The Decadent Duke (49 page)

Georgina sighed heavily and lowered her lashes to her cheeks.

“I think she needs to rest quietly, Johnny. Why don't you go down and let everyone know Georgy is awake and that she's going to be just fine?”

When they were alone, John sat down and took her hand.
I won't press her about Francis. She'll tell me when she's good and ready.
“Georgy, the night before you fell from the tree, do you remember that we had a terrible row?”

“Yes, I remember. I was absolutely furious with you for being dominant and controlling.” She veiled her eyes. “And for other things.”

“You accused me of being a brute and wanting to beat you. I want you to know I would never hurt you, Georgina.”

“I defied you deliberately, wanting to goad you into unleashing the dark fury that sometimes lurks beneath the surface.”

“You managed to come pretty damn close. Not when you flung your diamonds at me or slapped my face. It was when you locked the door on me and rejected me that my demons took over.”

“When you smashed the door down, I knew I had pushed you too far,” she confessed. “I'm sorry, John.”

“No, I am the one who must apologize. When you lay unconscious and I feared losing you, I realized how petty my jealousy was. You are the center of my life, Georgy. If freedom makes you happy, I will never deny you again. Can you forgive me?”

“Of course I forgive you. I deliberately provoked you.”

In a little while, Mr. Burke brought up some broth. “I took the liberty of lacing it with wine to give her nourishment.”

“Thank you, Mr. Burke, and thank Cook for me.” John took the bowl and lifted the spoon to her lips.

Georgina looked amused. “I can do it myself.”

“Let me feed you, little girl,” he said tenderly.

Each time John looked into her eyes, Georgina looked away. She knew she was going to have to explain herself about Francis, and she was trying to muster the courage.

John put the empty bowl down, and then he bathed and shaved and changed his clothes.

“I don't want to stay in bed,” Georgina declared.

“You have to stay quiet,” John explained.

“I can stay quiet sitting on the window seat.” She pushed the covers aside, walked across the chamber, and sat down so that she could see outside. She gazed out at the garden for a long time, and then her eyes sought John's. “Come and sit down.”

He took a chair facing her and waited.

“I've been living a lie. You thought I loved your brother, Francis, and I let you believe it. It isn't true—I hated him.”

John's dark brows drew together. “Hated?”

“Oh, not at first. After my coming-out ball, when he began to pay attention to me, I was completely indifferent to him. When you and I met, sparks flew between us, and against my will I found myself irresistibly attracted to you. But you were married, and I knew it was wrong. When your wife died, I hoped there might be a chance that you would return my feelings. Then you rebuffed me, and I wanted to make you jealous. I deliberately set out to become engaged to your brother. It was wicked of me, because I had no intention of marrying Francis.V

“I know he proposed to you,” John said quietly.

“Many times, and though it would have pleased Mother above all things, I always said no and made it plain I didn't love him. I wanted to get away from him and from London, and went to Kimbolton for my sister Susan's birthday. Unbeknownst to me, my family had arranged a rendezvous for Francis and me.”

Georgina hesitated, and John kept a wise silence, hoping she would continue.

“I tried to be civil because I didn't want to spoil Susan's birthday. I was relieved when midnight arrived, and I knew I could retire. The next thing I knew, Francis came into my bedchamber. He said Manchester had given him the key.VShe paused and took a deep, steadying breath. “Francis tried to ravish me. I kneed him in the groin and kicked him in the belly. He rolled to the carpet in pain. It made him furious. When he got up and came after me, I hit him with a bottle and fled naked from Kimbolton.”

“The degenerate swine!” John, appalled at Francis, sat down beside her on the window seat and slipped his arm about her.

“My coachman took me to my sister Louisa, in Suffolk. A short time later, Mother arrived with the dreadful news that Francis was dead. I was covered with guilt because the injury I inflicted on him led to his death.”

“The injury that led to his death happened in the bed of his whore Molly Hill,VJohn said between clenched teeth.

“I hated him because Louisa told me Francis did the same thing to her. But I never wished him dead, John.V

“When Mother insisted that I go into mourning for Francis, I kept my mouth shut and donned weeds, knowing it would keep me off the marriage market.”

Georgina began to cry softly, and John enfolded her in his arms and rocked her. “Hush, darling, hush. He isn't worth your tears.V

“But when we married, I knew you loved and mourned your brother, and I pretended to do the same. It was very wrong of me to deceive you like that.V

John laughed softly. “I was madly jealous of your love for Francis. Though I tried to control it, I found it impossible.”

“The only one I loved . . .
ever
loved . . . was you.”

John's heart soared, hoping against hope that what she said was true.

“When you came to Paris and asked me to marry you, I was overjoyed. I had made a pledge to myself that I would never marry a man who didn't love me. Even when we stood before the minister and exchanged our wedding vows, I was convinced that you loved me. Then Susan dropped her bombshell, and told me you were marrying me out of duty to restore my reputation and honor me with the title I'd been promised. It shattered my dreams and crushed my happiness.”

John knelt before her and took her hands. “I knew Susan had said something to you that was devastating . . . something that drained away your happiness. But, Georgy, I swear to you that was a lie. I did not ask you to marry me out of a sense of duty. I asked you to be my wife because I loved you. I was in love with you long before I had the right.”

Inside her, joy began to blossom. “Truly, John?”

“I swear it on my life. My friend Holland read me a letter he got from his wife in Paris. She said that Eugene Beauharnais was lovesick over you, and your mother was eager to make a match for you with Napoleon's stepson. It threw me into a panic. I knew I had to go to Paris and snatch the prize away from him.V

Georgina's eyes flooded, and a tear ran down her cheek.

“Darling, don't cry. You've shed enough tears.V

“These are tears of pure happiness, John.VShe slipped her arms about his neck and lifted her lips for his kiss.

He searched her eyes. “Do you feel well? Does your head hurt?”

“Not at the back, where I have the lump.” She brushed her fingers across her forehead. “I have a slight headache.”

“That's concussion. You must rest, but not actually sleep for a while, or you risk slipping back into a coma.”

They sat together on the window seat, reveling quietly in their newfound intimacy.

 
In the evening, Mr. Burke brought them supper trays, and as they ate, they watched the sun set. When the orange, harvest moon rose in the dark sky, John carried his wife to bed and propped her against the pillows.

Georgina removed her petticoat and tossed it away. “I don't want anything between us tonight, or ever again.”

John undressed, slid into bed, and gathered her in his arms. “Sweetheart, I've never spoken to you about my first wife because my marriage was unhappy. Elizabeth suffered from melancholia, but after Johnny was born, it became so pronounced, it affected all our lives. All she wanted to do was lie on a couch in a darkened room, and her mind was filled with such dark portents that I thought she had been touched by madness.V

“When I became member of parliament for Tavistock, she refused to come to London with me. I put my two older sons in Westminster school and left her in Devon. A nursemaid brought up Johnny until he was old enough for Westminster. I should never have left him at home with her—she blamed him for her melancholy condition. When he started at Westminster, I knew he was lonely, but it was preferable to leaving him with Elizabeth and her vindictive ways.”

Georgina touched John's cheek. “I had no idea. I thought you had a loving marriage and were heartbroken when she died.”

“A couple of years ago, I discovered she was addicted to laudanum, which of course made her condition far worse. I forbade her the stuff, warned her maid against indulging her, but she became a secret addict. Last year, I took her to her sister Isabelle at Longleat. Elizabeth took an overdose, and when I got there she was in a coma. I revived her, but in the night she took more and killed herself.”

Georgina's arms tightened about her husband. “John, I had no idea. No wonder you always looked like you were trying to control a dark, inner fury.”

“I often wished she were dead, and so when it happened, I was covered with guilt and remorse.”

“Guilt is a dreadful thing to live with. I felt terrible guilt over Francis.”

“I think it's time we stopped feeling guilty and started to enjoy our happiness.” He feathered kisses across her temple. “For years I've longed for a woman who is vivacious, who would fill my life and my sons' lives with fun and laughter and joy. When at last I found you, and was lucky enough to make you my wife, I couldn't believe my good fortune.”

Georgina's heart began to sing.

“Then you fell into a coma, and I was racked with fear that I might lose you. I didn't want to contemplate life without you. Johnny was even worse than me. You are the mother he'd always longed for. You love him unconditionally, and the thought of having you snatched away was more than either of us could bear.”

“It feels glorious to be loved so completely,” she whispered. “Did you know that I lost my heart to you the very first time I saw you?”

“Georgy, you're fibbing. You were furious with me for ordering you to go home.” He nuzzled her ear. “I remember your exact words:
Go to the devil, old man!
>

“I dreamed about you that night. I was fishing in the River Spey and almost drowned. You rushed in and saved me. When you held me safe in your arms, I had never felt that secure before in my life.”She kissed the corners of his mouth. “You called me
little girl
, but it was a term of endearment. You knew very well I was a woman grown.”

“Yes, I found that out when Charlotte invited me to lunch at Marylebone Manor. You were so audacious, I wanted to take you across my knee and tan your arse.” He kissed her eyelids, and his hand caressed her bottom. “I couldn't stop thinking about you.”

“I'm glad. Did you ever dream about me?”

“My dreams about you were so sensual and decadent, they would shame the devil.”

“Tell me!” She clung to him seductively. “No, better yet, show me.”

“You little wanton, you'll have to settle for cuddling tonight. You are to remain quiet. Tomorrow night is another story. The passion I will arouse in you will make you wild and wicked.”

She smiled her secret smile. “I love you so much, John.”

“And I love you more than life, little girl.”

During the next months, the Duke and Duchess of Bedford entertained the members of the houses of parliament at Woburn on a weekly basis. With Lady Georgina as their hostess, her guests knew they could count on politics and pleasure, the two things they enjoyed most.

John allowed Georgina to wear whatever she wished, and promised her that he would make an effort to curb his need to control her.

In the House of Commons, Addington, unable to overcome the combined opposition of William Pitt and Charles James Fox, saw his majority evaporate. His previous allies joined the opposition, and when he lost his parliamentary support, Addington was forced to resign. In the spring, William Pitt was returned to power as prime minister of England, and everyone rejoiced.

Lord and Lady Holland were frequent guests at Woburn. Henry took John aside. “Prime Minister Pitt wants to see you, John, when you are next in London.”

“Ah, he wants to tell me he has achieved Irish Catholic emancipation,” John jested.

“That will never happen so long as King George is on the throne. I imagine he wants to thank you. It was due to your powerful influence that he is once again prime minister.”

“I don't need thanks, Henry. It's sufficient to know that Georgina and I helped. Still, a request from the PM can't be ignored. I suppose I should attend a session of the Lords while I'm in London, though I will likely be bored out of my mind.”

That night in bed, John and Georgina discussed all that had happened during the day, as they did every single night. It was the lovers' private, special time together, when they lay in each other's arms and whispered for hours.

“Henry said Pitt wants to see me. Will you and Johnny come with me to London?”

“The Abbess is about to have her kittens. Neither Johnny nor I want to leave Woburn at the moment.
I mustn't tell John I threw up my breakfast this morning, or he won't go to London
. “You go, darling, if you can bear to drag yourself away from me.”

“Vain little minx.”

She bit his shoulder. “You wouldn't have me any other way.”

 
“Bedford, thank you for coming. There's something important I'd like to discuss in private.”