The Devil's Reprise (21 page)

Dawn. Dawn was in there. She was being buried alive.

I got to my feet, not noticing, the sharp pains in my heart, the panic and the terror that had its cold fucking grip on my throat. Max pulled me back. He kept me in place. Soon ambulances had arrived, and rescue workers and throngs of people had gathered around the area, watching the scene, shaking their heads. None of them noticed us off to the side. They probably thought it was some kind of sinkhole.

“They have to know what happened,” I choked out to Max. “We have to tell them she’s down there. That Jacob’s there. They might be still alive.” But I could see in his expression that there was no point. They weren’t alive.

I still waited, though. I wouldn’t give up hope. I wouldn’t just forget that the two most important people in my life were ripped away from me by Lucifer himself. So I waited and I waited, all through the night, until one rescue accidently fell down through the earth and landed in the cavern, on top of a pile of bones. He saw a female hand sticking out of it.

Dawn was brought out of the rubble at dawn, just as the sun was breaking pink over the river. Her body was lifeless. Her soul somewhere else. Even in death, she was beautiful.

I’d never wanted anything more than to see her take a breath, to see her eyes open, to see her come to life. But no matter how hard I stared at her, even when they took Jacob’s body out of the ground, it never happened.

They were both gone.

Forever.

So much death in my life over the years, and I still couldn’t handle how finite it was.

The concept of forever. The concept of never.

Max put his hand on my shoulder. It took all my self-control to not lose it on him, to not scream at him for screwing up and putting her life in danger. I wished he fucking left me in that crypt to be buried with her.

“If I know Jacob,” he said gravely as we watched them put the bodies in the back of the emergency vehicle, “he’ll try and make her suffer less.”

“I wished he’d taken me.” I swallowed painfully. “I would have given them my soul for hers.”

“We all knew that,” Max answered. “But that shouldn’t have been your choice to make.”

And so it was. Real, terribly real and not real all at the same time. I knew I was numb, in shock, as much as I could be. I knew that the reality would soon sink in. The truth. That they were dead. And when it did, it would take over my life. It would reduce me to grieving until the end of time.

I closed my eyes to the scene. I turned around. Max and I went back to the hotel.

I left my heart somewhere in that crypt.

Dawn

When I was thirteen years old and really getting into barrel racing, I had a pretty bad accident. I fell off Moonglow just as we were making our final turn during a training session. She lost her footing and pitched to the side. I went flying into the barrel, my shoulder cracking against it, Moonglow falling onto my leg. I felt no pain at the impact, but I wasn’t unconscious. I just went to another place. A place of white light and weightlessness and euphoric thoughts. A place where nothing bad could happen, even though it seemed the worse already had. I always looked back on that moment and thought I had a near-death experience, that I went to some sort of heaven or afterworld and that I was sent back because my time wasn’t up yet. Apparently it was just my brain, trying to save itself from damage, trying to repair itself and protect me. That place did not exist.

I knew that now, because where I was was not like that place. There was no weightlessness, no white light, no feelings of love. Where I was had grey skies and grey earth and a world devoid of color. It was a place where giant bats with veiny, transparent wings flew overhead, where the ground at your feet had teeth and roaming eyes, where your body felt like it was weighted with a ball and chain.

This was the Thin Veil. I had guessed that much.

And I was dead. I figured that out, too, when the bones came crashing down on me, taking the image of Sage away from my eyes and filling them with dust and bone and blackness.

I looked beside me to see Jacob in grainy black-and-white, like we were in a vintage movie. He looked grim. I’m sure I looked grim, too.

“The Thin Veil?” I asked him.

Yes
, he answered, and I wasn’t surprised that he didn’t have to open his mouth for me to hear him.
The infamous veil. Isn’t it lovely?

I looked around us. It looked like we were still in Prague, but the streets were completely empty. The gargoyles on the buildings were living creatures, fluttering their wings and sharpening their claws on the stone around them. Like the horrific faces coming out of the ground, the tiny finger that was wriggling up out of the soil near my foot, they all seemed focused on me.

You’ve been here often,
I noted.
Does anything actually live here? Is this where I have to be? Forever?

He gave me a loaded look.
Some beings do live here. Those who don’t move on to where they are supposed to go. You could try to stay here. But I don’t think they would let it slide. Other people, who cares. But you? Dawn, they want you more than anything. They want that beautiful life force, that soul of yours. They will drag you to Hell if they can.

Even though I was dead, I still felt fear. Endless fear. The finger at my foot was now becoming a hand of rotting flesh, reaching for me. As calmly as I could, I stepped out of the way.
I don’t even think I could stay here if I wanted to.

Oh, believe me, love,
Jacob said.
Hell is much worse.

So where do you go?
I asked. I noticed a few of the giant bats had landed on the rooftops nearby, their giant wings folded. They stared at me with shiny button eyes.

Go?
He asked.
I suppose I’ll find out.

You don’t have to stay here on account of me,
I said.

Dawn,
he said with a smirk
. As much as I wouldn’t leave you, I don’t have a choice in this matter. I’m dead.

I jerked my head in shock.
Dead?

He nearly rolled his eyes.
Well, I’m not bloody immortal, am I? Though now I’m thinking the whole going-rogue thing was a really poor choice for me.

I couldn’t have felt worse.
I’m sorry.

He shrugged, though I could tell it pained him.
It’s not your fault, love. You are worth the sacrifice.

Well, I was worth it.

He shot me a look.
No, you still are. This isn’t over yet.

You’re right, it isn’t,
came the rough and oozing voice of Lucifer from behind us.

Jacob and I slowly turned around until we were facing him. Now he didn’t look like the man I saw before on earth. Now he was a naked old man of all lean muscle and no skin. He had sharp spikes coming out of the bottoms of his feet and palms, and it was these spikes that he walked on all fours, his body sinking down so that he carried himself like a spider. Long straggly hair was growing out of his thinning head, and his entrails were hanging out of his rib cage. His glowing neon eyes were still there, now white instead of yellow, and boring into me like a drill.

The spider thing walked toward us, guts swaying like udders, his movements jagged and sporadic.

There was nothing more terrifying. I wondered if this is what he really looked like or if he could just look like whatever would make you afraid. If so, he was winning.

Why are we here?
Jacob asked, apparently unfazed by this thing that seemed conjured up from my own nightmares.
Why didn’t you take her straight to Hell?

Perhaps I wanted to tease her,
the spider thing said.
Make her think she has a way out.

She’s already dead
, Jacob said, and I could hear the frustration in his voice.
What more can you give her?

I can bring her back
, he said. Jacob cocked his head at that, and the spider thing went on,
no strings attached. I can give Dawn life again, free from me, free from the contract. If you do something for me, Jacob.

No!
I automatically said, but Jacob raised his hand to shush me.

What do you want?
Jacob asked calmly.

All this time that you’ve been around, Jacob, you’ve been a real thorn in my side. All of you Jacobs have been, since the dawn of time. But you? You’re persistent. You’ve put me to shame more times than I care to recall.

Because I’m a damn good manager
, Jacob said.

That you are. I’m not so small as to not admit that. But, really, my job, my role in this world is a lot easier without you around.

Well, as you can see, I’m dead, you bloody twat. I’m not really around, am I?

Any other time I would have taken some joy, whatever joy remained in my life, at the fact that Jacob just called the Prince of Darkness a bloody twat.

Suddenly the building in front of us erupted into orange flames, and in the middle of the flames, a black swirling hole slowly formed. The bats flew up from the roofs and flew into the flames, disappearing. It looked to be a whole other world in there, an infinite one of death and darkness.

You may be dead,
he said, words sounding like scuttling insects,
but your soul is not coming with me. However, I’m open to an exchange. You come with me to Hell and I’ll let Dawn go. She’ll wake up back in Prague in fine form. And so as long as she doesn’t call on me again, she won’t see me again.

No, no, no, no.

I didn’t even have time to voice this. Jacob was already taking my hand in his and squeezing it.
This is what I wanted, love,
he said.
And if it hadn’t been me there first, it would have been Sage giving himself for you. No one should have to give their life for you, but if it’s going to be anyone, it’s going to be me. I had a good run. I had many good runs. I have had a lot to…make up for. This time I won’t fail.

No!
I cried out.

Dawn, you’ve got so much to live for. You’ve gone through too much to deserve this kind of ending. You didn’t remember the deal, even though it was made. This is what is fair. You need to go in your life. Get married. Live where there’s sunshine. Have children. Keep listening to music.

Tears spilled from my eyes. Though the idea of life, the idea of being saved from eternal damnation was more than I could have hoped for, I did not want Jacob to sacrifice his soul for mine.

Please
, I pleaded,
there has to be another way.

This is the only way
, the spider thing said. It smiled, wriggling teeth like tiny worms.
And I don’t need your permission, either. Never forget that there are forces in this world more powerful than you. If you do, I’ll be right back there to remind you.

I clutched Jacob’s hand hard, wanting to hold him. He couldn’t do this for me. I couldn’t let him.

But he kissed me softly on the forehead and wrestled his hand out of mine.

Take care of Sage,
he said.
And if you ever want to do me a favor, play me some Hybrid some day. That band, my Sage…they were my crown jewel. And so were you.
A tremor of fear flashed across his eyes, but Jacob—wonderfully crass, bossy, brave Jacob—walked away, straight toward the flames, toward the swirling black ink in the middle. The spider thing walked after him, a tk-tk-tk sound of spikes on stone. It threw one last look back at me. It smiled again, in pure satisfaction.

I screamed and ran after Jacob, unable to just let it go. But my cries didn’t get very far, and neither did I. He and the spider thing disappeared into nothing, and I was suddenly sucked back, flying through the air until everything around me blurred in a tunnel of light and sound.

I thought I heard Jacob one last time. He was crying.

Sage

I hadn’t slept for three days, so when I saw the woman standing outside the hotel room window, lit up by the street lamp, I immediately thought of Angeline. I thought of the ways I was going to murder her. I thought of the ways that I’d get caught and thrown into a Czech prison and how the death that would surely follow would be preferable to the pain I was going through now.

The pain. It was all coming back to me with each hour upon each hour. The loss of my mother, the loss of Hybrid, the loss of Dawn, of Jacob.

I’d lost everything.

Even the me inside.

I was just an empty shell.

And we were stuck in fucking Prague because of the weather, none of us able to get a flight out, which meant we were all stuck in the hotel, dying inside of grief and anger and just fucking everything. I know it wasn’t just me, either—I know Tricky was being eaten up and I know Max was taking everything especially hard. But I couldn’t even feel for them because there was nothing left in me to feel. When Dawn died, I was left with nothing but pain in my chest and empty dreams that would never, ever be fulfilled.

So the sight of Angeline made my fists curl, my blood boil. It made me want to leave the hotel for the first time in days. It made me feel something, and I guess I had to be grateful for that.

I slipped on my shoes and ran out of the hotel and into the wind and rain, my legs weak and shaking from not really being used for days.

There she was, just standing across the street in the rain. Her hair frizzing wildly from the rain, glowing red under the light.

Wait.

She turned around as my pace slowed to approach her.

It was Dawn, a bewildered look on her face, her hair waving around her head like an auburn halo, a soaked, blue hospital gown on her frame.

I cried out and fell to my knees.

Oh, God, please let this be real.

“Sage,” she said quietly, hand to her chest, looking down at me like she couldn’t believe her eyes.

I could only stare up at her, my knees drowning in a puddle as the rain fell down on me, matting my hair to my forehead.

“Angel?” I cried.

She smiled as if she had been hit with sunshine. “Sage!” She ran to me and went to her knees, too, joining me on the cold, hard ground. I reached for her, feeling her face, trailing my finger over her nose, her brows, her cheekbones, her lips. This was her, wasn’t it? This was her, back from the dead?

She clung to me with greedy fists, and I wrapped my arms around her, and we cried into each other as the rain fell. I couldn’t even be mad if this wasn’t real—this was heaven on earth. This was a second chance, a second look at love, at life.

We held each other like that—tight, needy, insatiable, just trying to steal comfort in the night—until Max was at our side, trying to help us to our feet. I’d never seen the fucker smile so wide. He helped us both inside the hotel and up to my room. I’d left it as a tomb of death and sorrow, but now the dawn was breaking in.

Once we got Dawn out of her wet gown and into her pajamas, piling her with heavy blankets and pillows and warm cider and brandy, she told us what had happened, from the beginning. How she felt compelled to leave with Sonja and Alva, that she felt like giving up. But Jacob was there in no time, following them all the way to the crypt, which was apparently a portal, a place where the walls to the other worlds were thin and it would be easiest to take her. She explained what she saw in the Veil, how Jacob was with her, and how, in the end, he sacrificed his life for hers.

I’m not ashamed to admit a few tears leaked out over that. Yeah, men cry sometimes. Men cry when their lives are ripped away and then given back to them. Men cry when the person that was more like a father than their own father is gone. They cry when they know the incredible, unimaginable horrors that their loved one is facing for all eternity. And they cry when they get the love of their life back.

I kept Dawn’s soft hand in mine as she told us how she woke up in the hospital, in the morgue. How she banged on the cold, metal door until they let her out. How they wanted to run tests on her, study her, report on her. How no one spoke English and no one could connect her to a “Sage Knightly” because only Mr. Underhill was registered at hotels. How she escaped from her room, dazed and disoriented from the drugs, and found her way back here, found her way back to me.

I kissed her hand, still not believing it, still afraid to. She had my heart again and again and again.

“What can we do for Jacob?” Dawn asked quietly, her voice hoarse from talking so much. “Is there anything?”

Max ran his hand along his jaw, thinking. Finally he said, “There might be. I’m a free agent now. I served the contract. I managed. And Jacob saved you. I could maybe start over on a new life, a new task…to get him back.”

“Is that possible?” I asked.

He nodded. “I can surely try. It won’t bring him back alive, but I reckon I can save his soul. In fact, I know I can. Jacob must have known what he was doing.”

That was little comfort for my tour manager, but we would have to survive on that. On the hope that his sacrifice wasn’t the end.

Because it wasn’t the end for us. It was the beginning.

When Max finally left the room, I got under the covers with Dawn, relishing the feeling of her skin beneath my hands, this gorgeous second chance.

I took in a deep breath, gazing intently into her eyes. “Dawn, when I thought I lost you…what really got me the most, what really killed me deep inside, was what else I’d lost. I’d lost time with you. I’d lost moments I’d never used. Moments to tell the truth.” My heart swelled, my pulse quickening as I leaned in and kissed her softly, sweetly, slowly. Here it went. “Dawn Emerson. I fucking love you. I. Love. You. You are my reprise, my encore, my finale. You’re every single note wrapped up in the world’s most beautiful package. My love for you sings, and it’s a song that will never stop playing. It will play through our deaths and beyond that. And this I know.”

Her eyes welled with tears, and they spilled over her freckled cheeks in rivers. I kissed through their salt, kissed the life back into her. I kissed away the sadness and the loss.

I kissed her until we both began to thaw. I let my hands roam all over her body like she was a fragile ghost, something I couldn’t believe was in my hands, something that felt like a waking dream. I slowly took off her clothes, peeling them away until I could see her softness exposed underneath. I let my mouth savor her, to completely take her in. She warmed my heart, filled the places inside where I’d grown so lost and cold over the last few days.

I entered her slowly, both of us not caring about a condom this time, embracing the idea of life, love, soul.

We came together, hearts and bodies and souls joined as one.

And we were saved.