The Debra Dilemma (The Lone Stars Book 4) (14 page)

“Debra Covington.” She sat up, moved off of Warren’s lap, and sat down beside him.

She didn’t look at him. She was the color of oatmeal and she moved like a ragdoll.

“Hey, Debra, I thought that was you. So this is where you hang out when you’re not at Safe Place.” He took the syringe from the man behind him. “Not going to lie, this is going to sting.”

“Earl?” She held out her arm for him.

He gave her the shot and she didn’t so much as flinch.

“What happened to the lady we brought in last week?” He capped the syringe and handed it back to the man behind him. Apparently the man behind him didn’t have any importance, or even a name.

“Ben patched her up, and I put her and her daughter on a plane to Phoenix. She’s moving in with her sister. She filed for divorce yesterday.” Debra was starting to sound more like herself.

“Good to hear. I hate the repeats.” He rolled back on his knees and then stood. “Let’s get you on the sofa and make you comfortable.”

Warren didn’t give it another thought, he scooped Debra up and carried her to the sofa and she didn’t say anything about it.

“I don’t think you need to go to the ER, but we’re happy to take you if you want.” Earl followed them to the sofa.

“No thanks, I’m just going to sleep it off here.” She snuggled into the sofa and Warren pulled the throw off the back of the sofa and wrapped it around her.

“I’ll stay and make sure she’s okay.” Over his dead body was he leaving her side.

Debra looked like she wanted to argue and then nodded. “Okay.”

Earl nodded toward the front door and Warren followed him. “She needs to eat and drink lots of water. When the adrenaline and medication wear off, she’s going to be tired. Make sure she sleeps, but monitor her breathing in case the swelling returns.”

Warren held out his hand. “Thanks so much. I’ll take care of her.”

Earl shook his hand and called, “I’ll stop by Safe Place in the next day or two and check on you.”

“Thanks,” Debra said from the sofa.

Earl and nameless both nodded and headed out the front door. Warren closed it behind them.

He walked back to the sofa. “I’m so sorry.”

Just add another I’m-sorry to the already long list.

“Not your fault.” She sat up. “I’m the one with the allergy.” She licked her lips. “Can you get me a glass of water? My throat is dry.”

“Anything.” He headed into the kitchen to hunt up a glass and some water.

“Thanks for staying with me.” She sounded exhausted.

“No problem.” If it were up to him, he’d stay forever.

He’d begged her for one date and then he screwed it up so much that she’d almost died. He told himself that this was nothing more than a hiccup, because he refused to believe that they wouldn’t end up together, but he was willing to admit as signs went, this was a pretty big one that they weren’t meant to be. Thank God, he didn’t believe in signs.

Debra woke to…humming? She tried to burrow back deep under her down comforter, but the strip of light coming from her partially open bedroom door and the off-key humming were hard to ignore. Because the blinds were drawn and her curtains were closed she couldn’t tell the time of day, but it felt like it was late. Sleeping during the day and working all night often left her feeling disjointed, but now it was even worse.

Good thing she had two days off back-to-back.

She sat up trying to figure out why the light was on in her living room and who in the world was humming. Surely, she should feel a sense of urgency, but then the humming stopped and her foggy brain chalked it up to mind games.

Wait a minute, now she remembered she’d gone into anaphylaxis after Warren had kissed her. She should be embarrassed and a month ago, she would have been mortified, but coming to terms with losing AJ had taught her that there were worse things in life than a little embarrassment.

A cold draft wafted against her shoulders and she shivered. She looked down. They were bare. She pulled the covers back and glanced down. Apparently she was bare from head to toe.

She scanned the room for her clothes. They were neatly folded on top of her dresser. She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, puffing out her cheeks. It wasn’t likely that she stumbled in here, took off her clothes, folded them, and then went to bed.

She shook her head. Warren had undressed her. Now the embarrassment was starting to sink in. It’s not like he hadn’t seen everything before, but that was a long time ago. Now, it felt like an intrusion.

The humming started back up. Funny, she didn’t remember him being a hummer.

She slid both feet down to the floor and stood. In her sleep-hung-over state, her body felt heavy and unwieldy, so she stumbled into the attached bathroom, flipped on the light, and answered nature’s call. After, she slipped on a bra and panties, a T-shirt, and grabbed her favorite super-soft sweatshirt. Back in the bedroom, she slid on the jeans and pulled the dark green sweatshirt on over her white T-shirt. Out of the top dresser drawer, she pulled out a pair of fluffy red socks.

She should have dressed up to see Warren, who was humming away in her living room, but she didn’t feel like it. Right now, she wanted nothing but comfort around and on her.

She opened her bedroom door all of the way and smelled Christmas…well, a Christmas tree. She stepped into the living room and her heart nearly stopped. A fir tree that had to be eleven feet tall, judging by her nine-foot ceilings and the fact that the treetop bent over a good two feet.

All she could do was stand there and stare as Warren stood on a ladder and industriously wrapped multi-colored twinkle lights around the top. Based on the mountain of light boxes and the strand upon strand of lights stung together, he had enough lights to wrap around the world…twice.

It wasn’t his fault he didn’t know.

The last time she’d had a Christmas tree was a week before AJ was born. She mashed her lips together. That’s right, she was now going to refer to that day as the day AJ was born, and not the day he died. It was his birthday and that is what she would remember and celebrate not the other way around.

All she remembered about her last Christmas tree was how happy she was wrapping the lights around the tree and decorating it with “Baby’s First Christmas” ornaments. She’d been so excited to bring her baby home.

“Oh my God, what’s wrong?” Warren jumped down from the ladder and came to her. “Why are you crying?”

He reached out like he was going to touch her face and then thought better of it and shoved his hands in the front pockets of his black slacks. “I…um…I noticed that you didn’t have a Christmas tree and I remembered that you loved the smell of real ones.” He was nervous like he couldn’t quite figure out what to do next.

“I did…I do.” She inhaled deeply. There was something comforting about the smell of a real Christmas tree. “It’s just…well.…” She brushed a hand across her cheek. She hadn’t realized that she was crying. She needed to share her feelings, and it would feel good to get things out.

But how did she start?

“I…um…the last Christmas tree I had was the year AJ was born. I decorated it for a baby’s first Christmas.” The tears came stronger. She would get through this. “When I came home from the hospital with no baby, it was hard to face the nursery…I’d done it up in green. My Aunt June had sewn all of the crib sheets and bumpers and matching curtains. I lived with her. She died a month before AJ was born. And my father….well…anyway, I had to face not only AJ’s bedroom, but that damned Christmas tree, alone.”

Plus, she hadn’t had anyone to buy Christmas gifts for since Aunt June died. Now she had Sweet Louise, Grace, Summer, Julia, Ben from work, and she guessed Warren. She’d gone from having no one to have several real friends.

His mouth dropped open, and the absolute horror on his face ,looked like a caricature of him.

The vibe turned very awkward.

She wanted to pull him into her arms and tell him that it was okay, but they weren’t there yet. It was kind of a shock to realize that she wanted to be there.

In a most unladylike fashion, she used the sleeve of her sweatshirt to wipe her cheeks and nose. “It’s just that…well…I guess in my mind, I equate Christmas with the loss of AJ.”

She thought about it for a second. “When I say it out loud, it sounds really stupid.”

He climbed the ladder and started to unwind the lights. “I’ll get rid of it.”

“No.” She went to him and touched his arm. “No, I like it. I’ve felt guilty long enough and now I need to attach some good memories with things I’ve written off as bad.” She wiped her face again. “I donated most of AJ’s things and the Christmas stuff to Goodwill, but I think I might have some ornaments.”

This was exciting. She went to the coat closet where she stored everything but coats—as this was central Texas and no one needed a coat—opened the door, and got up on her tippy toes to reach the two boxes on the top shelf.

“Let me.” Warren reached around her and slipped the boxes down one-by-one and stacked them on the floor. She picked up the top box and brought it to the sofa while he carried the other one.

As she set the box down and opened one flap, her heart pounded with excitement instead of trepidation. On top was the crystal and sterling silver tree-topper star that had belonged to her great-grandmother. She pulled it out. It was beautiful and tarnished, but she could clean that up.

Beautiful and tarnished exactly summed up her relationship with Warren. Could it be polished as easily as this tree topper? Did she want to go to all of that trouble?

Yes, she did. What she’d had with Warren all those years ago had been special and she wanted the chance to see if the spark was still there, because special didn’t come around very often.

Carefully, she laid the tree topper down on the sofa and pulled out a bundle wrapped in newspaper. As she tore the newspaper away, the back of a metal oblong ornament came into view. She didn’t remember this one. She turned it around and found that it was shape of a football and in the little square window in the center was a tiny picture of her holding AJ. She traced his tiny nose and closed eyes. He was perfection. It didn’t hurt as much to look at her baby boy as it had even a few days ago.

“Is that him?” Warren’s eyes were greedy to take in the picture and his hands went to the frame, but he didn’t touch it. He was waiting for her to tell him that it was okay. Of course he would want to see a picture of his son. Why hadn’t she realized that before?

“Yes, that was right after he was born.” She handed it to him. “I have a larger, clearer picture in an album in my nightstand.”

Like it was the crown jewels, he took the ornament and held it ever so carefully. He studied the photo.

“I’ll get the album.” She walked into her bedroom, opened the drawer in her nightstand, and picked up the album. She closed the drawer and went back into the living room. He should see his son. Maybe accepting what happened would help Warren also. “Here you go.”

Reluctantly, he gave up the ornament and took the brown fake leather bound book. He flipped to the first page. In the picture Debra stood in Aunt June’s front yard. Her hands tucked her T-shirt under her tiny baby bump.

“Aunt June insisted that I take a picture wearing the same thing and standing in the same place every month until the delivery.” At the time, Debra had thought it was stupid, but now it was interesting to see how her body changed every four weeks.

“Look at you.” He smiled to himself. “You were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I fell in the pool the first time I saw you. You were wearing a blue dress.”

“I didn’t know that. You fell in the pool?” She didn’t remember that, but he had been sopping wet when she’d gone outside to meet him.

“Yes, well, not my finest moment. I was trying to impress you so telling you that I’d fallen in the pool I was hired to clean wasn’t my best plan of attack.” He hunched his shoulders and flipped to the next page. He seemed completely out of his element and vulnerable just like the pool boy who’d come to clean her pool.

“Your bump is getting a little bit bigger. Were you sick? Did you have morning sickness?”” He leaned down to get a better look. He seemed hungry for every detail of their child.

“No, I never had any trouble except being tired during the last trimester.” She’d felt so alive when she’d been pregnant with AJ. Food tasted better, especially strawberries and chocolate ice cream. It was her turn to smile. She hadn’t eaten either of those things since AJ. Her stomach growled, reminding her that she hadn’t had anything to eat since last night. “I felt so good that I went with a midwife instead of an OB. I wanted a home birth.”

“I remember that you don’t like hospitals.” He flipped the page and inspected her ever-growing baby bump.

“My deepest regret is that I didn’t have an ultrasound.” That decision had haunted her.

“Why didn’t you?” He flipped to the next page and eyed her belly.

“I couldn’t afford it…well, I’d saved up the money out of my tips from bartending, but the transmission in Aunt June’s car gave out and I used the money to fix it. It was our only car.” Looking back, she’d made the right decision. They’d needed the car.

His brow knit in confusion. “What happened to the Porsche your father gave you when you turned sixteen?”

“I left home with the clothes on my back.” Even after everything that had happened, she didn’t regret giving her father the finger. AJ had been a blessing…the catalyst that forced her to stand on her own two feet.

Regret and anguish cut across Warren’s face. “I don’t think there are enough I’m-sorry’s in the world to make up for that.”

“Don’t blame yourself for that. The rift between my father and me started long before you. His throwing me out of the house was inevitable. If it hadn’t been over the baby, it would have been something else.” It had taken her years to see that. Her father hadn’t been able to break her or control her so they were never going to get along. “He liked his ladies biddable and subservient. Not until I started working at Safe Place did I fully understand that abuse has many forms and that’s one of them.”