The Delicate Matter of Lady Blayne (24 page)

The past few years fell away, as though they had never existed. The scent of flowers and sun-soaked grass wafted in through the open window of the drawing room. The taste of sugary icing from the teacakes had made her lick her lips, which drew the attention of the handsomest man in the household. Though the sound of polite, feminine laughter had echoed in her ears, she hadn’t been able to look away.

“Mr. Chapman could be so amusing. He had been in the army—the Dragoons, to be precise. He had the most enthralling and, at times, hilarious stories to tell. He was entertaining me and Frances.”

“Aunt Frances allowed him to be so familiar with the family?”

An image of Aunt Frances, all smiles, her face flushed, her fan fluttering a little too quickly, entered Sunny’s mind. “Oh, Mr. Chapman was very charming. There was no’ a woman in the household who didn’t smile and simper when he flashed his bonny grin at them. Your Aunt Frances was no exception.” Coldness burrowed into her heart. She had to tell him. She had to admit how thoughtless she had been. How uncaring of Freddy and his feelings. “I laughed at Mr. Chapman’s stories. I laughed a little too loudly, I think. He was such a high, handsome man, so beautifully made, it gave me pleasure just to look at him, just to be near him. He smiled at me then. His eyes appeared to twinkle as he looked at me directly, deeply. It seemed like a look and a smile made special just for me, even though we were in the drawing room with Aunt Frances and Grandmother Blayne.

“I said something. I can no’ remember what now. He leaned down and asked me to repeat myself. I tried, but I was so overcome by my own attraction to him, I stammered, just like some silly schoolroom miss. He said something teasing in reply. I could feel the heat on my face. He was smiling at me so broadly, so brightly. I quite forgot everyone else. I giggled like a girl and I touched his arm. Freddy had apparently just returned. He saw the whole shameful byplay.”

With the whole tawdry tale out, she clamped her mouth shut. Her heart thundered in her ears. She was sure James must hear it this time!

But he just kept staring at her. She couldn’t discern his thoughts.

“Aunt Frances didn’t dismiss Mr. Chapman after this insufferable impudence on his part?” James said at last.

His tone was incredulous, not angry. She took a deep breath. “I suppose it should have fallen to me to have dismissed him.”

“Oh come now, we all know that Aunt Frances has always ruled that roost, no matter that Freddy had come into his inheritance.”

“I guess that’s my fault. I should have long before asserted my authority as baroness.”

“You were handpicked for your girlish lack of assertiveness. A clergyman’s daughter, a common-born bride uncertain of herself.”

“Freddy did say he adored my girlishness.”

“Freddy didn’t pick you as a bride. Aunt Frances did. Make no mistake.”

His voice rang with disgust.

That shocked her. “You make Freddy sound as though he had no mind of his own.”

He shrugged. “It’s merely the reality of the situation.”

She was still stunned by the intensity of James’ declaration. He was Freddy’s cousin. She had never guessed that he bore such negative feelings for her late husband.

They fell silent. He stroked her back in slow, rhythmic motions. Seductive motions, lulling her back into a relaxed state. It seemed suddenly so disloyal to Freddy to be lying here with a man who disapproved of him. She tried hard to hold onto her tension, to resist the warm pleasure that sparked through her with each stroke of his hand.

But it was impossible.

Again, she melted into his touch. He swept his hand down to caress her buttocks. She couldn’t help lifting her bottom, as though she were eager for his attention. Relaxation spread through her pelvis, a tugging-down sensation deep inside her belly.

“Sunny, what happened was unfortunate, and yes, you did quite forget yourself.” His tone was a firm yet gentle censure.

She caught her breath, accentuating the pounding of her heart. She kept her eyes squeezed tightly closed.

“You were Freddy’s baroness and you owed him respect if nothing else. You should always have behaved as a lady in public, especially before the servants and his mother. What you did was thoughtless, lacking in all respect, and that would be hurtful to any man.”

His words, so softly spoken, slashed into her. She bit her lip and nodded, taking the scolding with as much grace as she could muster. If James had been less than truthful with her, that would have hurt far more.

“Look at me, Sunny.”

She could never have resisted that softly commanding tone. She opened her eyes, expecting to meet his disdainful glare.

His eyes were full of compassion. Perhaps even more than earlier. She had a peculiar sense of the earth’s shifting beneath her feet, even though she was lying down not standing. Tears blurred his image.

He murmured. A sound of comfort, of sympathy. Then he swept his hand up her back, bringing it to rest at her nape. He pressed her head forward until her face came to rest against the crook of his shoulder. He smelled of male sweat, lust and spicy cologne, the scent of all things James.

“Sweeting.” he said, cradling her body.

Shame burned inside her, choking her and forcing its way up and pouring out in tears that seemed to blaze down her cheeks. “Shh, shh,” he said, still holding her and giving her a gentle sort of rocking motion.

“I am sorry, I am so very sorry,” she said between gulps of air. But his rocking motion lulled her and the feeling of awfulness was passing. She felt weak, drained in its wake.

“Of course you are.”

“I can never make things right again. Never.”

“Shh, shh,” he said. “You wed Freddy before you knew your own mind. He couldn’t be a true husband. It was an untenable situation for a young, healthy woman to find herself in. No person is perfect. You must forgive yourself.”

All she could see was Freddy’s ashen face. His huge eyes. “He was so hurt.”

“A true gentleman would forgive such a lapse.”

“What would you have done?”

“I would have thrashed Mr. Chapman.” Emotion vibrated in his voice. She could feel it in her bones. It was a shock, hearing James so affected. That made twice tonight that she’d been shocked by the intensity of his emotion.

She sniffed and swiped at a tear-streaked cheek. “A thrashing seems a bit extreme.”

“It’s not.” His voice was hard, cold. “If Chapman were a gentleman, I would still hunt him down and meet him at dawn and settle the matter over pistols.”

“Goodness, you say that with such conviction.”

“I am deadly serious. What he did to you, his ultimate seduction of you, was beyond the pale. If he were a gentleman, he would answer for it, and I would not delope, nor would I miss.”

“Freddy was so angry,” she repeated, feeling once more the savage pain in her heart. His eyes, oh God, Freddy’s eyes so full of hurt. Shame.

“Did he ever forgive you?”

“No.” Her voice echoed, small and girlish in her own ears.

“Freddy was always selfish,” James softly snarled.

“It was no’ his fault.”

“It’s time he let you go.”

His voice resounded with such determination, she gaped at him.

James took Sunny by the shoulders, exerting every ounce of self-discipline he possessed to keep from gripping her too hard. He rolled her onto her back.

Her mouth was slightly parted, her eyes lighting up with the emotion that lay behind what she was about to say.

He swept down and put his mouth over hers. Thrust his tongue between her parted lips.

He’d kissed her out of desire. Out of lust. Yes, that was true.

But he’d also done it to hush her.

He couldn’t bear to hear more of her confessions. Her latest one still rang in his ears. The incredible jealousy he had felt upon hearing her speak of Chapman and her attraction to him!

God, it burned through him.

Yet, how strong that attraction must have been to cause the gentle, considerate girl Sunny had been to act so brazenly, so thoughtlessly.

It enraged him that she could ever have wanted or longed for any man but him.

An irrational desire?

Certainly, for he had been but a fleeting presence in her life. They had shared a handful of kisses and forbidden caresses in the Blayne Garden. He couldn’t have expected her to even have remembered him that well or fondly.

But he had remembered her. He had burned for her for years.

Yes, he had buried that unrequited desire beneath duty. Had pretended to want and bedded other women.

Yet, his desire for Sunny had burnt all the stronger for having been submerged.

He had one thought now. To take her. To imprint himself on her so indelibly, she would never think of any man but him.

He cupped her breasts. Their tips hardened and crushed into his palms. He thrust his tongue against hers, kissing her deeply.

Her muffled moans spurred him on and he fondled her more passionately. Her hips arched against him and he shifted until his thigh rested between hers. She froze then moaned in her throat and pressed her mons against his leg. Her flesh dampened him. He slid his hand down her belly.

He tore his lips from hers and lifted away from her body so that he could watch himself touch her intimate flesh. He traced his fingertips over the fine, medium-brown triangle of hair, and the full, luscious outer lips.

His cock jerked with a surge of lust. He wanted to own that beautiful cunny.

He parted her outer lips then touched the erect little nub.

She jerked her hips and gasped.

“Easy, love,” he said, caressing her in a circular motion. He kissed her mouth, again and again. Kissed and fondled her breasts, and all the while kept touching her cunny.

He felt her moving away from him in spirit, even though her body lay writhing in his arms. He moved close once more and touched her face. “Sunny.”

She moaned.

“Open your eyes.”

Her lashes fluttered open. Her eyes were glazed.

“Sunny, it’s James.”

“He’s here.”

“No, he’s not here. Not really.”

James sounded so confident. Sunny clung to his shoulders, wanting to believe. But Freddy’s face loomed so clearly in her mind. She could smell his scent.

“He’s not here,” James said again, more firmly.

“But I feel him. He’s so real.”

Hot, silken smoothness touched her belly. The weight of his erection. It throbbed against her.

“You feel that?”

She nodded.

“That’s real,” he said.

Hair tickled her leg as he put his thigh between hers, this time using it to spread her legs. He put his cock to her entrance.

She caught her breath and her heart beat wildly with anticipation.

“Do you feel that?”

“Oh, yes,” she said breathlessly.

“That’s the only thing real for you in this moment.”

She closed her eyes and arched up, eagerly greeting him.

“Open your eyes, love.”

She opened them.

He knelt between her spread legs and grasped her buttocks and lifted her hips.

A little thrill raced through her as he handled her, positioning her body to suit his need.

“Don’t take your eyes off me,” he ordered.

The crown of his cock throbbed against her.

Any moment and she would lose her virginity. Here, now, finally. Excitement made her weak. Almost faint. She moaned to release some of the pent-up energy.

He tightened his grasp on her and pressed into her, meeting her resistance.

He pressed harder.

She gasped and fell back against the pillow.

“Easy, love.” He increased the pressure.

Her resistance gave way.

A stinging pain pierced her. Raw. Sharp.

She gripped his shoulders, aware that her nails were digging into his skin but she couldn’t stop, couldn’t let go. She cried out. But the pain had become more sweet than sharp.

He was sliding into her. Into her! Yes, she’d known this was how it happened, but imagining how it would feel was nothing like it actually felt. She was stretching and stretching. It didn’t feel like it was possible to stretch any further. Yet, he was still sliding in deeper.

He groaned and thrust even deeper.

“Ohhh!” Her cry was mostly surprise. She hadn’t imagined how utterly invaded it would feel to have a man completely inside. It wasn’t unpleasant. Far from it. It was just something outside of her experience.

“Look at me, Sunny.”

She hadn’t realized that she had closed her eyes. She complied and gazed into his eyes.

“Does it feel all right?”

“It’s very…different.”

“Does it hurt?”

“No, just…
different.”