The Egyptian (31 page)

“I am indifferent to presents,” I said. “Knowledge is of more value to me than gold, and to increase it I have journeyed in many countries so that I am now familiar with the gods of Babylon and of the Hittites. I hope to acquaint myself with the god of Crete, of whom I have heard much that is marvelous, and who loves virgins and pure boys in contrast to the gods of Syria, whose temples are pleasure houses and who are served by castrated priests.”

“We have a great number of gods whom the people worship,” he replied. “In the harbor there are temples to the glory of foreign gods, where you may make sacrifice to Ammon or the Baal of the port if you so desire. But I would not mislead you, and acknowledge that the might of Crete depends upon that god who has been worshiped in secret from as far back in time as our knowledge goes. The initiates alone may know him, and that only when they meet him face to face. No one has returned to tell us of his shape.”

“The gods of the Hittites are the heavens and the rain that falls from the heavens and fructifies the earth. The god of Crete I understand to be the god of the sea since the wealth and power of Crete derive from the sea.”

“Perhaps you are right, Sinuhe,” he said with a strange smile. “Know, however, that we Cretans worship a living god, differing herein from the people of the mainland who worship dead gods and images of wood. Our god is no image although bulls are accounted as his symbols, and as long as our god lives, so long endures the Cretan sovereignty of the seas. Thus it has been foretold, and we are assured of it though we also put great trust in our warships, with which no other seafaring nation can compete.”

“I have heard that your god dwells in the mazes of a dark mansion,” I persisted. “I would gladly see this labyrinth, of which I have heard much. But I do not understand why the initiates never return from it, though they have permission to do so when they have been there for the space of one moon.”

“The highest honor, the profoundest bliss, that can fall to the lot of an initiate is to enter the mansion of the god,” said Minotauros, repeating words I had heard countless times before. “Therefore the islands in the sea vie with one another in sending their fairest maidens and the flower of their young men to dance before the bulls so that they may take part in the drawing of lots. I do not know whether you have heard stories of the sea god’s mansions; life there is altogether different from that which we know so that no one who has entered it desires to return to the torment and sorrow of the world. How say you, Minea? Do you fear to enter?”

Minea made no reply and I said, “I have seen the bodies of seamen washed up on the beach at Smyrna; their faces and bellies were swollen, and no joy was reflected in their features. That is all I know of the mansions of the sea god, but I do not doubt your word, and I wish all good to Minea.”

Minotauros said coldly, “You shall see the labyrinth for the night of the full moon is near, and upon that night Minea will enter the house of the god.”

“And if she refuse?” I demanded fiercely, for his words angered me and froze my heart with despair.

“Such a thing has never happened. Be easy, Sinuhe the Egyptian. When Minea has danced before the bulls she will enter the god’s house of her own free will.”

He donned the golden bull’s head once more as a signal that we might retire, and his face was hidden from us. Minea took my hand and led me away; she was no longer happy.

Kaptah was at the inn when I returned and had drunk copiously in the wine shops of the harbor. He said to me, “Lord, for servants this land is the Western Land; no one beats them or remembers how much gold was in his purse or what jewels he had. If a master be wroth with his servant and order him to leave his house, the servant has but to hide himself and return the following day when his master has forgotten the whole matter.”

This he said in his customary manner as if he were drunk, but then he shut the door, and having assured himself that no one was listening, he went on, “Lord, strange things are coming to pass in this country. The seamen in the wine shops say that the god of Crete has died and that the priests in great fear are seeking a new god. This is dangerous talk for which sailors have already been hurled from the clifftop to be devoured by cuttlefish, for it has been foretold that the might of Crete will crumble when the god dies.”

A wild hope blazed up in my heart. I said to Kaptah, “On the night of the full moon Minea is to enter the house of that god. If he is indeed dead—and it may be so, for the people come to know all things at last though no one tell them—then Minea will perhaps come back to us from the god’s house, whence no one has hitherto returned.”

On the following day I secured a good place in the great amphitheater whose stone benches rose up like steps one behind the other so that everyone could see the bulls without difficulty. I greatly admired this cunning device, never having seen another like it; in Egypt, at processions and displays, high platforms are erected that all may behold the god and the priests and those who dance.

The bulls were let into the ring one by one, and each dancer in turn carried out a routine that was complex and exacting. It included many different feats, which must all be faultlessly performed in a prescribed order. Most difficult of all was the leap between the horns and from there the back somersault into the air, which must end with the dancer standing on the bull’s back. Not even the most proficient could execute the whole without some fault, for much depended on the behavior of the beast, how it stood, charged, or lowered its head. The wealthy and eminent of Crete made wagers among themselves at every event, each backing his favorite. When I had seen a few of these, I could not understand their eagerness, for the bulls all looked alike to me, and I could not distinguish one event from the next.

Minea also danced, and I feared for her life until her marvelous agility and skill so bewitched me that I forgot her danger and rejoiced with the rest. Here the girls danced naked, and the boys also, for so treacherous was the sport that the smallest garment would have hindered their movements and imperiled their lives. To my thinking Minea was the loveliest of all as she danced there, her skin gleaming with oil, although I must admit that among the rest were some exceedingly beautiful girls who won great applause. But I could spare no glance for any but Minea. Compared with the others she was out of practice by reason of her long absence, and she won not a single garland. Her old patron, who had wagered on her success, was full of bitterness and resentment until he forgot the silver he had lost and went to the stables to make fresh bets, which as Minea’s patron he had a right to do.

When I met Minea in the bulls’ house after the performance, she looked about her and said to me coldly, “Sinuhe, I shall see you no more, for my friends have invited me to a feast; also I must prepare for my god since the moon is full the night after tomorrow. Therefore, it is likely that we shall not meet again before I enter the house of the god, unless you would care to accompany me thither with the rest of my friends.”

“So be it,” I said. “I have much to see in Crete; the customs and also the clothes of the women divert me greatly. As I sat watching your performance, several of your women friends invited me to their houses, and I found delight in gazing on their faces and their breasts—even though these women were a little fatter and more frivolous than you.”

She seized me by the arms in a fury; her eyes blazed and her breath came quickly as she said, “I forbid you to make merry among my friends when I am absent! For my sake you should wait until I have gone, Sinuhe. And though doubtless in your eyes I am too thin—which never occurred to me before-yet do this out of friendship for me since I ask it of you.”

“It was a jest. I have no wish to trouble your peace since you have doubtless much to do before you enter the house of the god. I will return therefore to my inn and heal the sick, for in the harbor are many who need my help.”

I left her, and for a long while afterward the smell of the horned beasts was in my nostrils. Never shall I forget the smell of the Cretan stables, and to this day, when I see a herd and catch the scent of it, I am seized with sickness and cannot eat, and my heart aches in my breast. Nevertheless, I went from her to my patients at the inn; I treated them and soothed their suffering until darkness fell and lamps were lit in the pleasure houses of the harbor. Through the walls came the sound of music and laughter—for even slaves had caught the carefree manners of their masters, each living as if he would never die and as if pain, grief, and loss had no existence.

It was dark; I sat in my room, where Kaptah had already spread my sleeping mat, in darkness, for I would have no lamp lit. The moon rose large and bright but not yet quite full, and I hated the moon because it was to sever me from the only one in the world who was my sister. I also hated myself for being weak and timid and uncertain of my own desires. Then the door opened, and Minea came cautiously in. She was no longer dressed in the Cretan manner but wore the same simple dress in which she had danced for the mighty and the humble of many lands, and her hair was bound with a golden ribbon.

“Minea!” I cried in amazement. “Why have you come? I thought you were preparing for your god.”

She said, “Speak softly, for I do not want others to hear us.”

She sat close against me and staring at the moon she went on quaintly, “I do not like my sleeping place in the house of bulls, and I am not as happy among my friends as formerly. But why I should come to visit you at this inn in the harbor, which is so unseemly a thing to do, I cannot tell you. Should you wish to sleep, however, I shall not disturb you—I will go.

“I could not sleep and I felt a craving for the old smell of drugs and herbs; I wanted to pinch Kaptah’s ear once more and pull his hair for the nonsense he talks. Travels and strange peoples have distracted me so that I no longer feel at home among the bulls nor elated at the applause on the field, and I do not even long for the god’s house as before. The talk of those about me is like the babbling of silly children, their mirth is like sea froth on the beach, and their pleasures are no pleasures to me. My heart is a void, and my head also is empty; there is no single thought that I can call my own. Everything is pain, and I have never in my life known such distress. I beg you, therefore, to hold my hand again as you used to do. I fear no evil—not even death—as long as you hold my hands, Sinuhe, though I know only too well that you would prefer to look on plumper and more beautiful women than I am and hold their hands.”

I said to her, “Minea, my sister! My childhood and youth were like a clear, deep-running brook. My manhood was a great river, which spread and spread, covering much soil, but its waters were turgid, and they settled into foul, stagnant pools. But when you came to me, Minea, you gathered up all these waters; they poured joyously down a deep channel so that all within me was cleansed. The world smiled at me, and evil was easily brushed aside. For your sake I sought goodness; I healed the sick without regard to gifts, and the dark gods had no power over me. Thus it was when you came. Now that you go, the light goes also, and my heart is like a lonely crow in the desert. I bear good will to no one any more. I hate men, and I hate the gods and will not hear them spoken of.

“So it is with me, Minea, and therefore I tell you: In the world are many countries but only one river. Let me carry you with me to the Black Land by the shores of that river, where wild duck cry in the reeds and every day the sun rows across the heavens in his golden boat. Come with me, Minea; we will break a jar together and be man and wife, never more to part from one another. Life will be easy for us, and when we die, our bodies will be preserved so that we may meet in the Western Land and live there together forever.”

But she crushed my hands in hers; she touched my eyelids, my mouth, and my throat with her finger tips and said, “Sinuhe, if I would, I could not follow you, for there is not a single ship that would carry us from Crete, and no captain would dare to conceal us on board. I am guarded already for my god’s sake, and I will not allow you to be slain for mine. I cannot go with you. Since I have danced before the bulls, their will is stronger than my will though I cannot explain this to you because you have not felt it. Therefore on the night of the full moon I must enter the god’s house, and no power on earth can prevent me. Why it is I do not know—and it may be that no one knows but Minotauros.”

My heart was like an empty tomb in my breast as I said, “No one knows what tomorrow will bring, and I cannot believe that you will return from that house. In the golden mansions of the sea god you may drink eternal life from his fountain, forgetting all earthly things—forgetting even me-though I believe none of this. It is a fairy tale, and nothing that I have yet seen in any country inclines me to believe fairy tales. Know, therefore, that if you have not returned within the allotted time I will enter the god’s house myself and fetch you. I will fetch you even if you do not wish to return. This is my purpose, Minea, were it to be my last act upon earth.”

But she laid her hand on my mouth in terror and glancing about her exclaimed, “Hush! You must never utter such things-or even think them. The god’s house is dark, and no stranger can find his way in it. For a noninitiate there lurks a frightful death. Nor would you be able to make your way in, for it is guarded by gates of copper. I am glad of that, knowing that in your madness you might really do as you say and hurl yourself to destruction. Believe me, I will come back of my own free will, for my god cannot be so malignant as to hinder me from coming back to you if I so desire. He is a most fair and lovely god, who guards the might of Crete and bears good will toward everyone, so that the olive trees flourish and grain ripens in the fields and ships sail from port to port. He directs the winds in our favor and guides the vessels when they are beset by fog, and no evil befalls those under his protection. Why then should he feel ill will toward me?”