The Devil We Don't Know (13 page)

I am in contact with several people who left the Islamic faith and either became atheists or converted to Christianity and who still live in Muslim countries, ranging from Morocco to Malaysia and everywhere in between—Egypt, Syria, Bahrain, Iraq, Jordan, and Pakistan. All of them have kept their rejection of Islam a secret, except for three pioneering individuals in Egypt who are now on the run. They have challenged the legal system that criminalizes apostasy. They are Naglaa Al Imam, Mohammad Higazy, and Maher Al Gohary. Like many others, they have been beaten and tortured in Egyptian jails, but when Amnesty International and other human rights groups questioned the Egyptian government about their situation, they were let go. Al Imam tried to get U.S. and Canadian visas to leave the country but was rejected, Higazy is in hiding, and Al Gohary eventually managed to escape from Egypt with his daughter.

I receive a good number of e-mails from secret apostates across the Middle East who plead with me to help them get out. I want to honor these people by mentioning what they wrote but without revealing their identities. Most of these e-mails came to me in English, and I translated some that were sent in Arabic:

Pakistan: “Please help me, I've got to get out! I'm a Muslim and I left Islam and please, brothers, help me out from the prison of Pakistan.”

Morocco: “What you predicted happened to me. I was attacked with serious injuries, stabbed by several men on the street who shouted at me “Kafir,” they definitely wanted me dead. I still wonder how they knew that I was an apostate! Maybe they saw me befriending Christians or perhaps I left my computer open on my job. I am lying in my hospital bed and the doctors told me that I was lucky to have survived. During my interview with the police I did not mention that my attackers called me “Kafir,” for fear the police themselves will take notice and finish me off. I desperately want to get out but cannot leave till I am healed.”

Malaysia: “Can I keep my real name a secret? I also renounced Islam. I converted into Islam in 2009 because I had a relationship with a Muslim man and converted because I was afraid to lose him, but he dumped me anyway. I really don't know what to do! I felt so stupid and full of anger. Then I realized that I was wrong to convert into Islam and I decided to go back to being Christian. I wanted to confess it to the officials, but I was afraid. I don't know where to turn to. So I decided to do it quietly. I still wore a headscarf when I went to work. When my friends asked me to join them for prayer, I gave excuses like I'm having my menstrual cycle. I was so devastated because I really wanted to tell everyone that I don't want to be a Muslim anymore. I couldn't focus on my work. I felt like I was going crazy. In the end, I decided that I couldn't continue living in lies like this anymore. Early 2010, I made my confessions at the Department of Religious Affairs. I wanted to make my renouncing of Islam official. But I was turned down. You can check into hotel Islam anytime, but you can never check out.”

India: “I am Khalid from India. I am a member of a hard-line Muslim group (a well known terror group that I had to join for my security) and they don't know that I hate Islam because if anyone knows I will be dead. I love Israel and believe that it is the best country in the world. Sir, so please guide me to how to serve Israel from here in India. A servant of Israel.”

Somalia: “I am a former Muslim from Somalia. I want to express my thoughts and opinions about my journey and horrible ideology of Islam, but I cannot due to my safety. How can Former Muslims help us? In other words, if I/we cannot refute and criticize Islam without hiding, how is it possible to come out and reveal the destructive nature of Islam? We cannot survive like that pretending to be Muslims, pray and act like Muslims when we are not.”

Saudi Arabia: “I must be extremely careful not to use my real name. I am originally from Saudi Arabia and have family in the Gulf. I am currently in the USA and terribly afraid to go back. I have converted to Christianity and ever since I have become Christian, I started having brotherly feelings towards all non-Muslims.”

United Arab Emirates: “Nonie, God bless you very much. I read some of your words to the Jewish and American people, and I love what God is doing with your life. This is my story: My parents were from Egypt but I was born in the United Arab Emirates. I was born as a Muslim. . . . I grew up filled with hatred and revenge. . . . I was waiting for the time when I could sacrifice myself in the name of Allah. . . . [A]ctually my name in Arabic means Self-Sacrifice and was given to me by a Palestinian nurse who worked at the hospital where my mother gave birth to me. I was waiting for a chance to explode myself . . . killing MILLIONS of the infidels Jews and Christians. . . . it would be nice if I could explode myself many times to kill more as my Allah desired. But thanks to God. I never got the chance; until Jesus came into my life . . . but to acknowledge Jesus into my life is what I can never dare do. It is OK to kill evil infidels, but I can never know Jesus. My religion told me I could live as a time bomb. It's very simple; just study the Koran, and try to hear Allah's voice to kill. Anyway, when the September 11, 2001, terrorist attack happened, I was working as an air-hostess for an Arab Airline. I was shocked to see the massive killing of innocents' lives. And the funny thing, that was my dream to kill. . . . [B]ut Jews . . . not Americans . . . because I loved America and Michael Jackson! But the way the aircrafts hit and exploded in the two towers . . . the way they collapsed . . . it was horrific. . . . [T]he hand of Allah is seen . . . Allah is working, killing, and shedding blood. . . . I was very angry with Allah. I was thinking about the airline hostesses who knew that they would die in seconds. The people of America lived with security, peace, and freedom until the ugly hands of the greatest crafty deceiver (as Allah calls himself in the Koran). This is how we Muslims are programmed, to see the dark side of life. That's when my life changed. Now I do not have to hate, take revenge, kill, and destroy with no mercy all the infidels . . . etc. . . . Islam is not a religion . . . actually . . . it is a political plan. When I told my family about the changes that happened to me, they rejected me and I had to run away. I went to Greece and met a Christian man, but no church dared to marry us because they were afraid of Muslims. Finally, we found one brave priest who married us. Now God put in my heart much love for the JEWISH people. Every time I hear the news I get sick. There are too many lies about them . . . hatred . . . revenge. The world and Americans need to know the truth about Islam. . . , we need to help the Jewish people. I am blessed to find the truth. Thank you, Nonie, my Christian name now is Maria.”

Iran: “My name is———and I am a former Muslim and an atheist from Iran. I am 28 and I have been pretending to be a Muslim for many years now (because you know what the penalty of apostasy is!). Even when I travel outside of Iran I am still terrified of saying I left Islam. Do you think that it is safe when I am in the US to say that I am not a Muslim anymore? There are many threats even outside of Iran, but I am really tired of pretending.”

United States: Dear Nonie, I read
Now They Call Me Infidel
and was truly touched. I desperately need your advice. I am 26 years old, female, live in the US, an engineer and have a good job. I too no longer believe in Islam but my family, Muslims from Jordan, insist that I can only marry a Muslim man and arranged for me to go meet him in Lebanon. I am desperate, and as you probably know we Arabs must live at home till we marry, so I still live at home, and my relationship with my brothers and mother is very tense, to say the least. I must leave home, since I can no longer function even at my work, am depressed, and can't find support or anyone to talk to.”

Yemen: “Miss Nonie, I was rejected to get scholarship to America. Those who were picked by the government were the radical Muslims. Meanwhile, students like me who are not radical are not getting many opportunities. I cannot live like that any more.”

Algeria: “I am an Algerian man who left Islam and afraid to stay in my country. I seek the Israeli nationality.”

Malaysia: “I am from Kuala Lumpur. Life is miserable and confused in the Muslim world. I cannot be a Muslim any more. I wish I could be in your position, because you finally migrated to the US and became free. I can't get the visa to America. I was very disappointed. Living in the Muslim world is quite difficult because you feel that people are always watching you for anything that might be wrong or bad against Islam. I don't understand why such radical Muslims want to kill each other and kill the infidels and blame everything on the Jews!”

Iraq: “I am from Iraq and hope to befriend Israelis and go live there because I am no more a Muslim. How can I get the visa, we do not have embassy?”

Afghanistan: “I am 23 years old from Afghanistan. I am Muslim, but I am tired of Islam. I want to see Israel and I want agreement Yahood [which means Jews] religion. Sorry I can't speak and typing English well. Please help me I want to have nationality Israeli.”

Libya: “I am libyan guy. I'm not free in libya. I know more nice news about Israel. I wish leave libya to Israel but its so hard. I need help me how I can go to freedom country (Israel). I am 32 years mechanical engineer.”

Pakistan: “Please help me, I am 22 years old Muslim from Pakistan, I want to marry with a Jewish girl/woman (widow/divorced) from any country because I want that my children should be Jew by birth.”

West Bank: “I was born Muslim Palestinian, but I came to realize the lies and the grand deceit of the Muslim faith. I believe and trust the Living God of Israel, and there are no other gods.”

It is sad to say that most of the desperate former Muslims who live in the Middle East are unable to get a U.S. visa. One educated physical therapist who spoke excellent English called me recently to tell me that his visa request to the United States has been rejected. He said that while waiting at the U.S. embassy, he noticed that a number of bearded Muslim Brotherhood types had been approved, and some of them even had marriage contracts with American women. He told me he was scared for America and wondered how such Islamists were allowed to go to the United States and he could not.

I have also been contacted by several apostates born and raised in the United States or Europe, who have converted into and then out of Islam. These once ordinary Americans have also received threats and are scared. It is estimated that about three-quarters of Americans who convert to Islam eventually leave it after a year or two. This is what one American woman told to me about leaving Islam: “I wore the Islamic garb with a sense of pride and defiance. The initial enjoyment of my Muslim husband's attention soon turned into resentment of his total control of everything I did. In the mosque I noticed that I could not touch certain topics or feel at ease asking questions. Self-censorship soon crept into my mind. But when I developed the courage to ask, I often received misleading answers. I was told that Islam honors women, but when I asked about the commandment to men to beat their wives, I was told that this is just a misunderstanding and misinterpretation of the Koran and that it really meant that men cannot hurt their wives. When I asked about the commandment to kill those who leave Islam and non-Muslims, I was told that Allah's wisdom does not necessarily appear to us humans and that Allah never commanded violence against anyone and that what I hear is a lie. I found myself asking questions in my mind but not verbalizing them to others in the mosque. How can a god say something but really mean something else? And how can He make a statement in one verse, then say the opposite in another?”

That woman, who is now a friend of mine, has left Islam and her Muslim husband and has gone back to her family and community after years of fear and threats. The death sentence for apostasy is in the early stages of creeping into American society. We must never allow it to infect the United States with the devastating tyranny it wields in other parts of the world.

Most Muslims in the West claim that Americans must not judge Islam by the fringe actions of terrorists. Western Muslims call terrorists “not true Muslims” or say that they “hijacked Islam.” Yet this argument is disingenuous because Muslim society and governments are perfectly capable of stopping such “fringe” activities in the same way they are capable of stopping apostates. Claims that Muslim society is unable to suppress terrorist groups seem unrealistic and hypocritical, especially when compared to its ability to crush and subdue any Muslim who wants to leave Islam. If Muslim society treated its terrorists the same way it treats apostates, the world would have no Islamic terrorism problem.

On one hand, violent jihadists inside the Muslim world are running around organizing themselves and are unafraid of anyone, neither official Islamic leadership or ordinary Muslim citizens on the street. Islamic governments rarely threaten their lives, unless they turn against the government itself. Terrorists are treated as good Muslims. On the other hand, apostates are treated as if they have committed treason against Islam. While apostates are never allowed to form organizations or congregate, terrorists have offices all across the Muslim world and under fictitious names in the West. Something is very wrong with this picture, and it does not reflect well on Islam.

Some apostates try to solve the dilemma of Islam by trying to positively affect their Islamic communities. Keeping their apostasy a secret, they try to reform Islam from within, while they secretly do not believe in it. Although their intentions are good and arise out of genuine love for Muslim people around the world, their arguments often ignore reality. I know several of them in the United States and the Middle East. Their viewpoint doesn't make sense when they say, “We must find a way out for 1.2 billion Muslims by reforming Islam for them even though we do not believe in it.” Articles are written that are critical of their logic, such as one about an “Islamic reformer who detests Islam.” They continue insisting that Islam is so entrenched in many communities around the world, and they took it upon themselves to reform it, even though they no longer believe in it. I respect their efforts, but I find it difficult to believe that the reformation of Islam will come at the hands of secret apostates, who deep down in their belief system have disdain and anger toward Islam. Despite their efforts, most of them are accused of apostasy anyway.