The Dress (42 page)

‘She called to our apartment in Brooklyn, just after we were married, maybe six months after you...' Kicked me out on the street, stole everything I owned? Joy was shocked that the old wound hadn't quite closed. ‘...after
we
divorced. She came to the door to say...'

What had Honor come to say that day? Joy remembered getting a fright when she saw her standing there, then fobbing her off. It was the last time she had seen Honor's face, her chin trembling slightly with defiant fear. It must have taken a lot of courage for her to turn up like that. Had she come to apologize, to recant, to ask for help? Perhaps she wanted to come and talk about Frank, about her plans to leave him. Joy would never know and, quite suddenly, ten years later, she was filled with regret for not having welcomed Honor into her home, back into her life. It had been too soon, back then; the pain had been too raw. If only Honor were to call on her here, now, today, what a different welcome she would give her; perhaps they might have become friends again.

‘I don't know why she called on me, Frank, to be honest. It was too soon, after everything... I sent her away.'

Frank's face fell and Joy saw the hurt, vulnerable boy she had fallen in love with. The man who had seen the sadness beyond her name, the man who had fallen in love with the old Joy, the tortured, unhappy Joy she used to be.

‘I can't find her,' he said. ‘I've been looking for ten years.'

‘For
Honor
?' Joy could not keep the shock out of her voice. Was it possible that he was still hanging on the past like this?

‘She's my wife.'

The word wife hung in the air between them, in an untaken breath.

In that moment Joy realized that she still loved him. Not with the great untrammelled passion of her drinking youth, but with the deep humanity that had connected them in the first place. He had seen her sadness and Joy had hoped that loving him would chase that sadness away. She learned, the hard way, that only she could do that, that she and her God were in charge of holding her joy.

Joy could see that Frank was in pain and although she knew, through AA, that unasked for advice was rarely welcomed, she equally knew that she could not let him walk away without reaching out.

‘You know, Frank, for years I thought I couldn't move on, until other people had forgiven me for all the terrible things I had done...'

Frank shuffled awkwardly and kept his head down. He had never responded to her letter. What was she trying to say?

‘...But then, finally, I realized I had to forgive myself.'

He nodded, still looking down at the ground. His mouth was closed tight, as if he had nothing to say, or was trying to keep what he had to say from escaping.

‘Let her go, Frank.'

In the face of his taut silence, Joy stopped.

Eventually he raised his head. His jaw had relaxed; his eyes soft and sad. For a moment, Joy thought she had got through to him. Then he said, ‘If Honor does get in touch, be sure to tell her I'm looking for her.'

Frank took a step towards his car, and as he did so the driver quickly got out and opened the passenger door. But then Frank hesitated and looked over at the house again. With its swept, suburban porch and worn, comfortable chairs, it seemed the antithesis of their elegant life in Manhattan, yet it belonged as much to Joy as the Fifth Avenue penthouse once had.

‘I'm glad you have a good life,' Frank said. It was as much of an apology as she was ever going to get. Perhaps it's as much as I deserve, Joy thought.

‘I hope you find her,' Joy called after him, then to herself, ‘I hope you find what you're looking for.'

As Joy watched Frank walk towards his driver, his back tense and slightly hunched, she said a small prayer that he would.

~

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Acknowledgements

Kate Kerrigan

An invitation from the publisher

For the first time in my writing life, I had no idea for my next book. I was starting to panic when, at a gallery show, I bumped into an old associate from my time working on fashion magazines. Eddie Shanahan engaged me in a conversation about the craft of couture that was so scintillating I suddenly woke up to the expression ‘write what you know'. This book was conceived out of our shared passion for history and couture – so thank you Eddie.

In Spring 2014 I ‘lost'
The Dress
when I left my unsaved draft on an iBook, in the back of a Dublin taxi. I took to Twitter and trended overnight as #TheLostNovel. I would like to thank the Irish media who moved hell and high water to get my book back for me – especially the Ray D'Arcy and Nicky Byrne radio show teams, P.R. Caroline Kennedy, the Irish Mail and fellow novelists Cecelia Aherne, Marian Keyes and Amanda Brunker for Tweeting up a storm on my behalf. Also Eddie Masterson, the taxi driver who returned my laptop (and had Jack Scott's handsome driver named after him in return!)

For editing in the early stages, the brilliant Claire Bord. Your brilliant suggestion changed everything. You made such a difference, thank you.

My assistant Danielle Kerins. Editing, character development, proof-reading, comma police – you are the best publishing all-rounder any writer ever had. You blow me away every time – I am blessed. Thank you.

Also, thanks to Transition Year students, Catherine King and Elaine McHale, who joined me for part of the journey, and made themselves very useful indeed.

Lou Brennan – fashion designer, illustrator and muse for this book. Thank you for allowing me to draw on your expertise but mostly for designing the actual dress for me, then bringing it to life with your exquisite drawings.

Agents, Marianne Gunn O'Connor, Vicki Satlow for your unswerving support and belief in me. And, of course, Pat Lynch for always being on the end of that phone.

My wonderful editor Rosie de Courcy. At this stage of my career I never expected to work with such a game-changing editor. You have transformed the way I write.
The Dress
feels like the first book I have ever written – you have renewed my faith in both myself and the power of storytelling. This is your book as much as it is mine. Thank you. Thank you Thank you.

Amanda Ridout and the Head of Zeus team, especially Emily Zinkin, Jessie Price, Kaz Harrison, Clémence Jacquinet and Claire Nozières. I feel very lucky to have such a talented, dynamic and passionate group of people publishing me.

My oldest friend Mary Keane Dawson for the love and life-coaching when it all got too much and fellow writer Ella Griffin, for keeping me sane with FaceTime calls.

My mother Moira, for being my rock and my first-ear and my aunt, Sheila Smyth. Thank you both for cheerleading my writing skills, if not my appalling punctuation.

Lastly, always, my husband Niall, for enabling me to write and for allowing me to be ‘the writer'. Thank you for continuing to live on the front line of my dramas - I could not do many of this without you.

Lily Fitzpatrick loves vintage clothes – made all the more precious because they were once owned and loved by another woman. Thousands follow her vintage fashion blog and her daily Instagram feed. But this passion for the beautiful clothes of the past is about to have unforeseen consequences, when Lily stumbles upon the story of a 1950s New York beauty, who was not only everything Lily longs to be, but also shares Lily's surname.

Joy Fitzpatrick was a legend. But what was the famous dress which she once commissioned – said to be so original that nothing in couture would ever match it again? What happened to it – and why did Joy suddenly disappear from New York high society?

Kate Kerrigan's enthralling novel interweaves the dramatic story of Joy, the beautiful but tortured socialite and that of Lily – determined to uncover the truth and, if possible, bring back to life the legendary dress itself.

“Glamorous, gripping and moving. I just loved it.”

Marian Keyes on
The Dress

“Written with so much heart you can feel its pulse in every word.”

Cecelia Ahern on
Recipes for a Perfect Marriage

“Kate Kerrigan has the ability to make history compelling.”

Independent
on
City of Hope

K
ATE
K
ERRIGAN
lives in County Mayo, Eire, with her husband and children. Her novels include Recipes for a Perfect Marriage, shortlisted for the 2006 Romantic Novel of the Year Award and Ellis Island, which was a TV Book Club Summer Read.

Visit her website:
www.katekerrigan.ie

Or follow her on Twitter:
@katekerrigan

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