The Dead Series (Book 1): Tell Me When I'm Dead (21 page)

In the morning I opened my eyes and saw Holly getting dressed. Her hair was wet from a shower, and she smelled wonderful. I tried not to think about it.

“There’s coffee,” she said.

She sat on the bed and watched the local news while I showered. Usually I would come out naked and put on my clothes. Instead, I dressed in the bathroom.

A short time later we gathered outside on the balcony. There was no safe place for us to meet. We were concerned that the undead might have wandered into the area. The balcony was a good place from which to observe.

All of us except Holly had weapons. Instead of a gun, I decided to hold on to my axe.

“So what’s the plan?” Ben said.

“Normally I would advise driving to safety,” Landry said. “But after listening to the news this morning, it’s sounding like there may be nowhere left that’s safe.”

“What about getting ahead of it?” Aaron said. “We could try LA or San Diego.”

“That’s assuming the roads are clear,” Ben said.

“It might buy us time,” I said. “But if they can’t stop this thing, it’ll spread everywhere.”

“And you’re forgetting that the town is under quarantine. That means no one gets in or out,” Landry said.

“Even if we’re not infected?” Ben said.

“Tell me, Ben, what does infection look like? How do we know we’re not carrying the virus?”

“There must be tests,” Holly said.

“Afraid not. Looks like we wait it out.”

“Is that possible?” Aaron said. “I mean, what are our chances?”

“Not good,” Landry said. “Eventually there might not be power or fresh water or food. Things we take for granted.”

“And we’ll have to make sure we don’t get sick,” I said. “I don’t mean bitten—I mean any other kind of illness.”

“Right,” Landry said. “Who knows what medicines will be available.”

“Or doctors,” Ben said.

Landry continued. “Our weapons will hold out for a while, but we’ll have to maintain a steady supply of ammo. Not just to fight the undead. There’s going to be a lot of desperate people. Worse than what we saw at the grocery store.”

“You mean like the Red Militia,” I said.

“Right. And with desperation comes more violence. And don’t forget, right now there may be thousands of people like us planning what to do next. And there’s only so many resources.”

“I’m guessing most people will try to leave,” I said.

“And they’ll be shot,” Landry said.

“What about the back roads?”

“I don’t think so. The authorities can’t afford to let this thing spread any more than it has already.”

“Do you think Black Dragon will be able to contain it?” Aaron said.

“Hard to say,” Landry said. “You saw what happened at the high school. No, I’m thinking we’re on our own.”

Holly was quiet during the discussion. I kept looking at her for clues.

Ben said, “Holly, what do you think?”

She looked at the others, then at me. “I want to stay,” she said. There didn’t seem to be any doubt in her mind.

I was surprised and very afraid. I didn’t want to remain here. Like any rational human, I preferred to take my chances on the road. “Why?” I said. It came out angrier than I intended.

“Because I grew up here. And I guess I’ll die here.”

She went back into our room and closed the door. We saw her through the window, sitting on the bed.

She was praying.

“I need you to talk some sense into her,” I said to Landry.

We were in Ben and Aaron’s room, which was the furthest away, so Holly couldn’t hear us through the thin motel walls. Ben made tea for us. I stood in front of the bed with Aaron and Landry. We were all edgy.

“Sounds to me like her mind is pretty much made up,” Landry said.

“It’s crazy staying here. This town is like—”

“The epicenter, I know.”

“So you need to tell her,” I said. “There’s got to be a way out of here.”

“Let’s look at it from the other side,” Landry said as Ben handed us our tea. I hated when he did that. Considering the other side meant it had validity. “We could pull together more supplies and find a way out. You already know the main roads are blocked. I assume the fire roads are blocked as well.”

“I got through before.”

“They were just starting to secure the area then,” Ben said. “Now they’re everywhere. And what about the helicopter patrols?”

Landry blew on his tea. “Never mind. Let’s say by some miracle we did make it out. Where do we go? North? South? East?”

“I was thinking south,” I said.

“Why?” Aaron said.

“How the hell should I know? Maybe LA isn’t infected yet.”

“Dave,” Landry said, “there are tons of tourists here in August—many from LA. All it would take is one who’s infected to return there and spread the disease.”

“But we’d have more of a chance to survive. It wouldn’t be as widespread.”

“And what about getting there? You think we’re the only ones trying to leave this place? You think there won’t be criminals and psychos of every shape, size and creed on the highway? Did you ever think it won’t be the undead who kill us, but ordinary people?”

“So what are we supposed to do? Wait around to die?” I felt everyone was against me.

“No, we have to find someplace safe.”

“So you agree with Holly.”

“I didn’t say that.” Landry looked at me with those piercing blue eyes I knew all too well from countless science lectures. “I’m simply weighing the options.”

“Let’s look at the other side,” Ben said. “Suppose we stay and can’t find someplace safe. What if it’s one day after the next fighting hordes of undead and the Red Militia on the weekends? This place is swarming. How long do we think we can survive here?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “And I vote we get out.”

“Hold on, Dave. This is too important a decision to vote on without giving this some real thought. I for one need the night. Ben?”

“Yeah, me too. I want to talk it over more with Aaron.”

“Fine,” I said. “You guys sleep on it, and meanwhile the gates of Hell are opening wider.”

“Let’s not overdramatize,” Landry said.

“Shit, I can’t believe you guys.” I threw my teacup across the room, where it splashed the wall and bounced onto the carpet. Then I left. I knew Ram would send me the cleaning bill. Screw it.

“So did you guys come to a decision?” Holly said as I sat on the bed, motionless, stewing in my own juices.

It was evening. I’d spent the day walking in circles around the motel, trying to convince myself there was a way out of this. I knew it was stupid to be outside. I could have been attacked.

“No,” I said. “They want to think about it tonight.”

“Look, Dave. I don’t expect you to stay with me. I’ve made my decision. You need to do what’s right for you.” Her face betrayed no emotion. Her eyes were red, and there was a small, bloody scratch where she’d chewed her lip.

“You mean, you’d go it alone here?”

“Yes.”

I saw that she was holding a rosary she must’ve picked up at St. Monica’s. It was made of blue plastic, with a little white crucifix at the end—the kind they give away at the Children’s Mass.

“You still remember how to use that thing?” I said.

“I do. Want me to show you?”

“Maybe later.”

I went outside and stood on the balcony, looking at the night sky. Every instinct, every feeling in my body told me to run. There was nothing holding me here anyway. Holly and I were done. She had absolved me from the need to stay with her and protect her. She’d said it. I was free to do what was right for
me
. And I wanted so much to take her up on it. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had no home. I was, like the song says,
free fallin’
.

Landry must have seen me, because he came out and joined me on the balcony. He patted my shoulder and gazed up at the stars.

“Pretty, aren’t they? Can you show me where Ursa Major is?”

“I think I was sick that day.”

“It’s right over there,” he said, pointing. “And there’s Ursa Minor.”

“Little Bear.”

“See? You do remember.”

“What I remember is, a time when I could look up at the stars and not worry whether some creature from Hell was sneaking up behind me.”

“Me too.”

“And I remember what it was like to be young. Without any worries other than being late for hockey practice. I don’t feel young anymore.”

“We all have to grow up. Sooner or later.”

“Not like this.”

“Looking back, do you remember what it was like being at your best?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“When was that?”

“On the ice with a stick in my hand.”

“Do you remember what it felt like?”

“Like I ruled. Nothing could stop me—not a broken nose or a bigger opponent. It was the one time in my life I can remember not being scared.”

“You need to get that feeling back, Dave, and soon.” Landry touched my shoulder again, then left me on the balcony.

I looked at the stars, trying to find my courage. But all I could do was contemplate a bleak, lonely future without Holly.

How did they find me?
When I opened my eyes, I was on the floor of Jim’s kitchen, in a sea of empty beer bottles. I had drunk everything in the refrigerator. From the smell of me, I must have pissed myself. I had a blinding headache and a very real urge to puke. The sun was not yet high, and I felt the cool of the morning from a breeze blowing in through the open front door.

“Dave, get up,” a familiar voice said through the fog.

I tilted my head, and daggers of pain tore through it. Ben and Aaron stared down at me. Arms hoisted me and dragged me towards the kitchen table. Before I reached it, I staggered, stiff-legged, to the sink and brought up more sick than I’d seen in a long time. It reeked and looked like everything I’d eaten or drunk in the last five years. The smell made me go again. The cycle lasted for minutes, to the point of dehydration.

“How did you guys even …”

“It’s not important,” Ben said.

“Where’s Landry?”

“With Holly. We told her you were out checking the roads. Come on, we need to get you out of here. You dumb son of a bitch, one of those creatures could have wandered in here last night.”

“I don’t care.”

Ben grabbed me and threw me into one of the chairs. I’d never seen him so angry. I was a little scared.

“This is how it starts,” he said. “It just takes one. Then everything falls apart.”

“Come on, Dave,” Aaron said. “We need you, man.”

“You’ll do fine.”

“No, we won’t,” Ben said. “We have to stick together.”

“You don’t need a drunk slowing you down.”

Ben looked at Aaron, exasperated. Aaron took a seat beside me. He was a good kid, and I didn’t mind.

“Dave, a day ago you were a hero. We never would’ve made it out of that cul-de-sac if you hadn’t been so focused.”

“We got lucky.”

I saw by the look on Ben’s face that Aaron hadn’t told his father what had happened.

“Let’s see if there’s any coffee,” Ben said, and began rummaging through the cabinets.

“On the right,” I said. “Coffee and coffee maker are up there.”

Aaron found some cups. He practically had to nuke the sink before using it.