The Debt 4 (4 page)

Raven couldn’t help but study the myriad
pictures of her and Jake together, marveling that she was suddenly on the other
side of the equation.
 
How many
times had she casually glanced at an US Weekly cover, read an article, watched
some piece on TMZ and made judgments—without ever once considering that
the people being discussed and filmed and photographed were real people with
real lives?

Even now, looking at pictures of them in
New York from the last day or two, it almost seemed to make the whole
thing—including her—feel so much less real.

It was as though she’d become an object,
even to herself.

She could sit there and evaluate her own
expressions, the tilt of her head, the truth of the smile on her face, the way
Jake was glancing over at her as they walked together on a city street.

I
look like I belong with him
,
she thought.

Was that just insanity?

After all, there was no way to believe
that she was anywhere near his league in terms of looks and sex appeal.
 
Clearly, Jake was slumming when it came
to her.

But Raven couldn’t stop examining the
pictures of them together, and the way they looked at one another, and she thought
that they really did look like a real couple.

Was it all still an act for Jake?

She knew it wasn’t an act anymore for
her, and maybe it had never really been an act.
 
She was turned on by
Jake Novak
in so many ways, and now that he’d defended her, stood up for
her—the feelings had only grown in intensity.

But Jake was a different animal.
 
She couldn’t figure him out.
 
One minute he was suggesting that what
was going on was real, but the next he seemed like a cynical star plotting to
keep his name on the front page in the best possible light that he could.

Isn’t
that the point?
 

Isn’t
that exactly what he’s supposed to be doing?
 
The poor guy can’t win with you,
Raven.
 
You want him to act like
your boyfriend, you want him to try and fix his PR issues, and then you hold it
against him when he does it.

Raven knew it wasn’t fair of her to pretend
she was okay with the business arrangement between them when in reality she
wanted more from him.

Jake had been honest and up front with
her from the beginning, so she had no one to blame but herself for this
conflict between what she wanted and what he was willing to give her.

Of course, then she thought about the way
Jake had continued to touch her, to kiss her, to do things to her that had no
place in a business relationship.

And that made her mad, and then she got
more confused, which caused her to only go on her phone and check the news and
social media more, as if somehow the truth would be revealed to her through the
outside world.

In the midst of her
internet
surfing frenzy, she got a text from Skylar.

Hanging
with the folks.
 
No word yet about
the biopsy.
 
How r u doing?

Raven felt suddenly awful for not even
texting or calling Skylar—truthfully, not
even
thinking about her friend for hours and hours.
 
Meanwhile, Skylar was probably worried
and terrified, just wanting to get some good news so she could forget this
whole horrible nightmare had happened.

Raven texted her back:
 
I
am ok.
 
Should I come hang?
 

And then quickly came Skylar’s reply.

No
its
cool.
 
J
 
U
have
fun with
your prince charming.

Raven wiped the tears that were streaming
down her cheeks now.
 
She didn’t
deserve a friend as nice and kind and thoughtful as Skylar.
 
Raven promised herself to be a better
friend, to care more, to think less of her own problems.

Text
me if you need anything, anything at all
, Raven wrote back.
 
I don’t care if its 3 am.
 
You call me I will be there in a flash.

Awwww
thanks!
 
U are the best, Raven.
 
I luv ya
.

Love
you too
, Raven
texted.
 
She was smiling now, through
her own tears.

Just as she was finally starting to feel
a little better, there was a knock on her door.

Startled, Raven got up and went to the
door, checking herself quickly in the mirror first just to make sure she didn’t
look too much a mess first.

“Who is it?” she called.

“Jake and Kurt,” Jake called back, his
voice muffled through the door.

Raven took a deep breath, reminding
herself that Jake had no idea what Kurt had said to her on the phone, no idea
that his manager had threatened her and tried to bribe her, so she needed to
act friendly.

Don’t
be weird, Raven.
 
You know Kurt will
probably try to rub you the wrong way just to get you to act like a jerk and
make Jake hate you.
 
Don’t fall for
his plan.
 
Act like everything’s
just fine
.

This was even more important now that
she’d been so testy with Jake at the pizza shop.

She opened the door and affixed a warm
and friendly smile to her face.

The two men entered, Jake looking
distracted and maybe even annoyed, Kurt seemingly chipper.
 
“Hey Raven, how are you?” Kurt asked
her.

As he walked by, she caught a whiff of
aftershave and cigarette smoke, and her nose wrinkled.
 
Something about Kurt just made her want
to screw up her face, but she had to try to play the game.
 
Smiling, she shrugged.
 
“Oh, you know, I’m doing as well as can
be expected.”

“Yeah, it’s a big circus out there,” Kurt
said, nodding, surveying her hotel room as if expecting it to be infested with
rats and roaches.

“Can I get either of you a drink or
something?” she offered.

“I’m fine,” Jake said, not looking at
her.

She hated that he seemed so distant.
 
She tried to catch his eye and smile at
him, but he wouldn’t look at her.

“I could go for a beer,” Kurt said.

Raven’s fake smile grew wider.
 
“Let me check with the mini bar,” she
told him.
 
She went and grabbed an
imported beer and handed it to Kurt, who thanked her and then popped the top,
immediately swigging from it.

Jake sat on the edge of a chair and
fiddled with the remote control.
 
“So, we need to figure out the next step,” he said.

Kurt agreed.
 
“I’ve been thinking a lot about this
myself.
 
With the Boston shows
officially cancelled and gossip swirling about your mental state, we need to
come out with a decisive win in the next few days.”

“My mental state?” Jake said, his eyes
getting that same confused and put off crinkle that he’d had in the pizza shop
earlier.

“Yeah,” Kurt said, pacing as he drank
from the imported beer Raven had given him.
 
“People are saying that you’ve cracked
up.
 
They think the pressure’s
gotten to you.”

Jake just shook his head.
 
“People say a lot of things.
 
Why should I care?”

“Because,” Kurt told him, “you’ve
suddenly acquired an image problem.”
 
He shot
Raven
a knowing glance as if to say,
we both know
this is all your fault
.
 

Jake wasn’t paying attention, so Kurt
obviously knew he could get away with his little mind games.

Raven rolled her eyes at Kurt before
speaking.
 
“The biggest problem
right now is that video of you insulting depressed and suicidal people.
 
We need to find a way to show everyone
that you’ve changed.”

“Right, that’s where you come in,” Jake
said, finally looking at her.
 
“We
need to get your story out there.
 
But it can’t look planned, it can’t look phony and staged.”

Even
though it is
.

Even
though I wish it wasn’t, and maybe part of me actually believes that you really
have changed and you do care about me, instead of only thinking about what I
can do for you.

Suddenly, Raven’s phone cell phone was
buzzing, and she looked at the caller ID.

The number, at first, was vaguely
familiar but for a moment she couldn’t for the life of her remember
why—but just for a moment.
 
It
was only unfamiliar because she hadn’t seen it in years…even though it should
have been as familiar as her own number.

Because it was
her
own number.

It was her old home phone number, the
landline from her parents’ house in Southbridge Massachusetts.
 
She stared at it like she’d seen a ghost.
 

“What’s wrong?” Jake asked, suddenly
taking an interest in her again.
 
“Is it something with Skylar?”

“No,” Raven said, her stomach feeling
like someone had dropped it down an elevator shaft.
 
“It’s my parents.
 
Someone’s calling me.”

“Is that bad?” Kurt asked, his tone
condescending.

“It’s not
bad
…”
she said, not knowing if that was true or not.
 
“I just haven’t kept in close contact
with my family since I moved away when I was seventeen.”

Kurt’s eyes widened and a strange grin
crept across his face.
 
“That’s it,”
he whispered.

The cell phone stopped ringing and now it
just said missed call.
 
She put it
away in her purse and tried not to think about it.

 
“I’ll call them back,” she said, not
knowing if she would.

Kurt laughed wildly.
 
He took a long swig from his beer.
 
“This is why I’m a genius,” he said,
tapping his head with a finger.
 
“Because I think outside the frigging box.”

“Come on, spit it out already,” Jake
said, an edge seeping into his voice.
 
 

“The two of you need to go home,” Kurt
said, pointing his finger first at
Raven
and then
Jake.

“I don’t get it,” Jake said.
 
“Why should I go home?”

“No,” Kurt corrected him.
 
“You’re going to
her
hometown—together.
 
Back to where she grew up, to meet her family.”

Raven felt the hair stand up on the back
of her neck.
 
“I don’t think that’s
a good idea,” she said flatly.

“It’s not a good idea,” Jake said.

She breathed a sigh of relief.
 
Thank goodness Jake didn’t agree with
Kurt’s horrible plan.

“It’s not?” Kurt said, his smile turning
to a frown.

“It’s a fucking
great
idea,” Jake smiled, hopping off the edge of the chair and
holding out his fist for a reply fist bump from his old buddy Kurt.

They laughed and Kurt took another swig
of beer and belched.

Raven thought how much she hated Jake’s
manager.
 
But she didn’t say
anything right away because this wasn’t something she could just flat out
refuse to do.
 
If Jake liked the
idea, she needed to help him see why it was bad, without telling him the total
truth.
 
Especially not with Kurt
listening to every word she said, waiting to smell any weakness before he
attacked.

“Don’t you think people will view it as
Jake running away from everything if he leaves New York, the tour,
everything—and escapes to some small town in Massachusetts?” she said.

“Are you kidding me?” Kurt cackled.
 
“The media loves this shit.
 
Big star takes his everyday normal
average
girlfriend back
to her teeny tiny hometown and
graces them with his magnificent presence.
 
The press will eat it up.
 
We’ll make sure to get beautiful pics of you guys taking long romantic
strolls down the quaint little streets.
 
Jake will come out smelling like a rose.”

Jake nodded.
 
“He’s right.
 
It’s good.
 
This is the way to go.”