The Domville 6 (The Domville #6) (7 page)

‘I was the same person all those years ago, Fin and you
never wanted me then.’ Her voice cracked and she unhooked her legs, sliding
down my body, but I anchored an arm around her waist. No way was I letting her
go now.

‘I did want you, I always wanted you, but I wasn’t ready.
I didn’t want to cross that line until I was ready to give you all of me. Do
you have any idea how many times I nearly made a move on you? How hard it was
for me to sleep with you at night without getting a hard on? Or to watch you
get dressed up to go on dates and imagine you fucking another guy? Or what it
felt like to have you cry on my shoulder when another bastard had hurt you?’

‘You never said, I had no idea.’ She looked up at me,
shaking her head. I tucked her hair behind her ear and gently ran my knuckles
down her cheek.

‘Well, you never said anything either. Until the party
that night, I really wasn’t sure if you even found
me
attractive.’

‘The night I kissed you?’

‘You kissed me?’ It was my turn to look at her confused.

‘College graduation, the night you had to go to hospital
for a concussion. It was because I kissed you that you fell off your stool and
hit your head.’

‘Seriously?’

‘I thought you were faking not remembering it in the
morning, because you didn’t find me attractive enough.’

‘Freckles, I had no idea.’

‘Then what are you talking about?’

‘Uni graduation party. You were drunk, so I carried you
to bed, as usual. I kissed your forehead and you told me that you loved me,
that you were in love with me and had been for years. You don’t remember?’

‘No,’ she whispered, her cheeks turning a dark shade of
pink. ‘That’s why you left and never called me again?’

‘Kind of,’ I shrugged, wincing to see the look on her
face as I vocalised that. ‘I’d already accepted the job in Dubai and I always planned
to keep in touch. But when you told me that, I panicked. Much as I wanted you, I
still wasn’t ready for a serious relationship, Freckles. It’s like hearing you
confess your feelings for me suddenly made my feelings for you all the more real.
It made me realise that what you and I had
was
special, that it wasn’t
just going to be sexual like all of my other relationships. I was twenty-one,
though. I had no ties, I wasn’t ready to commit to anyone, no matter how I felt
about you. I knew that ultimately I’d end up breaking your heart if we slept
together and I broke it off to go away. I thought if we took that step then,
and I hurt you by leaving, you’d never take me back when I was ready.’

‘You broke my heart anyway,’ she whispered, dropping her
head to break our connection. She struggled to get out of my embrace, but I
just held her even tighter.

‘I’m so sorry, but I’m here now, I’m ready now.’

‘Well I’m not,’ she bit stubbornly. ‘I don’t even know
you anymore, Fin. You don’t know me. People change, feelings change.’

‘You’re telling me that you aren’t still in love with me?
The way you just kissed me tells me differently.’

‘Don’t mix curiosity, and desperation after a dry spell,
with love. Let me go, Finian.’

‘No, not until you admit that you still want me.’

‘I don’t know what I want!’ she shouted, on the verge of tears
again. ‘I’m tired, hungover and hungry and this is all too much, too fast. You
can’t just gloss over those missing years in one night.’

‘Freckles,’ I sighed as she continued to push at my
chest, trying to break free. ‘What do you want? You want to talk, you want me
to fill in the gaps? I’ll do whatever it takes.’

‘I want you to let me go. I can’t think straight with you
so close,’ she moaned. I reluctantly released her from my grasp and she ran
back to the bed, sat on it cross legged and pulled the duvet up to her chest,
clinging to the edges. I’d underestimated how much my absence had affected her,
and how much it had affected me too. Even when she was being stubborn and
fighting me, it just felt so natural to be around her, like time hadn’t passed
at all. ‘Can you put some clothes on, for God’s sake,’ she muttered with a roll
of her eyes.

‘I have none,’ I shrugged, amused that she was trying to
look anywhere but at my body, as I stood with my hands on my hips watching her.
‘Yesterday’s shirt is rumpled in the bottom of my bag, you soaked last night’s
shirt and you’re wearing the one I was going to put on this morning.’

‘Sorry about that,’ she mumbled.

‘I guess it was deserved. You give a mean slap,
Freckles.’

‘I told you to stop calling me that.’ She fixed me with
her best attempt at a glare, but it wasn’t as fierce or full of anger as it had
been when she’d slapped me earlier. I was breaking her down. I walked over and
sat on the edge of the bed, one leg crooked up on it so I could face her.

‘You’ll always be Freckles to me. You’re still my best
friend. They say time and distance don’t get in the way of true friendship.’

Toni

‘No, but cutting them out of your life with no
explanation does. I have no idea if you’re still an architect, how your family
is, if you’ve had a steady girlfriend or got kids. You don’t know any of that
about me either.’ Christ, it was hard trying to only look at his face. His body
was insane. So toned and perfected, with the remains of his Middle Eastern tan
accentuating every rippling muscle. I just wanted to run my hands all over his
skin, lick, kiss and bite every inch of it. I swallowed hard as I recalled that
kiss only moments ago. He kissed like a man, full of confidence and power. It
had made me lightheaded and giddy. But much as I wanted to take it further, I
was still angry with him.

‘Yes, I’m still an architect. I have my own firm, here in
London. I’ve been set up for a few months now. I needed to get settled in
before I contacted you. I’ve not had any steady girlfriends, just … encounters,
like I always did. No kids, at least I don’t think I have and I want to know
everything that’s happened to you since I last saw you.’ His gorgeous blue eyes
held my gaze as he spoke, draining the saliva from my mouth. I reached out to
grab the water on the bedside table and took a few gulps.

‘What about your family? How are your ma and pa and your
sisters?’ I asked. I missed them. They had been my extended family at one
point. I often went over to Ireland with Fin for visits.

‘My sisters are great. All married now and Cerie and Iona
have had kids since you last saw them. Pa is gutted, all of them have had girls.
He has eleven grandkids now and he really wants a grandson.’

‘I bet he’s gutted,’ I giggled. Mr. Delany was a real
man’s man. He used to moan that Finian needed to come home more often, as he
was surrounded by too many women. ‘Your ma must be so thrilled though.’

‘She was,’ he nodded, after a pause. He dropped his head
and started picking at his thumbnail. ‘She adored and spoiled every single one
of them.’

‘Was?’ I sat up a little straighter, not liking the
sudden change in his tone of voice or demeanour. ‘Fin? She’s ok, isn’t she?’

‘She passed away in January, Freckles.’ He said it so
quietly, I wasn’t sure I’d heard him right.

‘She’s gone?’ I uttered, suddenly feeling an ache in my
heart for him. I knew how close he was to her. He was the baby of the family
and she doted on him so much.

‘Heart attack,’ he sighed. ‘It’s part of the reason I
came back to London, to be closer to my family.’ I reached out and took one of
his hands, smothering it in mine and squeezing it tightly.

‘I’m so sorry, Finian. She was such an amazing lady.’

‘She was,’ he agreed, the words catching in his throat.
He was still unable to look me in the eye. I’d never seen him cry in the five
years we knew each other. To see him suddenly broken like this had the same
effect on my heart. I scrambled out of the bed and quickly straddled his lap,
wrapping my arms tightly around his neck.

‘I’m so sorry,’ I repeated. He nodded and buried his face
in my neck, a solitary sob leaving his lips as I felt dampness on my
collarbone. His hands slid around my waist, then up my back to clutch my
shoulder blades. Why did this feel so natural to be so close to him? He was
right. There may be gaps for both of us, but it was like we’d never been apart.
‘Why didn’t you call me? I could have been there for you,’ I softly scolded
him.

‘I couldn’t,’ he murmured, nuzzling in between my shirt
collar and my bare neck. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on anything but
the warmth of his breath on my skin. ‘I didn’t want you to think that I only
needed you because I lost her. I wanted you to know that when I came for you, it
was because I wanted you, because I needed you, for you.’

‘When you came for me?’ I whimpered, as he started to lay
featherlike kisses in the spot that had my whole body sing with need.

‘I want you, Freckles. It hit me in January that I was
ready. I’m done with casual sex. I’m ready.’

‘Ready for what?’ I moaned, tipping my head to let his
kisses become firmer and more insistent.

‘For … you … for … us,’ he murmured, as he lay a kiss on
me between each word. I froze in his arms as my heart skipped a few beats. ‘How
about it, Freckles. You and me?’

‘How about it?’ I gasped, yanking his face out of my neck
and steadying myself with my palms on his broad muscular shoulders. ‘
How
about it?!
Is that your way of wooing me?!’

‘Well, I had a whole speech prepared, but you slapped me,
twice, then threw champagne in my face and stormed off.’

‘What the hell is this, Finian? Are you messing with me?
Is this your idea of a joke?’ I demanded, giving his shoulders a shove. He
quickly reached up and grabbed my hands, his face turning serious in an
instant.

‘No. No joke. I want you, Freckles. I’ve never been so
sure of anything in my life and I know that you still want me.’

‘No. I wanted you, Finian. Then you put time and distance
between us and I moved on,’ I bit angrily.

‘No, you didn’t,’ he bit back. ‘I know I hurt you, but I
never meant to. You just told me you loved me ten years too early. I wasn’t
ready to hear it then, I’m ready now.’

‘Well maybe
you’re
going to have to wait ten years
this time. Maybe you’ll have to wait forever, because you can’t just stride
back into my life and make some half arsed lame excuse and think I’m going to
swoon at your feet like all your other groupies. I’m
not
them, Finian.’
I felt tears prickle my eyes. I’d waited for this moment for so long, for him
to say that he was done fucking around and that I was what he’d wanted all
along. But that had been then. He’d hurt me so badly cutting me off, I wasn’t
sure I trusted that he was being genuine now. I fought to get my hands out of
his grasp, but his fingers circling my wrists tightened as he yanked them,
pulling my upper body closer to his. I could feel the warmth of his body
radiating between us, the anger causing both of our chests to heave, his
erection right at the apex of my thighs driving me crazy. Part of me wanted to
slap him again and run, part of me wanted him to kiss me again, to have him
inside me.

‘No, you’re not just another fling, Toni. You never were.
Why do you think I never fucked you? Because I respected you too much. I knew I
wasn’t ready to get serious and I didn’t want to risk losing my best friend for
a quick shag. If I was going to risk losing you at all, it had to be for
something real. Stop fighting me, woman. I’m telling you I came back to London
for you and I know you’re not seeing anyone, Alexis told me. She also told me
that you still have feelings for me.’

‘You really want me?’ I whispered, my eyes prickling with
tears as I stopped struggling to free myself from his grasp.

‘I always wanted you, Freckles,’ he breathed, his eyes
scanning mine, sincerity written all over his face, which made my stomach
flutter. Finian Delany, the guy all the women wanted, was telling me he wanted
me. ‘From the moment our eyes met in that library, but I couldn’t allow myself
to acknowledge it until I was ready to be the kind of guy you need, the kind of
guy you deserve. It took a long time, but I’m there now. Tell me that I’m not
too late, tell me that you’re ready, too?’

‘Are you talking a relationship? Or … or just … just
sex?’ I asked, feeling my cheeks heat up. He leaned in, letting his lips brush
the corner of my mouth, then trail up my cheek to my ear, nearly reducing me to
a puddle on his lap.

‘A relationship, Freckles,’ he whispered. ‘But trust me,
there’s going to be lots and
lots
of sex. We have a hell of a lot of
lost time to make up for. Starting right now.’

‘Fin,’ I moaned, as he started to kiss his way back down
to my lips. ‘Fin, I …’ His mouth met the corner of mine just as there was a
heavy knock on the door.

‘Feck!’ he muttered. ‘Room service. Ignore it.’ He moved
to kiss me again, but I turned my head.