The Drifting (61 page)

I
feel
her presence before she steps into the clearing from the Malainisi realm, following close behind is a healed Cessa.  She trots ahead of Lea’ith
, moving toward
me.  She stops in front of me and without hesitation places her large head on my lap.  When I don’t move
, a
sound I’ve never heard her make comes from deep within her.  She mewling; I’m so surprise
d
by the sad sound that I place my hands on her head, stroking the side of her face until she stops.  Once satisfied I’m okay, she lays her body on my feet.  Although heavy, the weight is comforting and I wiggle my toes deeper under her fur.  Even lying down she’s so big that I don’t have to reach down to pet her.  Her head is above my knees and all I have to do is reach forward and she’s there.

I give her a small smile then press my head against hers; giving her a kiss
,
I whisper
,
“Are you all right, girl? 
Thank you for saving me again. 
I wish we could talk instead of me just talking to you.”

“But you can, Lily.”  I look at Lea’ith as she walks up and sits next to me on the bench.  She looks about her, a soft smile on her face as she takes in the garden.  “I use
d
to come here often, most
of the
time to get away from Thilthen.”  She looks at me and laughs at my confused look.  “Oh, child; just because you love someone doesn’t mean you can stand them all the time.  I loved Thilthen more than I can even explain, more than you believe you love Tharin.”  I turn my eyes back on Cessa. 

“It’s unfair how Fate dances with our life lines when she connects the silver
streams
to u
s,” she continues.  “
She’s very spoiled you know, Fate is.  For eons when people think of ‘The Fates’ they see three sisters, old crones bending to the tasks of weaving out the fates of each of us, when in actuality there is only one Fate.  Just one spoiled child of the gods who doesn’t just spin out our destinies, but becomes obsessed with a few million and decides to deal her hand on how they should walk their own paths.  Like I said,” she gives a wink, “spoiled.”

“Is that what she’s doing with Tharin and me?  Dancing around our fate and pulling the strings to our destiny?” I ask.

“Yes, but you must remember that you hold your own destiny.  Fate can whisper in your ear what road you should take, but it’s up to you to make that decision.”

“Can she hurt me, us?”

“No.  We are all restricted by the laws of the universe.  We are given free will and it is up to us to choose our way.  There
is
no right or wrong, but there
is
good and bad.  You need to think your decisions th
r
ough.  You can’t let your random thoughts hide you from making those choices when they count.”

I look at her in surprise.  “How do you know about my random thoughts?”

“Your mother told me,” sh
e answers before looking toward
the tree
s
where she came from. 

“Will she ever speak to me again?” I ask, afraid to hear the answer but need to know.

“I don’t know,” she replies still looking ahead, “what do you think, sister?  Is it not time you spoke with your child face to face?”

Stunned, I look toward the trees, nervously standing.  For a moment nothing happens and I take a step forward as Cessa rises, moving out of my way.  Again, nothing, but I keep
moving forward, my hands clasped
at my chest.  Finally, I call out, “Mom?”

She appears from the darkness like an angel in flight.  She rushes forward, throwing her arms around me, holding on fiercely.  Completely taken off balance
,
I stand for a moment, not returning her embrace.  A moment is all it takes and I return her hug tightly.  Can years of not caring who she or my father
were
, or the anger of abandonment and feeling of a child betrayal be shed in a moment?  I can’t say, but for me…yes, yes it can.  I’ve learn
ed
in just a few weeks and with the death of a good friend, a gentle soul, that life is precious and short lived; and that forgiveness can ease the soul, if not
the
past.

When she pulls away and places her hands on the sides of my face it’s like looking at my future self.  Although she
could pass
for an older sister, there are signs of years of sorrow and anguish in her eyes, eyes like mine.  She hugs me again and then turns me to walk back to the bench where Lea’ith and Cessa wait for us.  Cessa stands and moves toward my mom, greeting her by nudging her hand.  She laughs at the cat and pets her fondly.

Lea’ith moves aside so my mom and I can sit at the bench together.  After looking at us warmly, she signals to Cessa and heads back toward the pando forest, both disappearing into the darkness.  We watch her go and
say
nothing until she was gone.

“I’m sorry,” we both
say
at the same time.  Laughing and unable to look away from each other, she starts
,
“No, I’m sorry.  I should have told you who I was the first time I came to you at
Crowfoot
Mountain
, but I felt it was too soon.  Besides,
I didn’t think you would react in a positive way to find me in your head.”  I have to laugh at the way that sounded, but I know she meant what she said.

“I don’t know how I would’ve reacted.  Things have gone not
quite
the way I thought my life would turn out to be,” I reply
,
chuckling at the understatement.

Shaking her head, “There’s so much we need to talk about, but…”

“But what?” I urge softly.

“But the realm is in danger, Lily.  And you and Tharin will
need each other
to save it.”

I nod, “Yeah, I got that part.  We need to save the realm.”  I think for a moment and then confess, “I have to admit something.  I really don’t know what’s going on but what Sema has told me.  I can’t help but think that she didn’t tell me everything.  It’s like everyone walks around me as if I’m this fragile thing
who
can’t take care of
her
self.”

“Well…
” she starts carefully, “you kind of are, Lily.  You have to remember where you are.  You are Sidhe, but you’re also human, a trait I very much love about you.  But here, the Sidhe are much faster, stronger and even the humans in
this
realm can take out a Navy
SEAL
from your realm without much effort.  What training you received from Ziri and Alorn is only a blink of an eye to what the people here have endured their entire lives.  So, yes, Lily…you need help, even if you don’t believe you do.”

“Great.  So even though I felt that I could’ve done something to help Phoris, I would’ve only been in the way.  Even Tharin stayed with me until I told him to go because he
knew
I was
helpless
, as you say.”

She gives me a curious look, but then looks as if putting a thought away.  “That’s not what I’m saying.”  She turns toward the trees, “Look at the trees, Lily.  Do you know what their purpose is?”

“Um…everyone knows what their purpose is.  They take in carbon dioxide and produce oxygen in order for us to breathe,” I answer
,
shrugging.

“No, Lily.  They produce oxygen so the earth can breathe.  Mother created the trees and plants so that she can breathe, so her First children and the beasts and birds and all the creatures before Sidhe and man were ever a thought in the Creator
’
s conscious
can breathe
.  She was here first, before all else, she was here.”

I think back to the clearing
the first time
Tharin took me there to return to his body.  I remember when I opened myself to the trees to feed them back energy from Milina and Glynnis’ attack.  I felt the weight of time and its passage when there was nothing…only her.  I felt her ache of loneliness, her joy of her creation and the creations that came after her; I felt her pain of loss, tears of mourning from the wars of her First children, to their own realization of loss and truth.  Truth that nothing is forever, not even her.

“We are killing her, Lily.  And saving Velesi is only a part
of it
.”

“I don’t get it,” I say confused.

“What did you think Tharin meant when he said we’re all connected?”

I shrug, “That we share the same energy?”

“No, we share the same earth.  You’re in the Velesi realm
, but
where do you think this realm and Eirrell
’s
realm exists?”

“I never really thought about it.  All this time I just thought we were in a different dimension in space…you know, somewhere out in the universe.”

She gives me an arch
ed
look, “What kind of education did you receive in Pathen?”  I blink at her and she moves on, but not before giving me a look, “What you need to know is that if Eathos returns to Eirrell, he will destroy it after he destroys Velesi.  He will then use the key to find his way to Malainisi, Nortinli, Omakei, Sutha and finally to Pathen.  He will destroy every realm until he has kill
ed
Mother Earth and every living creature on every
one of her plain
s.  You can’t let them open the doorway…but you have to be there as
if
you’re going to.”

“So, you want me to take them to the doorway, but you don’t want me to open the door?”

“Yes, that’s correct.”

“Are you going to share the reason why you want me to do that?”

“You know of the story of Tileanith and her lover?  The Sidhe with no name?  You and Harlu are the last of his blo
od, but he will come to the aid
of his queen.  That’s why Ka needed you to be queen of the realm before taking you to the doorway.  But you must remain a virgin or he won’t come.  If you and Tharin should consummate your marriage, the Unnamed Sidhe will allow your mate to save you, either that or Tharin would have to be killed.  But Tharin is very good at what he does and he has Alorn, Mellis and Phor…”  She stops, realizing that Phoris is no longer with us.  “They are very good, but t
hey won’t be able to save you.
”

“Seriously, that’s how I’m known?  As the ‘virgin queen’?” 

She smiles
warmly. 
“
I don’t know, I’m very proud of you
.”
  She reaches over and moves a lock out of my face.

I turn away, shaking my head.  “
I just want to know w
hy?  Why did they have to kill Phoris and his father?  Why didn’t they go after Tharin or his dad?  Or Ka, himself?”  She gives me a troubling look and I hurry to correct myself.  “I mean, I don’t want anyone to die, it’s just that Phoris was one of the kindest and sweetest people I knew.  He was my friend…and I just want to know why?”  My voice becomes high and I choke back the tears.  She takes my hand and rubs it gently.

“Because Madeas
–
”
S
he hesitates before going on, “Madeas is the realm’s Summoner, the descendent of the original
Summoner
from the rendering.  His line carried the secret to
the location
of
the doorway
to Eirrell.  Once
the location is found,
you would then use the key to open the doorway.
”