The Demon Collector (13 page)

‘How often does he come down here for a start?’

‘What?’ Spinorix stopped sobbing and stared up at Edgy.

‘Well, does he come every day? Once a week? Will he notice, is what I’m askin’ yer?’

‘Will he notice?’ Spinorix began wailing again. ‘Of course he’ll notice. He doesn’t come down very often, but when he does, he’ll see. I mean, you can’t miss it. If it were a toe or a vertebra . . . But the head!’

Edgy gazed around the hall, desperately scanning the room for some inspiration. Finally, his eyes rested on a display cabinet full of horned skulls. He strode over and wrenched open the door.

‘How about if we use one of these?’

Spinorix jumped to his feet, his eyes so wide Edgy could barely make out any of his other features. ‘Use one of those?’ he spluttered. ‘Just slap another skull on top of the body of Aldorath? Just like that?’

‘Yeah,’ Edgy said. Henry whined, licking his lips as Edgy rocked the skull in his palms.

Spinorix groaned. ‘It was bad enough when that horrible boy cut a hole in it . . .’

‘What did Lord Mauldeth say about that?’ Edgy said, thinking of the piece in his pocket.

Spinorix gave an embarrassed cough and twiddled his fingers. ‘Well, you see, I hadn’t quite plucked up the courage to tell him about that.’

‘I reckon you have a choice,’ Edgy said. ‘You can go and tell Lord Mauldeth –’

‘No,’ Spinorix gasped. ‘He’d never forgive me.’

‘Well then, you can either leave it as it is and hope nobody notices or,’ Edgy tossed the skull to Spinorix, who gave a shriek as he caught it, ‘you can stick that on, which’ll buy us more time to figure out who is nickin’ all this stuff and get it back!’

Spinorix jumped up and down on the spot, the points of his ears wobbling. ‘Oh, you mean you’ll help me find them? Thank you so much! I knew it wasn’t true what they said about you,’ he gabbled, shaking Edgy’s hand.

‘Who? Said what?’

‘Oh, I just heard Sally grumbling to Slouch, that’s all.’ Spinorix went a deeper shade of red, if that were possible. ‘I didn’t join in. Backbiting isn’t my style.’ He glanced away from Edgy’s gaze. ‘But she said you were just the sort to go waltzing off with someone else’s head.’

‘I bet she did,’ Edgy said, rolling his eyes to the ceiling. ‘What did Slouch say?’

‘Not much,’ Spinorix sniffed. ‘Couldn’t be bothered.’

‘Right, let’s get started,’ Edgy said. ‘We need to find the skull that will fit the best. An’ we’ll need a pen an’ ink . . .’

It took longer than he’d hoped. Spinorix took ages rummaging around in drawers for a pen and once that was achieved, some of the skulls they selected wobbled on the wired spine and fell off. One clipped Spinorix’s toe, making him curse and hop around the hall. Finally, Edgy stood back and admired the new head. Spinorix bobbed and weaved nervously around him, jumping up on his shoulder at one point to get a better view.

‘There,’ Edgy said, trying to keep his voice bright. ‘Looks like the real thing to me.’

‘How would you know?’ Spinorix muttered. ‘No one’s going to be fooled by that scribble on the top of it.’

He did have a point. The skull they’d chosen was a little small for the body and Edgy’s attempts at drawing a map on the top of the skull were smudged and clumsy.

‘It’s hard to draw on a curved surface,’ he said, stiffening at the complaint. ‘Anyway, it doesn’t have to be perfect, just less obvious it’s missing so we’ve got a bit of time.’

‘And how are we going to catch the thief?’ Spinorix’s eyes glowed and he grabbed Edgy’s sleeve. ‘Have you worked it out?’

Edgy glanced at Henry, who cocked his head as if he wanted to know the answer too. Things had just got a bit more complicated. Edgy had imagined himself fixing the triangle of bone back into the skull and presenting it to Janus with a flourish. But now he had to find the skull first – and whoever had taken it. Edgy’s eyes widened.
And if Mr Janus reads the book, he’ll find out about the skull and want to see it!

Before Edgy could speak, Janus came striding into the exhibition hall.

‘Ah, there you are,’ he said, ignoring Spinorix. ‘Did you get my book?’

‘The book?’ Edgy twitched and nodded to the volume. He had set it on top of a display case right next to the bones of Aldorath.

‘Yes, that’s what I sent you for, wasn’t it?’ Janus said, peering at Edgy. ‘Is something the matter? Did you have any trouble on your errand?’

‘No, no,’ Edgy lied. He couldn’t stop Janus getting the book. ‘It’s there, sir. Sorry, I was goin’ to bring it straight to you but Spinorix distracted me.’

Spinorix’s knees buckled. He clasped his hands together and looked despairingly at the false skull. Janus seemed oblivious.

‘Never mind, never mind,’ he snapped, skipping over to the book and flicking through the pages. He clenched his fist and shook it triumphantly in the air. ‘This is excellent. Excellent!’

‘There was this too, sir,’ Edgy said, pulling Scrabsnitch’s message from his pocket.

Still staring at the book, Janus took the letter. Long seconds crept by. He was lost in
The Legends of Moloch
. Edgy stood, glancing sidelong at Spinorix, who just stared at the skull. Edgy gave him a swipe with his foot, making him yelp.

Janus looked up, startled, and gave a grin. ‘This is superb news, Edgy,’ he said, scanning the letter. ‘I think we should pay a visit to the Green Man Inn tonight!’

‘Righto,’ Edgy said, giving a thin smile.

The story of Aldorath was halfway through the book. At least Janus wouldn’t have time to read up to that point today. But it was only a matter of time. Edgy had to find the skull before then or Spinorix would be in deep trouble – and so would he.

Satan couldn’t get along without plenty of help.

Traditional proverb

Chapter Sixteen

The Green Man Inn

The Green Man public house stood at the end of a narrow, twisting alley near the leather market. Tall warehouses flanked it, making it look like a drunk hanging from the shoulders of two friends. The roof sagged, the windows slanted. Everything looked as if it would slide into a stagnant heap at any moment. Dark shadows crossed and weaved across the grey of the pub’s misted-up windows. A magic lantern show of drinkers and merrymakers. The murmurs, cheers and laughter rose and fell from inside.

Janus tapped his foot impatiently as he stood in the shop doorway opposite the pub.

‘Scrabsnitch should be here by now,’ he said, pulling a fob watch from his pocket and squinting at it.

‘What’re you goin’ to do, Mr Janus?’ Edgy said, huddled behind him, staring across the road at the glowing windows. He wished Henry was with him but Janus had insisted he stay at the Society. ‘Are we going to try to capture Mr Fager? Will you ossify ’im?’

‘Ideally, we’ll just chat to him,’ Janus muttered, tapping his watch. ‘We don’t have to ossify him. There are other ways, you know.’ He rummaged in his pocket and pulled out a round pebble, blood red and pulsing with a gentle light.

Edgy stared, bewitched by the crimson glow. ‘What is it, Mr Janus?’

‘This is a demon pearl. If you throw it at the right moment, you can trap a demon inside it.’

‘Inside?’ Edgy said, his eyes widening. ‘How’s that possible, sir?’

‘The pearls are collected from oysters that cling to the bottom of the marsh fed by the River Styx.’ Janus rolled the pearl between his finger and thumb. ‘The theory is that pearls are formed around impurities and demons are the ultimate impurity. Throw the pearl at a demon and it absorbs him. Once trapped inside the pearl, the demon is in debt to anyone who frees him.’

‘But why,’ Edgy began, wondering if it was a wise question, ‘why not use them instead of ossifying demons?’

Janus pursed his lips for a moment. ‘I don’t like ossifying demons, Edgy, but sometimes even a pearl won’t do. Besides, demon pearls are rare to find and so are not cheaply spent.’ He paused as the muffled, shabby figure of Scrabsnitch emerged from the shadow on the other side of the alley. ‘Anyway, why ossify or use a pearl when I have Riddle Master Edgy Taylor at my side? Sharpen your wits, Master Taylor, we’re going to meet Belphagor.’

Edgy’s heart sank. Him? Riddle Master? Not after his terrible performance with Salomé on the rooftops.

The scrunch of Scrabsnitch’s boots on the rough ground of the alley brought Edgy back to attention.

‘Good evening, Mr Janus,’ Scrabsnitch said, raising his top hat. His voice was muffled by the scarf that covered his face.

‘Good evening, Mr Scrabsnitch,’ Janus replied. ‘Care for a flagon of strong ale and some demonic banter?’

‘Very much so,’ Scrabsnitch murmured. ‘I need some strong drink after my encounter with her ladyship.’ Janus stared blankly at Scrabsnitch. ‘Didn’t Edgy tell you of our close call today? Salomé herself, I believe, came into my shop after this young man, but he was too fast for her and took off across the rooftops!’

‘No,’ Janus said, narrowing his eyes at Edgy. ‘He didn’t mention it at all . . .’

‘I didn’t want to bother you, Mr Janus an’ I got away, no problem,’ Edgy lied.

‘I fear the boy is just being modest, Mr Janus,’ Scrabsnitch grinned.

Janus gave a smile and ruffled Edgy’s hair. ‘You may be right, Scrabsnitch,’ he said. ‘Now let’s get inside and see this demon. We’ll watch Edgy in action!’

Edgy groaned inwardly.
Why don’t I just tell them the truth?
He’d thought he was so clever at riddles but Salomé had beaten him twice now. What made him think that this Belphagor would be any easier? He was a fraud and now this demon would show him up. Before killing him or taking his soul, that is.

The heat from the crush of bodies in the pub hit Edgy as Janus pushed the door open. The wave of noise and the smell of unwashed bodies, gas lamps, tobacco smoke and ale jostled his senses, making him screw his face up.

Most of the drinkers appeared human but Edgy noticed the odd hoof or tail poking out from the mass. Edgy stood flanked by Scrabsnitch and Janus. The hubbub stopped and all eyes turned on them as they stepped further into the single room of the pub. The crowd parted before Janus like the Red Sea before Moses, a corridor of craned necks and curious eyes with, at the end of it, the burly, red-faced Bill Fager leaning behind the bar.

‘Evening, gents,’ he said, grinning through his bushy, handlebar moustache. ‘How can I help you?’

Is Janus wrong?
This landlord looked human to Edgy. But, as Janus had said before: ‘There are demons and there are demons.’

‘What d’you see, Edgy?’ Janus asked, donning his Hades Lenses. ‘Looks ordinary to me. His glamour spell must be strong.’

Edgy shrugged. ‘Just old Bill, sir.’

‘Look harder, really peer at him,’ Janus whispered.

Edgy squinted at the landlord. The burly man’s outline blurred for a moment and a shadowy horned silhouette flickered briefly into view.

‘Wait a minute, sir,’ Edgy muttered. ‘I can see somethin’ now.’

‘Is that you, Edgy Taylor?’ Fager said, frowning and straightening up from the bar. ‘Didn’t recognise you with those fancy clothes on. Where’s Mr Talon these days?’

‘Ask him a riddle,’ Janus hissed, elbowing Edgy.

‘Excuse me, Mr Fager,’ Edgy said. ‘Could you tell me, what walks around all day on its head?’ Fager looked blankly at him. Edgy turned to Janus and said under his breath, ‘See, he must be human. He hasn’t got a clue what I’m talkin’ about.’

‘A horseshoe nail, that’s what walks about all day on its head,’ Fager said, making Edgy turn back.

The man’s outline shimmered and flickered again. Edgy glimpsed spiral horns, furnace eyes.

‘He’s our man, Mr Janus. Or not, as the case may be,’ Edgy said out of the corner of his mouth.

Janus beamed and turned to address the creature at the bar. ‘Belphagor, we know who you are. We would like to talk to you. To ask you some questions and invite you to join the Royal Society of Daemonologie.’

Belphagor stepped back from the bar, seeming to grow, his outline indistinct and flickering. ‘Royal Society, eh? And how d’you propose I join? As one of your statues to decorate your precious exhibition hall?’

‘Believe me,’ said Janus, holding up a hand, ignoring the growing murmur of the crowd at Belphagor’s shimmering change, ‘we no longer ossify demons.’

‘Try telling that to Thammuz, Janus,’ Belphagor spat. A ram’s head replaced his slicked-back hair and chubby face. ‘Or should I say, Janus the Stonemason. That’s what they used to call you, wasn’t it?’

Janus slipped his hand inside his pocket. ‘All we want to do is talk.’

But Belphagor’s attention had shifted to Edgy. ‘And you seem full of yourself, Edgy Taylor. Riddling’s a dangerous game. Never know what you might lose. Now you’ll riddle with me.’

My father left me three acres of land,

Sing ivy, sing ivy.

My father left me three acres of land,

Sing holly, go whistle and ivy.

I ploughed it with a ram’s horn,

And sowed it all over with one peppercorn.

I harrowed it with a bramble bush,