The Devil Inside (34 page)

My mind finally caught up with what Raphael was suggesting. For half a second, I hoped Lugh would object, but when Adam looked at him for confirmation, he nodded.

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Jenna Black, The Devil Inside (2007)

Morgan Kingsley #1

“No!” I screamed mentally, frantically shoving on the door, but it was too late.

Adam drew his gun. “I’m sorry, Morgan,” he said. Then he shot Raphael…

shot Andrew, my brother.

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Jenna Black, The Devil Inside (2007)

Morgan Kingsley #1

The bullet slammed into Andrew’s chest and knocked him backward. He fell in what seemed like slow motion, landing on his back. With a massive burst of will, I shoved the doors of my mind shut and regained control of my body.

“Andy!” I screamed, and ran to kneel beside him where he lay. His eyes were open, his face twisted in a grimace of pain. I grabbed his hand, feeling like an enormous fist closed around my heart. So much for my thought that I’d stopped loving my brother long ago.

I couldn’t form words around the lump of despair in my throat. I watched the blood spread over Andrew’s chest, and knew Raphael had no intention of healing the wound.

Impotent rage freed my voice. “Heal my brother, you bastard!” Tears streaked down my cheeks. “Don’t you do this!”

“Have to,” he grunted. “Need to…go back home…infiltrate again.” He coughed blood. “This is…good cover story.” His eyes slid shut, but I could still hear his labored breathing.

“No! Raphael! Heal him. Please. I’ll exorcize you, send you back.”

But I knew he wasn’t going to do it, even before he shook his head. “Too strong for you,” he gasped. “Sorry.”

Adam knelt beside me. I turned to him, my rage so huge I thought I might kill him with my puny human hands. He gave me a grave, regretful look.

“I had to do it, Morgan, but don’t give up hope.”

That made me blink. I’d expected excuses and explanations. I sucked in a sobbing breath.

“Let Lugh surface again,” Adam continued. His voice was soft and gentle, like he was talking to a frightened child. At that moment, I’m not sure that was so far off. “He’s a very powerful demon—perhaps the most powerful of us all. He might still be able to heal Andrew after Raphael has fled.”

I blinked stupidly. “Raphael can’t ‘flee’ unless Andrew is dead.”

“Raphael can flee as soon as Andrew’s heart stops beating. If I do CPR

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Jenna Black, The Devil Inside (2007)

Morgan Kingsley #1

and Lugh transfers to Andrew, we might be able to get his heart beating again and heal him.”

I sniffled and tried to think straight. If I let Lugh surface again, I could heal Andy and be rid of my unwanted guest at the same time. My life could go back to normal—assuming I didn’t die or go catatonic when Lugh left me, that is. Somehow, I thought that was unlikely. If I could still function as myself even with a demon living in me, it stood to reason that I’d function without him as well.

But even if this killed me, I couldn’t just let my brother die. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves, then closed my eyes and imagined opening the doors.

Nothing happened at first. I’d been so frantic when I’d let Lugh surface the first time that I wasn’t sure I knew exactly how I’d done it.

“Hurry, Morgan,” Adam said. “He stopped breathing.”

Adam’s words injected a shot of panic into me, and the adrenaline gave me the strength I needed to open the doors. I felt Lugh fill me, felt the slight changes in my posture and facial expression that said I was no longer myself.

“Don’t let go of his hand,” Lugh said. “I’ll try my best to save him, but if I fail, I need to be able to return to you.”

Then I felt him drain away.

Adam leapt into motion, positioning his hands on Andrew’s sternum and starting CPR. The pressure made more blood pour out of the wound. All I could do was pray.

It seemed to go on forever. Adam pumping away at my brother’s chest, then breathing into his mouth. Despair settled over me, even as I told myself that the wound didn’t seem to be bleeding as much. Finally, Adam rocked back on his heels. Grief threatened to overwhelm me. Until I saw Andrew’s chest rise and then fall. Another rush of tears crawled down my cheeks, and I squeezed his hand convulsively.

“You did it!” I said. I wasn’t sure whether I was talking to Lugh or to Adam. “Thank you.”

Adam nodded, then gave me a pitying look. I didn’t like it.

“What?” I asked. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“For Raphael’s cover story to stay intact, Andrew can’t be hosting a 223 / 226

Jenna Black, The Devil Inside (2007)

Morgan Kingsley #1

demon. Raphael will have to tell Dougal’s people that his host was killed. And if any of their operatives on the Mortal Plain discover he’s still hosting…

The fact that I managed to resuscitate him at all will put some doubt into the story, but as long as it’s clear he’s not hosting when it’s over, Dougal’s people should believe it.”

I dropped Andrew’s hand and scooted away. Yeah, I’d mostly transferred Lugh to save Andrew’s life, but I can’t pretend I hadn’t also looked forward to getting rid of him.

Not that I didn’t like him, you understand. His kindness and his noble cause had definitely won me over. But these last couple weeks of playing the reluctant hero had been more than enough for me! When I thought about what I’d gone through because of him—being attacked by my best friend, having my house burned to the ground, watching Adam murder my former best friend, letting Adam hurt me, almost being burned at the stake…

Let Andrew be the hero. It’s what he always wanted, why he decided to be a host in the first place.

“It’s too late,” Adam said. “He transferred back as soon as Andrew’s heart started beating.”

I hadn’t felt a thing. But I believed him anyway. I drew my knees up to my chest and lowered my head, hugging my knees to me and fighting despair.

“You bastards,” I said, but I didn’t think Adam could hear me. Lugh could. They’d let me believe that if Andrew survived, Lugh would stay with him, that I’d be free. That was as good as lying, in my book. I really believe that if they’d explained what they were planning to do, I’d have gone along with the plan. I wouldn’t have liked it, but if I’d thought about the consequences of Andrew showing up still hosting a demon, I probably would have agreed that I had to take Lugh back. But there’s always that hint of doubt.

Lugh can read all my thoughts and feelings. He knows me better than it’s possible for any human being to know another. And he chose not to tell me he planned to move back in. Does that mean that given the opportunity to get rid of him, I would have said To hell with the human race, just let me be free?

I don’t think that’s the case. I think Lugh didn’t clue me in because he 224 / 226

Jenna Black, The Devil Inside (2007)

Morgan Kingsley #1

couldn’t take the time to explain while Andrew lay dying. That’s what he tells me, though maybe he’s just telling me what I want to hear. Adam picked up Andrew’s limp body and carried him to the car. He was going to have to do a lot of creative talking when he got my brother to the emergency room, but I was sure he’d manage. And me? Yeah, I’d manage too, eventually. But I knew as long as Lugh was a part of me, my life would never be the same, would never be truly my own. And that was one hell of a depressing thought. Brian was awake, but groggy, by the time I got to the hospital. Emotional coward that I am, I’d checked on Dominic first. Dom was doing fine—

”just a flesh wound,” he’d joked—and would be out of the hospital in a day or two.

My throat ached, and something I might almost have called terror tightened my chest as I walked through the door into Brian’s room. I swear, if I’d seen condemnation in his eyes, I would have shattered into little pieces right there. Instead, he smiled weakly and held out his hand. My throat was too tight for words, so I just took his hand and sat down beside him on the bed. His eyes were heavy with drugs—either the ones the bad guys had given him, or the ones the hospital had—and he didn’t seem inclined to talk.

I cleared my throat to try to loosen my voice. “I’m sorry,” I said. “About everything.”

Another weak smile, and he squeezed my hand. His voice sounded hoarse and dreamy. “No worries. It’s all over now.”

I did my best not to wince, because, of course, it was far from over. But I was going to make sure that for Brian, at least, it was. I had learned a hard lesson, and I wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. He was losing the battle against sleep, his eyes sliding shut then jerking open again as he desperately tried to stay awake. I was going to miss him more than I could possibly say.

“I love you,” I told him as his eyes closed once more. This time, they didn’t open again. I bent over and kissed him very gently on the lips. His eyelids fluttered, but that was all.

“I’ll always love you.”

When I was sure he was fast asleep, I slipped my hand out of his. I’d 225 / 226

Jenna Black, The Devil Inside (2007)

Morgan Kingsley #1

risked everything to save him, and I’d be damned if I let him get hurt because of me again. So I was going to be a big girl about this and do the right thing. I was going to let him go, even though he would never understand.

Even though it was going to hurt more than anything I’d ever done before in my life.

I paused in the doorway, looking back on his sleeping form. “Goodbye,”

I whispered. Then I forced myself to walk away. 226 / 226

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