The Devil Made Me Do It (26 page)

Concealing his true state of mind, Charles periodically bobbed his head to the music playing through the stereo earphones on his head.

He was startled when Phyllis appeared before him mouthing that the telephone was for him as she passed him the cordless.

Slow to respond, Charles pulled his earphones off. “Hello, Charles speaking.”

“Hey, man, this is Briggs. I wanted to call and see if you had some time to hang out today.”

“I don't need any hand holding, Pastor Stokes. I got this,” Charles barked.

“It's not Pastor Stokes calling, it's Briggs. And, now I know you've gotten all my voice mails the last three days. How about if I let you hold my hand? Earlier this week, when I got home, Monica was at the house.”

Charles mellowed his tone. “Nah, man, you're kidding. What did she say?”

“Initially, she said a lot of mumbo jumbo about trying to find herself and missing me. It took all I had not to strangle her. Then it got real.”

Charles whistled. “Hey, we should hang out for a while. Why don't you come by the house? Phyllis has a hair appointment every Friday, man. She'll be gone around four hours.”

Briggs snickered. “That's all? Listen, Monica used to leave the house and be gone all day.”

“Yeah, hair, nails, eyebrows, on and on. I must admit my baby looks good when she gets home. Although, truth be told, that sleeping pretty thing really ain't that pretty. But when a woman looks good, she acts good, if you know what I'm talking about,” Charles stated jokingly.

“I hear you,” Briggs said wishing he had the same testimony.

 

 

Esther rode up in the hospital elevator clipping her plastic visitor badge to her cashmere sweater. It had been three grueling days of sitting vigil over Lawton as he fell in and out of consciousness. Not mentally or emotionally ready to go home, she'd been staying in her old room at her parents'. She was learning it was true, home is where the heart is.

Leaving the elevator, she waved to the hospital staff, stopped at Lawton's door, and peeped in. She was excited to see that he was alone.
Yippee, got my baby to myself.

“Who's there?” Lawton asked shakily as he tried to sit up.

“Lawton!” Esther said, happy and surprised to see he was lucid and talking. She pumped antibacterial wash on her hands and rushed to his bedside.

“That's me; at least, I think it's me.”

“Sweetie, it's you. All that big head can't be anyone else,” Esther teased as she bent over his bed and stroked his face.

“How are you going to make fun of a man on his sickbed?” Lawton croaked.

“You're such a perfect specimen, kidding you is easy,” she joked adjusting his pillow.

Lawton was quiet and had failed to make eye contact with Esther.

“Lawton?” Esther asked, unsure of his reaction to her presence.

Lawton turned and looked directly at her. “Hey.”

“How do you really feel?” she asked, concerned that he was in pain.

“Fine,” Lawton answered, turning away from her.

“Is there something wrong? No, scratch that. Lawton, what's wrong with you?” Esther was bewildered. She had waited three days for him to wake up. Too many times she had played nice. She was never playing the fool again. “If you don't want me here, please say so.” Esther couldn't believe she was getting the cold shoulder.

Lawton turned and asked sullenly, “Isn't there somewhere else you'd rather be?”

“For heaven's sake, where else would I need or want to be?” she said, exasperated.

“Church maybe,” Lawton said sarcastic as he grimaced in pain.

Esther was at a loss as to why such a usually sweet-tempered man was acting so rude.
It's obvious he's hurting. I'll just ignore it.
“Baby, you had me so worried.”

Lawton pointed at the wires connecting him to the monitors. “These make me look worse than I feel.”

Esther was relieved that Lawton's distance was due to him not wanting to look weak. She decided to share so he would understand that they could be vulnerable with each other. “Poor, sweetie, I know how it feels to be vulnerable. Can you believe that yesterday, my parents told me about a horrible rumor that was going on about me and Pastor Stokes at Love Zion? People are so wrong sometimes.” She shook her head.

Lawton tried to sit up. “What rumor?”

“That Briggs and I are having an a-a-affair. If it wasn't for your accident, I might have been more upset by the lie, but knowing you were here fighting your own battle made mine seem so insignificant.”

Lawton's grimace eased at Esther's simple explanation. Loathed to let her know the damaging thoughts he had harbored and mentally kicking himself for doubting her, he sought the means to move forward. “Don't let these wires scare you. You can move a little closer. Mom told me you've been here every day. Did I tell you how much you mean to me?” Now his demeanor was warm and inviting.

Esther gave him a relieved smile. “Well, you were acting a little strange when I first came in the room, but you seem to be acting like yourself now. I guess you were just in pain.”

“In more ways than one,” he mumbled. “Can I have a little kiss? It would be the perfect medicine,” he implored with an impish twinkle in his eye.

Esther leaned over and placed a tender kiss on Lawton's forehead. Her heart blossomed, and she felt a feeling of contentment just being able to talk to him. Today's progress was miraculous. “So tell me, Mr. Serve and Protect, what have you heard from the doctors this morning?”

“That today, I've turned a corner. I'm surprised they haven't barged in here already. I seem to remember them in and out all night and hearing Mama pleading for them to let me rest.”

Esther laughed. “I was here too. But, your mother, well . . .”

Lawton peeked at her. “You were? Well, about my dear mama. I told her that I had asked you to be my wife, and that when we married, we wanted her to come and live with us.”

Esther stood up sputtering. “But, Lawton . . . I haven't even said I would marry—live with us? Do you have any idea—?”

Lawton held his side and grimaced a shaky laugh. “Ooh, that hurts, stop, stop! Your face was so comical. Do I look like a mama's boy? Babe, we would drive her crazy!”

Esther laughed in relief. “I don't know, after meeting your mama.” When she saw the offended look on his face, Esther tweaked his nose in a gentle way. “I think you better take it easy. Your ribs are bruised and laughing that hard could throw something out of whack.”

Lawton settled back into his pillow. “Out of whack, Nurse Esther?”

“Oh, please . . .” Esther stated as the door swung open and the nurse entered.

The nurse was brisk and professional. “Sorry, ma'am. The doctor will be here shortly. So if you don't mind . . .”

Esther moved to leave. “I'll be right outside, and I'll come back in when they say it's okay.”

“Okay, sweetheart.” Lawton frowned when the nurse pricked him with the needle.

The door swung closed behind Esther, and Nurse Williams then stuck a thermometer in Lawton's mouth. He wanted her to finish so Esther could come back in. He hadn't shared that Sergeant Ford had visited him right before she came in and stated his car chase and subsequent accident was under police investigation. It seemed his partner, Glen, claimed he was reckless.

Charles and Briggs sat nodding their heads in time to the music.

“I hear that old dude didn't stand a chance,” Briggs said about Charles's fight.

Charles brushed the incident off, even with Phyllis, preferring to perform like the hero who took it all in stride. But he couldn't pull off the act for himself, and he'd had some sleepless nights since it all went down. His heart froze just thinking about what could have happened.

In restrained motion, Charles balled his fist and tapped it against his thigh. “Argh! I was scared. Man, I could've lost that fight,” Charles winced. “The bullet could've hit Phyllis or me. Instead, I played conquering hero.”

Briggs stood and clasped Charles's shoulders. Both men felt the other's strength. Briggs understood his feelings. “When I prayed for you in the spirit, I felt that you weren't at peace. As men, we try so hard to carry it all.”

Charles wiped moisture from his face and used the remote to shut the stereo off. “You're right. I needed to admit that something could have gone wrong. I feel lighter just saying the truth of it. Thanks for listening. Oh yea, and . . . thanks for not trying to fill me with tired clichés.”

Laughter slipped from Briggs's pressed lips. “So it's too late for me to tell you that a ‘hero ain't nothing but a sandwich'?”

Charles joined in his mirth, and the residue of pent-up tension floated away. He then went to the bar refrigerator and retrieved and tossed Briggs a bottle of water. “So much for my issues. Spill the beans on Monica.”

“I really don't know what to say. We had the first authentic conversation in our marriage the other night. The truth was powerful. Now we have to learn to heal from it.” Briggs started chuckling. “I'm going to owe the Gregorys a grip. Monica has broken almost all Mrs. Gregory's knickknacks.”

Charles smiled but refused to stray from the subject. “Does your struggle have anything to do with Esther?”

“No. At one time Esther was the focus of some of my not-so-right day-and-night fantasies. Shoot—I'm a man, trying to be worthy of wearing the mantle of a saint. We are now just friends in passing; even close friendship would be dangerous. The temptation to do wrong would be too strong.”

Charles took a swig of his water. “I don't want to pour salt on open wounds, but I think Lawton will really be good for her.”

Briggs waved his comment away. “Naw, man. So do I. Maybe in another life . . .”

Charles rolled his cold water bottle in his hands. “We only got this one, bro. And this may not make me very popular in your eyes, but has whatever Monica been doing while away from you any different or worse than where your heart has been these last months?”

“I want to storm out of here, but the Holy Spirit in me says I have to at least consider what you're saying.” Briggs weighed Charles's words before he spoke. “It seems we both haven't been happy for a long time.”

Charles continued. “I'm not as eloquent with my speech or as learned in my word as you, but I don't remember being unhappy as a perquisite for getting out of a marriage. Oh, I know that many do, but I feel that our God calls us as Christians to a higher calling. You have to at least try to make it work God's way.”

“Don't hurt a brother too bad, Elder Davis. I left my wallet out in the car, but if you hold on, I'll be right back with your offering,” Briggs halfheartedly joked. He felt sideswiped by Charles's comments, especially when he had come to enlighten, not be enlightened.

Charles rubbed his cheek thinking. “Hey, must be the Holy Spirit 'cause even I don't know where that came from. I just know that you're a man who happens to love and follow God in spite of all your human foibles and scars. Don't let your hurt feelings make a decision that all of you will have to live with. I would hate for you to do anything that would cause you to falter in your walk.”

Briggs's sigh filled the room. “Yeah, well, I have a lot of battles to fight this week; I'll just add this one to them.”

Charles hesitated, then shrugged his shoulder. “Those rumors are no joke. Every time my phone rings, the lie gets bigger and uglier. And I have to tell somebody to quit calling my house with trash and that none of that nonsense is true.”

“I hear you. I was trying to ignore them, but when I went to the gas station yesterday, some young man tried to give me play as a mack daddy preacher. Now you know I'm not trying to be down like that.”

Charles shook his head as he tried to hold back his laughter. “A mack daddy? Where do these young men get their mentalities from? ‘Thugs 'R' Us?' I want to take every one of them home, give them some pants that fit, take the gold out of their mouths when their mamas, daddies, or the state paid good money for straight white teeth, and spare not the rod.”

Briggs spoke with fervor. “We have to love them into submission. The hip-hop generation has stolen from us the best and the brightest, and it wasn't anything but a plan of the enemy. He took their low self-esteem and put them in low-sagging pants. Now their sagging spirits match their oppressive future. The enemy has played to the beat of their soul, and now they're just beat down.”

“Amen, brother! Now I need to give
you
the offering. I feel you. I heard Cornel West say that they were so busy being peacocks who look good but who can't fly that they forgot they were born to be eagles that soar. Maybe you can help do something about that. Start something right here.”

“Now I can see how that would be a plan; thanks for volunteering to help me.”

“I didn't volunteer . . .”

“Oh yes, you did.” Briggs waved his hand in the air. “Sing it with me, ‘I believe that children are our future . . .'”

“Oh, you real funny, but this appears to be another conversation, for another time. Now, what about the fight you have against these rumors? Whatever you have planned, I'm in. For a nonviolent man, I'm beginning to become good at this fight thing.”

“Well, here's what I was thinking . . .”

 

 

Esther's visit with Lawton was so encouraging that she decided to pack her bags and return home. If he could face the road ahead of him, she could handle returning to her home. She couldn't believe they were investigating Lawton's car chase and crash. However, God was not slack about His promises, and she had faith that all would be well. Thursday, she had left Lawton prone and in a state of semiconsciousness. Today he was functioning beyond expectations. God was good.

She wasn't ready to sleep in her old bedroom, so Esther was settling into her guest room for the night when her phone rang.

“Hey, sis. You good?” Phyllis asked.

“Yes, I went to the hospital earlier, and Lawton's progress is so reassuring. He was up talking and joking.” Esther became teary. “Life can change in an instant. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, Phyllis.”

“We all have. That's why every day He provides us with brand-new mercies. We just can't keep making the same mistakes over and over. We need to seek Him and live according to His Word. But we get lost, and lonely, and then something happens to snap us back on the right road before we begin to live a lifestyle of rebellion. Charles and I had that kind of ‘snapback moment' with the Roger incident.”

“I'm so thankful you guys are okay. I'm glad Dad and Mom told me what really happened. I can handle more than you know, Phyllis,” Esther said, needing Phyllis to see her as an adult.

Phyllis blustered. “I know what you can handle, Esther.”

Esther pushed back. “No, you knew what the child could handle. You have to learn me as an adult, Phyllis. You still see me running around, falling, and coming to you with the boo-boo on my knee.”

Phyllis argued. “And I'm still right here. You're a church girl, Esther, what is there to know? Those stupid rumormongers should know you as well as I do.”

Esther pushed harder to get Phyllis to hear her. “Phyllis, would it surprise you to know that there was smoke near that fire?”

“What are you saying, Esther? You and Briggs had a thing?” Phyllis said in a cold, hard voice.

Esther cried at her sister's coldness. “Not a real thing . . . but I have needs and wants, and my salvation doesn't always keep them at bay. You snuggle with Charles and forget that a lot of us are sleeping alone. I'm not going into everything with you, but Briggs brought a hunger out I didn't know was lurking.”

Phyllis's soft response was calmer. “Look, I'm sorry, and I won't judge you. I have some skeletons in my own closet. Let's promise each other that we'll establish a real level of intimacy and not just support for each other. And, I promise, little sister, I'll work on knowing the adult you.”

Esther grinned. “I'd like that. Let's cross our hearts on it.”

Laughter filled the phone. “Your heart's on the other side of your chest, nutcase.”

Esther looked in the mirror, and sure enough, her hand was on the wrong side of her chest. “How do you know I crossed the wrong side, Phyllis?”

“Because you've been doing it since you were a toddler. Never could get it right.”

Chagrined, Esther chuckled. “Well, maybe some things from my childhood haven't changed. Good night, Phyllis.”

“Night.”

Esther was assaulted with her childhood memories. She went to her closet, digging through boxes, and pulled out her picture album. On the front of the album, a seven-year-old Esther sat in a princess dress, wearing a tiara and holding a jeweled scepter. Her dad painted an old chair gold and put cardboard turrets on the back of it. She sat confident on her throne.

Inside the album on the first page was an eight-by-ten photo of three knobby kneed youngsters with their arms around each other smiling into the camera. Their hair was all over their heads, wind blown from bike rides and grass rolling. Their clothes rumpled and in disarray with two jump ropes lying on the ground before them.

Remembering treasured times, she smiled and touched first Sheri's, and then Deborah's face reverently. Clutching the album, she lay down and stretched out over her pillow. She stared at the young faces on the picture, and for the first time, noted a shadow in the background of the photograph. Esther peeled back the plastic, took out the picture, and held it in front of the light. She rubbed her eyes, shook her head, and placed the picture gently back in the album.

Tomorrow, I'll call about new reading glasses. I swear that looked like a serpent against the background of the photo. Lord, I'm really sleepy
.