The Doctor's Lost-and-Found Bride (9 page)

It was so crazy that he couldn’t help laughing. ‘I think we might have a way to go yet.’

She smiled at him, climbed off him and lithely got to her feet; then she held out a hand to help haul him up.

Except, once he was standing next to her, he couldn’t stop himself pulling her back into his arms and kissing her.

‘Enough of the teenage stuff,’ she said with a grin when he broke the kiss. ‘Let’s finish this somewhere more comfortable.’ She laced her fingers through his and led him through to her bedroom.

The room was painted soft duck-egg blue and cream; her double bed had a silver-painted wrought-iron frame, and there was a huge pile of pillows. Max could hardly wait to see her hair spread across them.

Except he still had the guilty feeling that he was taking this all too quickly. ‘Are you sure about this, Marina?’ he asked softly.

Her eyes were clear as she looked at him. ‘I’m sure. Are you?’

He nodded. ‘We’re both crazy, you know that?’

She kissed him lightly. ‘Stop thinking, Max. Let’s just
be
.’

Telling him, in typical Marina style, that he was being too intense. That he should just relax and enjoy what was happening—because she intended to enjoy every second of it.

She untucked his shirt from his trousers and began to unbutton it.

Slowly they undressed each other, item by item. It took a long, long time, because they both had to kiss every centimetre of skin they uncovered. How much Max loved exploring her like this.

‘I didn’t tell you,’ Max said ‘You look lovely tonight—and I love your hair down like this.’

She smiled at him. ‘Thank you. I can’t wear it like this for work because it isn’t hygienic.’

He couldn’t resist playing with the ends of her hair, all soft, silky and curling round his fingers. ‘It’s still beautiful. Like you.’

‘Flatterer.’ But there were dimples in her cheeks, and he knew she’d appreciated the compliment.

She drew the pad of her thumb along his lower lip. ‘You’re still beautiful, too.’

He raised an eyebrow. ‘Yesterday you said I was too thin.’

‘You are. But you’ve also got the longest lashes of anyone I’ve ever met, and your mouth is irresistible. Sexy as hell.’

‘So,’ he said, stealing a kiss, ‘is yours.’

Kissing turned to touching. And then they were in her bed, with her hair spread over the pillow, just the way he’d wanted it, and her head tipped back in offering, and he was kneeling between her thighs.

As he eased inside her, again he had that odd sensation that he was coming home. It was more than just familiarity: this was where he wanted to be. And they were definitely making love—because this wasn’t just sex. It was a lot, lot more than that.

He still loved Marina from the depths of his soul. Always had, always would.

And he wanted her back in his life. For good.

Now wasn’t the time to tell her—at least, not in words,
but he could let his body do the talking. Rediscover where she liked being touched, what pleased her, what thrilled her. What made her make little breathy noises of surprised delight, what made her quiver and what made her grab onto him and practically hyperventilate.

As he felt her body tighten round his, the initial shimmer of her climax, he looked into her face and whispered, ‘Open your eyes, Marina.’

She did. He saw the exact moment that she reached the peak—and it pushed him into his own climax.

I love you, Marina Petrelli,
he said inside his head.
I love you.

Afterwards, he lay on his back with Marina curled into him. ‘So, what are we going to do?’ he asked.

‘About what?’

‘The elephant in the corner.’

She pressed a kiss against his shoulder. ‘If we’re honest about it, Max, there is more than one.’

‘Let’s tackle the smallest first, then—this thing between us.’

She sighed. ‘I don’t know, Max. Maybe it’s just a physical thing.’

It was more than that for him—and, from what Rosie had said, Marina had kept other men pretty much at arm’s length, rarely going on more than a second date. So it gave him hope that this was more than just sex for her, too. Marina Petrelli was warm, sweet and giving, but she didn’t give her whole self lightly.

He smiled. ‘I never could keep my hands off you.’

‘Me, too.’ She paused. ‘I know this is going to sound mad, but maybe we should have a fling and get it out of our systems.’

That was the thing: he didn’t think it would get her out of his system. ‘We’ve already been there, done that and made a mess of it. And we made a complete mess of our marriage as well,’ he reminded her.

‘I’m not blaming you for that,’ she said softly. ‘There were faults on both sides.’

He hadn’t talked to her, and she’d walked out. Neither of them had really given the other a chance to work it out. ‘So what are we going to do about this?’

‘Can’t we keep it just between us for now?’

‘Which makes me your dirty little secret.’

‘Not
dirty
.’ She shook her head in frustration, trying to work out the right way to say it. ‘Just…I don’t know where this is going, neither do you, and until we get things sorted out in our heads it’s better not to raise anyone’s expectations.’

‘So you’re saying this is just sex?’

‘Yes.
No
.’ She frowned. ‘Max, please don’t push me. There’s a lot going on in my life right now, what with Rosie being in hospital and my studies. I really don’t need the extra pressure.’ She sighed. ‘Look, what I’m trying to say is, I know we have issues and I know we need to talk about things. But I don’t think tackling everything head-on is going to be the best way to deal with it.’

‘So what do you suggest?’

‘That we get to know each other again. Understand where each other’s coming from. Learn to trust each other a bit before we tackle the tough stuff.’

‘You mean, dating each other?’

‘But
not
under a spotlight. Max, everyone in the department’s lovely, but they’re all incurable matchmakers.’ As was her sister. ‘If they have even a hint that there’s anything between us, they’ll have us married off faster…’

‘Than we were last time?’ he finished.

She nodded. ‘Marry in haste, repent at leisure: there’s a lot of truth in that. We didn’t really get to know each other properly last time. We just leapt into—’ She stopped as he burst out laughing, and frowned. ‘What?’

‘Did you hear what you just said, Marina? Considering where we are…’

Reluctantly, she laughed. ‘All right, you have a point.’

He stroked her face. ‘We managed to hold out for a week longer this time before we ended up in bed together. But we’re not very good at keeping our hands off each other, Marina.’

‘Maybe we should try a bit harder.’

‘So there’s going to be a rule about no kissing and no touching? I’m not sure how long that’s going to last, but we can give it a try.’ He paused. ‘Are you off at the weekend?’

‘Yes.’

‘Got any plans?’

‘Visiting Rosie and spending time with Phoebe.’

‘Can you spare Saturday afternoon? If, say, I help you study in the evening?’

The offer was tempting. Incredibly tempting. She’d always loved studying with Max. ‘What did you have in mind?’

‘You suggested it,’ he said. ‘A date. You don’t have to dress up, just wear something you can walk in.’

‘We’re going for a walk?’

‘We’re going to play tourist,’ he said. ‘Spend some time together. Get to know each other again.’

‘But no touching and no kissing,’ she reminded him.

‘Not on Saturday,’ he agreed. ‘But right now I’m in your bed. And we’re both naked. And what I really want to do is…’ He leaned forward and kissed her, a slow, hot
kiss that made his blood fizz. ‘That’s on account,’ he said. ‘Until we’re ready to take it further.’ He slid out of bed and retrieved his clothes. When she made a move to get up, he shook his head. ‘Stay put. I can see myself out—and I think you need to get some sleep.’

She glanced at her bedroom clock. ‘I didn’t realise it was this late! Um, Max, if you want to stay…’

He finished dressing and sat next to her on the bed. ‘I’m tempted. Very tempted. But then I’ll break this new no-touching rule within seconds. So I’m going home. I’ll see you tomorrow.’

‘I’m not working in the department tomorrow. I’m in the children’s assessment unit,’ she reminded him.

‘Then I’ll see you on Thursday.’ He couldn’t resist stealing one last kiss. ‘Good night. Sweet dreams.’

Marina smiled as he closed her bedroom door. Yes, her dreams would be sweet tonight. Because they’d be dreams of him.

M
ARINA
was kept busy in the Children’s Unit on the Wednesday, and after visiting Rosie she went home with her parents and helped out with Phoebe, but she still found enough time to miss Max. She didn’t do anywhere near as much studying as she’d intended, either, because she kept thinking of him instead of keeping her mind on her textbooks.

On Thursday she and Max were rostered on different parts of the ward, and on Friday they were too busy to say more than a brief hello, but on Saturday morning he sent her a text.

Your place at 1?

C u then
, she texted back.

It gave her half an hour to change her outfit three times and redo her make-up twice.

Don’t dress up
, he’d said.
Wear something you can walk in
.

In the end she opted for jeans, flat ankle-boots, a long-sleeved T-shirt and a light jacket in case it rained.

At precisely one o’clock, her doorbell rang, just as she’d expected; Max always had been the punctual sort. He, too, was wearing jeans, though his were black rather than faded blue, and his sweater was the same slate-blue as his eyes.
He looked utterly edible, and she seriously considered grabbing him and breaking all the new rules.

‘Ready?’ he asked.

‘Sure. Where are we going?’

‘The weather’s on our side.’ He indicated the bright-blue spring sky. ‘So I thought we’d get some fresh air, if that’s OK with you?’

‘Sure.’ It was ridiculous to feel this shy with him. She’d been
married
to the man, for pity’s sake. She’d ended up in bed with him this week—on two separate occasions, so she couldn’t even say it was a one-off mistake.

But this felt exactly like a first date. A step into the unknown. Would they have anything in common any more, apart from that intense physical attraction? Over the years they’d both changed; would they actually like each other now?

She mentally shook herself, grabbed her handbag, locked the front door behind them and walked with Max to the Tube station.

‘We’re going to Kew Gardens?’ she asked when they changed onto the District line. She’d never been to see the display of spring bulbs; it was one of the things she and Rosie had always planned to do, but they’d never quite got round to going.

‘It’s meant to be lovely at this time of year,’ Max said.

It was breathtaking, with the fading drifts of daffodils and crocuses being replaced by tulips, blossom starting to come out on the cherry trees and the tiny flowers of the ‘glory of the snow’ turning the lawns near the Orangery into a carpet of blue even brighter than the spring sky.

She ended up hand in hand with Max as they walked through the grounds.

‘I thought we had a no-touching rule?’ she asked with a smile.

‘This is our “first date”, so I think holding hands is just about permissible,’ he said, laughing back.

And, as long as they avoided the subject of the past, the old easiness between them came back. Just like on their real first date, where they’d talked and talked and talked. They wandered through the gardens and the galleries, stopped for tea in the Orangery, and Marina was shocked by just how quickly the time went.

‘I know I said just an afternoon,’ Max said. ‘But can I persuade you to have dinner with me tonight? I’ll spot-test you on paediatric complications, if you like.’

She laughed. ‘I don’t think it’ll hurt if I play hooky from my studies occasionally.’

‘So that’s a yes for dinner?’

‘I’d love to,’ she said.

They ended up in a Chinese restaurant, sharing a mixture of dishes. And at the end, when they were thoroughly stuffed, they drank jasmine tea and broke open their fortune cookies.

‘“Being happy is not always being perfect”,’ Max read.

That was true. They’d tried to be the perfect couple, and everything had gone downhill after that.

‘“He who climbs a ladder must begin at the first step”,’ she said, reading hers aloud.

‘Well, that tells us,’ he said with a smile.

He was teasing, she knew, but it was definite food for thought. If they were ever to salvage anything from the past, they’d have to start right back at the beginning—and learn that they didn’t have to be perfect. That it was enough just to be themselves.

After Max had walked her home from the Tube station, Marina stood on tiptoe on her front doorstep and kissed him on the cheek. ‘Thank you for today.’

He coughed. ‘What about the no-kissing rule?’

She gave him a cheeky grin. ‘As you said, it’s our first date. I’m allowed to kiss your cheek right at the end.’

‘Hmm,’ he said.

‘Seriously, Max, it’s been a fabulous day. I really enjoyed myself.’

‘Me, too.’ He drew her hand up to his mouth and kissed the back of her fingers.

‘What was that you were saying about the no-kissing rule?’ she teased.

‘You just said it was a first date and it’s allowed,’ he countered. Then his smile faded and his eyes grew serious. ‘I hope that today’s maybe a new beginning, Marina.’

‘Me, too.’

‘I know we’ve still got a way to go,’ he said softly. ‘And there are a lot of things we’re going to have to talk about. But this is a start.’

‘Like my fortune-cookie message said.’

‘Exactly.’ He stroked her face. ‘Don’t ask me in for coffee. We both know where that will lead. And, much as I want to kiss you right now, and carry you to your bed and make love with you for the rest of the night, I’m going to be sensible about this. I’m going home.’

She understood. Like her, he wanted to give them a proper chance. To go beyond their physical attraction and deal with the demons in their joint past. ‘Thank you for today.’

‘And thank
you
.’ He waited until she’d unlocked her door, sketched a brief salute and was gone.

Sunday heralded a perfect spring morning, and Max called Marina to suggest a trip on the river down to Greenwich.

‘I’d love to, but I’m meant to be helping Mum and Dad with Phoebe.’

‘No worries. Some other time,’ Max said. ‘See you tomorrow.’

But the disappointment must have shown on her face when she ended the call, because her mother immediately asked what was wrong.

‘Go,’ Louise said when Marina explained. ‘Phoebe has a nap in the afternoons anyway—and you have a full-time job in the busiest department in the hospital, not to mention the fact that you’re studying for exams. You need a break. Call him back and say you’ve changed your mind.’

She did. ‘Is that offer still open?’ she asked.

‘Sure.’ Max sounded surprised—and pleased. Marina’s heart gave a little leap at the realisation that he was looking forward to spending time with her. Just as she was looking forward to spending time with him.

‘Meet you at Westminster at one?’ she suggested.

‘Great. I’ll see you on the pier.’

When she arrived, Max was leaning against one of the lamp-posts, wearing black jeans, a grey sweater and a pair of dark glasses. He looked utterly gorgeous, and she wondered if he was aware of just how many appreciative female glances he was attracting.

Then he saw her and smiled, and her heart gave a kick—because that smile was only for her.

‘Hi.’ He walked over to her, kissed her briefly on the mouth and grinned at her shocked stare. ‘Second date.
We’ve moved from a peck on the cheek to a peck on the lips. That’s the rules.’

‘Oh, really?’

‘Really.’ He stole a second kiss, just to prove it.

He helped her on to the boat and held her hand when he sat down next to her.

It turned out the boat he’d booked was one of the fast boats, and they sped along the Thames. Max gave her a sidelong look. ‘Feeling brave?’

‘Why?’

‘I have an idea.’ He drew her to her feet and guided her over to the back of the boat. ‘I know we’re at the stern of the boat rather than the bow, but we have to do the
Titanic
thing, don’t you think?’

‘You’re completely crazy.’ But she loved his spontaneity; this was the Max she remembered from years ago. The man she’d fallen headlong in love with.

He stood behind her. ‘Step up. I won’t let you fall.’

She knew he wouldn’t. And a few moments later she was standing there with her arms outstretched, her hands entwined with his, leaning out into the wind. ‘Max, I’m flying!’ she said with a grin.

‘Are you, now?’ He drew her hands down, wrapped his arms round her waist and kissed the curve of her neck. ‘Better not do the rest of the scene, as we’re only on our second date—and we’re in a public place,’ he murmured into her ear. ‘But I’m thinking it. Imagining it. Remembering what it’s like to kiss you properly. Feeling your mouth open against mine. And then knowing that I’m going to carry you to our bed and make love with you until neither of us can see straight.’

Desire shivered through her and she brought one hand up to touch his face. ‘
Max
.’

‘I know. Me, too. But waiting’s going to make it all the sweeter.’ He kissed the curve of her neck again, then stepped down, his hands still entwined with hers to keep her safe; they walked hand in hand back to their seat.

At Greenwich, they disembarked and walked through the streets to the Naval Museum, then through the park behind the huge, sprawling building and up the hill to the Royal Observatory. It was studded with the last of the daffodils, and families were out in force: parents strolling along with pushchairs and children running round. A perfect Sunday afternoon.

Max’s hand tightened around hers. ‘I thought that would be us by now.’

She stilled. ‘Elephant alert.’

‘
Enormous
elephant alert,’ he corrected, his voice gentle. ‘You’re not over it, are you?’

The miscarriage. Losing their baby. Losing their marriage. The words felt too big to come out of her mouth. In the end, she said simply, ‘No.’

‘Me, neither.’

Marina was shocked into silence. She’d always thought that it hadn’t affected him as badly as it had affected her. And, even though she knew that his mother’s comments had been fuelled by jealousy and resentment, part of her had wondered if there was some truth in them: that deep down Max really was relieved that she’d lost the baby because they had both still been so young and right at the start of their careers. After all, he hadn’t tried to get her back after she’d left. He hadn’t followed her to London, hadn’t called her…He’d just shut off.

‘I know we didn’t plan to have children quite so soon,
but I always thought we’d have them,’ Max said. ‘More than one, because I didn’t want ours to be an only child.’

‘Like you were, you mean?’

He shrugged. ‘I have no idea if my parents wanted more children. It’s not exactly something I could ask my mother, but I sometimes wonder if they might not have been able to.’

That would certainly explain why Kay had clung so desperately to Max, Marina thought. If only she’d realised that she was gaining a daughter rather than losing a son.

Max had had all the pressure of his mother’s love and expectations on him. And he’d missed out, too. ‘Our house was always full of children,’ Marina said. ‘But when they’d gone I still had Rosie to play with. Sure, we squabbled—all kids do—but she was always there for me, to cheer with me in the good times and give me a hug in the bad times. She’s always given me the space to work things out for myself and listened without judging.’ She looked away. ‘Rosie was the one who stopped me going under after I…after I lost our baby.’

He sucked in a breath. ‘I’m glad you had her support. Though I know it should’ve been me. And I’m sorry. I just couldn’t deal with it back then.’

Her throat felt too tight for her to speak. She made a noncommittal noise and rummaged in her handbag for her sunglasses, jamming them on to her face to hide her eyes.

He stopped dead and pulled her close, wrapping his arms round her, heedless of the people walking by them. ‘Are you crying?’ His voice was so soft that she could barely hear him.

She still couldn’t speak, so she shook her head. She wasn’t crying…just. Though her eyes were stinging with unshed tears, and the pressure round her head was almost unbearable.

‘I didn’t mean to upset you, Marina. I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry. And I wish I’d been mature enough to support you myself instead of running away and hiding in work. I don’t have any excuses. I let you down, and I’m sorry.’

‘We were both young. What happened to us was a really big deal. Neither of us knew how to deal with it. And I should’ve supported you, too. I just didn’t think it…’ She couldn’t finish the sentence.

‘You didn’t think it bothered me, because I wasn’t the one who physically had to go through it?’

Hearing her thoughts spoken aloud was shocking. Particularly as she hadn’t expected Max to read her so easily. There was an edge to his voice: anger, hurt, pain? She couldn’t tell.

But if they were ever going to stand a chance she owed him honesty. ‘Yes.’

He was silent for a long, long time. Then he whispered, ‘The day you lost the baby was one of the worst days of my life.’

She could feel him shaking with the pain of the memories and the strain of actually letting the words out.

‘I’d been worrying myself sick for weeks, thinking of all the things that could go wrong with your pregnancy, and part of me felt as if it were my fault, for reading up on everything and talking it up.’

She’d never even dreamed he’d felt like that. ‘It wasn’t your fault. Of course it wasn’t. You know as well as I do that one in five pregnancies never comes to term. We were unlucky.’ She choked back a sob. ‘And it happened after we thought we were safe.’ So unfairly. When they should’ve had the chance to relax and enjoy her preg
nancy, to plan the nursery, talk about names and dream about the future.

‘It wasn’t your fault, either,’ Max said softly. ‘So I hope you’re not blaming yourself.’

She shook her head. ‘I’m not. I just wish it had been different. That we’d had our chance to be a family.’

‘Me, too. I wanted a family with you, Marina. I know our baby wasn’t planned, but I wanted a little girl who looked like you. And a little boy. I wanted to take our kids to the park with you, play on the swings, teach them to swim, read them stories. I wanted all of it.’