The Disneyland Book of Secrets 2014: One Local's Unauthorized, Rapturous and Indispensable Guide to the Happiest Places on Earth (189 page)

Which makes it all the stranger
that
Paradise Pier
would open with traditional pay-to-play midway games–but it did.  At
DCA
’s original
Games of the Boardwalk
, Guests were asked to slap down dollars for generic carnival experiences like tossing baseballs at clowns and rolling little skee balls to make their horse race faster in a miniature steeplechase.

I remember the first time I saw
Games of the Boardwalk
.  It was 2006 and my first-ever visit to the resort and the park. 
Paradise Pier
’s dreamlike skyline and gleaming
Paradise Bay
had charmed me, but the deeper we ventured into the land, the more ambivalent I grew.  The texture of boardwalk planks under our shoes gave an impressive, almost subliminal authenticity to the atmosphere of an old-time seaside fun park, but as we approached the
Games of the Boardwalk
, it suddenly felt a little
too
authentic.

The
Games of the Boardwalk
were tucked away under a stretch of the
California Screamin’
coaster tracks, literally recessed in shadow.  Each was enclosed in its own little structure, its own shady cave.  Guests stood at a counter and rolled skeeballs or threw baseballs–whatever was required at that particular booth.

The moment Guest
s took their place at the counter, they might as well have been at Santa Monica Pier or the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk.  The games weren’t themed to classic
Disney
characters or tales; there was scarcely an atom of
Disney
flavor to the experience.

The theming was all about California and seaside fun parks, part of
DCA
’s original, incomplete vision that shut out
Disney
characters.  There was only one indirect nod to
Disney
:
The
Disney’s Angels in the Outfield
softball throwing game that was a blatant pitch (pardon the pun) for
Disney
’s
Angels in the Outfield
movie which had been released in 1994, and the baseball team the
Anaheim Angels
which
Disney
had purchased in 1997.

The other games had nothing to do with
Disney
, other than almost unnoticeable and nonsensical references (one of the
Cowhuenga Pass
cows was named
Belle
, for example).  The games included the
Boardwalk Bowl
(skeeball),
Cowhuenga Pass
(milk can game),
Dolphin Derby
(skeeball-driven racing game),
New Haul Fishery
(fishing game),
San Joaquin Volley
(softball tossing), and
Shore Shot
(basketball toss). 
Boardwalk Bowl
,
Dolphin Derby
, and
Shore Shot
(originally called
Redondo Beach Ball
) bore names related to the seaside. 
Cowhuenga Pass
,
New Haul Fishery
, and
San Joaquin Volley
all punned on California place names (Cahuenga, Newhall, and San Joaquin Valley, respectively).

It was so divorced from
Disney
–from its mythology and its ethos and its values–as to be almost surreal.  I put down a couple of dollars and threw baseballs at the clowns, all the while feeling as if I were indeed at Santa Monica,
magically
teleported out of the
Disneyland Resort
.

U
pon leaving the
Games of the Boardwalk
, Guests proceeding east to west around the bay ran slap into the grotesque, blaring sideshow signage of the
Boardwalk
’s shops.  To paraphrase Dorothy’s famous line from “The Wizard of Oz,” “Toto, I don’t think we’re at the
Disneyland Resort
anymore.”  The problem?  We were!

When
Disney
committed to overhauling
Paradise Pier
, it was clear that the
Games of the Boardwalk
were among the features that needed substantial surgery, and they were among the first attractions to be improved.  Because of their relative simplicity and small size in comparison to other attractions, it was easy enough to obtain a budget and a plan for making them more palatable to resort Guests and more relevant to
Disney
.  Hidden behind tall fences for months, they finally emerged in spring of 2009.

The result was
positive.  The new
Games
are housed in attractive booths, painted in pale, soothing colors.  This is an extension of the vintage resort architecture of nearby
Toy Story Midway Mania!
, the classic style that has unified the entire
Pier
district.

The
Games
’ signs are brightly colored to draw attention, but elegantly lettered and tasteful.  According to the signs, the
Games
are now being run by the
Paradise Pier Amusement Co.
and promise Guests “Mechanical Marvels of the Modern Age.”  The counters looked new and scrupulously clean.

These
are hyperreal, idealized renderings of midway games.  These are wholesome games that the characters of “Meet Me in St. Louis” might have played at the 1904 St. Louis World’s Fair as idealized in Vincent Minnelli’s ravishingly tinted valentine to that halcyon time in American history.

Of course, the most obvious and most important change
to the
Games of the Boardwalk
is that every game has been themed to a
Disney
character and story.  The horse racing game no longer calls to mind images of seedy racetracks and cigar-chomping bookies; it’s now a wholesome, cartoonish race at the
Bullseye Stallion Stampede
.  Guests can go fishing with
Goofy
at
Goofy About Fishin’
(where all Guests win at least a small prize), make a clown fireman scramble up a ladder at
Dumbo’s Bucket Brigade
, or test their pitching skills at
Casey at the Bat
.

Each booth contains painted characters and murals in the vintage style of the characters and films they reference. 
Dumbo
, with little
Timothy
perched in his hat, looks on as you race your circus clown up the ladder. 
Goofy
is fishing in a forested lake; true to form, he thinks he’s hooked a big fish but he’s actually hooked the back of his own fishing britches!  Magnificently muscled, lantern-jawed baseball hero
Casey
looms above the catchers at which you aim, just daring you to strike him out.

Although
Bullseye
the horse was created relatively recently, first appearing in
Disney-Pixar
’s 1999 film
Toy Story 2
, according to his back story
Bullseye
was a character in a popular 1950’s western-themed children’s show.  He therefore has a vintage look that
Imagineers
successfully
carried over to his
Games of the Boardwalk
booth.

The new
Games of the Boardwalk
are fun and fanciful, with those special accents that are the signature of a real
Disney
attraction—even a minor attraction like this.  The lamps at
Dumbo’s Bucket Brigade
booth, for example, are encased in red metal fire brigade buckets, and the prize is a plush
Timothy
doll.

The
Imagineers
are to be congratulated for this transformation.  The only sour note is that Guests still have to pay to play these games.  Given admission prices, it would be nice if a couple of free games were loaded onto Guest tickets or passes during each visit.  That would be a nice perk for Guests, and might lead to increased profits for the
Games of the Boardwalk
, as a couple of free plays might lead Guests to plunk down more cash for more attempts to win.

Presently, Guests must obtain a
colorful
Play Card
bearing an image of one of the games, and load the card with points.  Each game is 250 points for a single play, except
Casey at the Bat
, which is 500 points per play. 
Play Cards
can be loaded (and re-loaded) as follows:

To load the
Play Card
you insert cash, a credit card, or your room key card if you’re staying at a
Disneyland Resort
hotel.  Guests on a tight budget should take care not to get swept up in
Disneyland
euphoria and overload their
Play Cards
.  Decide how much you can realistically afford to spend on pay-to-play games.  Let your kids know in advance how many games they can play, be it one or one hundred.  Calculate the number of Guests in your party who’ll be playing, how many games each they can play, and load the
Play Card
(s) accordingly. 
Did You Know?
  If you don’t care to play or can’t afford to play the
Games of the Boardwalk
, just head along the shore and stand in line for
Toy Story Midway Mania!
a “4D” midway game experience.  A technological marvel embedded in a wholesome, nostalgic setting,
Toy Story Midway Mania!
allows Guests to try their skill at classic midway games.  It’s fun–and already included in the admission fee. 
FastPass:
  No.  The
Games of the Boardwalk
are games of chance and skill, their format not suited to the
FastPass
system which was primarily designed for
E-ticket
attractions.  However, Guests will rarely have to wait long for their turn to play, and some of the booths, like
Dumbo’s Bucket Brigade
and the
Bullseye Stallion Stampede
, are multiplayer games that can accommodate numerous Guests at the same time. 
Kid’s Eye View:
I haven’t tried the new games.  I didn’t like the old ones.

Golden Zephyr

[
FastView:
 
Thrilling rocket-ships spin over
Paradise Bay
.
]

The
Golden Zephyr
on
Paradise Bay
’s northwestern shore was one of
DCA
’s opening day attractions in 2001.  A pretty swing ride, it features six sleek, Buck Rogers-like rocket vehicles, stainless-steel zeppelins that seat up to twelve Guests each.  Guests board on the second level.  The vehicles are suspended from a sunburst-encrusted tower that rises about 90 feet in the air.

The rockets never ascend that high, of course.  Once the
spacecraft begin to spin around the tower, they rise slightly higher than the second-story boarding platform, tilting to the left and flying out beyond the platform’s edge above the waters of
Paradise Bay
.

It’s a
n exhilarating experience, especially for small children not tall enough to ride other
Paradise Bay
thrill rides.  The
Golden Zephyr
has no height requirements.  The rockets have no canopies, so the wind rushes through your hair and it feels like you’re racing much faster than you are.  The view is stunning, particularly at night when you take in the brilliant, varicolored electric and neon lights of
California Screamin’
, the
Boardwalk
,
and
Mickey’s Fun Wheel
.  It’s a concerta in lights, and you drink it in while you swoop around the tower like a modern-day Buck or Wilma.

The ride is less than two minutes long and it’s over much too quickly.
  The good news is that lines are usually short, zero to five minutes off-season or on weekdays, and usually no more than twenty minutes on more crowded days.  So if you enjoyed the earth-bound space voyage, after you descend the exit stairs you can step right back in line for another ride.