The Doctor Wore Spurs (12 page)

Martina turned to Felicity. "I'm sorry this ruined your wedding."

Felicity shook her head. "It didn't ruin it. I still got your brother," she said with a smile. "It just added a little drama. Brock was getting tired of the reception, anyway."

Martina gave a small smile and hugged her. "I'm glad he found you."

She looked at Jill. "If you love Tyler, you need to realize that he's scared spitless of getting married. He'll deny it to his dying day, but he's scared of losing. It will take a strong woman to break through that, but it will be worth it."

Jill suffered with the fact that she would be leaving him soon. "He is a very special man," she said quietly.

Martina nodded in approval. "Yes, he is." She swiped at her eyes. "I should go."

Jill hated seeing the loneliness in her eyes. "You could come to Fort Worth."

Martina shook her head. "No, I'll head back to Dallas. It'll be a while before I come here again," she told Felicity.

"I wish you wouldn't say that," Felicity said.

Unable to let her leave without some offer of assistance, Jill pulled a card from her purse. "I'm not your brother or even a Logan, but I hate the idea of you being pregnant and alone. If you need anything," Jill said, "or need to get away from Texas for a little bit, please know you can call me."

Martina took her card and nodded. "Thanks. You never know, I might decide a trip to D.C. would be a great idea. Y'all take care."

Jill watched her descend the steps and embrace her brothers, then she was gone. When Brock and Tyler returned to the house, Felicity tugged her new husband upstairs for a few moments of privacy.

Tyler turned to Jill. "Thanks for keeping me from doing something stupid."

"Punching Noah Coltrane?"

He shook his head. "That would have been satisfying. Letting Martina leave without knowing we wouldn't stop loving her would have been a big mistake. I'm still upset as hell, but she's got the bigger problem and she doesn't need Brock and me loading her up with our grudge with the Coltranes."

She touched his arm. "That's extremely clearheaded considering you probably wanted to tar and feather him."

He looked down at her thoughtfully. "Having you here made a difference for me."

Jill's chest tightened as she remembered Martina's words. How could Jill be the strong woman he needed when she felt so vulnerable? How could she be there for him when she was leaving? She tried to push her thoughts aside. The day had been so full she could barely make sense of it all, and Jill suspected her private turmoil was just beginning.

After saying goodbye, Jill and Tyler left that evening for Fort Worth. Everyone at the Logan Ranch seemed to need some breathing space from the festivities and Martina's revelation. Jill wondered if that was the last time she would see Brock and Felicity, but she tried not to dwell on it. She insisted on driving during the return trip, and Tyler was silent most of the way.

That night in bed, they just held each other. It was a sweet comfort to her soul to have him in her arms.

On Monday she struggled with her indecision of when to leave but began the process of turning over the heart menders' project to the on-site PR coordinator. Tyler popped in to see her several times.

Trina stood beside her, sighing. "You're so lucky," she said. "He's everything a woman could want—good-looking, a doctor, interesting, sexy." She shook her head. "And you know he's going to be a great father. He was
born
to be a father. This is a man who should definitely be reproduced."

This is a man who should definitely be reproduced.

Trina left her office, and Jill stood stock-still as Trina's words rocked through her and exploded. The pain was overwhelming in its intensity. Truth, she thought. If ever something was true, this was it. For all his talk about not wanting a family, his roots would eventually lead him to create his own personal legacy. Tyler would make a great father. He should have children. She couldn't make that happen for him.

In all her confusion about how and when to leave, she had never considered the monumental truth. She knew him intimately and knew even better than Trina that he should indeed be reproduced.

Nausea rose in her throat. How could she have been so blind? She wrapped her arms around her waist, comforting herself at the thought of what she would have to do. Before she'd been uncertain, but now it was crystal clear what she must do.

When morning dawned, however, she knew that sometime that day she would have to tell him she was leaving. She spent the day making airline arrangements, tying up loose ends and visiting Sam. In the midst of the loss of her relationship with Tyler, Jill realized that for herself she could still share her love with a child even if she hadn't given birth to him. She called the Social Services representative and discussed the possibility of adopting Sam.

By the end of the workday, she was exhausted but resolved. Tyler was working the night shift, and he had told her he would come see her before he made rounds. He swung into her office with a sexy grin and immediately took her into his arms. "I must be getting old. You wore me out last night."

She took a tiny breath. Her tight chest would only allow that much.

He pulled back. "I'm not complaining." He looked at her thoughtfully. "What's up?"

Jill looked away from him. She didn't know how to tell him. She only knew she must.

"I'm leaving tomorrow."

Silence followed.

"You can't."

Jill heard a little of his heart hurting in his tone, and she nearly broke down. Heaven help her. She walked behind her desk, hoping the barrier would keep her emotions from tumbling out. "Yes, I am." She bit her lip. "We both knew I would leave. Clarence has asked me to leave."

"Clarence can unask you," Tyler yelled.

His volume snapped her head back. She met his gaze, and the pain she saw in his eyes made her pray she was doing the right thing. "Tyler, we both knew I would leave. It's not just that I live in Washington, D.C., and you live here. Neither of us wanted to make a permanent commitment to each other, anyway, so dragging it out is just going to make it more difficult for you or for me to get on with our lives."

"Is it that easy for you to just cut it off and leave?" he demanded angrily.

"No, it's not. But I'm not the right woman for you. Someday you're going to decide to settle down." She lifted her hand when he opened his mouth to protest. "Just listen. Someday you're going to decide you want to have children. And you should," she said, feeling her eyes fill with tears. "You should, because you will be an awesome father. Your children will be so lucky to have you as their father. I can't give you babies." The words spoken from her mouth sliced her to ribbons. "I lost the ability to have children. Someday you're going to want those babies, and I love you too much to take that away from you."

Tyler looked shell-shocked. "You can't have children."

Jill shook her head. "That's right. I can't."

Emotions warred for dominion on his face. Confusion, pain, frustration. He strode in front of her desk. "We won't need to deal with children now, Jill. This is about us, you and me, now."

"We can't just deal with you and me now," she said. "We have to deal with you and me past and you and me future. I love you and I refuse to take something this important from your future. Besides," she reminded him, "you didn't want to make a commitment to me."

His pager went off. He swore and pointed his finger at her emphatically. His gaze burned holes in her heart. "I have to go, but if you really love me, you will not leave."

He was gone like the wind, and with her tears falling like rain, she whispered to his back, "If I really love you, then I'll leave."

Two surgeries in one night and Jill announcing her impending departure. It was 7:00 a.m. and Tyler felt like an old man. He called her condo, but there was no answer. He wondered if she was avoiding him.

Letting himself into her office, he went in and sat down in her chair behind the desk to wait for her. More than anything, he wanted to feel her presence. If he concentrated hard enough, he could almost smell her soft, floral scent.

Tyler propped his arms on her desk and sank his head into his hands. He'd found a woman who rocked his world, and now she was going to leave it. He had no idea how to keep her. His sense of humor, charm and medical degree were not going to help him now.

Something about her made him want to be the best he could be, yet at the same time he could count on her support when he didn't meet his standards. He didn't want to go the rest of his life without that. Hell, he didn't want to go five minutes.

Had it finally happened to him? Had he finally met
the
woman? He didn't doubt for one minute that he wanted to spend now and forever with her. He'd been so busy avoiding the idea of commitment that he hadn't listened to his heart.

Heaven knows the Logans had gotten into trouble when they listened to their hearts. The threat of the Logan Curse mocked him. "Don't fall in love, because you will lose."

A disturbing idea settled in his gut. In this case was it a self-fulfilling prophecy? Had he chosen someone who would leave? He shook his head at the thought. He'd watched Jill in her trial by fire. That was a woman who could stick through the worst.

Tyler wondered if he had made it easy for her to leave. No strings, no commitment, no future plans. Easy, he thought, his earlier attitude damning him.

He played a game of what-if.

"What if I'm in love with her?" He said the words aloud to see if they were real. "I am," he said, the realization both freeing and painful.

"What if I want to marry her?

"I do," he said, amazed at how easily the truth came when he wasn't fighting it.

"What about kids?"

Tyler stared into the darkness and mourned the loss of Jill's ability to have children. He would have loved to make her big with his child. But it was more important to him to have her in his life.

The door whooshed open and he looked up, hoping to see Jill. It was Trina. His heart fell.

"Dr. Logan," she said awkwardly. "I didn't expect you to be here. I just thought I'd do one more pass over for Jill in case she left something." She sighed. "She did a great job, but it's sad that she had to leave. I bet you're going to miss her."

Tyler frowned. "When is she stopping by today?"

Trina shook her head. "Oh, she's not coming in today. She's got a morning flight."

"Morning flight?" he thundered, standing. "When?"

Trina blinked. "I think around ten o'clock."

"Flight 534 for Washington, D.C., now boarding passengers seated in rows five through thirty."

Jill ignored the lump in her throat and gathered her carry-on bag. "That's me," she murmured to herself, surprised her heart had not been ripped from her chest. Surely it couldn't be hurting this badly and still beating.

I'm doing the right thing. I'm doing the right thing, she chanted to herself again. She'd been chanting it nearly nonstop during her endless, sleepless night and endless drive to the Dallas/Fort Worth airport.

"I'm doing the right thing," she whispered.

"No, you're not."

Jill slowed at the sound of Tyler's voice. For a moment she wondered if she'd imagined it. Lack of sleep did that to people, didn't it?

"I love you."

Jill stopped at the sound of his voice at her back. She
must
be dreaming, she thought, but turned around.

Tyler stood there in his medical coat, his hair mussed, circles under his blue, anxious eyes. Jill could only gape at him.

"I'm not here to see you off," he told her with no smile in sight, and got down on one knee. "Marry me."

The floor tilted, the entire airport spun. She stared at him, feeling her body begin to tremble, starting with her feet.

"I want to be with you forever," he said. "You make me want to know how forever feels. Marry me, Jill."

Her head was swimming. "But I thought you didn't want commitment."

"I was so used to saying I didn't want to get married, I couldn't hear myself when I really wanted to," he told her. "And about children," he said, his expression serious, "I will have hundreds of children through my career. I can only have one you."

Tears began to fall down her cheeks. She sniffed and swiped at her damp face. "Oh, Tyler are you sure?"

"Lady, he'd better be sure," a bystander cracked. "He's got witnesses." It suddenly occurred to Jill that they had an audience. Jill had only had eyes for Tyler. She tugged his hand, urging him to stand. "Get up."

"I'm double parked. I'm pretty sure my bike has been towed, so I hope you'll give me a ride home. You haven't answered me," he said, keeping hold of her hand at the announcement for final boarding.

"Where is home?" she asked, still unable to believe. She'd had no hope.

"Wherever we are together. Jill, stop torturing me. Will you marry me?"

"Can we adopt Sam?"

His gaze was unbearably tender. "Yes."

"I will marry you, Tyler Logan," she promised, barely noticing a scattered applause as Tyler took her into his arms. "What about the Logan Curse?" she whispered, her heart overflowing.

"From the very beginning I told you that you were a sorceress. You worked your magic and broke it."

"I'm not magic," she protested.

He shook his head, the love in his eyes brighter than the sun and bigger than Texas. "You are, for me."