The Derring-Do Club and the Empire of the Dead (33 page)

‘Oh, oh, Gina,’ he silently mouthed, utterly entranced.

When Georgina reached the front she couldn’t see the empty pews. By then, she only had eyes for her Captain.

The Chaplain spoke, a disembodied voice almost, as Georgina could only really see her veil and vague ghostly shadows beyond. Only Arthur was close enough to be real.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this congregation, to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony…”

It’s really happening, Georgina thought.

“…unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly, to satisfy men’s carnal lusts and appetites, like brute beasts that have no understanding…”

Georgina wondered about the words ‘wantonly’, ‘carnal’ and ‘lusts’.

“First,” the Chaplain continued: “It was ordained for the procreation…”

‘Procreation’ was another such word.

“Secondly, It was ordained for a remedy against sin, and to avoid fornication…”

And ‘fornication’.

“Thirdly…”

It was all a whirl, passing too quickly!

“…Therefore if any man can shew any just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace.”

The silence was palpable, a heaviness that settled over everyone and for Georgina it went on for a geological age. Finally, the Chaplain looked down from his step, his face very serious.

“I require and charge you both, as ye will answer at the dreadful day of judgement when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of you know any impediment…”

She wasn’t the eldest, she thought: it should have been Earnestine’s turn. It wasn’t fair! While she worried, the Chaplain turned to Arthur and asked him a lot of questions.

“I will,” Arthur answered clearly.

“Georgina Victoria Alexandrina Deering–Dolittle,” said the Chaplain, and it snapped her back into the present, “wilt thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?”

Georgina couldn’t seem to get her throat to work.

She felt Charlotte’s nudge from her left.

“I will.”

“Who giveth this woman to be married to this man?”

There was another silence, this one filled with scrapes and shuffles.

“My father is…” Georgina began, but she couldn’t think of the words.

“I will,” Charlotte piped in.

“Oh!” said the Chaplain, looking down his nose.

“She is dressed for it,” said Caruthers and a titter went around the congregation. “Bloomerism clearly has its uses.”

“Yes, yes, of course, why not,” said Georgina, all of a fluster. She put her right hand in Charlotte’s right hand, who passed it to the Chaplain, who placed it in turn into Arthur’s safekeeping, who had already promised to always keep her safe.

Charlotte stepped back smartly and joined the ranks of soldiers as if she was some brand of junior rating.

Facing each other, hand in hand with Georgina, Arthur repeated each phrase after the Chaplain as if somehow she was marrying both of them, and so, despite the repetition, Georgina didn’t follow any of the echoed words.

Arthur let go.

Georgina was confused and then realised that it was her turn to take his right hand in her right hand.

“I, Georgina Victoria Alexandrina,” said the Chaplain.

Funny, she thought, that he had the same name as she did.

“I, Georgina Victoria Alexandrina,” he repeated.

“I, Georgina Victoria Alexandrina,” she said, and then it all came tumbling out. All those peeks ahead in the prayer book during boring sermons and all the late night rehearsals that had taken place in her mind since before she could remember took over and the rush was exhilarating: “Yes… I take thee Arthur Philip Merryweather to my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.”

Arthur took his hand back and turned away from her.

“Caruthers,” he murmured.

“Ah,” said Caruthers, stepping smartly up: “Right you are.”

Caruthers put their rings on the bible that the Chaplain held open. The Chaplain blessed it and handed it back to Arthur like a waiter delivering with a tray. Arthur took it, took her left hand and gently encircled her fourth finger. Her heart trembled as he did so.

“With this ring–” the Chaplain said.

“With this ring I thee wed,” Arthur began and then he too took over to speak it all as she had done, “with my body I thee worship, and with all my… worldly goods I thee endow.”

The Chaplain took over: “In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen,”

“Amen,” murmured with increasing volume around the chapel.

“Let us pray,” said the Chaplain.

Everyone knelt, although the happy couple struggled because of Georgina’s dress until Charlotte came to the rescue to straighten it out. By the time Georgina was settled, the Chaplain had finished the prayer.

“Amen,” everyone said.

“Those whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder,” he said, before standing tall and facing the whole congregation. “Forasmuch as Arthur Philip Merryweather and Georgina – excuse me – Georgina Victoria Alexandrina Deering–Dolittle have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have given and pledged their troth either to other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving of a Ring, and by joining of hands; I pronounce that they be Man and Wife together, In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.”

“Amen.”

Charlotte came forward and lifted Georgina’s veil back. Magically colour came into the world for Georgina as the Chaplain spoke about life everlasting.

“Amen.”

“Psalm sixty seven: Deus Misereatur, God be merciful unto us.”

Everyone stood, fumbled with their hymn books and sang: God be merciful unto us.

After the standing, it was kneeling again as the Chaplain read from the Book of Common Prayer and the congregation gave the responses. Georgina and Arthur exchanged a smirk. She was happy, he was happy, so she was happy twice.

“…by whose gracious gift mankind is increased: We beseech thee, assist with thy blessing these two persons, that they may both be fruitful in procreation of children…”

That was a good idea, Georgina thought, children, although how precisely that worked she was unsure.

Everyone said “Amen”, so Georgina did too, and then there was another “Amen”.

She must concentrate, she thought, to remember it all, so that she and her Arthur could talk about it in the years to come, but the Chaplain’s words were a buzz: Adam and Eve, the touching duty of a wife to her husband. Arthur had to love her, the two of them shall be one flesh, he was to honour her as unto the weaker vessel.

And Saint Paul had advice for her: she was to submit herself to her husband. She wanted to, but she wasn’t precisely sure what was meant. They could hold hands now, she knew that, and walk side–by–side in the park
without a chaperone.
Indeed, they didn’t need to be separated at night, which was simply an astonishing thought.

“…and are not afraid with any amazement,” the Chaplain said: “And, to finish, may I be the first to say: you did it without a single stutter – well done, Merry.”

He held out his hand, which Arthur shook, and the congregation with their deep voices, all said: “Well done, Merry.”

“Yee ha!” McKendry whooped, which suited the mood perfectly.

Miss Charlotte

Charlotte had been allowed champagne, which was fizzy but nothing like lemonade at all. The officers at the reception had been tall and smart with wonderful uniforms, and she’d caught the hiccups.

All too soon all the cake was gone, and everyone was waving the happy couple off. They were only going to a hotel, but it was the Savoy.

“I’ll be fine,” said Georgina as she held Charlotte’s hand. “I know what to do.”

“Hmmm,” Charlotte mumbled.

Uncle Jeremiah bade her farewell, holding her hand in both of his.

“My dear,” he said. “You know about the birds and the bees?”

“Oh yes,” Georgina replied. “I’ve studied: ornithology, entomology and lepidoptera – I have an excellent butterfly collection.”

“Excellent, excellent,” said Uncle Jeremiah, who, as usual, was not really listening.

Merryweather joined them having escaped from his colleagues. He held the carriage’s door open and helped his new wife, Mrs Arthur Merryweather – just imagine, her sister married – up the steps. With a last wave, they were away clattering down the street.

Caruthers hailed a hansom cab for Charlotte and another for Uncle Jeremiah. The old man had insisted she take the first.

Charlotte was happy and content as she turned into Zebediah Row and saw the sycamore trees that she remembered so well. The road had been named after Samson Zebediah, who was famous for having a road named after him and nothing else. It would be remembered now for the road on which the Deering–Dolittle Sisters lived. Omnibuses would bring nosey visitors to the street who would point and buy souvenirs from street hawkers. Their house was on the odd side of the street: 12b, and the gate creaked open to welcome her home.

Charlotte pulled the cord to ring the doorbell. Through the mottled glass, she saw a shadow loom towards the door. Cook would let her in, and after she’d refused more cake from the woman, she’d have a lie down. The strange shape opened the door and became Earnestine.

“Ness!”

“Charlotte, what time do you call this?”

“Ness! You’re here.”

“Evidently I’m going to get no sense out of you. Where’s your chaperone, I’d like a word with her. Lottie, out of the way!”

Earnestine pushed past into the empty pathway, tut–tutted and then opened the little gate with its angry creak and went onto the pavement. She looked right and left, right and left again, and then came back.

“Where is your chaperone?”

“I didn’t have one,” said Charlotte.

Earnestine did that startled tic with her eyes, blinking, and then her lips narrowed: “I see,” she said.

Earnestine went inside leaving Charlotte in the porch. Charlotte followed and saw that Earnestine had gone into the drawing room, the room that was sealed from the dust for special occasions. When she went in, Earnestine was standing by the fireplace, her hands held together in front of her and a stern expression on her face.

Charlotte waited: she knew there was no point in saying anything.

“Well,” said Earnestine. “I’m waiting for an explanation.”

“I caught a cab home from the Regimental Club–”

“Regimental Club?!”

“We had ham with little… and then cake, wedding cake, and–”

“Wedding cake?!”

“Fruit cake with marzipan and icing with–”

“I know what wedding cake is.”

She wants an explanation, but she won’t let me finish a sentence, Charlotte thought.

“Go on,” said Earnestine.

“I had champagne and it made me burp.”

“Charlotte Deering–Dolittle, you are–”

“Gina let me.”

“I will have to have words with Georgina Deering–Dolittle as well.”

“Well, you can’t, she’s married.”

“We’ll see about that… Charlotte! It’s bad enough that you’ve been gallivanting without having to make up lies about it.”

“She is married.”

“Don’t be absurd: Georgina is the middle sister, she simply wouldn’t get married before her elder sister. I am the eldest, I am not married, ergo: she is not married.”

“She is.”

“Why would she do that? Pray tell me. Although why I humour you, I don’t know.”

“She’s in love.”

Earnestine blinked, her lips practically disappeared: “I see.”

“She thought you were dead, so… that made her the elder sister, so it’s all right really.”

“All right really!? I’m here, aren’t I?” Earnestine put her hand on her bosom as if Charlotte didn’t know who Earnestine was. “I’m alive, therefore she is not the elder sister, therefore she has no right to get married.”

“Georgina was lovely and the service was lovely and everyone was so nice and you are so horrid… just because you’re an old maid.”

“I am not an old maid.”

“You’re twenty!”

“Listen–”

But Charlotte didn’t listen: she talked: “Georgina was the eldest for a couple of days and she got married, whereas you’ve been the eldest for simply years and years and years and haven’t got married once. And there are girls who are grandmothers at your age.”

“Don’t exaggerate,” Earnestine said. “Where is Georgina now?”

Charlotte kept quiet.

Earnestine stepped forward, grabbed Charlotte by her ear and twisted. Charlotte yelped.

“Where?”

“I’m not telling – ah, ah – the Savoy.”

Earnestine let go.

Charlotte refused to rub her ear: she wasn’t going to give Earnestine the satisfaction, but it hurt so much.

Earnestine went back to her pose by the fireplace, blinked and her lips tightened: “The Savoy, you say.”

“Yes.”

“Right!” Earnestine announced and she went for the door.

Charlotte tried to get in her way, but nothing could stop Earnestine once her mind was made up and she marched down the path to the road. The gate squeaked in protest as it closed.

Earnestine shouted, her hand aloft: “Cab!”

When people wanted a cab, there never was one, but now that Charlotte wanted them to stay away, one was passing. It turned and sidled back to the pavement.

Charlotte intercepted Earnestine.

“You can’t go there!” Charlotte threw her arms wide, physically barring the way to the hansom. Earnestine took a step forward forcing Charlotte back until the youngest reached the door itself, her hands gripping the frame on either side

“You can’t!”