half of my gods-damned soul and for the past month I’ve done nothing but make her more of a prisoner than she ever was. I can’t even bear to be in the same room with her, Ronan. I’m—” His voice cracked with emotion and shame seared a path up Jenner’s throat. “Fate has made a mistake.”

Ronan gave a sad shake of his head. “Don’t be a fool, Jenner. Fate doesn’t make mistakes.”

He cocked a dubious brow. The Sortiari’s mission wasn’t shaped from that opinion.

Ronan knew Jenner’s secrets. All of them. “You know better than anyone why I’ve kept myself from Bria.”

Ronan let out a sigh as he raked his fingers through his tawny hair. “You were young—”

“
Don’t
make excuses for me,” Jenner cut in. He thought of Fairchild’s words about memories becoming as dreams.
“I let the past fade too far in my memory. Mikhail never should have turned me.”

“How many dhampirs have you killed since your transition?” Ronan demanded.

Jenner looked away. “None. But that doesn’t mean—”

“Bullshit,” Ronan said. “And how many times have you taken more blood than you should from Bria?”

“Never. But each time I feed from her I want more.” The words rasped as Jenner’s thirst flared. Simply thinking of Bria’s blood drove him to the brink. “It takes every ounce of willpower I have to pull away from her.”

“You’ve never hurt her,” Ronan insisted. “You’ve never once allowed yourself to drink more than you should from her. You let one mistake and the declarations of some aristocratic asshole mold your entire existence. Have you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy, Jenner?”

He refused to meet his friend’s gaze. It was easy for Ronan to talk about shit like self-fulfilling prophecies. He’d never heard the last beats of his victim’s heart in his ears as he swallowed the last drops of her lifeblood. He’d never experienced the abandon that accompanied such an act. He’d never been looked upon with disgust and fear by the very creatures that needed blood to survive and been called monster.

“I wouldn’t survive it if I hurt her,” Jenner murmured.

Ronan gave a sad shake of his head. “She’s the other half of your soul. You have no trust in your tether if you think you could possibly hurt her.”

“It doesn’t matter. Until I find the witch, the tension between us is only going to get worse.” Jenner couldn’t talk about his control issues anymore. The self-reflection made his gut ache and his heart pound. Whether or not Ronan thought Jenner was capable of hurting Bria, she was still in danger.

“You were meant to find her, Jenner. And you and I
both know that you’re a scary motherfucker who’s more than capable of protecting her.”

Jenner didn’t share in Ronan’s optimism. “You know everything about me,” he said low. “Tell me, how can I possibly be what she needs?”

“That’s the thing,” Ronan said. “You think you need to change yourself to be worthy of her. To be a different male than the one you are. But if you were a different male, she wouldn’t have tethered you. You
are
what she needs. Stop worrying about a past that no longer exists and allow yourself this comfort. Once you quit fighting the tether and actually let yourself fall into it, you’ll be amazed at how easy everything becomes.”

A lump the size of a fucking baseball lodged itself in Jenner’s throat. He couldn’t stay here and hash out his emotions with Ronan like it was a natural part of their relationship or some shit. He’d be glad when things got back to normal and he could focus once again on his duties for Mikhail and busting heads for Ronan. He’d had enough emotional turmoil in a month to last three lifetimes. “I’m out,” he said through the thickness in his throat. “The fancy fucking interior decorating in this place is giving me a headache.”

Ronan gave him a rueful smile. “Naya and I will help you track the necromancer.” Jenner paused in the foyer and turned to face Ronan. “But when it comes to meting out her death, I can’t let Naya be anywhere near that.”

Jenner gave a sharp nod of his head. “I’d never ask her to be. All I need is help finding the necromancer. Once we do, I’ll kill her myself.”

“Tomorrow night?” Ronan asked.

“Yeah.” Jenner turned to leave. “The sooner the better.”

He headed down the hallway for the elevator. He needed to get the hell away from everything that was
fucking with his head, which meant he couldn’t go home, where he had only his thoughts for company, and Mikhail’s house was out of the question. He needed music, lights, the press of bodies, and so much sound that it would drown out the thoughts that tortured him and sent him closer to the arms of madness.

He’d known from the first moment he stared into Bria’s beautiful amethyst eyes that she would be the cause of his destruction.

“Claire, I’m going out.”

Claire looked up from the lettuce she was tearing to make a salad. Her brow furrowed over her unusual gold eyes. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

Bria appreciated that the queen didn’t order her to stay. Claire was giving Bria the option to make her own decisions, and that’s all she’d ever wanted. A choice. To be able to walk out the front door whenever she pleased without having to sneak out while everyone was distracted. “I can take care of myself,” she said in what she hoped was an airy tone. “Jenner has been training me in dagger play and hand-to-hand combat. I bet I could beat Ronan in a fight if I had to.”

Claire laughed. “I’d pay good money to see that. So . . . where are you going?”

Claire wasn’t going to tell Bria that she couldn’t leave the house, but it was obvious she planned to keep tabs on her. “I’m not running away if that’s what you think.”

“I didn’t say that you were.” Claire turned her attention back to her salad and said, “You know, I ran away once.”

“You did?” Bria couldn’t imagine a female as confident as Claire running away from anything. “Why?”

Claire’s eyes slid to Bria and she smiled. “Are you
kidding? These guys are goddamned intense. I’m beginning to think that there isn’t anything more dangerous in the world than a tethered vampire.”

Bria’s lips quirked in a half smile. “At least your mate hasn’t put you on a shelf to collect dust.” Her voice cracked with emotion she tried so hard to suppress. “I think that Jenner wishes our tether was cut.”

“It’s not what you think, Bria.” Claire abandoned her dinner preparations and turned to face her. “Jenner’s had a rough go of it.” Indecision marred her features as though Claire wasn’t sure how much she should say.

Bria’s heart clenched. “Because of me?”

“Because Jenner has an issue with control.”

Bria didn’t have to be told to know that. It was something that simmered just below the surface of his skin all the time. She felt it every time he looked at her. Every time he touched her. Even in the sting of his bite she knew that he teetered on the brink, ready to slip with the slightest nudge. But contrary to what everyone thought, it wasn’t a lack of control that was Jenner’s problem. No, he had
too much
control.

“He holds back in all things,” Bria murmured. “And it has stretched our tether to the breaking point. We . . .” Bria paused. “. . . He rarely touches me. We haven’t—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up.” Claire leaned in close and brought her voice down to a whisper. “Are you saying you guys haven’t done the deed?”

Bria averted her gaze.

“Holy shit, dude!” Claire exclaimed. “No wonder he’s wound so tight.”

Was he? Bria wasn’t so sure. All she knew was that she couldn’t keep going like this. Weeks of his aloofness followed by moments of intense pleasure.
Her
pleasure. Jenner didn’t allow her to touch him, never bared his
body past his chest. Did he not ache for satiation like she did? Was she so disappointing to him that he had no desire for her?

No.
That wasn’t true. Jenner wanted her. She felt it through their tether, smelled the musky scent of lust that clung to his skin. When he fed from her throat a week ago in the gym he’d been ravenous for her. His bite had been hard and each deep pull of his mouth demanding. The memory of it sent a thrill through Bria’s body that settled low in her abdomen. She wanted so much more from Jenner, but the male’s control was absolute. His will was iron.

Even iron could be made to bend, though.

“Jenner and I have something in common, Bria.” Claire went back to her salad prep and kept her tone conversational. “We both have chips on our shoulders, but I guess his might be a little bigger than mine,” she added with a laugh.

“How so?” Bria didn’t know anything about Claire’s life and it pained her to think that she didn’t know much more about Jenner’s.

“Let’s just say I didn’t grow up in the lap of luxury. Neither did Jenner. And he’s way more hung up on class division than I am.”

As the niece of a coven master, Bria could be considered aristocratic in the dhampir social structure. She’d grown up privileged, entitled, despite the fact that she’d be given no personal freedom. She’d never wanted for anything. It had never occurred to her that Jenner would consider himself below her station. In fact, labels like that meant nothing to Bria and never had.

“Are you saying he doesn’t think he’s good enough for me?” The idea seemed ridiculous. Bria could think of no male better than Jenner.

“I’m saying he’s put you up on a pretty high pedestal and he doesn’t have a ladder,” Claire said. “Maybe instead of beating around the bush, you two need to have it out.” A wide grin spread across her lips and she waggled her eyebrows. “A good fight might lead to some good makeup sex.”

If only . . .
Bria had never thought of herself as weak, no matter how her uncle, Lucas, or the other members of her coven had tried to convince her otherwise. Not until her tethering had Bria known true weakness. With a touch, a look, a heated command in his deep gravelly voice, her resolve crumbled. Jenner was Bria’s weakness and she hated herself for it.

“You’re right about one thing,” Bria said. “It’s definitely time to have it out.” She’d reached her breaking point. She could no longer continue to go on day after day wanting him and suffering this crippling loneliness. She wouldn’t allow Jenner to keep her at arm’s length anymore. “I’ll try not to wake Vanessa if I get in late,” Bria said as she hopped down from her stool. It was time to have it out with Jenner whether he wanted to or not.

“Hang on a sec and let me call Alex,” Claire said as she grabbed her cell from the opposite counter. “He can take you wherever you need to go.”

“Thank you, Claire.” Having a ride into the city would take care of one obstacle.

“He’ll bring you home when you’re ready, too,” Claire added with a soft smile.

Home.
Never had that word meant so much, especially now that Bria had the choice to decide where home was—and who she chose to share it with.

Alex
pulled up to the entrance of Ultra. A line had already begun to form down the sidewalk of the West Hollywood club, but Bria didn’t plan on waiting in line. Vampiric abilities had their benefits after all. She got out of the car and slipped the cell phone Alex handed her into her back pocket.

“You call if you need
anything
. Understand?”

Bria leaned down to the open passenger side window. She smiled at the human and said, “I’ll be fine.”

“Oh, I know you will be,” Alex said. “I just want to make sure you know I won’t be more than a block away if you need me.”

As far as human males went, Alex looked more than capable of taking care of himself. His hazel eyes wrinkled at the corners as he returned her smile. Under his good humor, though, Bria sensed a hardness in the man. She supposed that anyone who kept company with vampires and dhampirs needed to be made of stern stuff. Mikhail only surrounded himself with those he felt were
trustworthy and competent. Alex was no exception to that rule.