The Deepest Cut (3 page)

His gaze lingered on my face, making me uncomfortable. I hadn’t even bothered with makeup. “When exactly did you die?”

“Seventeen hundred and eighty-six.”

Well, that would explain the clothes.

“Wow, you’re really old…although I think my house might just be older than you.”

His top teeth dragged along his bottom lip, and my stomach did a little flip. Even his teeth were perfect; white and straight, which was surprising given he came from a time before braces and white strips. “When we had hunting parties, many of our guests would stay at the inn if there was not room for them at the castle.”

“The castle?” My heart missed a beat.

“
You
lived in the castle?”

He nodded, pride shining in his eyes.

“Yes, I did with my father, my mum, my brother, and two sisters.”

“Are they cursed as well?”

“No, I am alone.”

How depressing. I couldn’t imagine being alone for so many years, wandering day after

day with no one to talk to. “And no one could see you?”

“There have been times when the living could see me, but they usually are so scared, they scream or yell. You are the first person who has actually acknowledged me.”

He was becoming more translucent, something I had noticed with the old lady ghost when she came around. At first she would look as human as me, but the longer she stayed, the more her energy began to fade, and so did her form, until she disappeared altogether. Strangely enough, I didn’t want him to go. It was nice to have someone my age to talk to.

His gaze shifted down to my ankle. “You do not have to answer me if you don’t wish to, but I am curious…why did you hurt yourself?”

The question surprised me, and as uncomfortable as it made me feel, I answered

him. “I was in the car with my mom when she died.”

He sat up and rested his forearms on his knees.

“My life hasn’t been the same since, and to deal with the pain, I cut myself.”

He frowned, and I could tell he had questions, but he remained quiet…for all of two seconds. “Explain what you mean?”

I didn’t see condemnation in his eyes––just a need to understand.

“When I cut it’s like a release, a way to get my frustration out.”

“Why would hurting yourself help ease the pain you feel inside?”

For some reason his desire to understand made me like him even more, but giving an explanation of why I cut was tough. I didn’t even really understand why I did it. I took a deep breath. “Well… when I cut the skin, and feel the pain…and see the blood—it’s like I’m letting out this loud scream.”

I felt Ian’s cool fingertips on my hand, the slightest touch, but oddly, it felt wonderful and comforting in a way that surprised me. It had been a long time since I’d had a friend to talk to. Our gazes caught and held, and I saw no judgment in those blue eyes, or even sympathy…but understanding. Honestly, I never thought I’d find solace in a ghost’s touch, and my throat grew tight as he continued to watch me.

“Have you always been able to see spirits?”

I shook my head. “No. A year ago—when I woke from the wreck, that’s when I saw my first ghost. Oh, and by the way, I saw you earlier at the inn,” I admitted, wanting to return to a less depressing topic.

He grinned, exposing deep dimples I hadn’t noticed before. How sad he had died so young. What a waste. “You did not let on that you could see me.”

I wiggled my brows. “That was my intention. Then again, I didn’t expect you to follow me to the castle either.”

His lips quirked slightly. “I was curious about you and your family. The inn has been empty for years now.”

“I can see why,” I said before I could stop myself.

He laughed—a deep, rumbling sound that sent a spike of pleasure through me. “Despite your lack of enthusiasm, I am glad you are here, Riley.”

And oddly, in that moment, I was glad I had come to Braemar too.

“Riley!”

I looked over my shoulder and saw my brother standing nearby, watching me like I’d grown another head. I knew he had heard me talking to Ian, or rather, to myself. Knowing how bad it looked, I felt my face turn hot, and I came slowly to my feet, brushing at my

butt, trying to think of what to say to explain myself.

“I shall see you soon, Riley,” Ian said, fading faster by the second.

Shane’s gaze scanned the vicinity. “Miss Akin sent me to find you. She has dinner ready.”

“Dinner?” I said absently.

“You’ve been gone for almost two hours.”

Two hours?
It hadn’t felt like two hours.

The time had flown by.

All right, I’m coming.” I refrained from looking over my shoulder one more time to see if Ian was still there.

I awoke at eight-thirty to the sound of Miss Akin humming.

“It’s about time you are up, love. You need to get ready to register for school.”

I sat up in bed. School? “But school doesn’t start for weeks.” The very thought of starting a new school made me sick to my stomach, especially since my grades had taken a serious dive in the past year.

“Yes, but you register for your classes today.”

Could my life suck more? I wasn’t ready to face my peers, who undoubtedly would completely pick me apart.

“Is my dad here?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer. Work was his life.

Always had been, always would be. Moving to Scotland wouldn’t change that.

“No, he left about seven. Said he’d see you tonight.” She set a pile of folded laundry

on my dresser and clapped her hands together. “You had best get moving. I know how young women are when it comes to primping.”

She so didn’t know me. I wasn’t a primper. I needed thirty minutes to get ready, from the time I entered the shower, to the time I walked out the door. I was hungry though, and my stomach chose that moment to growl.

Miss Akin smiled. “I tell you what—you get in the shower and I’ll set to work on making you breakfast. How does eggs and haggis sound?”

“Haggis?” I’d heard horror stories about the Scottish version of sausage, made of sheep heart and other parts. “No thanks, but I wouldn’t mind some eggs and toast.”

Miss Akin looked a little disappointed I wasn’t taking her up on the haggis, but I couldn’t eat anything that got my sensitive gag reflex going. “Is Shane up?”

“Yes, and already gone.”

Now that surprised me. Shane usually slept until noon.

“He said something about seeing you over at the school.” She picked up my dirty socks and frowned. “Did you cut yourself, love?”

My stomach clenched. Normally when cutting I was careful, hiding the blood by either tossing out or washing the soiled clothes myself, but in my excitement after meeting Ian, it had completely slipped my mind. “No. Why?”

“There’s dried blood on your sock.”

“I must have cut myself shaving.”

“My goodness, it must have been quite a gouge to leave such a stain. Be careful next time, my dear.”

“I will,” I said, scrambling off the bed. I pulled on some sweatpants and opened up the curtains, looking out at the castle. I was even more curious about the castle now that

I knew Ian had lived there. I admit I wanted to know more about him, and already couldn’t wait to see him again. “Miss Akin, is the castle open to the public?”

“Usually sections of the castle are open for visitors this time of year, but the family who owns it is on holiday, and while they’re away they’ve decided to tackle some much-needed renovations. Only the construction crew is allowed in for now.”

Disappointed, I asked, “When does the family return?”

“The end of the month, I believe. Just in time for school.”

I had no intention of waiting weeks to see the castle.

“You get in that shower and I’ll get to making your breakfast,” she said, nudging me toward the bathroom.

Within thirty minutes I had showered and dried my hair. I had no idea what was in fashion in Braemar, Scotland, so I thought

I’d play it safe with name-brand jeans, a baby-blue T-shirt, and tennis shoes. My hair wouldn’t cooperate, so I pulled it up into a high ponytail, and grabbed a lightweight jacket out of my closet.

I found Miss Akin in the kitchen, humming to herself. I wolfed down a piece of toast, wanting to get to the school early, and hopefully, find Shane.

I left the house and crossed the road, passing by a restaurant that was packed and a store where a few old men sat out on a bench; talking and smoking. On every street corner flower baskets full of colorful blooms hung from old-fashioned lampposts. I hated to admit it, but the little town had a charm most cities lacked. I was used to strip malls and subdivisions, not quaint houses on huge lots, and miles upon miles of open green space.

I walked over the ancient stone bridge, my fingers brushing the polished iron railing

as I looked down at the river, remembering the expression on Ian’s face yesterday when I’d turned to him and told him I could see him. There was a part of me that questioned befriending a ghost. Let’s face it, the possibil-ities of someone aside from my brother, Dad and Miss Akin seeing me talking to myself were pretty high. If I wasn’t careful, I could end up in a mental hospital, or at the very least, forced to take those horrible meds again.

I heard a familiar voice and saw Shane step out of a store, followed by two other boys, both of whom carried skateboards.

When Shane looked my way, he actually waved and walked toward me. “Riley, this is Richie and Milo. Guys, this is my sister Riley.”

“Hey Riley,” the boys said in unison, checking me out hard, especially Milo whose eyes were practically glued to my boobs.

“Hey,” I said with a smile.

Richie had stick-straight red hair he wore back in a low ponytail, a navy and gray v-neck sweater, and jeans that had seen better days. Milo had a lip ring, and what I assumed to be dyed black spiky hair, since his eyes were hazel and his skin really pale. He was tall and rail thin, and wore tight-ass, skinny jeans and a black holey concert Tshirt of a band I’d never heard of.

“Come on, I’ll show you where the school is,” Shane said, motioning for me to follow.

Milo and Richie dropped their boards and started down the street.

Shane and I walked in silence, and I hated that we felt awkward with each other.

There was so much unspoken tension that I wondered if our relationship would ever recover. “Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to check out the castle after registration.”

He didn’t look in the least bit interested.

“The family who owns it is away for the summer,” I added. “It’s closed to the public,

so we’d have to break in. I totally understand if you don’t want to.”

His eyes instantly lit up. “Count me in.”

· · · · ·

Braemar High was an old brick building that smelled oddly similar to my school back home in Portland. It had three levels, and given my schedule, I knew I’d be getting a lot of exercise running up and down the stairs since my classes were scattered throughout each floor.

Shane had bailed on me shortly after arriving at the school, telling me we’d meet up later at the castle. I wasn’t holding my breath, especially now that he’d found buddies, but at least we were talking. That was a good start.

Only one girl had approached me in the two hours I was at registration, and as sweet as she’d been, I knew we would never be

close friends. We were just too different, and honestly, I didn’t know if I could let anyone in after losing all my buddies back home. I realized I hadn’t helped matters by pulling away after my mom’s death, but still, it hurt that everyone had let go so easily.

And what about Ian? Did I feel it was okay to befriend him because he was a ghost? I’d never had a guy friend, well—aside from Kerry Johnston in the first grade, but that hardly counted. Playing hide-and-seek on the school playground was a lot different than a sixteen-year-old girl hanging out with a nineteen-year-old guy.

I rushed over the bridge and past the inn.

I didn’t spare the cemetery a glance, and even stayed on the opposite side of the road.

Before I knew it, I was at the castle’s driveway, sliding under the chain.

I avoided looking over at the trees, not wanting or needing a reminder that I had cut yesterday.

“It’s sort of creepy.”

I jumped at the sound of Shane’s voice.

His hands were shoved into his jean pockets, and his eyes were seriously bloodshot. No wonder I hadn’t been able to find him after registration. He’d been getting blazed with his new friends.

“Yeah, it is,” I said, not blaming him for getting high. I’d smoked pot a few times with my friend Ashley. I never did understand the appeal. I felt paranoid and awkward, and I ate anything in sight. Not pretty.

“So are you sure about this?” he asked, sounding hesitant.

Nothing short of cops showing up was going to stop me from getting inside that castle.

“Yep. Are you?”

His eyes were mere slits, and the sides of his mouth curved the slightest bit. I had a feeling he wouldn’t be a huge help if we ran into trouble, but at least I wouldn’t be alone.

“Let’s do it.” He motioned for me to go ahead of him, and he followed behind as we walked into the castle’s courtyard that was hidden behind a tall, stone wall. As expected, the front entry door was locked, and as we rounded the back I saw painting supplies beside a partially opened window.

I glanced at Shane. “You want to try it?”

His eyes widened. “I don’t know. It looks kind of small. I don’t think I could squeeze through.”

He could fit, but I was the one who wanted to see the castle. He was here at my invitation, and if he wanted to stay outside and play look-out, then that was fine with me.

“Whistle if anyone comes, okay?”

He nodded, looking relieved. “Okay. Be careful.”

I pushed the window down, remembering when Ashley and I had sneaked out of my bedroom back home.

I dangled from the window frame for a second, and then dropped down onto the floor. The smell of paint was nearly overwhelming, and across the room there was a ladder, which would come in handy if I needed to leave in a hurry.