The Elf Girl (25 page)

“Finn…you monster…,” we said, hardly able to speak through the burning.

I now knew the fairy’s name. Even though it was hard to do because of the strong connection with Zora’s mind, I said it repeatedly so I would remember it in my own mind for the future. Finn shook his head silently. “I’m no monster, Zora. I only did what was necessary.”

“I…will…never…tell…,” we told him, determination in our joined voices.

“I don’t believe you, Zora. Your father told me even though he said he wouldn’t. Of course, it wasn’t enough information, because if it was, I wouldn’t have needed you. He only told me that Ramsey had a secret, a very powerful one at that, concerning both fairies and elves. You need to tell me what that secret is. I know he told you. I could see it in his eyes that he knew, and I can see it in yours that you know as well.”

“NEVER!” we screamed.

We had made a huge mistake. I didn’t think the pain could get any worse, but now it was an icy kind of fire, freezing our limbs as it washed through our very veins. It would have been easy to succumb to the darkness, let go of what tied me to life. I couldn’t give up, though, because so many depended on me, especially Zora. But it was tremendously difficult to stay conscious. I had never felt such torture. I was running out of words to describe how miserable these feelings were. I imagined they were even worse for Zora, because she was actually experiencing the pain, not just feeling it like I was.

Finn chuckled. “I can see that your life is dwindling. You will tell me soon, Zora. When you do, your life will end quickly and there will be no more suffering. I know you don’t want to bear this for the few days you have left. Let me know when you have had enough. Wynter is just outside as always. Just speak her name and she will call for me,” Finn said.

He turned and flew out of the room. Without the fiery light from his wings, the room returned to partial darkness.

After that, everything was thrown into chaos. Suddenly released from part of the connection with Zora, I fell over onto the wooden floor. I wrapped my arms around my body, trying to pull myself together. I was afraid of falling apart if I let go. My breath came out in sharp gasps. I could barely breathe. I looked over at Zora. Her eyes were closed tightly, and she was slowly rocking back and forth, as if she was trying to fight the pain. I knew just by looking at her that it wouldn’t work. Her condition had worsened. She was broken. Only I could put her back together again, by finding and saving her.

If I didn’t accomplish this soon, she would die this way.

“Find me, Ramsey,” she said, almost too quiet for me to understand.

“I will, Zora. I promise that I will save you…no matter what it takes,” I told her.

The room began to spin, and the Mood Diamond glowed brighter than before. I shook my head to keep away the dizziness, but nothing changed. The room just spun faster and faster.

“Zora, what’s happening?” I cried.

“Don’t look for me in the...Realm!” she screamed with every ounce of energy she had left as the room continued to spin around before my eyes.

“Which Realm?” I asked her.

“The…”

Before she could say any more, everything was total darkness once again….

Screams echoed from my lungs as I sat up in bed. My hands flew over my heart and pressed against it tightly. I felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. The burning subsided, but in its place was a terrible aching, the aching of loss. I had finally experienced what everyone else had when the fairies took Zora. I now knew what it was like to lose her. I hated the feeling. It hurt even worse than the burning fire and Zora’s pain put together, because this pain wasn’t physical. It was emotional. And it wouldn’t end. Nothing could make it go away, nothing, except to have Zora at my side.

The connection was the worst thing I had ever experienced. I was afraid. I couldn’t believe it had been so
real
. I was terrified; I never wanted to feel that way again. The pain, the burning, the way Finn’s eyes glinted in the darkness of the room…all were images I couldn’t erase from my mind no matter how hard I tried. I couldn’t stop feeling this way. I felt as though fear was now a part of me, and that scared me more than anything else did.
Fear of fear….

The burning was still there, only it had now concentrated around my neck area where the Mood Diamond still lay glowing. I wanted to rip it off, but I couldn’t remove my hands from my heart. I was too afraid of the risk, afraid of the pain that could ensue.

I hadn’t realized I was still screaming until Stellan – Addison and Aaliyah following closely behind – ran into my room. The screaming turned into sobs as Stellan sat on the bed and cradled me. He wrapped his arms around me, trying to stop me from shaking. I wanted to stop. I was begging God to let me stop. I couldn’t. The shaking continued and the sobbing continued as Stellan rocked me back and forth. Seconds, then minutes passed, and nothing changed.

“Oh my God, Stellan, look what that Mood Diamond did to her! What had Zora been thinking by giving her that necklace? It could have killed her!” Addison cried.

I could see through my tears that she was pacing back and forth in the room. Her clenched fists made her knuckles paler than the rest of her skin. It reminded me of Zora and my sobs grew louder.

“She won’t stop, Mother. What can we do?” I heard Stellan ask.

I could hear the pain in his voice.
Seeing me like this must be killing him
, I thought, surprised that I could still think coherently. But I could do nothing to end this agonizing trance.

“I…I don’t know,” Aaliyah said.

“Give her a memory. Give her something that can make her feel better,” Stellan suggested.

“I think that would make things worse,” Aaliyah admitted.

“Just do something…anything! I can’t take seeing her this way!” Addison screamed.

I could feel Aaliyah’s hands slip into mine. I tried pulling away, because I didn’t want my hands to leave my heart, but she only held me tighter.

“Think of the orchard, Ramsey. Think. Believe.”

I couldn’t do what she asked. My mind couldn’t wrap itself around the word. Images of Finn and Zora assaulted my mind, creating a barrier to Aaliyah’s ability. I cried out, louder, in frustration.
Please let me see the memory!
, I begged. Aaliyah started repeating the word “orchard.” Soon she was almost as loud as my screaming. But the terrible images of blood and fire lingered, resonating within me. The sultry voice of the fire fairy, Finn, echoed in my mind. I shut my eyes tighter, but the pictures wouldn’t go away. I prayed to see the orchard, but I just couldn’t break through the barrier of horror that was blocking me from seeing beauty.

Then, finally, my prayers were answered.

A beautiful image…the orchard fairyland. Sunlight streamed through the trees, making the grass sparkle. Everything was peaceful and serene. The beauty soothed my pain. I saw the plump, ripe fruit, and patches of flowers here and there, and I felt that I could breathe again. Little animals ran around and burrowed deep into their holes. In the distance, I could hear Mac humming his cheerful tune...

I was myself again. I could control my thoughts. I could stop shaking. My sobs continued, but they became quieter and less frequent. I whimpered softly in Stellan’s arms.

“There,” Aaliyah said, releasing my hands from her tight grip.

I instinctively placed them around Stellan’s neck and buried my face in his chest. I wanted to run away from the pain that was slowly departing from me. I wanted to hide from it so it couldn’t come back.

A dull ache still flickered in my heart. I understood it wouldn’t go away until I found Zora. It was crazy, but I decided I wanted this pain to stay for a while; having it would motivate me and make me stronger. I could bear this pain, because it would push me farther than before.

“Thank you, Mother. I don’t know how much more I could have taken. Hearing her like that…it was awful,” Addison said, shivering.

I watched, although my vision was blurred by tears, as Addison covered her face with her hands and fell back onto Zora’s bed.

“Yes, it was, Addison. However, do not blame Zora. She did only what she had to do,” Aaliyah explained quietly.

Stellan remained silent as he focused on soothing me, still rocking me like a small child. I was afraid to meet his eyes. I didn’t like being so vulnerable, but his hand lifted from me as he stroked my sweat-streaked hair, and I let go of my pride, allowing his comfort to soothe and heal me. My eyes closed.

The last thing I heard before falling asleep was, “Everything is okay now.”

No matter how much I wanted to believe Stellan, I knew he was terribly wrong.

~10~
It isn’t Nice to Stare

Sunlight streamed through my window and brutally struck my eyes like a punch to my face. I winced at the brightness and covered my face with my blanket. Could it really be morning already? I focused on the time and realized it was almost five.

Yawning, I sat up in bed and stretched. I had to blink a few times to adjust to the bright light of morning. I was stiff and aching all over. At first, I couldn’t remember why I ached so much. It took a moment for me to remember everything from last night. The realization hit me harder than the sunlight.

I shut my eyes tight.
No…the pain won’t come back again,
I told myself. I wasn’t so sure of that, though. I placed my right hand on my chest. Nothing there. The Mood Diamond was gone. I guessed Stellan or Addison took it when I fell asleep the night before. I would have to get it back. I still didn’t know where Zora was, so I would have to try again, even though I dreaded what might happen. Nothing mattered except finding Zora. I had to go back and experience the vision again, no matter how painful.

At that moment, however, I was glad I wasn’t wearing the necklace. The terrible vision could not return until it hung around my neck once more. I needed time before I tried again; time to recuperate, gather my thoughts, and collect myself.

I rubbed my eyes, sore from crying the night before, and got out of bed. I had to steady myself to keep from falling over as my feet hit the ground. I shook my head to clear away the dizziness. Last night’s connection with Zora had taken a huge toll on both my body and my mind. I walked quickly to the bathroom and jumped in the shower. The steam I breathed in cleared my head, and the water massaged the tension in my back. If only I could stay in there forever….

It took a good twenty minutes to feel clean again. Even though it had only been a vision, the time with Zora in the dirty room had left me feeling disgusting and unclean. After wrapping myself in a towel and combing my hair, I left the bathroom to get dressed. As I walked into the bedroom, I came face to face with Addison.

Her sudden appearance made me jump. “Holy crap, you scared me!” I gasped, taking two steps back.

“Sorry, Ramsey, I didn’t mean to frighten you,” she said.

Her eyes looked full of worry and concern. She reminded me of my human mother for a brief moment. I had never experienced this side of Addison. I wondered if last night’s occurrences had led to this, or if I just hadn’t noticed the tenderness she had within her until now when I was really paying attention.

“Sorry, I’m easily spooked,” I said. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been here all night,” she said.

My brow furrowed in confusion. “What?”

“You must be really out of it. I stayed in Zora’s bed last night. I couldn’t let you sleep alone. Not after what happened….”

“You don’t need to remind me,” I told her, looking down at the wooden floor beneath my feet.

“I know,” she replied, averting my gaze so we were both looking at the floor like it was the most interesting thing in the room.

I sighed and my shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry.”

“About what?” she asked, looking up at me.

“Being like this. Being vulnerable and out of it.”

“It’s not your fault, Ramsey! What happened to you was
not
your
fault
.”

“Stop saying that like it’s true, Addison. Stop acting like none of this is my fault. I should have handled it better. I wasn’t prepared. I had no idea….”

“No one can know what a connection is like until they have experienced it.
No one
,” she emphasized.

“How could you possibly know that?” I asked her.

“I know…because it happened to me,” she said quietly.

Startled, I took a step away from her. “With who?” I wondered aloud.

“My father. He and my mother each had a Mood Diamond once. When he left for war, they used it to keep in touch. Not all connections are bad, Ramsey, as long as you handle them carefully. These connections are used often for long distance relationships. However, they can turn horribly wrong in an instant. One day I took my mother’s diamond and wore it. I missed my father, and wanted to see him again. I hated him being at war and not able to take care of me as he used to. I concentrated on him and a few minutes later, I was in a war zone. There was fighting all around me. Element fairies and elves in a swarm, swords clanking, blood everywhere. The stench of death hung in the air. I saw my father fighting with a water fairy. It was the first and last time I saw him kill someone.”

Addison drew a shaky breath and leaned against the wall for support. I went to put a hand on her shoulder, but thought again and decided not to bother her. Telling this story was difficult for her, and interrupting her in the middle of her thoughts wouldn’t help her finish sooner.

“When he saw me, he ran and scooped me up into his arms. I hugged him tight and told him I wanted to go home. I touched his Mood Diamond by accident. It was then that we truly connected. I found myself seeing through his eyes. I screamed and cried. I wanted so badly to be back at home. I was confused and scared. I was so upset I didn’t see the earth fairy come and shove a rock-sharp spear into my father’s chest.”