The Energy of Words: Use the Vibration of Language to Manifest the Life You Desire (11 page)

about how they managed to stick with it. Most, if not all, will tell you they didn’t do it alone but had a great deal of support from others. At the same time, they couldn’t do it FOR anyone else—they had to make the choice that they really

wanted it for themselves before it could be a lasting change.

If you’ve got a mildly negative vocabulary list needing only a few minor tweaks, then you may be able to do it alone. But if

your list is particularly nasty, complete with daily use of profanities, you definitely can’t afford to skip this step.

Rule 6: Climb the charts

Break out the washable markers or box of crayons, make a

chart, and give yourself some gold stars for your achieve-

ments along the way. Remember how great you felt when

your teacher gave you a star on your spelling assignments?

Visually seeing your achievements on a chart will go a long

way toward keeping you focused on your path. We all like a

good pat on the back for a job well done, so give yourself

one. Stick your chart on the fridge or your cubicle at work

and look at it often. Cross off the words you’ve mastered as

you go, and if you’re feeling confident with conquering your

current list, add new ones, too. Charting helps us to feel in

control and on track, especially those of us who might be

classified as “control freaks.” If you’re not into charting, at least aim to reward yourself regularly in other ways like buy-ing yourself something special or treating yourself to your

82 Practice Makes Perfect

favorite restaurant dish. Just be careful not to overindulge in that celebratory chocolate mousse or have too many cham-pagne toasts to your success or you’ll have more habits to

break than when you started!

Rule 7: Become a wise sage

This may be your first strategy to implement, because if

you’re not sure where to start in your search for positive life-altering replacement words, your first step is to become in-

formed. Inspirational books are a dime a dozen, and it’s a

matter of personal preference. Go to your local bookstore or

library and visit the self-help section in search of positive and inspirational books. Choose the books that call to you. Set

aside time each day to delve into them, making note of words

and phrases that strike a chord with you or make you feel

good. The Internet is also a great smorgasbord of positive

words, phrases, and inspiration if you look in the right places.

There is a twofold benefit to be gained from filling your

head with positive information. Not only do you get to

round out your new positive vocabulary list more easily than

having to think them up on your own, you also get the added

benefit of another source of daily positivity to keep you

going strong.

You can even take this strategy a step further and
become

the wise sage. Start by shaking things up in your life and rearranging your other patterns. You don’t have to quit your day

job and go meditate on the top of a mountain, but do aim to

reorganize how you approach the day. Some of the great

spiritual leaders do things differently than the rest of us.

Practice Makes Perfect 83

They may still have busy schedules and lots to do, but they

approach things with more awareness instead of going

through life on autopilot. Be more mindful of the other

things you’re doing in life and you’ll automatically begin to

be more mindful of the words you’re choosing to use. Do

you start your day by stumbling out of bed and putting the

coffee pot on? Why not take a refreshing shower first and

you might just find you’ll pass on that morning caffeine fix.

Take the scenic route home through the countryside instead

of getting stuck in the daily traffic jam. Consider rearranging your house or clearing out the clutter to better suit the more positive you. The ideas are limitless and you can customize

them to fit your life—have fun with it! Breaking or changing

old patterns makes way for new ones to form.

You now have seven effective ways to help you practice

permanently and easily shifting your vocabulary from nega-

tive to positive. This list isn’t comprised of the “be-all, end-all” strategies to switch your vocabulary into the positive, but it will certainly get you started and get your mind churning

with your own strategies. One of the best perks of going

through the seven habit-busting strategies in this chapter is

that you’ll find many areas of your life showing improve-

ment—maybe some you didn’t expect. Imagine going to

work as Positive Patty instead of Negative Nelly—it would

create a chain effect in the office! By broadening your per-

spective, filling your world with positive things, and finding a pep “buddy” to share the journey with, you’re sure to begin

shifting not only your vocabulary but your whole life. Posi-

84 Practice Makes Perfect

tivity is contagious and will soon permeate your inner and

outer life on all levels.

Remember, the goal isn’t simply to cut out profanities or

become the latest spiritual guru with all your inspirational

words; the underlying reason for shifting your vocabulary is

to shift your life into the positive to manifest your desires.

Keep your eye on the prize while following the steps in this

chapter and you’ll reap the rewards you seek.

C H A P T E R 6

;

Personalized Affirmations

that Really Work

Chances are, you’ve got a positive affirmations book some-

where on your bookshelf collecting dust. If you’re like me,

it’s likely not one of your all-time favorites and you probably don’t even remember the name of it.

Most affirmation books are general, and as a result, not as

helpful as they could be. They have an abundance of cheery

words and inspirational phrases, but when you attempt to

apply them in your own life, they feel somewhat like soda

that lost its fizz. To invoke real and lasting change using positive affirmations, you need to truly feel an affirmation with

every fiber of your being.

Think of a time when you read an inspirational quote just

when you needed it and it deeply resonated with you. The

85

86 Personalized Affirmations that Really Work

key to being successful with using affirmations is to not only understand the process intellectually but to connect with it

emotionally and spiritually as well. If an affirmation doesn’t resonate with you, toss it. It will be only a bunch of pretty words that are rather meaningless to you and may even do

more harm than good. Let’s say you’re trying to lose weight

and you use the affirmation “I am thin.” While it is a positive statement, it’s likely not going to help you feel or stay motivated to lose weight—quite the opposite! You’ll likely end up

feeling more self-conscious that you’re not thin
yet
.

How do we create our own personalized positive affirma-

tions that we’ll stick with? Here’s the part where you’ve got

to dig deep within yourself and pull out those remaining

negative records playing (over and over) to rewrite them into

some fresh new jams.

Start off by examining the negative words on your per-

sonal jargon list. Why do you think you use those words and

in what situations do you find yourself using them? Do cer-

tain people or places trigger you to use them? Most often we

use negative words when we’re fearful, insecure, or feeling

low, but some are so ingrained that we tend to use them all

the time, making it harder to nail down the reasons why we

use them. Some words can be cleaned from your list simply

by choosing to associate with more positive people, while

other words we use as a crutch or armor to shield us from

being hurt and aren’t as easily interchangeable.

Personalized Affirmations that Really Work 87

Step 1: Identify your negative patterns

This is easier than it sounds, and you don’t need to make an

appointment with your therapist to uncover these. For many

of us, the majority of the negative patterns or “broken re-

cords” in our minds were created during our childhood and

adolescence. Look back to your youth for traumatic experi-

ences that stand out. Chances are, these bad memories were

the start of one of the negative patterns hindering your life now. Were you bullied in school? Did you live in an abusive

household? Were you extra skinny or overweight as a child?

Always got C’s when your friends got A’s and B’s? Also, look

to your adult life: Did you go through a divorce? Are you re-

peatedly unlucky in love? Do you seem to attract poverty,

creating financial stress? Does your boss belittle you or your work performance? Some of the old patterns from childhood

may have been reshaped further by additional experiences as

an adult. Talking with someone close to you can be very

helpful in assisting you with revealing these patterns.

The second part to this step is to identify how these expe-

riences made you feel. This will help you to align the experi-

ence with the negative words on your jargon list (Step 2).

Beside each experience, write a few words that come to mind

about how the experience made you feel. Did you feel inse-

cure, hurt, insignificant, angry, jaded, vengeful, sad, afraid, or threatened? Try to be as precise with your feelings as possible to narrow in on your truest perception of the experience.

88 Personalized Affirmations that Really Work

Step 2: Choose the right words

to change your pattern

Once you’ve got your list of not-so-pleasant experiences and

words representing how they made you feel, compare those

experiences (and words) to your negative jargon list and pair

up a word on the list with the experience you believe caused

you to start using that word.

If you discover after reviewing your negative jargon list

that you tend to say “I can’t” because, as a child, you were

told by an adult that you’d never amount to anything, using

the affirmation “I can” really isn’t going to cut it. In this case, since there may be some deep-seated insecurity, you need to

start broader and work your way in or you’ll never buy what

you’re selling through the affirmations.

Referring back to the word conversion chart in Chapter 3

and the word-meaning reference section at the back of the

book, examine some of the more positive words to swap out

for the word “can’t.” A perfect substitute in this case would

be the phrase “I am open,” which allows for change but

doesn’t pressure you. Later on, you can move to “I can”

when your pattern has shifted enough that you feel it reso-

nates with you. The word “open” vibrates to the frequency

of 5, which represents freedom of expression. You’ve now

given yourself the freedom (but not the matter-of-fact pres-

sure of “I can”) to express yourself in any way you wish—

large or small.

The name of the game is to utilize words as a tool to

manifest the life we desire. The trick with creating your own

Personalized Affirmations that Really Work 89

unique affirmations is to match them to the negative pat-

terns you want to change within you. While this is the basic

goal of most affirmation books, you need to precisely pin-

point your
perception
of the pattern. Two people may share the same negative word in their daily vernacular list, but may have experienced completely different events that caused

them to use that word. This is where the personalized tweak-

ing comes in to shift your view of the experience or trauma

that entrenched the pattern. Thus, you begin to attract what

you do want and stop attracting what you don’t want.

Some of the new words you’ll be adding will come to

you as a hunch while others may need to be carefully se-

lected for their energetic meaning or flavor they infuse into

the new pattern. Write down the words that stand out for

you or that you’re intuitively drawn to, narrow the list down, and concentrate on the words’ energetic meanings.

Choosing the right positive words that match your indi-

vidual needs and wants is essential to shift your negative patterns into the positive. Everyone’s paths and experiences are

different and require different frequencies of words to tip the scales into the positive. This is precisely why customized affirmations are so vital. So let’s toss the outdated affirmations book like a fad diet and get back to the drawing board.

Suzy, a client of mine, uses several positive affirmations

comprised of words she feels are right for her and has great

success with them in terms of creating a sense of peace and

harmony, which in turn assists her in attracting more positive vibrations into her life through the law of attraction. Previously, Suzy always felt she was “pushing uphill” and every-

90 Personalized Affirmations that Really Work

thing seemed difficult to accomplish with lots of obstacles

constantly showing up in her life. After using mainstream af-

firmations from various books, which never truly resonated

with her or brought her much success, she applied her own