The Devil Made Me Do It (9 page)

His hand covered hers in the confusion, and she marveled at their connection. His voice was full of wonder. “I can't believe you're here. I never imagined I would see you again.”

Wisdom led Esther to ease her hand away. She observed there was no wedding band. However, ten years is a long time and people change. He had. He was now a pastor. Esther decided to deal with the elephant in the room. “We didn't part on the best of terms, did we?”

Briggs moved closer by sitting in Reverend Gregory's vacated seat, his cologne merged with her perfume, and created an exotic light scent. “All the more reason to be friends now. This is a new town, and my first assignment as the head pastor.”

Esther inhaled their combined scent. “I'd like that. I'm a little rusty in male-female friendships, but it'll come back.”

Briggs gave a jubilant laugh. “I'm the one who'll need help. You know you're a handful.”

Esther's face tightened. “As a friend, let me warn you to stop making weight references.”

Briggs froze at her wintry response. “Whew! Girl, that was cold. I have not been making comments about your weight. I'm a grown man, not a boy. If I wanted to say something, I would say it. You're beautiful, and that's all I see when I look at you. I thought you knew me better than that. I think you owe me another apology.”

Esther knew her cheeks were crimson again. “I'm sorry, Briggs. Guess I'm carrying a little baggage.”

“Want to talk about it?” he asked, his ministerial calling kicking in.

“Not really. Let's just say my ex-husband was not a nice man and leave it at that.”

“Come on, now, we're old friends. We used to talk about anything and everything.”

Esther grunted. “Evidently not, since I'm just learning about the identity issues you carried in college. Although I do remember how much you wanted others to be okay with you.”

“Touché, but, in my defense, I was raised in a glass bowl. We're older and better now. Let an old friend help,” Briggs coaxed.

Esther bit her lower lip. “He left me feeling pretty shell-shocked about how others see me and how I see myself.”

“Thanks for sharing that. I hope as your pastor and your friend, I can help you accept the restoration that you deserve. I won't push for more right now, but I'd be honored if you would think about us meeting and discussing this some more in the church office. So . . . tell me more about Love Zion's business holdings.”

“Right away, sir,” she said as she saluted him and continued their meeting.

 

 

Later that night, Esther massaged cold cream into her face as she sat in front of her vanity. It had been a good day. She was curious though. It was the second conversation she had with Briggs, and except for some pretty vague comments, she hadn't a clue to what he had been doing with his life outside of ministry in the last several years. They either talked about her personal business or the church business; but she knew it was time she found out about his personal business. She was feeling some stirrings of old magic, and she was minding what her mama always told her, “You better look before you leap, or you might end up on a big stinking trash heap.”

“Lord knows, I've shifted through enough garbage in my life,” Esther declared as she used a tissue to wipe the cold cream off of her face.

Briggs tapped the phone off in frustration. Monica had hung up on him again. Annoyed, he placed his hands over his face and prayed that this move would improve their life together. He would do anything at this point to turn things around. The constant arguing was draining.

He'd had a good first day, calling his wife and sharing with her should have been its highlight, but it wasn't. She was still upset about having to stay in Reverend Gregory's home. He told her it didn't make sense to rent when the Gregorys' home would sit empty in their absence. But she was not hearing it, and from experience, he knew it was easier to let her have her way. He sat on the bed, his body and soul bone tired. His marriage kept him before the throne of God.

The house was quiet, the Gregorys asleep. Briggs thought about meeting Esther again after all these years. She was beautiful and full of life. If the tingling was an omen, they still had chemistry. He smiled as several warm memories washed over him. He chuckled aloud as he got ready for bed; some of Esther's escapades were legendary. Briggs crawled beneath the covers, the sheets cool against his skin, his head sunk into the pillow, and he fell into an exhausted sleep. As he slumbered his cell phone vibrated on the nightstand.

The following morning, Naomi, Reverend Gregory's secretary, frowned at the phone as she placed it on its hook. “It's too early to be messing with me,” she said out loud. It was nine in the morning, and that was the third call for Pastor Stokes from some woman named Monica.

“No home training, that's what it is; no home training at all,” she mumbled as the door opened, and Reverend Gregory and Briggs entered the office, laughing.

“ . . . and then she said, ‘That's what I'm trying to do.'”

Both Reverend Gregory and Briggs laughed again at the punch line to Reverend Gregory's joke.

“I'm glad y'all having a good morning 'cause somebody's working my nerves already,” Naomi complained to both men.

Reverend Gregory leafed through his messages in his in-box. “Now, Naomi, we have talked about having a Christian attitude every day, not just on Sunday.”

“Yes, Reverend, I know, but it has been mighty hard with all these evil people around.” Naomi pinched her narrow nose under her sliding glasses.

“That's when we most need Jesus, Naomi.” Reverend Gregory motioned to Briggs to enter his office.

“Right, right. I sho' hope they meet Him,” she said turning her attention to Briggs. “Pastor Stokes, before you go, a woman name Monica has called you three times this morning, and she wants you to call her right away.”

“Why don't you go on in and use my office, Briggs,” Reverend Gregory suggested.

Briggs opened the door, but before he could close it, he heard Reverend Gregory say, “Naomi, Monica is Pastor Stokes's wife.”

Briggs paused to hear her response. “Well, why in the world didn't she say so? She just kept badgering me, asking me if I knew where he was. My goodness,” Naomi exclaimed as she turned her exasperated glare toward the reverend's closing door.

Briggs walked into Reverend Gregory's office and picked up the phone and dialed. He took a deep breath and greeted his wife when she answered. “Hi, sweetheart, you were trying to reach me?”

“Where did you go last night?” Monica fussed.

“Nowhere. After we talked, I went to bed.”

“I called you right back, and no one answered. Where were you?” she badgered.

“Oh, right . . . my phone was on vibrate from earlier meetings. That's why I didn't hear the phone ring,” Briggs said, remaining calm during her inquisition.

“Yeah, and where were you this morning? And why isn't your cell on now?”

Briggs held fast to his rising temper. “Monica, I had a breakfast meeting. I cut the phone off during the meeting and forgot to cut it back on. Was there something you needed to tell me?”

“We need at least eighteen hundred square feet of living space,” she said, still harping on their previous conversations of having her own home in Detroit.

“Monica, I'll do what I can, but I won't promise. I'll have to rent what we can afford.”

“It's always money with you. Ask the church to subsidize it. After all, we're doing them a favor coming to bail them out. Stand up, for goodness' sake,” she commanded.

Briggs blew heavily into the air. “Monica, I'm on Reverend Gregory's phone. I'll call you back later.”

Monica continued her tirade. “Briggs, no excuses this time.”

Briggs knew there was no way he was asking the church for more than they had already generously agreed to pay him. Monica wanted her own way at any cost. They couldn't afford half the things they owned. They definitely couldn't afford two homes, not even for a year. After five years of marriage he wanted a family. If they kept living like they were it would never happen.

“I'm going to need you on this one, God,” Briggs prayed.

Minutes passed and Reverend Gregory knocked before entering his office. He folded his arms and watched Briggs pace back and forth in front of his desk.

“Rough time?” Reverend Gregory asked.

“Sort of. You know Monica has her own ideas, and sometimes it's hard to get her to see the other side.”

Reverend Gregory perched at the end of his desk. “Do you guys talk about these things?”

“More like she talks, I listen.”

“Doesn't sound like a good way to live. Maybe it's time to try something new. Like sitting down and learning how to communicate with each other.”

Briggs paused before Reverend Gregory. “You must think we're a piece of work. I may have marital problems, but I hope you know that I am a good pastor.”

“Briggs, everyone faces problems in their lives. It's how we handle them that count. Son, it's not enough to be a good pastor, you must be a godly pastor. That means all of your cares must be laid before the Father, and let Him direct your path.”

“Physician heal thyself? Or better yet, physician, stop trying to heal thyself?”

“Exactly. A man who can heal himself doesn't need God. But those of us who know, we know that He is the way, the truth, and the life. So . . . how about I give you the name of a trusted friend and therapist who can help both of you get all God wants His children to have out of their marriages?”

Briggs rubbed his chin and nodded in agreement. “I've tried to get her to go before, but she was always afraid we would run into someone we knew, and then people would gossip. Maybe being away from home she won't have that fear.”

“That's right, son. But, you can't fix it if you're in two different places. Here's a little wisdom from someone battle scarred, you must make time for your family in ministry. Too many pastors and member's children are in prison, pregnant, or on drugs. It's not because they are bad parents, but this life will take you over if you don't put boundaries around it.” Reverend Gregory clasped Briggs's shoulder. “Now, think on what we talked about and let's get back to work.”

Briggs bent his head in compliance and opened his notepad. “So, the deacon board was receptive. What's next on the agenda?”

Reverend Gregory pulled out his cell and checked his appointment calendar and notes. “The church mothers can be a little stuck in their ways. We need to approach them next. We'll start with Mother Reed; she's the sweetest and a strong pillar of the church. God uses her mightily. We'll visit her later on today.”

“I'm sure everything will be fine,” Briggs said, leaning back in his chair, confident. The church mothers at his home church loved him.

Reverend Gregory shook his head at the arrogance of youth. He decided to share with Briggs what he was getting in the Spirit. “Briggs, I promised I would allow you to do things your own way. But I feel the beginning of danger brewing. The shadows are gathering, and nothing is as it seems. Be vigilant in your prayers; sharpen your spirit of discernment. Soon there will be a heavy rain,” Reverend Gregory paused. “It will storm, and it looks like hurricane quality.”

 

 

“He suspects, he suspects,” Imp One screeched into the ragtag group of underlings.

Imp Two crawled to Imp One's feet. “It does not matter, sir. Your plot cannot be stopped. You have covered every angle. This decaying carcass is strong in pride and ignorance. There is so much he does not know. Soon, the old one will depart, and The Leader's mission can then be fulfilled.”

“You better be right, Imp Two. If wrong, we all burn,” Imp One threatened.

Imp Two crept away, wishing he knew how to pray.

Mother Reed hung up the phone and moseyed her way—she never rushed—to the kitchen where she had a cream cheese pound cake baking in the oven. Her lilting voice floated in the air as she hummed about the goodness of Jesus. Slipping her hands into mittens, she took the cake out of the oven. The golden brown cake was perfect, and she smiled in satisfaction. She untied her apron strings and laid the apron over the back of the chair. Shuffling down the hallway, she stopped and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Today she was feeling well, and it showed in the clarity of her eyes and the smoothness of her face. There were no tense frown lines on her brow, and for that, she was grateful.

“Nobody should have to be old and sick,” she mused out loud when her phone rang.

It was Esther. After a few minutes of conversation, Mother Reed cut to some real talk. “Esther, I'm glad to know you're still speaking to Mother. After our last conversation, I thought you might be a little peeved with me.”

“Oh, I know that you have my best interest at heart, and you gave me some things to look at about myself. I appreciate growth, even when it hurts.”

Mother Reed gripped the phone receiver tight before her arthritis caused her to drop it. “Now that's a sign of maturity. Honey, you gon' be just fine. So what can an old lady do you out of this afternoon?”

“How about a little company?”

Mother Reed smiled. “Well, now, I'm right popular today. Reverend is coming by. How 'bout tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow it is. I'll come by after work.”

“Sounds good. I'll see you then. I'll even save you a piece of my famous pound cake.” Mother Reed knew that would make Esther drool. She loved her some pound cake.

“Did you say pound cake? I'll
definitely
see you tomorrow.”

Mother Reed shuffled toward her living room when her doorbell rang.

“Coming,” she called out.

When she opened the door, Reverend Gregory entered. “Mother Reed, you are looking mighty good this afternoon.”

“Now, Reverend, you trying to charm an old lady?” She looked at Briggs. “Is this handsome young man our temporary pastor?” she beckoned them into her living room.

Briggs offered his hand. “I'm glad to meet you. May I call you Mother Reed?”

“I'd be mad if you didn't. Please, sit down. Tell me a little about yourself.” Mother Reed's anointing was so strong that she sensed the greater purpose of his visit before he spoke.

Briggs's body rocked forward. “Well, I was born and reared in Nashville, Tennessee. My parents raised me to love the Lord and to serve Him. I was called to the ministry after college, but like others, it was difficult for me to accept it. I was twenty-four years old when I embraced and surrendered my life to Him.”

Mother Reed's smile was appreciative. “I like the fact that you didn't tell me who your daddy was, being the big-time preacher that he is. God bless the child who has his own relationship and knows his purpose. So, how can I help y'all?”

Reverend Gregory spoke in plain terms. “Mother, you know that I love my congregation, but I also know them. We can be a staid bunch when we want to, slow to change and to let others in. I'm hoping you meeting Pastor Stokes today will help him later on.”

“I'm glad you didn't try to mince words. So you want my stamp of approval, do you?” Mother Reed cackled with glee.

Reverend Gregory nodded in agreement. “That's about the size of it.”

Mother Reed examined Briggs, and he, in turn, considered her. She nodded her head as though she had made a decision, and then rose to her feet. “Let's all go get us a little taste of cake and punch, while I study on this some more.”

They followed Mother Reed into her large, airy kitchen. She gestured for them to sit as she uncovered the cake and began to cut and lay slices on the small china plates. Reverend Gregory poured punch into the crystal goblets on the table.

As Mother Reed sat down, she spoke. “I don't like my drink in plastic. I like to have a crystal glass to pretty up the picture. There's enough ugliness in the world today. You gentlemen are looking awful nice, sitting here in my little ol' kitchen. Tell you what, Reverend, leave this young man with me for a couple of hours so we can get acquainted.”

Reverend Gregory appeared to like the idea. “That sounds fair. What do you think, Briggs?”

Briggs chewed and swallowed his cake. “I would be honored to stay here and get to know Mother Reed.” In obvious enjoyment, he gobbled up the rest of his cake.

“Well, that's settled then. Mother Reed, this is mighty good cake. You know how to make my mouth water, and some of your baking usually does it,” Reverend Gregory got up to leave and transferred his cake slice onto a paper napkin.

Both Mother Reed and Briggs walked the reverend to the door. Once alone, they returned to the kitchen.

“You ate that pretty quick. Have another slice,” Mother Reed sipped on her punch and looked at him over the rim of her glass. “Well, now, son, anytime you feel like telling me about the lump in the middle of your heart, Mother will be glad to listen.”

Briggs looked up shocked and stared at her in silence. She patiently waited. She was used to God using her in strange ways, and she had learned to stay out of His business and just be obedient. She pulled herself up from the table and placed her glass and plate in the sink. Briggs joined her, filled the other side of the double sink with dishwashing liquid, and ran water into the sink. As it filled and bubbles grew, he told his story.

“So where do I begin?” he asked, shutting off the water, and rolling up his sleeves.

“At the beginning,” she said. She handed him a dishcloth to wash the dishes. Then she sat behind him, giving him the space to tell his tale.

“All right. In my senior year of college, I lost my way for a while. I graduated, but it was tough going. I had a major disappointment and felt rejected because of it. Like the prodigal son, I lived a riotous life. I now realize that my behavior was a direct result of me trying to dull the pain. I was promiscuous, and as a result I . . .” Briggs hesitated in his story.

“I'm not judging you, son, I'm just listening,” Mother Reed prompted.

“I got someone pregnant.” He turned around, waiting to see Mother Reed's reaction.

Mother Reed's countenance held no judgment, and her compassion flowed over him.

Briggs placed the clean plate on the dish rack. “I wasn't stupid. I knew better, but at twenty-three years of age, I thought I was invincible. Nothing bad could happen to me.”

“And . . .” Mother Reed encouraged him to continue.

His shoulders drooped. “I wasn't very supportive when the woman told me. I only thought about how it would effect me. My main concern was how I was going to break it to my parents, especially my father. He had high hopes for me, and I was about to disappoint him.”

“So you . . .” She wanted him to tell it all.

“It was all taken out of my hands. When I realized how selfish I was being, I went to talk to her, but it was too late. She had gotten an abortion. You see, when I first met her I was bowled over by her good looks. She was a runway phenomenon, a top model who hit it pretty big during her teens. She was raking in the money and men vied for her attention. I needed that ego boost when we were together and everyone was trying to get with her and envying me.”

Mother Reed nodded her head that she was listening.

“When she told me about the abortion, it broke me. I tried to talk to her, but she just grumbled and told me I ruined her life. I really hit bottom after that.” Briggs's eyes filled with tears.

Mother Reed was still and prayed that he would have the strength to tell it all. “What God reveals, He means to heal,” she encouraged.

Briggs sighed. “I went on a partying binge, ended up losing my job, and couldn't half pay my bills. It was a full year of a downward spiral. One day after partying all Saturday night, I woke up face down in my own vomit. It was not a pretty sight. That's when I heard the radio in the background, my R&B station had changed to gospel during the morning, and a minister was preaching his Sunday sermon. He was expounding on all men falling short of the glory of God, and that we as black men needed to get up and not stay in our fallen state. Our families and community needed us.”

“Yes, that's right,” she added in agreement.

“So I got up, washed up, and then cleaned up. I didn't answer the call that morning, but it was the beginning.”

“So, I ask again about the lump in your heart,” Mother Reed urged with kindness.

Briggs looked at this feisty petite powerhouse who was like a dog with a bone. He cleared his throat and continued. “When I realized the damage I'd done, I went back to those I had offended to beg their pardon. The list was long, but I got through it. In my attempt to make amends, I began dating the woman that I had gotten pregnant. She was still a hot commodity, and I misunderstood my euphoria of having her temporarily on my arm with the reality of having her permanently in my life. In trying to make matters better, I muddied the waters. That's the lump you see in my heart.”

Briggs didn't feel it was right to tell her that in trying to make amends, he had married the woman without loving her, and that was what Monica had never forgiven. He was doing penance for his unborn child and the child's mother.

“Son, deliverance is close for you. I'm glad you were open enough to speak your heart. It doesn't matter who is around. When God wants to move, He always does it with decency and in order. You're safe here.”

Briggs nodded his head and began to cry, sobbing out his misery. Mother Reed lifted her hands in prayer. She waited until he quieted before she said, “Son, look at me. I need to share something with you.”

Briggs was embarrassed by his display of emotions, but he had been strong for so long that when he felt his release, the floodgates opened and he couldn't push them back. It had been so difficult for him, his father appeared invincible, and all the men of God around him looked infallible. Where was he to turn with his pain?

“You're suffering the weight of rain,” she said simply.

Briggs was an intelligent man, but he didn't understand. “The weight of rain?”

“Yes, ya see, when the storms of life rain down on you, they're heavy. So heavy that we start to think that the weight is all we have to look forward to. When that happens, we make decisions from a place of desperation. In most cases, that causes a bigger mess, and the rain gets heavier.”

“How do you get out of it?” he asked, seeking answers.

“You don't. What you do is get under the wing of our Father; there is refuge there. And although the rain keeps coming, you're protected, until He sends the rainbow. And when the weight of the rain has lifted, you get to reign. Don't get inpatient during the wait.”

Briggs complained. “But the pain makes me feel weak and ineffective.”

“Chile, don't let the devil fool you. Cast that fool right out of ya head. Your pain doesn't make you less than, it means you still feeling, still living with an open heart. But it's time for a change, and you have to be tired of something to change it. Mother is so happy to see you coming out of the old and embracing the new. I don't know you so well in the flesh, but in the spirit, I see it. Listen . . . The revelation of a truth may be a bitter pill to swallow, but the effect of the antibiotics is sure to cure the disease. Don't run away from truth; stay in it, and get healed from the scars of deception and the fear of exposure.”

Mother Reed stood and placed her hand on Briggs's shoulder. “You know you can lose your mind waiting for your lie to be discovered. Let truth illuminate the darkness, and let the rays of that light bring life to what was once dead. You will find that your burdens will be light and your yoke easy if you just believe in truth. Truth teaches and frees you. Understand that truth brings along its partner in healing—mercy. Together, they destroy the plans of the enemy, turning the tables, making crooked roads straight. You know what? When truth leads you and is the center stone of your life, you gon' be so awesome that the devil is gon' shout . . .” Mother Reed said as she broke into a two-step in her kitchen. She then danced over and pulled meat out of the refrigerator and items out of the cabinets.

Briggs looked at Mother Reed in astonishment. He now knew that he stayed this afternoon for him, not for her. This wonderful woman already knew a lot about him, and flesh and blood did not reveal it. Would she still want someone in his shape to lead Love Zion's congregation? A man who loved his wife, but was never in love with her?

Consequently, he had erected a lie that they were both caught in. Monica's bitterness was present every day, making sure that he paid for failing to give her the love and kind of life she felt she deserved. She had given up a promising career to be his wife. And she never let him forget it. How could he change things around so that the lie they were both living could become the truth that they both needed? He looked to Mother Reed hoping she had the answers.

“Pastor, don't look at Mother like she walks on water. I'm just me, an instrument God chose to use to help set you free. You do have work to do in your life, but I also feel that a man who has been through something has something to offer. Trials and tribulations make us strong; they are the molding of us. I don't want no man leading me who ain't faced a trial or two in his life.”

“Amen, to that,” Briggs echoed.

“So I suggest we get to work talking a little bit more about all that you've been holding back. While you do that, I'm going to season and flour these pork chops, heat up this frying pan and get us a little supper. Would you like that?”

“Yes, and I want to thank you for allowing the Lord to use you. Somewhere along the way I stopped talking about the real problems in my life. Oh, not that I appeared perfect. I discussed church issues, things relating to wanting to be a better man of God, but not the real things that were going on in my life. You know, a lot of it was due to shame. If I let people know my life wasn't perfect why would they want me to help them with theirs?”