The Dead of Winter (Seasons of Jefferson: Book 2) (30 page)

When I look up, Jenna is carrying an armload of packages. “Brought you guys some gifts.”

“We have some for you over on the mantle too, but I’ve been waiting for you to open this one with me. I think it’s from Peyton!” Kaitlyn’s voice is full of excitement.

“Peyton? Seriously? She got us a gift? I thought she blamed us for everything.”

Kaitlyn shrugs her shoulders. “Well, she’s been in counseling. Maybe she’s had a breakthrough.”

Glad she’s had some kind of a breakthrough.
I look down so they can’t see my bitter reaction to their gift.
It took long enough.
My desperate attempts to help her flood my mind. All the calls. The texts. The visits. I tried so hard to be patient. To bring her back. In my mind, I watch the snow globe shattering against her wall. I put so much effort into that perfect gift.

Her loss.
I work to think of the only thing that’s been making me happy since the accident. Instantly, my mind goes back to my happy place. It’s her. Tangles.
I’m moving on to someone a little more my style. Someone who keeps me on my toes. A hot and spicy country girl.
I look back down at my phone, staring at the empty screen.
Hmmm. What am I going to say to her?
I hear paper ripping and look up.

“This looks … interesting. What is it?” Kaitlyn holds up a funny looking doll. “It has my name written on it. I thought this gift was for both of us.”

“I know what this is!” Jenna lights up. “It’s a nesting doll. I have a collection of them at home. My parents bought them for me as gifts from Russia. They give me a new one every year for my birthday. It looks just like one that I have at home. Look inside. They come in sets.”

“When Kaitlyn cracks it open, a small slip of paper floats to the floor.”

I crawl over and pick it up.

“Oh, this one has your name on it.” Kaitlyn holds the smaller doll out to show Jenna her name scrawled in fancy script.

“Here,” I hand them the torn piece of paper. “Looks like you dropped something.”

Kaitlyn takes the tiny note and reads it. “Please accept this gift as my most sincere apology. Remember me when you wear them. You’ll always have a piece of my heart.”

My sister looks sincerely touched by the gesture, as she continues talking to Jenna. “Wow, that’s so sweet of her. But, how do you wear dolls?”

“You don’t wear them, silly. They open up. It’s a set. Here, let me see. There must be something inside.”

Jenna takes the funky looking doll back.
They sure are creepy looking things.
She holds it up to her ear and shakes it, then nods her head. “Yep. There’s something inside.”
When she cracks it open a couple more times, she discovers some type of jewelry.

“Oh, look! Charm bracelets!” Jenna holds them up. “Best and Friends. They’re labeled. Oh my gosh, Kait, your half has a saxophone, a swimmer, and a Beaver. Mine has a catcher’s mitt, a basketball, and I’m not sure what this is? Do you know?”

“Looks like some kind of a castle.” I watch her inspect her bracelet. “Cool.”

“A castle? That’s funny. She must be getting her sense of humor back. She always joked that I was a spoiled, little princess.” Jenna laughs. “Here, help me put it on.”

The girls gawk over their fancy new bracelets, holding them up to admire the bobbles.
They look a little bulky to me, but whatever. This is too much.
I continue to stew over the fact that Peyton gave the girls gifts and not me.
Aren’t “Best Friend” bracelets like fifth grade status? Glad she didn’t give me anything. Probably would’ve been a stuffed teddy bear or something lame. Guess I didn’t know her as well as I thought I did. I need to go text a real woman.

“Glad to see you’ve reconnected with P.” I make sure to pop the “P.” I want them to realize that they’re being a little insensitive.
Geez, did they ever think once about how I’d feel? How can they be so excited to get a gift from the girl who attacked me and left without looking back?
“See you later.” I say, raising my eyebrows and grabbing my phone and pushing off the chair.

By the looks on their faces, I can tell the girls realize they’ve made me feel bad. “Sorry, Caden. We didn’t think …”

Before they can finish their apologies, I cut them off. “It’s all good. I’m over her anyway. I’m working on someone new.” I hold up my phone and smirk.

A wave of smiles takes over the faces in the room. “Care to share a bit more?”

“Maybe later. See ya.” I walk out of the room, thinking of a way to text Tangles without sounding stupid.

Just as I make my way back to my room, it comes to me.
Group text! I can start out slow … talk about the tickets, and get her warmed up to me. Never gonna catch a fish unless I cast the line. Go for it, Woodley.
I pick up my phone and make sure to include both girls in the message.

ME: Hey girls. I have to admit, you kicked butt last night. I’ve got the tickets to the party, but you still need to claim your season passes. Text me for details.

JESSIE MAY: Sounds good. Yeah, last night kicked ass. YOU were amazing.

ME: Awww, shucks. You’re such a doll! And, you weren’t too bad yourself.

TANGLES: Gag!

JESSIE MAY: Oh, Avery. Snap out of your mood. It’s Christmas.

TANGLES: Please forgive me. It was just a little hard to read your kissass texts back and forth. Besides, HE had nothin' to do with that win. Neither did you, Jessie May. So why are you congratulating each other on MY win? ;)

So sassy.
Her text makes her sound a little jealous of Jessie May. She did act funny when we were messing around down at the school. I think back on the frosting fight when we made each other’s faces look like camouflaged hunters. Tangles did not look the least bit impressed with our frosting makeup skills.

JESSIE MAY: Yeah, sure. YOUR win. I’m the one who got us to the store in 5 minutes, and Caden threw in a whole 50 bucks so we didn’t have to wait around collecting Salvation Army money.

ME: Don’t forget, we’d probably still be running around Mt. Shasta if MY friend hadn’t picked us up.

ME: And Jessie May did charm the socks off of the cookie decorating judge. If it wasn’t for her sweet smile and adorable giggle we would’ve had at least another twenty minutes redecorating our gloppy icing.

JESSIE MAY: Awww, shucks. I’m blushing.

The texting stops. I lie on my bed re-reading our conversation. Boy, Jessie May and I did sound a little flirty. Hope I didn’t give her the wrong idea. Or worse, piss off Tangles and ruin my shot with her. I know how much girls hate watching a guy flirt with their best friend.
Damn it. Did I blow it? I need to fix this.

ME: I have to confess, I’ve never seen another girl chop wood quite like Tangles. Wouldn’t I love to learn your secret. ;)

There. A compliment. Hopefully that can get us back on track.
I hate to admit it, but I’m bothered by the lack of messaging.
Come on. Text back already.
Frustrated, I throw the phone down on my bed and start to watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. A light tap at my door pulls my attention away from Clark and the pool scene.

“Hey, Caden?”

It’s Jenna’s voice.

“Come in.” I pick up my phone one more time.
Nothing.
I set it face down on the bed, and look up to see Jenna and Kaitlyn come through the door.

“Brody’s here. He wants to take a ride in your new truck. You up for a little Christmas drive?”

Drive. Out there? In the snow?
Suddenly I feel sick. “I’m not feeling so well. Maybe later, huh?”

“You’re kidding right? You just downed three pieces of quiche and a cinnamon roll. You feel fine. I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to get out of driving. You’re still scared aren’t you?”

I can’t answer her. Not in front of Jenna.

“Aren’t you, Caden?”

Jenna’s face shows a sudden look of realization. I watch her jaw slacken. “Oh, Caden. It’s not your medication, is it? Of course it’s not. You’re not even taking it anymore.” Jenna’s mumbling so low, I can barely make out her words. “You’re scared to drive. That’s why you made me park the truck at your dad’s store last night. That’s why you made me take you to Peyton’s … Why didn’t I see it? I’m a horrible friend.”

“You need to tell Mom and Dad. You need help with this. This isn’t like you, Caden. You’re strong and brave. Something’s wrong with you.”

I don’t answer.

“It’s okay to need help.”

“Need help with what, babe?” Brody walks up behind T.

Great. This is all I need. On top of everything else, my best friend is going to think I’m a wuss.

“It’s Caden. He’s scared to drive. I think it’s because of the wreck.”

I can not believe she just sold me out to Brody.

“Shut the hell up, T!”

“Hey dude, don’t talk to your sister like that. She just wants to help you out.” Brody does that thing he does when he’s being protective, and wraps himself around her.

It’s great when he protects her from other people, but not me. He was my friend first!
“Great. Now I can’t even count on my best friend to have my back!”

The volume of my voice comes out just a little louder than I’d intended. I know it’s because I’m feeling embarrassed and humiliated.
I knew my best friend had it bad for my sister, but I never thought he’d side with her on something like this.
I’m hurt. I feel betrayed, and I’m pissed about it. Everything I’ve been shoving down for the past month is boiling inside of me. The wreck. My arm. The nightmares. The pain. Not being able to play basketball.
And what kind of chump is afraid to drive his own truck?

“You know what? Why don’t you all just mind your own damn business? Leave me alone. You hear me? Leave me the hell alone! This is my thing, NOT YOURS!” I shout as I slam my hand against the door jam. I pause, and fiercely glare down not only Kaitlyn, but Jenna and Brody too. I’m telling them, with as much fervor as I have in me, that I am done with this. They’d better knock it off, or I’m going to lose it in a big way. As I try to squeeze my way past Brody, and out into the living room, I run straight into my father. He’s standing tightly, next to my mother. He stops me from going any further, holding me firmly by my shoulders.

“Son, why didn’t you tell us?”

“There’s nothing to tell, Dad.”

“Yes there is, Caden, and you know it!” My damn sister butts in again.

“Shut up, T!” I spit.

“Do not tell your sister to shut up. It sounds to me like she’s worried about you. She’s only trying to help.”

“I don’t need anyone’s help. This is my thing! I’m the one who did it, and I’m the one who has to live with it! I’m sorry if it’s affecting you!”

I have got to get out of here. I’m ready to break. The last thing I need to do is start crying.

“Kids, will you excuse us?”

Phew, saved by Mom.
I start to pull away from my dad.

My mom’s voice stops me. “No, not you Caden. We need to talk.”

My sister, Jenna, and Brody all head out, leaving me standing there alone to face my parents.

“Let’s go into your room, son.” My mom’s tone is soothing. It almost makes me forget that I’m about ready to face one of those life-changing talks.

“I’ve been talking to a few of my friends on staff at the high school. You know, just to find out if there’s any way I could help you kids.”

“Mom!” I interrupt. “That’s so embarrassing. What did you tell them?”

“Caden, they all know about the accident. There’s nothing embarrassing about it. I just wanted to see if there were any resources around here to help teenagers who’ve been through something like this.”

I know my face is red. I can feel the heat pounding in my forehead.
How has my life turned into this?
One minute I’m a happy, healthy high school athlete, and the next, I’m a disabled head case.

“Well, what I found out, is there are a couple support groups in our area, for teens who have been through different kinds of trauma. It’s just a place to talk, you know, connect with other kids your age who are working through some tough stuff.”

“Oh no. Uh uh. I am not going to talk about this stuff with kids who go to my high school. No flipping way.”

“I thought you might say that. The groups I looked into don’t meet in our town. There’s one in Medford and one in Mount Shasta.”

“Well, I’m glad those kids are getting help. That makes me really happy. Can I go now?”

“Yes you can. To one of those groups.”

I look at my mother in disbelief.

“I’m with your mother on this one, son. We’re going to insist that you go. At least a couple of times, just to see if you get something out of it. If it doesn’t work for you, then we’ll look into a more individual plan of action. Maybe a counselor.”

I throw my head back, and release the breath I’ve been holding. “You’re really making me do this? What if I don’t?”

“Then you’ll be walking everywhere you go until you get better. No more rides from friends and family, Caden. You’ve got to do this. It’s for your own good.”

“I’m thinking you might want to go to the group in the South County. At least during the winter. It’s not quite as bad as driving over the Siskiyous.”

There’s no way in hell I’m driving that mountain pass in the snow. How am I going to get out of this? Ugh.

“I’ll go once.”

“Once?”

I have to pull out my best negotiating skills. There’s no way that I’m going to be spending my entire winter and spring with a bunch of messed up teenagers. If I know anything about myself, it’s that I always want to fix the issues of the world, and I am not about to take on everyone else’s problems too. “ONE time. To the one in South County. And if I don’t get anything out of it, I’m done.”

“We’ll talk about that when the time comes,” my dad retorts.

“When is it?”

“They’re taking a break til after New Year’s. Until then, we’ll let the kids drive you anywhere you need to go. Deal?”

I really have to think about this. Hopefully by then, I’ll be up for driving again. “Deal,” I groan.
This is going to suck.