Authors: Susan Buchanan
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Humor, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Romantic Comedy, #Humor & Satire, #General Humor
‘The money’s good and it means I’ve pretty much paid off my
mortgage, which is a bonus.’
‘
Nice for you
,’ thought Gill.
God, why am I being
such a bitch? He’s perfectly nice
. This wasn’t like her.
She decided to see if they could get flirty. He was after
all, very good-looking, even if she hadn’t felt any chemistry – yet. She lived
in hope.
Directing the same question at him, as she had at Sean on
Saturday, she said,
‘So, Gary, you’re quite the romantic. What’s your idea of
the most romantic date?’
Gary paled visibly and Gill realised she wasn’t the only one
who had lied on their profile questionnaire.
‘Er, well, let me think for a second. So many
possibilities. Yes, either the Eiffel Tower or Venice, or maybe the Empire
State Building.’
Predictable
, thought Gill, hating herself. This
simply wasn’t working out. Thank God it was just a drink and not dinner. The
restaurant looked lovely, too. She could see it from where she sat. Waiters
passed occasionally with mouth-watering platters of food. She realised she was
hungry. It hadn’t occurred to her before, but she hadn’t eaten since early
that morning. Her stomach rumbled.
‘Oh, someone’s hungry,’ laughed Gary.
Oh my God, this is torture
. Excusing herself to go
the Ladies’, and accepting his offer of another drink, for fear of being
obvious, Gill quickly walked to the toilet and dialled Angela.
‘Ang, it’s me. It’s a nightmare. Help. Can you call me in
fifteen minutes?’
Gill freshened up, although she didn’t know why she was
bothering to make the effort, and then returned to the bar.
When she returned, he started talking about how much he
loved Formula One. Gill zoned out, waiting for Angela’s call. When the phone
finally rang, she was relieved.
‘Oh, I’m so sorry; I thought I had turned it off. Excuse me
a second.’ Gill’s bag had slipped under the table and, self-conscious about
her arse being on display but being unable to do anything about it, she reached
under the table to retrieve her bag. Too late. A ripping sound rent the air.
A cool draught assailed Gill, as she realised that she had snagged her Capri
pants on something. As she struggled to free herself, a further rip sealed her
fate. She had ripped the arse out of her trousers – seriously - from front to
back. She sat back down hurriedly, pale as a ghost, and let the phone go to
answer machine. Glancing round to ensure no one had witnessed her predicament
and satisfying herself that this was indeed the case, she turned to Gary and
said, ‘I’m really sorry, but I need to go. Can we get a taxi to my place and
I’ll explain on the way?’
Looking as if all his Christmases had come at once, Gary
readily agreed.
‘One more thing, can I borrow your jacket?’
Chapter Nineteen
Tuesday 13th September
Gill came downstairs and looking rather sheepish, said to
Gary, ‘Thanks, I appreciate it. And thanks for not laughing.’
‘Is it OK if I do now?’ said Gary, stifling a laugh.
‘I suppose,’ said Gill, breaking into a smile.
Gary couldn’t help himself. The pent up laughter he had
been holding in since the restaurant, suddenly spilled out. ‘I’m sorry, I
didn’t look or anything, but when you wrapped my jacket round your waist,
trailing down your legs, that was possibly the funniest thing I’ve seen all
year.’
‘Yes, I see how that might have been funny. I just had to
get out of there. Would you like a drink? One for the road?’ she clarified,
so he knew where the boundaries were.
‘What do you have?’
‘Beer, wine, vodka…’
‘I’ll take a beer, please.’
Gill fetched a glass of
rosé
and a bottled beer from
the fridge. She handed the beer to Gary, who sat on the edge of the sofa.
He’d obviously realised nothing was going to happen
tonight. She hadn’t even felt worried about him now knowing where she lived,
despite the agency’s warnings. He just seemed so unthreatening.
That’s
what everyone always says about serial killers
, she thought.
Surprisingly, Gary drank his beer quickly, then said, ‘I
best be off.’
‘Oh, let me at least call you a taxi, especially after the
inconvenience I put you to. I’ll pay for it of course.’
‘Don’t be daft. It was entertaining if nothing else.’
‘Glad to be of assistance,’ Gill joked.
Ten minutes later the taxi arrived. Gary turned to Gill,
looked her in the eye and said, ‘I had a really good time tonight. I hope we
can do it again soon.’
Gill mumbled something noncommittal about how she had
enjoyed herself, thanked him again and showed him out.
As soon as the door closed behind him, she pressed her full
weight against it and sank slowly to the floor. After a few minutes, her
thoughts turned to Anton. Anton. She jumped up. He’d e-mailed her. Pouring
herself another glass of wine, she settled into her chair to re-read and savour
his message.
Missed calls – two new messages. She listened as she heard
Angela asking her to call her back. Second new message: Angela again.
‘Gill,
call me, you’ve got me worried. Want to ensure you haven’t been chopped into
little pieces and dumped in a wood somewhere.’
She phoned Angela straightaway.
‘Hi Ang, sorry, you’ll never believe what just happened.’
Angela remained silent as Gill poured out the whole sorry
tale.
‘It wasn’t funny!’ she wailed, as Angela could barely speak
for laughing. Gill could hear her snorts and coughs from the other end of the
phone, even though she was clearly holding the receiver away from her.
‘So, not for you?’ Angela asked, when she’d regained her
composure.
‘No spark.’
‘And did he really look like Liam Neeson?’
‘Sort of, yes, but there was no churning feeling in my
stomach, no feeling weak at the knees, no
I’m going to orgasm by just
looking at him
feeling.’
‘Chance would be a fine thing.’
‘Yes, indeed.’
‘So what now?’
‘Well he said he had a really nice time and he hoped we
could do it again soon. I dodged the question.’
‘Gill!’
‘I know, I know, but c’mon, it’s been a tough night. I’d
just ripped the arse out of my trousers in the middle of a bar in town, during
a first date which wasn’t going anywhere.’
‘Well, look on the bright side.’
‘There’s a bright side?’
‘You could have been totally into him and that could have
happened. I’m sure you’d rather choose when to put your thong on display.’
‘Yes, I suppose that’s a blessing. Thank God I’ve got a
night off from all this tomorrow. I’m wrecked.’
‘So, who’s next?’
‘The drunken Irishman again.’
‘Ah, so he gets another chance.’
‘Well, I’m reserving judgment on that for now, but yes, I am
meeting up with him again.’
‘I heard he was cute.’
Gill demurred then answered, ‘Yes, he was bloody adorable.
Thirty-five. Probably hot as hell when not shit-faced. Let’s see if the
pleasure of my company will be riveting enough to keep him sober this time.’
‘I’m sure it wasn’t anything to do with you, or how good
company you were. Like Lise said, he was just nervous.’
‘Well if he felt nervous then, how’s he going to feel this
time, knowing he screwed it up last time? With that logic, he’d be better off
not turning up at all.’
‘But he is turning up and he obviously thinks you’re worth
the effort.’
‘Hmm,’ said Gill, ‘We’ll see.’
‘So is there anything else new to report on the love front?’
asked Angela. ‘Any new profiles?’
‘No, no new profiles, but I did get an e-mail from Anton
when I was waiting for Gary to turn up.’
‘You were waiting for him?’ Angela said, confused.
‘Yes, he was late. Train got cancelled.’
‘Okaay,’ said Angela, knowing what a stickler Gill was for
punctuality. ‘And this Gary, he’s still alive, is he? You haven’t hidden him
under the floorboards?’
‘Ha ha, you’re not funny.’
‘Beg to differ. Anyway, what’s lover boy saying?’
‘Anton?’
‘Yes, Anton.’
‘Well, he wants to take me for dinner on Saturday night.’
‘That’s great then, isn’t it? This is the one you’ve liked
the most, right?’
‘Yep. And, he might stay over.’
‘With you?’ Angela asked.
‘No, at one of the hotels in town. That way he doesn’t have
to head back on the last train and we can stay out.’
‘Or stay in.’
‘Yes, or stay in,’ repeated Gill.
‘And how do you feel about that?’
‘Ang, do you know how long it’s been since I last had sex?’
‘A while?’
‘More than a while and there’s only so much a vibrator can
do.’
Angela burst out laughing. For a laugh, they’d all bought
exactly the same toy at Lisa’s sister’s adult themed party. They all swore by
them, even those with partners.
‘But how do you feel mentally? I mean you like him, but
he’s still a stranger really.’
‘Yes, well, I suppose I’ll only know on the night, and who
knows, he might not intend for that to happen.’
‘Gill.’
‘Yes?’
‘He’s a man. Of course he expects that to happen, or at
least wants that to happen.’
‘He’s not alone!’
‘Right, well, as long as you’re happy.’
‘I am. I think. I won’t do anything I’m not sure of.
Anyway, I better go. I need to catch up with some work and e-mail him back,
too.’
‘Don’t sit there over-analysing every word of a two sentence
e-mail for half an hour, will you?’
‘Would I do that?’
‘In a word? Yes. Don’t.’
‘OK, I won’t. Talk to you soon. Hugs to Matthew.’
‘I’ll pass them on. Night.’
Gill hung up and ensconced herself once more on the sofa,
where she checked her e-mails to re-read Anton’s earlier e-mail. To her
surprise, she had one from Charlie.
‘Hi Gill. Sorry I had to rush off on Sunday. Had lost
track of time, as was really enjoying your company. Would like to see you
again, if you fancy it. If you do, would like to take you out Friday night.
Let me know, cheers, Charlie.’
Wow, that was unexpected. She had given up on Charlie. So
now, potentially, she was seeing Charlie on Friday and Anton on Saturday.
Hmm. What to do? She had tomorrow night free to catch up, interviews on
Thursday and Friday, but as long as they made it around eight o’clock, she
would have time to nip home, shower and change. It was one thing meeting after
work mid-week and changing at the office, quite another on a Friday night, when
everyone was glammed up.
She tapped into her phone,
‘I understand about Sunday.
Don’t worry about it. Could meet you eight o’clock on Friday. Let me know if
that suits. Gill.’
Two minutes later her phone beeped. ‘
Sounds like a plan.
Do you like Thai food?’
She loved Thai food. She and the girls quite often went to
a Thai restaurant up near the Mitchell Library for special occasions like
birthdays. It wasn’t the cheapest, but the food was amazing, worth every
penny.
‘Love Thai food.’
‘Great. Do you know Fountain of Siam? Do you want me to
pick you up, or shall I meet you there?’
‘Yes, I know it. I’ll meet you inside at eight.’
‘Look forward to it.’
Maybe this dating game wasn’t such a disaster after all.
Gary sat in the taxi and reflected upon the evening. He’d
liked Gill. She was his kind of girl, but he didn’t think he was necessarily
her kind of guy. Had he bored her? She had seemed kind of distracted. Maybe
she was annoyed with him for being late, but he couldn’t help it. Gary
sighed. Why was it that women who interested him, weren’t into him and vice
versa? He didn’t consider himself a bad catch. He even thought they might
have had a lot in common, particularly with her having studied Engineering, but
he knew that something had been missing. Neither could he fool himself that it
was simply because of the abrupt way their official date had ended. He just
hoped she’d give him another chance. He hadn’t even tried to kiss her goodbye,
because it was so apparent that she wasn’t receptive to that. But he wasn’t
ready to give up just yet.
Chapter Twenty
Thursday 15th September
Gill was glad she had spent the evening at home on
Wednesday. It had been a busy day and the rest of the week looked likely to be
jam-packed, because of the interviews and her impending dates with Charlie and
Anton.
She’d received an e-mail from Sean first thing on Wednesday
morning,
‘Thanks for giving me another chance. We could go to the
pictures, if you fancy it and have coffee before or afterwards. Let me know if
that’s OK and if there’s anything you’d like to see. Sean.’
Well, at least he would be less likely to get plastered at
the cinema. Gill had checked the listings and e-mailed him back to say she
quite fancied a new romcom which was on at the multi-screen in Renfrew St. She
didn’t ask him if that suited. He had his penance to pay. The film started at
seven and she suggested they have coffee afterwards.
‘Sounds great. See you inside, ground floor at ten to
seven. Sean.’
Gill had also received a message from Gary on Wednesday afternoon,
asking if he could see her again and if so, was she free this weekend. She
hadn’t replied, as she couldn’t make it this weekend, and she hadn’t quite
decided if she wanted to go out with him again. Her gut instinct said no, as
there had been no connection, but he
had
come to her rescue when her
trousers had ripped. Plus he looked like Liam Neeson. And it wouldn’t do to
put all her eggs in one basket just yet.
By the time Janice arrived at the office, Gill had already
done two hours work.
‘Coffee, Janice? I’ll get it. I need a break before I do
these interviews. The first one’s due in at half nine.’
‘Love one, thanks. So, do you have a good feeling about
this?’ Janice asked, as she dragged off her dripping coat.
‘Well, I really hope I can choose someone from this bunch.
I don’t want to do it all again. I’d like to start someone as soon as
possible. Otherwise you and I will both get committed to a mental
institution.’
‘You’re not wrong there.’
Gill poured the coffee, handed a cup to Janice, and then
said, ‘Would you have a preference for a man or a woman?’
Janice hesitated for a split-second, and then said, ‘Never
really thought about it. As long as they’re hard-working, professional and
have some personality, that’s enough for me.’
‘Right, good,’ said Gill, thinking hard. She tried not to
have preconceived notions before interviewing commenced, but sometimes it was
difficult. Often those opinions changed anyway, as some candidates who seemed
very promising on paper, were dismal at interviews and vice versa.
‘So who’s first up then?’
Gill glanced at her list. ‘Leslie Crutherland, and then at
eleven, Angus Mackie. Then this afternoon, we have Carol Leishman and Patrick
O’Hara. Then four more tomorrow.’
‘Fingers crossed, eh?’
‘I’m keeping an open mind and everything crossed,’ said
Gill.
Leslie had an impeccable CV. Unfortunately Gill found him
pompous and overbearing. She couldn’t imagine him working with her, never mind
for her. In the interview he acted as if he was her boss, and constantly
interrupted her with questions, whilst she was still speaking. No.
Angus she had met once before at an association dinner.
Friendly and charming, and although he had only been in Recruitment for two
years, he knew his stuff. He had in fact, even wrested a couple of pieces of
business away from Gill. Maybe.
Carol Leishman, opinionated and very successful, but the
woman’s laugh could break windows. Since Gill and Janice would have to work in
close proximity to her on a daily basis, Gill struck her off the list.
Charming Irishman Patrick O’Hara rounded off the day. But
there was something missing. Gill didn’t think he had the edge.
Gill sincerely hoped tomorrow’s interviews were more
productive. With an hour and a half per candidate, it had been a long and
gruelling day.
Janice asked Gill if she wanted her to stay late to help, as
she knew Gill would struggle to deal with everything she’d missed during the
day.
‘No, there’s no point both of us being stuck here. And
you’ve done more than enough holding the fort today. You go and have a nice
night. I’m going out tomorrow and Saturday.’
‘Well don’t overdo it. You don’t want to turn up to these
dates looking the way you do at the moment.’
Fortunately Gill was used to Janice’s brand of honesty and
didn’t take offence. When Janice left, Gill sat down to do payroll, followed
by taking care of various bills for the business. Thank God for internet
banking. She’d never have time to go to the bank each week in person and
Janice had enough to do. Remembering her thought about recruiting a student,
Gill put together a small advert. Whoever she got in could carry out some
basic admin tasks and help Janice. She then looked up the addresses of a few
of the local colleges and universities and e-mailed the advert across to them.
She felt elated that she was starting to put a small dent in her To Do list.
She really hoped the interviews tomorrow yielded more success than today.
Gill didn’t leave the office until ten o’clock, so she called
a taxi, rather than take the bus, as she was exhausted.
Ready meal again
, she thought, as she opened her
front door and discarded her briefcase. She grabbed hold of the flesh at her
stomach between both hands and decided she really needed to make some time to
exercise.
Zumba’s the answer
, she thought.
As soon as I hire this
new SRC, I’m going to start a fitness regime.
Taking a lasagne from the freezer, she scrutinised the
instructions and popping it on a plate, put it in the microwave for the
required six minutes. She kicked off her shoes then poured a glass of wine,
promising herself it would be her only one tonight, as tomorrow would be a long
day.
Gill sank onto the sofa and flicked on the TV. She
channel-hopped for a few minutes before realising she hadn’t had time to check
her personal e-mails all day. Too tired to boot up her laptop, she logged on
to her personal e-mail from her phone, and saw she had a new e-mail.
Hi Gill, hope you are well. I enjoyed
your company the other night. Were your trousers repairable? I get the
impression things would never be boring with you around. I’d like to see you
again. If you’re interested, I’ll be back on the 27th and could contact you
then. Gary
.
Gill’s emotions were mixed. To be honest, she didn’t know
how she felt about anything at the moment. Too many things were happening at
once. She couldn’t work out if that was good or bad. At least some of it was
social, as opposed to the constant work, work, work of before. She had
difficulty keeping up with her social diary now. Gary seemed a nice bloke, but
did she want just
nice
? She eventually decided she was too overcome
with tiredness to make any major decisions, so she put Gary on the backburner
and finished her lasagne.
Morning came all too quickly in Gill’s opinion. She’d flaked
out as soon as she hit the pillow last night. When her alarm trilled at six
o’clock, she could have happily thrown it out of the window. She tried to
snooze it for ten minutes, but next door’s cat was miaowing to be allowed in
and she realised she wasn’t getting another ten minutes sleep.
Gill felt sick of the sight of her office for the first time
ever. She knew it was down to not being out of it long enough. She needed to
perk up, not only for her interviews, but for her date with Charlie. At least
today she would have time to go home, shower and come back into town.
‘You look tired. What time did you leave here?’ were the
first words out of Janice’s mouth when she came through the door.
‘Morning. Ten.’
‘You look like it. I’ve heard those caffeine sticks are
good. Like roll-on deodorant, but for under your eyes.’
‘I’ll bear that in mind,’ said Gill. ‘Now talking of
caffeine, do you want a coffee? I need another.’
‘What time have you been here since?’
‘Quarter past seven.’
‘Jesus. Well, let’s hope you do find the right candidate.
Otherwise you’re going to be absolutely wrecked if this continues.’
‘What do you mean I’m
going
to be wrecked?’ joked
Gill.
‘Quite,’ said Janice, as she switched on her computer.
‘Right, I’m going to lock myself in my office and attack
yesterday’s e-mails, before the first interviewee turns up.’
‘No problem. I’ll let you know when he gets here.’
‘Thanks, Janice. Roll on the weekend, eh?’
‘I think yours is going to be a wee bit more exciting than
mine.’
‘Well, I live in hope,’ said Gill, retreating into her
office.
After another gruelling interview session, Gill had come to
the conclusion that her best bet lay with Thursday’s candidates. She had her
new SRC. She just hoped he agreed to the package she intended to put together
for him, as quite frankly there wasn’t a suitable runner-up. Angus Mackie
would fit in just fine. Janice had liked the look and sound of him, too. He
only needed to give a week’s notice, which was a bonus, but not the reason she’d
decided to hire him.
Five o’clock. Gill amended the draft proposal she’d been
working on over the past few days, adding in details on salary and start date.
She then printed it off, signed it and popped it in an envelope, ready for
posting on the way home. Already she felt relief. Soon they would be three.