The Decision (37 page)

“It concerns me,” Elaine said slowly, “that at the rate Grandma’s memory is failing, any day now she could completely forget me, her sister, or her two brothers and never remember any of us again.”

“Say, here’s a thought,” Leah spoke up. “Why don’t you invite your Grandma’s relatives here for a get-together? It will give them all the chance to spend time with her now, before her memory is completely gone.”

“That’s a good idea.” Elaine nodded. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of that myself. Grandma’s birthday is in three weeks, so maybe I could plan a party in her honor and invite her sister and brothers, as well as any of their families who might be able to come. Hopefully it will be a good day for everyone—especially Grandma.”

O
blivious to the scenery as they went down the road, Sara stared blindly out the window of her driver’s van, struggling not to cry. She’d just come from seeing the doctor, and the news wasn’t good. It was so dreadful she could hardly believe it. After a series of tests she’d been given the week before and based on her symptoms, the doctor had determined that Sara had multiple sclerosis. She should have gone to see the doctor much sooner. No wonder she’d been having such unusual symptoms.

The doctor had explained that Sara’s blurred vision, extreme fatigue, loss of balance, numbness, tingling, and weakness in her arms and legs were all symptoms of the disease. He’d also told Sara that MS was a complex illness, and it could affect people differently. A person with MS might have a single symptom and then go for months, or even years, without any other indications of the disease. For some people, however, their symptoms could be varied and become worse within months or even weeks.

For Sara, the worst part of learning all of this was in knowing that there was no cure for MS. Some medications had been developed that helped control symptoms, but all of them had side effects. Sara didn’t want that. The disease alone was enough to cope with. She thought she might be better off trying a more natural approach, which would include getting plenty of rest, exercising regularly, eating a healthy, well-balanced diet, finding ways to relax, and keeping herself as cool as possible, since the symptoms of MS often worsened when a person’s body temperature increased.

The worst thing Sara’s doctor had told her was that some MS patients’ symptoms got so bad they eventually ended up in a wheelchair. Of course, some people with the disease never reached that point, but Sara couldn’t help worrying that she would be severely disabled. If she decided to stay in Arthur, her barn could be rebuilt. While the fire was an unfortunate event, her MS diagnosis was far worse. Unlike a barn that could be built again, there was nothing that would cure her body. It seemed like any chance of hope and happiness was out of Sara’s reach.

As the scenery rolled by, Sara thought of the night Jonah had taken her and Mark out for pizza. It had turned out to be a wonderful, relaxing evening. She’d felt pretty good that entire day, almost normal, and for that she’d been thankful. It was one of those rare times lately when she hardly knew she had any health issues at all. Mark had enjoyed himself, too, especially when Jonah surprised him with a wooden horse he had carved. Ever since then, Mark wouldn’t let that toy out of his sight.

After their meal, Jonah had brought them home, and he and Sara had visited awhile. When it was time for Mark to go to bed, he wanted Jonah to tuck him in. Smiling, Sara remembered how she’d stood in the doorway watching and how the scene had tugged at her heart. Harley would never be able to do these simple little acts of love for their son. But Sara was glad Jonah was there and had taken such a liking to Mark. Watching the two of them together, she’d felt something that, until that moment, had been buried for too long. She felt hope.

Dared she even dream of living a normal life now that she’d been diagnosed with MS? There were so many things Sara wanted to do. She had yet to go through the barn to see what items could be salvaged, and several projects around the house needed work, too.

Her eyes brimmed with tears, and Sara tried to hold them back.
What if I’m one of those people who will become hampered by my symptoms? I won’t be able to take care of Mark if I end up in a wheelchair. Should I move back home with my folks, so they can help me raise my boy? That would be the sensible thing to do, but I need to pray about this before I make a decision
.

“Have you seen my
aageglesser
?” Grandma asked, shuffling into the living room where Elaine was dusting.

“No, I haven’t, Grandma. You usually put your glasses on top of your dresser when you’re not wearing them. Have you looked there?”

Grandma gritted her teeth while twisting the end of her apron. “Of course I looked there. Do I look dumm?”

“Of course you’re not dumb. I just thought—”

“Never mind. I’ll just have to keep looking.” Grandma turned and plodded out of the room, but not before Elaine heard her mumble, “She’s always hiding my things.”

It was then that Elaine noticed Grandma was wearing two different shoes. On her left foot, she wore one of her black dress shoes. On Grandma’s right foot was a navy blue clog that she wore when she worked in the garden. Elaine debated about whether to say anything or just let it go. She decided on the latter for now but would make sure Grandma wore her dress shoes for her birthday party tonight.

It would be good to see Grandma’s older sister, Margaret, and her two brothers, Irvin and Caleb, who all lived in Iowa, where Grandma had been born. Grandma would probably be living there still if she hadn’t met Grandpa at a friend’s wedding when they were teenagers. In addition to Elaine’s great-aunt and great-uncles, some of their children and grandchildren would also be visiting to celebrate Grandma’s birthday. Elaine hoped the festivities not only would be a fun time for all, but also would give Grandma a chance to reconnect with her family before she lost her memory of them forever.

Elaine had the house almost cleaned, and she’d made plans to cook Grandma’s favorite meal—baked chicken, mashed potatoes, coleslaw, and creamed corn. For dessert she’d baked a chocolate cake for everyone else, and a sugar-free apple pie for Grandma; although she would make sure that Grandma didn’t eat too big of a piece, since the pie did have some natural sugar in the apples, as well as in the apple juice concentrate that was added for flavor and sweetening.

Elaine went to the sink to get a glass of water and glanced out the window as she raised the cup to her lips. She stopped abruptly, her hand in midair. “Now when did she go outside?” Elaine watched as Grandma walked through the backyard and over toward the swing, hanging from the big maple tree in their yard. Her first thought was to go out there and bring Grandma back inside, but something compelled her to remain where she was and watch.

Grandma sat down on the swing and started moving it slowly back and forth, then a few minutes later, she got it going a little bit higher.

Seeing the contented look on Grandma’s face took Elaine back in time. Grandma appeared to be so happy, and it made Elaine want to cry. How long had it been since she’d seen that peaceful expression on her beloved grandma’s face? Oh, how Elaine could relate to that carefree feeling of swooping down, then up again, over and over. She could almost feel the butterflies and the tickly feeling that being on a swing could bring.

Grandma’s face turned almost childlike as she continued swinging back and forth. Elaine had to restrain herself from joining her. Grandma wasn’t going too high and wasn’t likely to fall off, so Elaine just kept on watching.

Before Grandpa died, Elaine had gone out to that old swing many times. Sometimes, just to be outside, especially after the days they’d hosted dinners. Other times, swinging helped her think more clearly about life or make plans for her future. It didn’t happen often anymore, but a few times when Grandma was napping, Elaine had gone out to that old swing just for the pure joy of it and to reclaim how it felt during those untroubled years as a young child when she’d had no real worries to drag her down. Elaine longed for that feeling again.

Everything was happening too fast. With Grandma going downhill quickly, then hearing about Jonah courting again so soon, Elaine didn’t know how much more she could take. But she couldn’t run away from the problems or the fact that Jonah was moving on with his life. She was the one who had prompted their breakup, and if Jonah and Sara ended up getting married, she’d have to face it, no matter how difficult it might be.

One thing at a time
, Elaine told herself, upending her thoughts and hoping once more that tonight would be special for Grandma.

She closed her eyes and whispered a prayer. “Dear Lord, please help everything to go well this evening and make this one of Grandma’s best birthdays ever.”

“Look who’s here, Grandma!” Elaine gestured to her great-uncles, Irvin and Caleb, who’d just entered the house.

Grandma tipped her head and stared at the men a few seconds. Then she turned and shook her finger at Elaine. “Why didn’t you tell me the tourists were coming here tonight? We don’t even have our dinner started yet.”

“Oh no, Grandma. We’re not hosting a dinner for tourists. Some of our family has come to celebrate your birthday.”

Grandma stared at her brothers a bit longer, looking as though she was seeing them for the very first time. She looked over at Elaine and said, “Is today really my birthday?”

Elaine nodded. “Yes, it is, and your brothers, Irvin and Caleb, have come to help you celebrate it.”

“How old am I?”

“You’re seventy-six,” Irvin answered, pulling his fingers through the ends of his mostly gray beard.

Grandma moved a little closer to the men, squinting as she looked first at Irvin, then at Caleb. “You sure don’t look like my
brieder
.”

“We are your brothers,” Uncle Caleb said with a decisive nod. The poor man looked quite flustered. “It’s been a few years since we’ve seen you, Edna, and we’re all getting older, so maybe that’s why you don’t recognize us.”

Grandma bobbed her head, but Elaine wasn’t sure she ‘d identified the men even yet.

“
Ich ab mic him busch verlore
,” Grandma said, moving closer to Irvin.

His bushy gray eyebrows lifted. “You got lost in the woods? When did that happen?”

Grandma shrugged in response.

“I think she may be referring to a time when she wandered off our property and couldn’t find her way home,” Elaine quietly explained. She didn’t bother to go into all the details, figuring it was best not to discuss this right now. Maybe later, after Grandma went to bed, she would talk about the situation with Grandma’s brothers and the rest of the family. For now, Elaine just wanted to try to make this day as pleasant as she could.

A short time later, Great-Aunt Margaret showed up with her daughter and son-in-law. Margaret was in her eighties and used a cane to walk, but after talking to her just a few minutes, Elaine knew her aunt was sharp as a tack.

“How are things going?” Aunt Margaret whispered, giving Elaine a hug after she’d first greeted her sister, Edna. “Are you getting by all right?”

“Some days are more difficult than others,” Elaine admitted, “but Grandma and I are getting by the best we can.”

Aunt Margaret clasped Elaine’s hands and gave them a little squeeze. “What about that young man you’ve been seeing? I’ll bet he’s a big help to you right now.”

Elaine grimaced. She disliked having to tell her aunt that she and Jonah had broken up but figured it was best just to get it said. “Jonah and I aren’t seeing each other anymore. We broke up some time ago.”

“Oh dear, I’m sorry to hear that. I never got the chance to meet him, but from the things Edna said in her letters, he seemed like a nice man.”

“He is, but with the way things are with Grandma right now, I thought it best if Jonah and I went our separate ways.” Elaine lifted her hands and let them fall to her sides. “Anyhow, I’m not sure what we felt for each other was strong enough to continue with our relationship.”

“That’s a shame, but I’m sure you’ll find someone else when the time is right.”