The End of Gods (A Welcome to the Underworld Novel, Book 4) (43 page)

He closed his eyes in exasperation. “Yoo—”

“Did you not see how Young Jae looked at Anna when she died?” she cried at once. “Do you want that type of hell for either of us?”

She shook her head again. She was unwilling to put herself in a situation where she would experience even half of what Young Jae went through. A part of him died with his wife. A part of him died, and Yoori did not want a part of her to die if anything were to happen to Tae Hyun. If she completely gave her heart to Tae Hyun, then this tragedy was possible. And she wasn’t strong enough for it. She was not strong enough to withstand such a cruel fate.

Yoori stared at him with tormented eyes. “I told you that I wasn’t strong enough to be human with you. I told you—that even as Yoori—I did not want to be with you because I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. It’s not worth it, and I’m not risking a lifetime of misery for a few stolen moments with you. I can’t do that. I’m
not
doing that!”

She knew how cowardly she sounded, but being fearless was her last priority. This was about self-preservation. There was too high of a chance that only misery would await them if they stayed together. Yoori could not endure that type of aftermath. She’d rather die than be forced to bear it alone.

For a long lingering minute, all Tae Hyun did was hold her pained gaze in his eyes. When she tried to turn away, his hand caught her chin.

He gently guided her gaze back to him.

“Nemo,” he whispered, easily holding her prisoner to his words. “I saw how Young Jae looked at Anna when she died. I saw the hell he went through. That’s why I’m here right now, that’s why I want to run away with you. There’s no guarantee that we’ll survive past the forty-eight hours mark. The only guarantee we have right now is a choice to ignore all of our fears and allow ourselves to be swept into something we’ve been yearning our entire lives for. I could spend an eternity in hell if I could have five more minutes with you. I would happily endure any hell if I could be with you—alone, together, and completely in love. I’d rather do this than spend a lifetime of misery alone, wishing I had you by my side.”

His finger grazed her cheek.

“This will be worth it,” he promised her earnestly. “I promise that this time, it will all be worth it.” 

Yoori’s heart expanded as she processed his words—his promises. She wished that she were strong enough to accept it; she wished she were strong enough to believe it. But she was no longer the fool that Yoori once was. The coward in her would not allow her to risk what was left of her heart.

Tae Hyun smiled sadly at her silence. Instead of resenting her for her cowardice, he nodded understandably.

“Think about it. Just think about it,” he told her before walking away to give her time to think—to deliberate everything before making her final decision. “When you’re ready, you know where to find me.”

“Is Kwon Tae Hyun worth it?”

23: Every Stubborn Inch of It

Fear.

Nothing but fear and apprehension accompanied Yoori during her aimless walk in the hospital corridors. The pain assaulting her body was no match for the heartache she was experiencing. The events of the day replayed like a vivid film in her mind: her failed plan to give Tae Hyun the Underworld throne, Anna’s death, the hatred in her brother’s eyes, their meeting with Min Hyuk, and the most prominent of her memories—her recent conversation with Tae Hyun.

Her congested mind churned at a relentless speed.

If she chose not to run away with him, then she would never know the type of hell her brother and Tae Hyun’s mother experienced when the love of their lives were taken from them. Tae Hyun was the only person on earth who could carry her to the highest of highs and bring her to the lowest of lows. What would become of her if she gave up everything and ran off with him? What would happen if she gave him her entire heart and he was taken from her? Her heart ached at the very thought. She would happily die for him to live, but she did not think she could survive if he was taken from her, if she had to watch him die. 

Don’t go with him
, a fearful voice in her mind pleaded.
Please don’t be human with him. Humans die, humans feel pain, humans go through hell, but Gods don’t. Gods are numb, Gods are stoic, and Gods will never go through hell.

Yoori took in a deep breath, looking upward to prevent the tears from overtaking her eyes. She was so incredibly overwhelmed. If only it was easier to make this decision. She would give anything for her life to be much simpler.

As she took in another shaky breath, her eyes involuntarily strayed into a hospital bedroom. She came to a halt when she spotted someone she recognized. The Queen within her prohibited Yoori from walking into the hospital room. It warned her to not seek any interaction with this person. Her human side, on the other hand, had no such reservation. It wanted to speak to this person, to see how this person was doing. Given that she was the very reason why this girl was at the hospital, Yoori concluded that it was only right that she went in to see her. The girl would be a good distraction to her congested mind.

“Jin Ae,” Yoori called, walking into the room.

Jin Ae, who was resting on the bed and staring out the window, turned her head. Her eyes enlarged after she observed that it was Yoori who called out her name. She rocketed up into a sitting position.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jin Ae spat out, making no effort to conceal her animosity towards Yoori. Her cold eyes watched as Yoori approached her bed. “Came to finish the job?”

Yoori curiously appraised Jin Ae. Albeit her face appeared to be healing, Jin Ae’s arm was still shielded with a cast. Despite her aversion for Jin Ae, she could not deny how awful she felt to see Jin Ae in this predicament.

Ji Hoon had orchestrated Chae Young’s rape and framed the entire thing on Jin Ae. Like a fool, Yoori fell for the ploy and went after Jin Ae like a bloodthirsty animal. She not only beat the girl senseless, but she was also one step away from ending Jin Ae’s life. Fortunately, Tae Hyun pulled her away in time. He saved Jin Ae’s life, and he saved Yoori from killing the wrong person. Because of this transgression, Yoori had already decided to let bygones be bygones with Jin Ae. They were more than even.

“If I wanted to finish the job,” Yoori began patiently, “I would’ve snapped your neck apart before greeting you.” She uncomfortably gave off a shrug. She did not know how to tell Jin Ae that she simply wanted to make sure she was recovering well. After a pregnant pause, she decided to just come out with it. “How are you?”

Jin Ae squared her shoulders. It was clear in her eyes that she harbored a large amount of resentment for Yoori. She did not believe Yoori’s intentions were as diplomatic as she was making them out to be. “How do you think I am,
Soo Jin
?”

The emphasis on her birth name triggered a smile to grace Yoori’s lips. Although Jin Ae was condemned to this hospital bed, she was still up to date in the happenings of their society. “I see you’ve been apprised of all Underworld business.”

“I was hoping you’d die in the battle with Tae Hyun.”

Straight and to the point. Jin Ae definitely had all the qualities of an Underworld citizen.

Yoori flashed Jin Ae a mocking grin. “Sorry to disappoint you.”

“Well . . .” Jin Ae swallowed tightly at the reminder of Tae Hyun. Her lower lip quivered in dread. “Did you kill him?”

The concern in Jin Ae’s voice stupefied her. Yoori slanted her head with curiosity. “After everything that happened, you’re still infatuated with Tae Hyun?”

“He’s the love of my life,” Jin Ae stated simply.

There came another statement that evaded her understanding. Yoori arched a brow of inquiry. She was not sure that Jin Ae understood the gravity behind her own words.

“If he’s the love of your life, why did you cheat on him with Ji Hoon?”

“Because I didn’t want him to get bored and leave me,” Jin Ae responded, cringing at her own immature answer. Given that she had time to grow up and reflect, it was evident that she saw how foolish her logic was. Jin Ae smirked to herself. “I wanted to make him jealous. Little did I know, he would leave me regardless because he found you instead.” Her eyes teemed with contempt for Yoori. To this day, she still resented Yoori for stealing “the love of her life” from her. “And Ji Hoon, Ji Hoon was just a nice distraction. I actually thought he was nicer, but when that fucker framed me for what happened to your friend, the entire ‘nice guy’ persona went down the toilet. Considering I got the shit beat out of me because of him, it’s safe to say I hate that fucking bastard.”

A wider smile curved on Yoori’s lips. Anyone who detested Ji Hoon was a friend in her book. Now that the ice had been broken between them, she decided that there was no harm in staying with Jin Ae for a few moments longer. Tae Hyun had left her with the decision of a lifetime, and she did not mind the distraction from Jin Ae.

She moved from the other side of the room to sit on the foot of Jin Ae’s bed.

“Why aren’t you apologizing to me for the unnecessary beating?” Jin Ae asked as she watched Yoori with weary eyes.

Yoori was sitting with her hands on her knees. She stared out the large hospital window. Outside, the snowstorm was still going strong.

“You deserved the beating,” Yoori stated coolly, maintaining her gaze on the falling snow. “If not for that crime, then your crimes in the past. I haven’t forgotten how you treated me when I was just an innocent and unsuspecting girl. No girl should ever be put through the hell of being raped, but you sent your men to attack me like I was a piece of shit.” She turned to face Jin Ae with stern eyes. “Are you not embarrassed as a woman to do that to another woman?”

Jin Ae’s bruised face was void of remorse. She tilted her chin up in a defiant manner. “I don’t give a flying fuck.”

Yoori regulated the fury that set a fire in her blood. The temptation to punch some sense in Jin Ae tingled in her clenched fist. She took a deep breath to curb her temper. She had already beaten the shit out of the girl. As far as she was concerned, Jin Ae had met her quota with Yoori. She was not allowed to punch Jin Ae anymore in this lifetime, especially not for a reason as silly as being an annoyance to her.

Calmed by her own reasoning, she exercised further patience by asking, “Have you ever had your men rape anyone? Have you ever actually killed anyone?”

A long silence suspended over Jin Ae. It took a few breaths before she honestly answered, “No.”

Yoori nodded expectantly. She understood now why this stupid little girl was acting so high and mighty. The truth was: Jin Ae was all bark and no bite. She never had to get her hands dirty because she never had to kill anyone. She was essentially an untainted Royal who still had her soul.

“I thought your uncle would’ve trained you,” Yoori murmured more to herself than to Jin Ae.

“I’ve had my men beat people up, but I’m not very good with training. I came to my uncle when I was fifteen, right after my parents died,” Jin Ae told Yoori, affirming her suspicions that she was a late bloomer.

The majority of the Underworld heirs received their training at a young age. They were to start losing their souls by the age of ten, become monsters by fifteen, and turn into Gods by the age of eighteen. The fact that Jin Ae came to Ju Won at fifteen meant that he had never anticipated this life for her. She was given enough training to survive in this world, not to rule over it.

“Apparently I didn’t start young enough.” There was bitterness in Jin Ae’s voice as she looked at Yoori. “I’ve always wished that I started at ten.”

The thought sickened Yoori.

“You wish to train with rapists and killers?” she asked critically, surprised by the gravity of her own voice. She gazed at Jin Ae with hardened eyes. If Jin Ae knew what hell she had been put through, the last thing she would ask for was her upbringing. No ten-year-old should ever endure what she had to endure. “You wish to be beaten to near death for crying? You wish to sleep in a coffin with the decapitated body parts of the people you’ve killed?”

Horror filled Jin Ae’s broadened eyes. “I—I didn’t know that you had to sleep with amputated body parts,” she stuttered quietly, staring at Yoori in a whole new light. She swallowed convulsively. “I just thought that you kill them, and you become desensitized that way. You know, clean and easy, and then you become famous in our world . . .”

Yoori softened her stare on Jin Ae. It dawned on her why she felt such a need to come and talk to Jin Ae. Now that they had the opportunity to interact in a more civilized manner, it occurred to her that Jin Ae was almost the exact replica of her when she was younger. She was too prideful for her own good, too impulsive, and too dependent upon the Underworld for happiness and satisfaction in life. The only true difference was that Jin Ae had yet to kill someone. For this, Yoori also found herself staring at Jin Ae in a brand new light. Perhaps this girl wasn’t as monstrous as she led others to believe. Perhaps in this fleeting moment, she could be a friend to Yoori in her time of need.

“I didn’t kill him,” Yoori finally revealed, earning a shocked reaction from Jin Ae. “I didn’t kill Tae Hyun.”

It took Jin Ae a few seconds to digest this information.

“My uncle said that this was a battle to the death,” she breathed out, relief hovering in her voice. “How can you both be alive? What happened?”

“Young Jae and Ji Hoon intervened. During the battle, they intervened and ambushed us. Instead of fighting each other, we united and fought against their army instead.”

The shock had yet to leave Jin Ae. She still looked mystified. Out of all people, she knew how crucial this battle was for her uncle, for the whole Underworld. She was aware that nothing good would come out of a crownless battle.

“Who would have won had there not been an intervention?”

“We fought each other,” Yoori whispered brokenly, unable to directly answer the question. “For a very long time we fought with each other. We showed no mercy to one another until the very end, when I wanted it all to end . . . when I didn’t want to hurt him any further.”

Jin Ae appraised Yoori’s fragmented state. She did not look like a Queen who had won a battle; she looked like a Queen who was still at war with herself.

“You never planned on coming out of the battle alive, did you?” Jin Ae deduced shrewdly. When Yoori said nothing, she continued to reach for answers. “Why didn’t you kill him?”

Yoori pondered the question with a deep inhalation. She considered lying, but decided against it. Without filter, she said, “Because I want him to live forever.”

“If that’s the case,” Jin Ae began slowly, looking at the door as if expecting to see Tae Hyun there, “why aren’t you with him right now?”

Yoori looked down at the tiles. Her grief-stricken heart clenched at the recollection of their last conversation. “Because we’re not meant to be.”

A smile touched Jin Ae’s face. For the first time, some attributes of kindness marked Jin Ae’s eyes towards Yoori. She reached a hesitant hand out and placed it on Yoori’s shoulder.

A companionable air floated between them, making the room feel warmer and safer as the seconds ticked by.

“The two of you gave up the throne for each other, you risked your lives to keep each other alive, and now you say you’re not meant to be?” She laughed, looking at Yoori like she was the dumbest girl in the world. “You know, if I were you, and if Kwon Tae Hyun loved me like that, I’d risk everything to be with him.”

A nerve tugged at Yoori’s heart.

She looked at Jin Ae, alarmed by how much her simple statement rattled her. In the past, it had always been Tae Hyun who argued for their relationship. He had always been her opponent, the very conflicting force in all her decision making. It was one thing to hear him argue for their relationship, but it was something else entirely to get advice from his ex-girlfriend. It was no secret that Jin Ae disliked her. The fact that she was saying these words was not only disconcerting to her, but it was also jarring. Jin Ae had nothing to gain from convincing Yoori to be with Tae Hyun. Because of this, Yoori could not help but be attentive as she spoke to Jin Ae.