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Authors: Fenella J Miller

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      'I've to tell you that I
haven't enjoyed being pregnant, it does not seem to suit me as it does other
women. If our baby is a boy …' His eyes dimmed as if a candle had been blown
out inside him. Surely he did not believe she meant they were not to make love
in future? 'My darling, don't look so conscious, it's because I wish to … to
share myself with you as frequently as possible that I've broached this
delicate subject.'

      The relief on his face was
comical. 'Are you asking me if I know of any ways to avoid a yearly pregnancy?'

      'I am— there must be other
couples who wish to be intimate but don't want an overcrowded nursery. How do
they
manage this situation?'

      He frowned. 'I've no idea,
darling girl, but I promise you I shall find out from someone I'm sure knows
about these things. We have a few weeks before that particular problem presents
itself.'

      Satisfied she could forget
about such matters until the baby was born she settled back to doze leaving him
return to his desk and write the necessary letter. His pen scratching across
the paper and his frequent curses and muttering made her smile. He would always
be irascible, this was part of his nature, but he would never mistreat her
again.

Having him sleeping peacefully
beside her every night improved her own slumbers. Even when they had been first
married he had never remained all night in her bed. Ellie's shock when she came
in that first morning still made them both laugh. Indeed it had been more of an
adjustment for Duncan and her
abigail
than it had been
for them.

      Alexander's valet was unused
to sharing bed chamber duties having taken care of his master, as was
customary, in splendid isolation these past years. For a day or two she feared
Duncan might hand in his notice, but things settled down. As there were two
distinct dressing rooms, and separate chambers where mending and such things
were done, there was no need for the two servants to meet.

The only place there could have
been difficulty was over the bathing room. Mary solved this by appointing a
chambermaid whose sole duty was to keep this room in pristine condition and to
carry up the necessary hot water.

Alexander had been happily
ensconced for a week when Nanny Cooper arrived to take up her position. Isobel
liked her on sight; the woman could be no more than one and thirty and had a
calm practical care about her.

'Nanny, you'll find things are
done differently at Newcomb. The nursery suite is opposite the rooms my husband
and I occupy. It is my intention to feed the baby myself if possible, but I
expect it might be wise to have a wet nurse available just in case.'

Instead of pursing her lips the
woman smiled. 'Your baby will do better being nursed by you, my lady. My
previous employer, Lady Grainger, always did so. When we travelled to house
parties it was always apparent the Grainger children were more robust and happy
than those who had little to do with their parents.'

'I knew as soon as I saw your letter,
Nanny, that
we should get on splendidly. The midwife
is arriving tomorrow and I shall put her in your charge. If there is anything
you require for yourself, or the baby, just speak to the housekeeper, Mrs
Watkins, and it will be arranged.'

      Nanny Cooper curtsied. 'Thank
you, my lady. I'm sure I shall be content here, for all its size, Newcomb is a
happy house.'

      When Alexander climbed in
beside her that night she was eager to tell him how delighted she was with the
new appointment. However no sooner had she settled into his arms than she felt
a flood of liquid pour from her. Horrified that she'd disgraced herself she
cried out in distress but he hushed her with a kiss.

      'That was not your bladder
emptying, my love, it will your waters breaking. Let me help you out of bed and
we can send for assistance.'

      'Good heavens, how do you
know such a thing?'

      'You forget, sweetheart, I've
been through this process twice before.' He found the tinderbox and lit several
candles before returning to her side. 'Although I will admit, my
dear, that
on neither occasion was I drenched when it
happened.'

That light-hearted comment did
much to dispel her fear, but there was no midwife in

residence
. There were four weeks to
her original due date and the baby was on its way.

     

 

     

 

           

Chapter Nineteen

 

'Alexander, come back— you can't go and fetch Nanny Cooper
as you are.'

      He glanced down at his
nakedness and laughed. 'Very well, where the devil is my bed robe?'

      Patiently she directed him to
the heap of navy silk he had tossed carelessly to one side when he'd joined her
ten minutes ago. 'Hurry up, someone must ride for Dr Jamieson and things have
to be prepared downstairs for the delivery.' Isobel tried to control her panic
but her voice was decidedly wobbly.

      In two strides he was back
beside her. 'Darling, the baby won't arrive for several hours, there's no need
to worry. Everything will be ready when the time does come.'

      'That's all very well for you
to say, you're not sitting in a growing puddle feeling as though your insides
are falling out.' With hindsight perhaps she should have mentioned the nagging
backache she'd had all day.

      His expression changed to one
of alarm. 'Isobel, have you had any contractions, any pain before this?'

     
'Only a
backache, no contractions at all.'

      'Stay where you are, I shall
rouse the house. I doubt there will be time to fetch a doctor. We must deliver
the baby ourselves.'

She was about to protest when a
band of pain gripped her stomach quite taking her breath away. A further gush
of water added to her discomfort. She prayed Nanny and Mary had enough
experience between them to deliver this baby. He was quite right, far more likely
to be one hour, than ten, before the infant made his appearance.

      Not wishing to sit in a
soaked chair or continue to wear her ruined nightgown she struggled to her feet
and walked unsteadily to her closet. She needed something dry to put on. As she
was reaching up to remove what she wanted a second contraction almost floored
her. Gasping, unable to keep back the moan of pain, she hung onto the edge of
the shelves waiting for it to pass.

      'My
lady,
whatever are
you doing in here? Here, let me get you into a clean night
rail. Nanny is preparing what's necessary whilst the girls strip the bed and
get it ready.'

      Thankfully Isobel leant back
into Mary's willing arms. 'Even Alexander thought my travail would be long— how
can the baby be almost here after only two contractions?'

      The soiled nightgown was
removed and a clean one dropped over her head. 'Sometimes it can be like this—
you're one of the lucky ones, my lady.'

      Alexander appeared in the
doorway his hair standing on end where he'd raked his hands through. 'Isobel, I
told you to stay put. Now isn't the time to be wandering all over the place.'

      'Go away, Alexander. This
isn't the place for a man— you'll be called to see our baby when he arrives in
due course.'

      His grin was a trifle
lopsided, but he nodded. 'First, my love, I shall help you back to bed and then
I shall wait next-door.'

      Halfway across the carpet she
was convulsed again; having his arms around her was a comfort. Her eyes blurred
with pain and her body was no longer under her control. The band of agony
passed and she could breathe again. Next moment he had picked her up and
carried her as if she weighed nothing at all to place her in the centre of the
prepared bed.

      'I can stay here with you, if
you would find it easier.' The chorus of dissent made him step back shaking his
head apologetically. 'Very well, but I shall be next door if you change your
mind, my dear.'

****

Reluctantly he released his hold, but not before cupping her
face and kissing her gently. He hated to see her suffer in this way. Bitterly
he recalled the agony involved when his two daughters had been born. He prayed
fervently Isobel would not suffer as badly.

      Watkins had ridden to fetch
Jamieson but the way matters were progressing it was unlikely the doctor would
arrive in time for the delivery. The baby was almost four weeks premature, did
this mean it would be a sickly child? Was this because of the fall she'd had
last month?

      He paced the room wincing
every time she cried out. This was happening too fast. It could not be safe for
baby or mother when things were rushed like this. Where was the damned doctor?
He stared at the tall-case clock. It had only been three quarters of an hour
since he had been ejected from the bed chamber. It seemed far longer.

      An ear splitting yell halted
him and he rushed to the door. Nobody was going to keep him away from her, not
when she was in such distress. Bursting in without knocking he was rocked back
on his heels at what he saw.

      A wriggling, red smeared
object still attached to Isobel, was resting on her stomach. Ignoring the
shocked exclamations of the nanny and housekeeper he surged forward.

      'Alexander, you should not be
here, but I'm glad you are. See, we have a daughter, isn't she beautiful?'

      He took Isobel's sweaty hand
and kissed the palm. 'Not as beautiful as her mother. How are you? I heard you
scream, I thought things had gone wrong.'

      'My lord, it isn't seemly for
you to be in here. I must insist you leave at once and allow us to complete the
delivery.'

      'Please, my love, come back
later when everything is clean and tidy.'

      He found himself all but
bundled from the room. As the door closed firmly behind him he realised he had
not looked at his daughter, had been more concerned for his wife than his
child. Would his omission have been noticed?

****

Isobel watched him leave with a heavy heart. He had wanted a
son and was obviously bitterly disappointed they had a daughter instead for
he'd scarcely glanced at her, given her no more attention than a new born
kitten.

      'Lucinda Rose, that's what I
shall call you, little one. I think you're a beautiful little girl, but maybe
I'm a trifle biased.'

      'Shall I take Lady Lucinda
and give her a nice bath, your grace?' Nanny Cooper beamed down at both of
them. She could see how lovely the new arrival was even if her papa could not.

      'Is she a good size, Nanny?
She's almost four weeks early you know.' The baby was gently removed from her
arms and wrapped in a warm towel. Mary was still hovering at the end of the
bed, her work not quite done.

      'Lady Lucinda is a perfect
baby, no smaller than many I've delivered that are full term. I should think
she will weigh about six pounds or perhaps a little more.'

      Isobel flopped back on the
pillows whilst Mary dealt with the arrival of the afterbirth. Thankfully this
was less painful than producing Lucinda. 'I should dearly like a warm bath, is
that allowed so soon after giving birth?'

      Mary smiled. 'You must do as
you please, my lady. I should think a lovely soak would do you a power of good.
I shall arrange for the water to be brought up, then whilst I assist you with
your ablutions, the girls can tidy up in here.'

No one referred to the fact that
Alexander had burst in when he was not wanted or that he had not admired his
new daughter. 'Nanny, when do I get to feed my daughter?'

      'As soon as you're both clean
and tidy I shall return with your baby, my lady.'

      'Mary, I think I had better
remove myself to the bathroom before Dr Jamieson arrives. He's a mite
old-fashioned and will probably expect me to remain in my bed for the next
three weeks. Apart from being a little sore and fatigued I am remarkably well,
the experience was not half as bad as I'd been led to believe.'

      'That's because it was all
over in a flash, next time you might not be so lucky.'

      'I wonder why Lucinda arrived
three and a half weeks early when she isn't a particularly large baby.'

      'You were so big because you
carried excessive amounts of fluid, with your next pregnancy everything
might
be different.'

      This was the second time Mary
had referred to another child, although it was imperative she produced a son eventually,
at the moment the thought of another nine months increasing filled her with
horror. She was eager to get back to riding every morning. Until Alexander
could assure her his attentions would not result in a baby she was going to
make him remain in his old chambers.

They had already agreed that
during her lying in they would sleep apart. One thing was certain; as soon as
they were sharing a bed he would want to make love to her. She had no wish to
carry another child for at least a year, but she would not be incapable of
refusing him.

      Dr Jamieson arrived when she
was safely
back
in her bed with Lucinda suckling
contentedly. Alexander had not reappeared even though word had been sent to him
that both she and the baby were ready to be visited. Where was he? Why didn't
he come?

      'My lady, I don't believe
there is any need to examine either you or the baby. I can see immediately
you're both in excellent health. However, if you'll forgive me, it is better to
be safe than sorry and I shall just give you a cursory look over.'

      After enduring the
indignities of childbirth his examination was as nothing. He declared she was a
perfect mother and should be able to produce any amount of children without
difficulty. She was getting decidedly tired of being told to reproduce as often
as possible. When he left her dawn had broken and the birds were singing as if
in celebration of the new arrival.

      Nanny had taken the infant to
the nursery insisting a new mother must sleep. She had promised to return when
Lucinda needed her next feed. Still
he
didn't come.

The joy of holding her baby for
the first time was dimmed by his absence. Eventually she gave in to her worries
and asked Ellie to discover where he was. It would be impossible to sleep until
she knew.

      Fifteen minutes trickled past
before her
abigail
returned. 'My lady, we have
searched the house as best we can and can't discover him anywhere. Should we
make enquiries in the stable yard?'

      'No, Ellie, you get to your
bed— no doubt everything will be made clear in the morning.'

      Instead of falling into a
satisfied slumber Isobel curled up and buried her face in the pillows fighting
back her tears. This should have been a wonderful time, a shared experience.
Why had he abandoned them now?

****

Alexander stared at the closed door tempted to knock, to
insist he be allowed in to hold his baby, but he knew this would be unpopular.
Men were not wanted when babies were born. He must find something to occupy his
time until his two darlings were ready to receive him.

      Taking a candlestick he
wandered downstairs and into his study. It would be dawn soon, he would open
the shutters and the French doors and stretch out on the day bed and listen to
the birds. When the sun came up he would rouse Duncan, get himself shaved and
return to Isobel and his daughter.

      He should have found himself
some clothes before he left. He could hardly be discovered dozing downstairs
with nothing on but his bed-robe. All his garments were now installed in the
closets at the rear of the house and he couldn't go back there for the moment.
Devil take
it! However, there were still some items in the
guest rooms he'd occupied in the east wing.

      Exiting via the doors that
lead onto the terrace he headed for the east side of the house. By the time he
found a window he could prise up, his feet were sore and he was more than a
little irritated. All the rooms were under covers whilst the workmen improved
the kitchens, installed bathing rooms, and repaired the roof.

      Several times he trod on
something sharp and his cursing echoed through the empty building. When he
reached his destination he lit several candles before searching the closet. He
was delighted to discover all the necessary undergarments, a pair of decent
breeches and a shirt. However, the only footwear that had been abandoned here
were evening slippers which looked decidedly odd, but were better than
continuing with bare feet.

      There was still an hour
before full light dawn, he would stretch out on his bed and catch up on his
missed sleep. There was plenty of time before he could present himself at
Isobel's door. As he stretched out his eyes misted. He was the luckiest man in
England. Six months ago he had been in despair, now he had a wife and daughter
and the rest of his life to look forward to.

The sound of banging and
hammering woke him. He jolted awake. Dammit to hell! He'd overslept— Isobel
must wonder what had become of him. As he raced back through the house workmen
scattered in all directions— buckets were dropped, ladders toppled over but he
ignored the chaos. Would the feeble explanation that he'd fallen asleep be
enough to make up for his disastrous lack of attention to his new daughter and
wife?

****

'There you are, little one, I don't think you could take
another morsel even if you tried.' Isobel rested the baby on her shoulder and
rubbed her back as Nanny Cooper had shown her. It would seem infants needed to
bring up their wind before they could settle back to sleep.

      The tall clock in the sitting
room struck for the third time since she'd awoken, the time was now seven
o'clock. Alexander had been absent for five hours. She could think of no reason
for him being away from her side unless he'd ridden off to hide his
disappointment at her failure to provide him with his much wanted son. For all
his protestations that he would prefer a dozen daughters if it meant she would
remain at his side, his absence demonstrated his disappointment.

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