The Date Auction (19 page)

We're sitting on the couch watching an old episode of
Friends
, which seems like a mundane activity for someone like me. I used to think I had all the time in the world to watch all the sitcom reruns I wanted to watch. Now that my life expectancy has been significantly reduced, everything feels like such a waste of time. “I don't think she hates you.”

“But I'm too old for him. I know it's true. I wish someone would just come out and say it!” The commercials are on right now, so I won't miss the old antics of Joey and Ross during our chat. “Give me your honest opinion, Cora. Do you think I should set him free?”

Of course I don't think that! I liked them together in my book, and I like them together in real life, but I don't know if she'd believe me if I said it. I think she's changed Jamie for the better. He's more grounded now, and he looks happier than he's ever been. “That depends. Do you think my brother wants kids?”

“I don't think so,” Jackie sighs. “Well, actually... I'm not sure.”

“You mean you haven't discussed it?”

“The topic's come up before.”

“Well... what does he say?”

“The topic usually comes up because I'm the one who's concerned about my inability to have children, but he always assures me it's not a necessity. Then he always says something to the effect that if
I
wanted kids, we could always adopt.” Jackie sits back on the couch and rolls her eyes. “Why would he think I'd want kids at my age? I'm too old for that!”

It feels strange discussing the future of others when I won't have a future of my own. How much life does Jackie have left? If she's fifty-two, she could live to be eighty-two, which would give her another thirty years. I would love to have another thirty years. In my advanced stage of cancer, I would be lucky to have another thirty
weeks
. “I don't think you're too old. Men have children in their fifties all the time.”

“That's true, but men like that always made my skin crawl.”

“Look, Jackie, does Jamie make you happy?” I can hear a hint of irritation in my own voice, but I hope it's not too abrasive.

“Yes.”

“Then you shouldn't spend so much time worrying about something that makes you happy. Life's too short for that. Believe me, I know.”

Before Jackie can respond, Jamie walks into the room to claim her. He stands behind the couch and kisses her on the head. Suddenly, I'm stricken by how strange it is to see them together. I know I've known Jamie my whole life, but for some reason, at that moment, it feels like two characters from my novel have come to life.

“Are you ladies having fun?”

I hold up the television remote and shake my head. “That depends. Do you think old episodes of
Friends
sound like fun?”

“Not especially.” He kisses the crown of Jackie's head again and again. “You look especially gorgeous right now, Jackie.”

“Oh, please!” Jackie protests. “I look anything
but
gorgeous right now!”

“Wow, Cora, you really had her pegged.” Jamie sandwiches himself on the couch between us and drapes an arm around my shoulder. “She sounds exactly like Eva from your book.”

“I have to agree with you there,” I reply.

“Do you think I should have her read it? Maybe she'd realize how silly she's been acting.”

“NO!” The answer that flies from my lips couldn't possibly be more emphatic. “No way!”

Jackie looks over at us with a raised eyebrow. “What are you two talking about?”

“Cora's writing a book that's loosely based on our lives,” Jamie says. “Well... it's not that loose, actually. If you take out the part about the date auction, it's practically a biography.”

“No, it's not.”

“Yes, it is.”

“No, it's not!” I repeat. I'm sure it sounds like we're engaging in a childish debate, which probably isn't helping Jamie's cause. Not unlike the Jamie in my book, he usually goes out of his way to act mature and placid in the presence of his girlfriend.

“What was your mother saying?” Jackie asks, referring to the fact that Jamie slipped into the kitchen with our mother for a private conversation. “Was she giving you a lecture about me.”

“No.” His jaw twitches, and I know he's lying. Hopefully Jackie can't read his ticks as well as I can. “We talked about a lot of different things.”

“Such as...?”

“The tomatoes in the garden.” I catch him scratching the back of his neck, which is yet another telltale sign of a lie. “Anyway, Jackie, we should probably take off. I'm sure Cora's getting tired of our company.”

“Aww. I could never get tired of your company!” This time, it's my turn to tell a little white lie. To be honest, they've been here for several hours now, and I've been waiting to return to Harry's letter. I've read it at least a dozen times now, and I always come to the same conclusion: I like the real Harry more than the Harry from my book.

“Do you need anything before we go?” Jamie asks. “Do you need me to get anything for you?”

“No.”

“Are you sure? I could even stop at the grocery store on the way home and pick up something special for you.”

“It's okay, Jamie. I can't really think of anything I want.” It's strange to be coddled all the time. When you're dying, people start to care more. “Thanks for stopping by, you guys.”

Jackie and Jamie rise from the couch at the same time. It's as if they're in sync. “See you later, Cora,” Jackie says.

“See you later.”

They linger by the door for a few seconds, waving at me. As soon as they're gone, I yank Harry's note from my pocket and reread it yet again. I've been dying to reply to him all day, but this is the first time I've had a chance.

It certainly sounds like he wanted a reply—doesn't it? Or am I horribly mistaken?

Dear Harry,

Thank you so much for your reply. I don't think I've ever heard about an actor writing a hand-written response to a fan, but I really appreciate it. It's obvious you really care about your fans.

I don't think your smile is sinister at all! Actually, you have an adorable smile! The fact that you can look so handsome and play a convincing psycho is evidence of your skill as an actor!

Actually, the Harry Shaw in my novel leaves something to be desired. I spoke to you for thirty seconds three years ago, and I received one letter from you, but I'm pretty certain you're more charming than the fictional Harry Shaw could ever be! Reality is rarely better than fantasy, so I'm impressed!

So you're a Harry Potter fan too? I don't think I've met many men who are willing to admit they like that series (aside from my brother William, who got me started on the books several years ago). When you said something about being a teacher at Hogwarts, it got me thinking... what if you could be
Professor Lupin? He was one of my favorite characters in Prisoner of Azkaban, but I never felt like the
movies did him justice. Not to mention, I always thought Sirius and Lupin should have been played by
younger actors (and Snape too, but Alan Rickman is so awesome that I won't even go there).

Thanks for taking the time to answer my questions. I feel like I should ask you another question in this letter, but I'm sure you're getting tired of intrusive, banal fan questions. Let's see.. what would be a question you haven't heard a million times? How about, what's your favorite animal? (don't worry, you don't really have to answer that one).

It's really sweet of you to offer to read my book, but I'm sure The Date Auction wouldn't interest you at all. But if you're feeling really brave (and you're in the mood for chick lit) I'll send you a copy of the book on a USB. You don't have to feel obligated to read it, but if you do, I don't want you to assume I'm exactly like the Cora in the book. We have some similarities, of course, but she's not an exact copy of me any more than the fictional Harry is an exact copy of you. (if you're curious, Date Auction Cora is the same age as I am).

Before you start reading, I should warn you that I might not finish the book. It will be the first time in several years that I haven't had the “mental fortitude” to finish a project that I've started. I just haven't connected with the story in any way, which is sad. I usually love my characters, but I have absolutely no attachment to anything that's going on. Since it's based on the lives of my brothers, maybe it hits too close to home?

My inability to finish The Date Auction might also have something to do with the fact that I don't have much longer to live. I would have mentioned this in my first letter, but I didn't know you would actually reply. To make a long story short, I have leukemia. We weren't able to find a bone marrow match, and the chemotherapy has done everything it could possibly do. In other words, I could die at any time. When my death could be around any corner, it's difficult to summon the willpower to finish a book I don't even care about that much.

I'm not even sure why I'm telling you this. I don't want to depress you, and I don't want to make
excuses as to why I can't finish my book. I think I'm telling you this because I have a deluded dream
that you'll come to visit me. I know I'm just one fan out of many, but I've admired you for so long.
Meeting you before I die would be the greatest thing that could ever happen to me.

I know that's a lot to ask of you, so please don't feel obligated. I never even expected you to write back to my letter. You've already done so much!

Thanks again, Harry. It was really great to hear from you.

Your fan & friend,

Cora

VI

It's been two weeks since I sent my letter to Harry, and it took him two weeks to reply. My hands quiver with anticipation as I hold his letter between my fingers. I never expected him to reply the first time, let alone, a second time.

“Harry Shaw...” I whisper to myself, “I had no idea you were a saint.”

I only wish he didn't live in the UK, because I'm sure the distance has something to do with the snail mail being more snail-y than usual.

Dearest Cora,

Why is it so surprising that I would write back? I always thought that if I was in a position to receive fan mail, I would want to treat my fans as I would want to be treated. If my letters give you any satisfaction whatsoever, then that makes me happy.

I'm so sorry to hear about your illness. Unfortunately, cancer is something my family is familiar with. My grandfather died from lung cancer (which prompted me to quit smoking two years ago), and a beloved aunt recently triumphed in her fight with breast cancer. My heart goes out to you. Actually, my heart broke when I read your letter. I really wish this letter would find you in better health, but you make it sound as if that isn't possible.

I read The Date Auction. It seemed like a lovely story so far...

Okay, now I know he's just being nice!

...
and I'm intrigued by the concept of the date auction itself. Does such a thing really exist? You said the story was based on the lives of your brothers, did you not? Is this William person really dating a woman who refers to him as 'Pookie Dookie,' because I found that to be quite disturbing. As for your other brother, I commend him for dating an older woman. I've always fancied the idea of dating an older woman, but none of them would ever give me the time of day.

As for the fictional Harry Shaw, you were right about him. For one, I would never ignore you if another woman turned up at a coffee shop. How wicked of him! Quite frankly, I don't blame fictional Cora for giving him the cold shoulder. He should have worked harder to get back in her good graces!

Are you, like the Cora in your novel, a veteran gamer? Because if you are, I would love to play some video games with you sometime. I used to play cooperative games with my flatmate on occasion, but he recently abandoned me (aka, moved in with his ex-girlfriend), which leaves me without a gaming companion.

Actually, I could see myself as Professor Lupin. Isn't he the one who taught Harry the oh-so-useful Expecto Patronum? In the later books, I think Harry used that spell more than any other, aside from Expelliarmus. Now that we're on the topic, why did Harry and his friends use Expelliarmus quite so much? If you're fighting a Death Eater, disarming their wands doesn't seem particularly helpful, nor is it nearly punishing enough. The least they deserved would have been a Crucio... who cares if it happens to be one of the forbidden curses! Why did none of the good guys ever think to fight fire with fire? It would have been far more effective, I think.

I noticed you actually live in California, whereas your book characters were based in New York City. I was thinking about venturing to Hollywood for some auditions in the near future. If I'm in the area, I would be more than happy to pay you a visit. Would you be willing to meet with me later this month? In the event I don't hear from you before I depart for the States, I hope that will be alright with you. Now that the Death Eaters are no longer a threat, I see no reason why I shouldn't come. (insert a nerdy emoticon here)

Until then!

Harry Shaw

When I reach the end of Harry's letter, not only are my hands shaking, but my entire body is shaking. Is he serious? Is he really going to visit me? Even in my wildest dreams, I never thought this would happen.

Now I'm never going to be able to finish The Date Auction...

VII

When I hear the doorbell a few days later, I assume it's going to be one of my brothers, since both of them have been coming to visit me more regularly than usual. Even William seems to have made me his top priority, which makes me wonder about the status of his relationship with Lilly. If they are no longer inseparable, are they having problems?

I can tell by my mother's reaction that the person at the door isn't one of my brothers.
“Ahhh!”
Unless one of my brothers went to the door wearing a ski mask, her scream was a pretty good hint. “Honey, it's... Cora, it's...”